Now It's Time for Things I Bought at Sheetz
May 19, 2015 7:33 PM Subscribe
Podcast king Justin McElroy, of My Brother My Brother and Me and Sawbones (previously) has a new food review/quiz show in which Justin and a friend review purchases from Sheetz. The results are... informative?
So far they have reviewed:
Cotton Candy Donut
Breakfast Burrito
Trashcan Cookie
And the thrilling season finale Gatorade?
So far they have reviewed:
Cotton Candy Donut
Breakfast Burrito
Trashcan Cookie
And the thrilling season finale Gatorade?
Wait, not only does Sheetz have quite an unfortunate name but these are food items that exist at said poorly named place??
there really is no god
posted by Kitteh at 7:52 PM on May 19, 2015
there really is no god
posted by Kitteh at 7:52 PM on May 19, 2015
Well, this may help explain why Justin pooped his pants on his way to the Chicago live show.
posted by maxsparber at 7:54 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by maxsparber at 7:54 PM on May 19, 2015 [7 favorites]
Damnit Justin, now Powerade is going to pull their sponsorship.
posted by kmz at 7:58 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kmz at 7:58 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is no way to earn cookie points.
posted by Simon! at 8:01 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Simon! at 8:01 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
BTW, the latest Sawbones was a delight, especially the surprise sponsor at the very end.
posted by kmz at 8:02 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kmz at 8:02 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Also don't miss the video review of a Rocketeer game, proving Hoops has been in the game reviewing biz for a long long time.
posted by kmz at 8:13 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kmz at 8:13 PM on May 19, 2015 [1 favorite]
Kitteh: "Wait, not only does Sheetz have quite an unfortunate name but these are food items that exist at said poorly named place??"
And they are amazing. You will never, can never eat a better meal in your entire life than eating an MTO at 2am, 21 years old, and drunk.
posted by namewithoutwords at 8:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
And they are amazing. You will never, can never eat a better meal in your entire life than eating an MTO at 2am, 21 years old, and drunk.
posted by namewithoutwords at 8:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [5 favorites]
Sheetz is kind of like the gas station version of Wegman's. Except Turkey Hill has better iced tea.
posted by lagomorphius at 8:39 PM on May 19, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 8:39 PM on May 19, 2015 [11 favorites]
At least one of their made-to-order items is jazzed up by starting with "Sh"; I think it may be the Shmiscuits. I cannot get enough of this.
posted by epj at 9:14 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by epj at 9:14 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
I did not see that twist coming in the finale.
I hope they get Vince Vaughn for season 2.
posted by maryr at 9:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
I hope they get Vince Vaughn for season 2.
posted by maryr at 9:19 PM on May 19, 2015 [2 favorites]
BTW, I just watched all of this year's Eurovision entries and yet I will be going to bed with "Now you just watched Things I Bought At Sheetz!" stuck in my head.
So thanks.
posted by maryr at 9:24 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
So thanks.
posted by maryr at 9:24 PM on May 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
Ha! The cookies are branded "Shweetz"! This place looks like a Trader Joes for people who get stoned after 10 pm.
posted by biddeford at 9:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by biddeford at 9:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [8 favorites]
You will never, can never eat a better meal in your entire life than eating an MTO at 2am, 21 years old, and drunk.
A close second, though, is the one you eat the following morning as "hangover ballast".
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
A close second, though, is the one you eat the following morning as "hangover ballast".
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:53 PM on May 19, 2015 [3 favorites]
When the Great War Within the State arrives, Pennsylvanians will have to choose which army to support: Sheetz or Wawa. #TeamSheetz
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 3:37 AM on May 20, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 3:37 AM on May 20, 2015 [8 favorites]
Sheetz has been aggressively expanding in the counties around here. The convenience store inventory is pretty run of the mill, given as it's the same few corporate behemoths that are capable of producing junk food at the scale necessary for supplying multiple large-volume retailers. By local standards it's pretty bland, if anything, since it doesn't even have the same range of Hispanic snacks that most gas stations hereabouts have.
