I've got yer terroir right here
April 22, 2015 5:06 PM Subscribe
Scientists create toe cheese from human toe bacteria. "Cheese is known for its stinky odor. But, cheeses at one exhibit at the Science Gallery Dublin in Trinity College Dublin come from an especially smelly source -- human toe, armpit, belly button and mouth bacteria.
"Selfmade, which is part of the Grow Your Own…Life After Nature exhibition, features different “microbial sketches” of cheeses created with bacteria samples from various people. Each cheese supposedly smells similar to the donor’s body odor."
"Selfmade, which is part of the Grow Your Own…Life After Nature exhibition, features different “microbial sketches” of cheeses created with bacteria samples from various people. Each cheese supposedly smells similar to the donor’s body odor."
Best paired with ass wine.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 PM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 5:08 PM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
> Best paired with ass wine.
Or perhaps Chateau LaFeet?
posted by mosk at 5:10 PM on April 22, 2015 [12 favorites]
Or perhaps Chateau LaFeet?
posted by mosk at 5:10 PM on April 22, 2015 [12 favorites]
this world can only be cleansed with fire
posted by poffin boffin at 5:12 PM on April 22, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 5:12 PM on April 22, 2015 [10 favorites]
There are things man was not meant to know.
posted by thomas j wise at 5:14 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by thomas j wise at 5:14 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
How long until high end celebrity breast milk cheese, for example, "Kardashian Camembert"?
posted by Renoroc at 5:16 PM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Renoroc at 5:16 PM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Needs a Gross tag.
posted by yoga at 5:16 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by yoga at 5:16 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.
posted by ostranenie at 5:16 PM on April 22, 2015
It's the only way to be sure.
posted by ostranenie at 5:16 PM on April 22, 2015
That toe cheese doesn't sound that bad, compared to, say, casu marzu. As for breast milk cheese, it's been done.
posted by TedW at 5:27 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by TedW at 5:27 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Aw man, I had managed to forget about casu marzu. Thanks a a lot.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 5:31 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 5:31 PM on April 22, 2015
I wish I could forget about casu marzu.
posted by TedW at 5:34 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by TedW at 5:34 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Nooooope nope nope nope nope.
posted by sarcasticah at 5:41 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by sarcasticah at 5:41 PM on April 22, 2015
Worst fondue party ever.
posted by peeedro at 5:42 PM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by peeedro at 5:42 PM on April 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
I always thought that what was between our toes was jam.
posted by jonmc at 5:57 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 5:57 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Those of you grossed out should look into the source of the flora that has naturally made the cheese we eat for thousands of years.
posted by tapesonthefloor at 5:59 PM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by tapesonthefloor at 5:59 PM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
"This isn't cheese for eating," Agapakis said at Pop Tech. "This is cheese for thinking."
"Look... still has some old toe lint on, never even eaten it."
"You've never eaten...?"
"Don't touch it!"
"We'll I wasn't going to touch it, I was just pointing at it."
"Well... don't point! It can't be eaten."
"Don't point, okay. Can I look at it?"
"No. no. That's it, you've seen enough of that one."
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 6:00 PM on April 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
"Look... still has some old toe lint on, never even eaten it."
"You've never eaten...?"
"Don't touch it!"
"We'll I wasn't going to touch it, I was just pointing at it."
"Well... don't point! It can't be eaten."
"Don't point, okay. Can I look at it?"
"No. no. That's it, you've seen enough of that one."
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 6:00 PM on April 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'll eat any cheese* including human microbe cheeses. I mean, cheese is milk of another species! Microbes from humans to turn another species' milk into delicious cheese is just a win in my book.
*Will not knowingly eat maggots. Casu marzu is out.
posted by littlewater at 6:01 PM on April 22, 2015
*Will not knowingly eat maggots. Casu marzu is out.
posted by littlewater at 6:01 PM on April 22, 2015
"This isn't cheese for eating," Agapakis said at Pop Tech. "This is cheese for thinking."
Ok so I've thought about it sufficiently and my thoughts are an amalgam of "fuck" and "no". Now where's the eating cheese?
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:06 PM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Ok so I've thought about it sufficiently and my thoughts are an amalgam of "fuck" and "no". Now where's the eating cheese?
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:06 PM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
I would still really like to try casu marzu, but probably when I'm a bit older and looking for a way to die. Also the bubbly Swedish canfish.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:07 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:07 PM on April 22, 2015
I love that many staples of modern cuisine are just food or drink that rotted or decomposed in one way or another that our poor, starved forebears were compelled to consume so as not to die.
