robbed, assaulted and left for dead in 1267 by six thieves
June 12, 2015 5:45 PM Subscribe
@deathmedieval is a bot that tweets lines from coroner's rolls in England between 1200 and 1500 AD. (related)
The price is the deodand.
This is so sad: Richard, son of John le Mazon, stopped to play upon the London Bridge, but fell into the water and was drowned in 1301.
posted by Thing at 5:58 PM on June 12, 2015 [8 favorites]
This is so sad: Richard, son of John le Mazon, stopped to play upon the London Bridge, but fell into the water and was drowned in 1301.
posted by Thing at 5:58 PM on June 12, 2015 [8 favorites]
John, died 1297 of a deep wound to the belly, run into by an ox being brought to slaughter
They did not adiquately explain to oxen who was supposed to be the slaughteree in those days.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:59 PM on June 12, 2015 [5 favorites]
They did not adiquately explain to oxen who was supposed to be the slaughteree in those days.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:59 PM on June 12, 2015 [5 favorites]
Etrigan, check the second link. That amount would be donated to the crown.
Preferred syntax must have been different, because I'm reading snark from:
Fulco Neyrmit, died 1298 of an arrow passing through the left eye and into the brain, given to him in attempted burglary
posted by halifix at 6:01 PM on June 12, 2015 [3 favorites]
Preferred syntax must have been different, because I'm reading snark from:
Fulco Neyrmit, died 1298 of an arrow passing through the left eye and into the brain, given to him in attempted burglary
posted by halifix at 6:01 PM on June 12, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, someone needs to do something about Hugo de Houdeby and all his felonious slaying.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:03 PM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:03 PM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is something I first saw on Metafilter, I would dig up the link if I had time. Previously I looked at it there were a number of repeated entries, is it better now?
posted by asok at 6:14 PM on June 12, 2015
posted by asok at 6:14 PM on June 12, 2015
Someone needs to stop these clerks
posted by The Whelk at 6:45 PM on June 12, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 6:45 PM on June 12, 2015 [4 favorites]
Someone told me that it's probably that when teens killed someone, they assumed they were clerks.
posted by ignignokt at 6:46 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ignignokt at 6:46 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
Look, a guy brings in all his receipts and they're on like, birch leaves and figgins, you're going to lose it.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 6:51 PM on June 12, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 6:51 PM on June 12, 2015 [5 favorites]
Okay, what is it with clerks killing people back then?
Just the lowest level of society where you'd bother noting it?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:53 PM on June 12, 2015
Just the lowest level of society where you'd bother noting it?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:53 PM on June 12, 2015
John de Thorpe, drowned in 1322 when thrown in tempestuous waters from his boat, the “Dongbot”isn't that the new Boston Dynamics "personal services" product?
posted by russm at 7:05 PM on June 12, 2015 [6 favorites]
"I wasn't even supposed to be working today"
posted by Renoroc at 7:13 PM on June 12, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by Renoroc at 7:13 PM on June 12, 2015 [9 favorites]
I think being a clerk pretty much just meant you knew how to read and write, and maybe had a job that involved doing those things. Not so many people like that in the whole country, but plenty in the cities, proportionally.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 7:16 PM on June 12, 2015
posted by strangely stunted trees at 7:16 PM on June 12, 2015
"Geoff the Mason, a mason, died 1298..."
posted by wallabear at 7:22 PM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by wallabear at 7:22 PM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
Michael Cardoyl, stabbed with an Irish knife in 1300 by Robert “Delmham” after a wordy strife, which arose due to former rancour and abuse.
How many lives must we lose to wordy strife? People! Put down your staffs, arrows, bidowes, bucklers, gambisons, knives, walls, palets and surly oxen, and WORK IT OUT!
posted by biddeford at 7:24 PM on June 12, 2015 [8 favorites]
How many lives must we lose to wordy strife? People! Put down your staffs, arrows, bidowes, bucklers, gambisons, knives, walls, palets and surly oxen, and WORK IT OUT!
posted by biddeford at 7:24 PM on June 12, 2015 [8 favorites]
your mother has been murdered by clerks.
posted by poffin boffin at 7:28 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by poffin boffin at 7:28 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
Joice de Cornwall, stabbed by Robert de Exeter in 1301 after a brawl broke out when Robert ruined Joice’s game of chequers.
We obviously need to ban the game of chequers at once. Nothing good can come of that pastime.
posted by octothorpe at 7:33 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
We obviously need to ban the game of chequers at once. Nothing good can come of that pastime.
posted by octothorpe at 7:33 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
There are good long stretches of drownings sometimes as well
/roastbeef
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:04 PM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
/roastbeef
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:04 PM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
From the tumblr:
Manors were very rarely given their own coroner, as they were to be less trusted; such coroners would be more loyal to their lord instead of the crown, and may hold chattels and deodands from the crown come the eyre.