So what it really has in its favor are the following few things:
* free air for the tires. None of that coin-op bullshit. And the pressure gauge cutoff always works correctly too. This alone wins them my admiration.
* cheap-ish gas. I know that's a pretty fraught thing, because they're basically selling on margins specifically to try to shut down nearby (usually locally-owned) competition. But this is our deal with the devil.
* the fast food counter. Not the food itself because it seems like bog-standard Sysco stuff to me. And because I got sick on their coffee once. No, it's the touch screen ordering system. It's brilliant. I've never really seen people avidly experimenting with their food orders just to see what the system allows. Can't imagine Sheetz making money out of an in-store kitchen profitably if they'd required customers to place their orders by talking to tired, cranky polyester-uniformed human beings full of forced cheer, because then they'd seem exactly like any other almost-as-good-as-the-real-thing fast food franchise.
posted by ardgedee at 4:01 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
So what it really has in its favor are the following few things:
* free air for the tires. None of that coin-op bullshit. And the pressure gauge cutoff always works correctly too. This alone wins them my admiration.
* cheap-ish gas. I know that's a pretty fraught thing, because they're basically selling on margins specifically to try to shut down nearby (usually locally-owned) competition. But this is our deal with the devil.
* the fast food counter. Not the food itself because it seems like bog-standard Sysco stuff to me. And because I got sick on their coffee once. No, it's the touch screen ordering system. It's brilliant. I've never really seen people avidly experimenting with their food orders just to see what the system allows. Can't imagine Sheetz making money out of an in-store kitchen profitably if they'd required customers to place their orders by talking to tired, cranky polyester-uniformed human beings full of forced cheer, because then they'd seem exactly like any other almost-as-good-as-the-real-thing fast food franchise.
posted by ardgedee at 4:01 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
This place looks like a Trader Joes for people who get stoned after 10 pm.
Whereas Trader Joe's is the Trader Joes for people who get stoned before 10pm.
Are there people cookies ... for cats?
posted by uncleozzy at 4:26 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
Whereas Trader Joe's is the Trader Joes for people who get stoned before 10pm.
Are there people cookies ... for cats?
posted by uncleozzy at 4:26 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
Sheetz also has an awesome car wash. The blow dry cycle is like hurricane force wind. It's more fun than useful. I fully expect that having a luxury shower for your car is on the list of Reasons They Hate Us.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:32 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 4:32 AM on May 20, 2015
Ah, Sheetz. You know if you're driving around in Virginia, the presence of Sheetz is the official sign that you have left "the DC area" and are now just in "Virginia". I must say, the hot cocoa is the most comforting possible thing on a long night.
"Oh, you love it. No, no--you want to die." "Both!!" was great.
posted by capricorn at 4:38 AM on May 20, 2015
"Oh, you love it. No, no--you want to die." "Both!!" was great.
posted by capricorn at 4:38 AM on May 20, 2015
Sheetz is great when you're traveling through the endless state of Pennsylvania. The bathrooms are generally clean, the coffee is drinkable and the sandwiches are pretty good and fast.
posted by octothorpe at 5:15 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by octothorpe at 5:15 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
I spent a couple of weeks this year working out of a very small town, and had to get lunch every day at a tiny off-brand gas station. I would have killed for the selection offered by a big chain, even a crappy one like Sheetz. It is about the fourth day in a row when eating gas station food gets really depressing and you start reconsidering your life choices.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:26 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by Dip Flash at 5:26 AM on May 20, 2015
I must say, the hot cocoa is the most comforting possible thing on a long night.
When I first moved to VA to go to college I was like, "Sheetz?? Haha, what kind of a dumb name is that?" But then my roomate was like "Hot cocoa 24 hours a day, yo" and I never laughed at Sheetz again.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:37 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
When I first moved to VA to go to college I was like, "Sheetz?? Haha, what kind of a dumb name is that?" But then my roomate was like "Hot cocoa 24 hours a day, yo" and I never laughed at Sheetz again.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:37 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
At least one of their made-to-order items is jazzed up by starting with "Sh"; I think it may be the Shmiscuits.
no no it's even better than that!