Oh, if Thag, Glug, and Ork could see us now!
posted by resurrexit at 6:08 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh, if Thag, Glug, and Ork could see us now!
posted by resurrexit at 6:08 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
someone make a head cheese joke already cause I can't think of one right now cause all my brain can think of is EEEEWWW
posted by not_on_display at 6:11 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by not_on_display at 6:11 PM on April 22, 2015
John Hammond: I don't think you're giving us our due credit. Our scientists have done things which nobody's ever done before...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, that they didn't stop to think if they should.
posted by sidereal at 6:11 PM on April 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, that they didn't stop to think if they should.
posted by sidereal at 6:11 PM on April 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
posted by Rock Steady at 6:12 PM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 6:12 PM on April 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Cheese is for eating. This is a cheeselike entity. I was following along nodding my head with no double taking until that part. No. Why cannot we eat tihs
posted by aydeejones at 6:17 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by aydeejones at 6:17 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I love that many staples of modern cuisine are just food or drink that rotted or decomposed in one way or another that our poor, starved forebears were compelled to consume so as not to die.
Some of these foods were brought about from a lack of refrigeration, others through experimentation, others through sheer chance.
Great case in point is Icelandic kæst skata, or putrefied skate. Yes, we've all seen or heard about the putrefied shark and how horrid it is. It is nothing compared to skate. Not even seagulls will eat it, and this is a bird that will gleefully lap up someone's beer barf from the sidewalk. I once worked in a restaurant that one time had to prepare skate for 200 people. So powerful was the ammonia that we had to open all the windows and doors in the kitchen, while wearing damp rags as balaclavas. The super-patriot head chef who was normally eager to defend even the most pointless Icelandic traditions bellowed at length while we steamed those vile, piss-saturated things, about how we have fridges now and don't need to eat this shit anymore and when will all these old people die off so we can stop pretending to like skate and so forth. It was a long shift.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 6:18 PM on April 22, 2015 [23 favorites]
Some of these foods were brought about from a lack of refrigeration, others through experimentation, others through sheer chance.
Great case in point is Icelandic kæst skata, or putrefied skate. Yes, we've all seen or heard about the putrefied shark and how horrid it is. It is nothing compared to skate. Not even seagulls will eat it, and this is a bird that will gleefully lap up someone's beer barf from the sidewalk. I once worked in a restaurant that one time had to prepare skate for 200 people. So powerful was the ammonia that we had to open all the windows and doors in the kitchen, while wearing damp rags as balaclavas. The super-patriot head chef who was normally eager to defend even the most pointless Icelandic traditions bellowed at length while we steamed those vile, piss-saturated things, about how we have fridges now and don't need to eat this shit anymore and when will all these old people die off so we can stop pretending to like skate and so forth. It was a long shift.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 6:18 PM on April 22, 2015 [23 favorites]
The only head cheese I like is Boar's Head cheese, and that's a bad attempt at a pun, I don't know if they make actual head cheese (a pork product)
posted by aydeejones at 6:19 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by aydeejones at 6:19 PM on April 22, 2015
I can't get behind notes of ammonia. It's death and piss smell.
posted by aydeejones at 6:20 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by aydeejones at 6:20 PM on April 22, 2015
someone make a head cheese joke already
Smegmanchego
posted by Kabanos at 6:20 PM on April 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
Smegmanchego
posted by Kabanos at 6:20 PM on April 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
This would explain Stinking Bishop
Stinking Bishop is really fucking delicious. It may be the best English thing in England.
posted by srboisvert at 6:37 PM on April 22, 2015
Stinking Bishop is really fucking delicious. It may be the best English thing in England.
posted by srboisvert at 6:37 PM on April 22, 2015
Best paired with ass wine.
I believe the correct term is "dutty wine."
posted by 1adam12 at 6:38 PM on April 22, 2015
I believe the correct term is "dutty wine."
posted by 1adam12 at 6:38 PM on April 22, 2015
Armpitzeller
posted by Hairy Lobster at 7:07 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by Hairy Lobster at 7:07 PM on April 22, 2015
I thought Kirk managed to beat Casu Marzu by hacking the Academy computers? Now you're telling me that he just made the maggots crawl into Chekov's ear? Man, these reboots are hard work.
posted by Devonian at 7:17 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Devonian at 7:17 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
How long until high end celebrity breast milk cheese, for example, "Kardashian Camembert"?