In college my first ever English lit course we studied Jane Eyre and one day we did a lesson on "meaningful names", and what Charlotte Bronte might have wanted to say by giving Jane the last name Eyre, and at no time was it revealed that "Eyre" means "a circuit court held in medieval England by a judge (a justice in eyre ) who rode from county to county for that purpose." I feel like I got ripped off and that I have to read Jane Eyre again.
posted by bleep at 8:50 PM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
Manors were very rarely given their own coroner, as they were to be less trusted; such coroners would be more loyal to their lord instead of the crown, and may hold chattels and deodands from the crown come the eyre.
In college my first ever English lit course we studied Jane Eyre and one day we did a lesson on "meaningful names", and what Charlotte Bronte might have wanted to say by giving Jane the last name Eyre, and at no time was it revealed that "Eyre" means "a circuit court held in medieval England by a judge (a justice in eyre ) who rode from county to county for that purpose." I feel like I got ripped off and that I have to read Jane Eyre again.
posted by bleep at 8:50 PM on June 12, 2015 [2 favorites]
In 1300, Richard le Brewere, overcome with drink, fell down the stairs while carrying a bag of malt
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:12 PM on June 12, 2015
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:12 PM on June 12, 2015
This is kind of a bummer of a read, actually.
(Interesting, but a bummer).
Fuck clerks
posted by univac at 10:21 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
(Interesting, but a bummer).
Fuck clerks
posted by univac at 10:21 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
Joice de Cornwall, stabbed by Robert de Exeter in 1301 after a brawl broke out when Robert ruined Joice’s game of chequers.
Let me guess, the checker set was worth 2s.
posted by boilermonster at 10:39 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
Let me guess, the checker set was worth 2s.
posted by boilermonster at 10:39 PM on June 12, 2015 [1 favorite]
It hath been often ƒaid ye pen iƒ deemed mightier than ƒword, but wo on us, for clerks wield both
posted by The Zeroth Law at 11:21 PM on June 12, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by The Zeroth Law at 11:21 PM on June 12, 2015 [5 favorites]
Okay, what is it with clerks killing people back then?
'Clerk' in this context means 'clericus'. This originally meant a priest (i.e. a clerk in holy orders) but in the Middle Ages the definition of a clerk was extended to include anyone who could pass a basic literacy test. If you were accused of a serious crime, it was highly desirable to be recognised as a 'clerk' as it meant that you could claim benefit of clergy to avoid being hanged.
posted by verstegan at 2:10 AM on June 13, 2015 [22 favorites]
'Clerk' in this context means 'clericus'. This originally meant a priest (i.e. a clerk in holy orders) but in the Middle Ages the definition of a clerk was extended to include anyone who could pass a basic literacy test. If you were accused of a serious crime, it was highly desirable to be recognised as a 'clerk' as it meant that you could claim benefit of clergy to avoid being hanged.
posted by verstegan at 2:10 AM on June 13, 2015 [22 favorites]
It hath been often ſaid þe pen iſ deemed mightier than ſword, but wo on us, for clerks wield both
FTFY.
posted by grouse at 7:12 AM on June 13, 2015 [3 favorites]
FTFY.
posted by grouse at 7:12 AM on June 13, 2015 [3 favorites]
> Someone needs to stop these clerks
Right? They're not even supposed to be here today!
posted by ostranenie at 7:36 AM on June 13, 2015 [3 favorites]
Right? They're not even supposed to be here today!
posted by ostranenie at 7:36 AM on June 13, 2015 [3 favorites]
If you tweet @ the bot, it will give you a medieval death of your very own.
"rodlymight, you have died of an arrow through the eye which reached even into the brain"
posted by rodlymight at 10:27 AM on June 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
"rodlymight, you have died of an arrow through the eye which reached even into the brain"
posted by rodlymight at 10:27 AM on June 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is there any way too read only the ones from the rolls, and skip the "@Sam, thou hast died of dysentery" responses?
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 10:39 AM on June 13, 2015
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 10:39 AM on June 13, 2015
Now I know where Colin Meloy gets his song ideas.
posted by lordrunningclam at 11:18 AM on June 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by lordrunningclam at 11:18 AM on June 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
A dead man, found in 1362 by John Atfield, who had not been wounded, but “somewhat lacerated by dogs.”
well I guess it could be worse
posted by hap_hazard at 3:04 PM on June 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
well I guess it could be worse
posted by hap_hazard at 3:04 PM on June 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
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Also, what is the weird fascination with the price of things? Sure, "slain... for goods in his possession worth 2s" makes sense, but "Joan, a little over a year old, died in 1363 being scalded by boiling water in a brass pot. The pot was worth two shillings."? The price of the pot does not seem germane there.
posted by Etrigan at 5:55 PM on June 12, 2015 [5 favorites]