It's the SHMUFFIN. shmuffin shmuffin shmuffin
posted by clavicle at 5:54 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
no no it's even better than that!
It's the SHMUFFIN. shmuffin shmuffin shmuffin
posted by clavicle at 5:54 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
I think I may be approaching Maximum McElroy, still loved it.
posted by goHermGO at 6:01 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by goHermGO at 6:01 AM on May 20, 2015
Maximum McElroy
AKA the new name of the Maximum Fun network after Justin defeats Jesse Thorn in a duel for true podcast supremacy.
posted by kmz at 6:39 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
AKA the new name of the Maximum Fun network after Justin defeats Jesse Thorn in a duel for true podcast supremacy.
posted by kmz at 6:39 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
I have to vote Sheetz for food and gas, although Wawa clearly has the better name.
posted by MtDewd at 7:16 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by MtDewd at 7:16 AM on May 20, 2015
Sheetz is expanding from the highways into urban areas finally.
posted by octothorpe at 7:25 AM on May 20, 2015
posted by octothorpe at 7:25 AM on May 20, 2015
The only time I defriended someone on Facebook, it's because they thought Wawa was superior to Sheetz. #TeamSheetz #latenightquarterpoundchilicheesedogonabaguettte
posted by thecaddy at 7:27 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by thecaddy at 7:27 AM on May 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Wtf is Sheetz?
An Americanized version of the German name Schütz.
posted by effbot at 7:34 AM on May 20, 2015
An Americanized version of the German name Schütz.
posted by effbot at 7:34 AM on May 20, 2015
Wtf is Sheetz?
Sheetz is patient, Sheetz is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Sheetz does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 7:36 AM on May 20, 2015 [7 favorites]
Sheetz is patient, Sheetz is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Sheetz does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 7:36 AM on May 20, 2015 [7 favorites]
Sheetz go on bedz.
posted by maxsparber at 7:41 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by maxsparber at 7:41 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
As in, you've made your bedz, now go snack in them.
posted by maryr at 9:47 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by maryr at 9:47 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
(Sheetz will not kick you out of bedz for eating crackerz.)
posted by maryr at 9:47 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by maryr at 9:47 AM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
The only time I defriended someone on Facebook, it's because they thought Wawa was superior to Sheetz.
Who are you monsters that prefer Sheetz to Wawa*? Wawa is the way, the truth, and the light; blessed be its name.
*Virginia Wawas are mere husks of true Wawas, and should not be considered in this analysis.
posted by Maecenas at 1:39 PM on May 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Who are you monsters that prefer Sheetz to Wawa*? Wawa is the way, the truth, and the light; blessed be its name.
*Virginia Wawas are mere husks of true Wawas, and should not be considered in this analysis.
posted by Maecenas at 1:39 PM on May 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Sheetz is how you explain T-Mobile coverage to urban Pittsburghers.
Sometimes people ask me, "Yo, tss, is T-Mobile right for me, or should I pay more for AT&T or Verizon or whatever?"
I say, "Do you know what a Sheetz is? Have you ever been around one? If you have, did you ever want to be talking on the phone during those moments?"
"If so, T-Mobile may not be right for you."
posted by tss at 8:27 PM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Sometimes people ask me, "Yo, tss, is T-Mobile right for me, or should I pay more for AT&T or Verizon or whatever?"
I say, "Do you know what a Sheetz is? Have you ever been around one? If you have, did you ever want to be talking on the phone during those moments?"
"If so, T-Mobile may not be right for you."
posted by tss at 8:27 PM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Attention: there's a new episode up. The subject is Australian Style Green Apple Liquorice. Stay tuned for the shocking ending.
posted by dirtdirt at 2:03 PM on May 21, 2015
posted by dirtdirt at 2:03 PM on May 21, 2015
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