In Canada, because of supply management and a 246% tariff on imported cheese, we can only get "Earl Camembert" – made using Eugene Levy's eyebrow bacteria.
posted by Kabanos at 7:20 PM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
In Canada, because of supply management and a 246% tariff on imported cheese, we can only get "Earl Camembert" – made using Eugene Levy's eyebrow bacteria.
posted by Kabanos at 7:20 PM on April 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
Surely, taint cheese can't be far behind.
posted by doctor_negative at 7:26 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by doctor_negative at 7:26 PM on April 22, 2015
Why not just stick your tongue between a hobo's toes?
posted by rankfreudlite at 7:40 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by rankfreudlite at 7:40 PM on April 22, 2015
What are you trying to do -- make me sick?
/roseannadanna
posted by Fuzzypumper at 7:51 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
/roseannadanna
posted by Fuzzypumper at 7:51 PM on April 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Huh. I didn't think the subject of the FPP would be the least disgusting thing mentioned in the thread.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:52 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:52 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Those of you grossed out should look into the source of the flora that has naturally made the cheese we eat for thousands of years.
Indeed. I didn't quite see it mentioned in the article, but Limburger is basically made from smelly feet bacteria, as is its slightly less pungent relative Brick cheese. Not specifically taken from smelly feet, but the same kind of bacteria. I bought some Brick cheese once, and it was a horrible mistake.
posted by LionIndex at 9:59 PM on April 22, 2015
Indeed. I didn't quite see it mentioned in the article, but Limburger is basically made from smelly feet bacteria, as is its slightly less pungent relative Brick cheese. Not specifically taken from smelly feet, but the same kind of bacteria. I bought some Brick cheese once, and it was a horrible mistake.
posted by LionIndex at 9:59 PM on April 22, 2015
Limburger isn't a problem for me (haven't had Brick), but the one cheese I couldn't finish was a particularly pungent variety of Danish Tilsit. It literally smelled like ass. I don't want to know which of my microbes are the brethren of those on that cheese.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:28 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:28 PM on April 22, 2015
instantly reminded of the oh so edgy vice vagina yoghurt article.
posted by emptythought at 11:01 PM on April 22, 2015
posted by emptythought at 11:01 PM on April 22, 2015
"This isn't cheese for eating," Agapakis said at Pop Tech. "This is cheese for thinking."
"All I have is a piece of hard rock candy. But it's not for eatin'. It's just for lookin' through."
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:20 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
"All I have is a piece of hard rock candy. But it's not for eatin'. It's just for lookin' through."
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:20 PM on April 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Unique finish to a tasting meal! Guess the cheese.
Also better than giving truckles with personalised labels at Christmas! A gift they wont forget.
posted by asok at 2:06 AM on April 23, 2015
Also better than giving truckles with personalised labels at Christmas! A gift they wont forget.
posted by asok at 2:06 AM on April 23, 2015
Why not just stick your tongue between a hobo's toes?
Hm. A detail from one of Samuel Delany's novels that I couldn't get through.
posted by aught at 5:53 AM on April 23, 2015
Hm. A detail from one of Samuel Delany's novels that I couldn't get through.
posted by aught at 5:53 AM on April 23, 2015
The only head cheese I like is Boar's Head cheese, and that's a bad attempt at a pun, I don't know if they make actual head cheese (a pork product)
Of course they do.
My dad used to own a store with a deli counter and got his meats from Boar's Head; there was a prim, refined older woman who came in every Saturday without fail to buy a pound of head cheese. Honestly, the idea of head cheese is worse than the real thing. In case it's not clear, no dairy cheese product is involved - it's actually a terrine or aspic, made mainly of chopped veal or pork tongue in broth gelatin, these days, as opposed to the original from centuries past which is more along the lines of what people imagine (eyes, brain, snout, etc.).
posted by aught at 6:05 AM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Of course they do.
My dad used to own a store with a deli counter and got his meats from Boar's Head; there was a prim, refined older woman who came in every Saturday without fail to buy a pound of head cheese. Honestly, the idea of head cheese is worse than the real thing. In case it's not clear, no dairy cheese product is involved - it's actually a terrine or aspic, made mainly of chopped veal or pork tongue in broth gelatin, these days, as opposed to the original from centuries past which is more along the lines of what people imagine (eyes, brain, snout, etc.).
posted by aught at 6:05 AM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
As I write this actual dairy cheese is being made across the hall from my office.
I should not have clicked this link.
I feel like I'm going to puke as I equate this with what I can hear and smell being done.
I'm involved with testing cheese for any nasties that make it not good to eat. I know all the potential sources of these nasties and MY GOD THIS LINK IS LIKE THE WORST NASTY HORROR I CAN IMAGINE RIGHT NOW.
posted by Jalliah at 6:41 AM on April 23, 2015
I should not have clicked this link.
I feel like I'm going to puke as I equate this with what I can hear and smell being done.
I'm involved with testing cheese for any nasties that make it not good to eat. I know all the potential sources of these nasties and MY GOD THIS LINK IS LIKE THE WORST NASTY HORROR I CAN IMAGINE RIGHT NOW.
posted by Jalliah at 6:41 AM on April 23, 2015
yoga: Needs a Gross tag.
Also a toe tag!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:10 AM on April 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
Also a toe tag!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 7:10 AM on April 23, 2015 [4 favorites]
How long until high end celebrity breast milk cheese, for example, "Kardashian Camembert"?
And why stop there? Life could imitate art.
posted by univac at 8:11 AM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
And why stop there? Life could imitate art.
posted by univac at 8:11 AM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
> Honestly, the idea of head cheese is worse than the real thing. In case it's not clear, no dairy cheese product is involved - it's actually a terrine or aspic, made mainly of chopped veal or pork tongue in broth gelatin, these days, as opposed to the original from centuries past which is more along the lines of what people imagine (eyes, brain, snout, etc.).
It's not so much the idea as calling it "cheese" that's the problem, I think, as it brings to mind some sort of milky effluvia from the head, which seems all kinds of wrong. (Actually, meat from pig's feet is often added to head cheese as well, so it's more properly head-and-foot-cheese. Huh, not helping.)
But really, there's a lot of meat in the head of an animal and there's no reason to waste it. It's not "pretty" cuts of meat, since the best way to get at it is by simmering for a long time, but the various types of head meat are pretty mild in flavor, not particularly offal-y. Here's HuffPo making that point, including pictures.
posted by desuetude at 8:52 AM on April 23, 2015
It's not so much the idea as calling it "cheese" that's the problem, I think, as it brings to mind some sort of milky effluvia from the head, which seems all kinds of wrong. (Actually, meat from pig's feet is often added to head cheese as well, so it's more properly head-and-foot-cheese. Huh, not helping.)
But really, there's a lot of meat in the head of an animal and there's no reason to waste it. It's not "pretty" cuts of meat, since the best way to get at it is by simmering for a long time, but the various types of head meat are pretty mild in flavor, not particularly offal-y. Here's HuffPo making that point, including pictures.
posted by desuetude at 8:52 AM on April 23, 2015
I would rather have a thousand baby spiders explode in my kitchen than eat toe cheese.
posted by desjardins at 11:28 AM on April 23, 2015
posted by desjardins at 11:28 AM on April 23, 2015
*I* would rather have a thousand baby spiders hatch in my ears than eat Limburger. Or even be in the same room with it.
posted by merelyglib at 11:53 AM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by merelyglib at 11:53 AM on April 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
My Opa used to eat fried Limburger. It was horrible.
posted by MissySedai at 2:07 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by MissySedai at 2:07 PM on April 23, 2015
I'm surprised no one's mentioned Rogue Ale's beard yeast beer, which had the working name New Crustacean!
But truly, many of the cultures used in cheesemaking and fermenting have wild origins, which means they could have easily grown from spores on manure or latrines or rotting flesh, and in fact, a culture used in Swiss cheese, Propionibacterium, is found on human skin.
Everything is disgusting if you think about it too hard!
posted by Queen of Spreadable Fats at 2:52 PM on April 23, 2015
But truly, many of the cultures used in cheesemaking and fermenting have wild origins, which means they could have easily grown from spores on manure or latrines or rotting flesh, and in fact, a culture used in Swiss cheese, Propionibacterium, is found on human skin.
Everything is disgusting if you think about it too hard!
posted by Queen of Spreadable Fats at 2:52 PM on April 23, 2015
Wow, beard yeast beer? That's like an Onion article making fun of hipsters. Is it served in a derby hat?
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 3:36 PM on April 23, 2015
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 3:36 PM on April 23, 2015
Is this like that restaurant in Naked Lunch that was taken over by a psychopath and started serving things garnished with nettles? Is that where this is going? Or like that weird toe drink, where you drink the drink with the toe in it and everyone goes "wow" or "gross"?
Or is it just...silly?
posted by ostranenie at 7:11 PM on April 26, 2015
Or is it just...silly?
posted by ostranenie at 7:11 PM on April 26, 2015
« Older A Punch in the Gut | The Wrath of Diana Kennedy Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by pxe2000 at 5:06 PM on April 22, 2015 [10 favorites]