"I try to be as responsive as I know how."
June 30, 2015 6:26 PM Subscribe
The Ultra Hal chatbot converses with itself. Ultra Hal is a learning chatbot and virtual assistant from zabbaware, as well as a $29 ticket to an Uncanny Valley of sexism, materialism and banality.
The combination of incoherence and vocabulary makes it sound like two extremely drunk graduate students trying to hook up.
posted by The Whelk at 6:34 PM on June 30, 2015 [17 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 6:34 PM on June 30, 2015 [17 favorites]
Grad school is a great time in one's life to get drunk and hit on nascent chatbots in ways they will remember forever.
posted by Phssthpok at 6:39 PM on June 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Phssthpok at 6:39 PM on June 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Can I sit next to you and watch you smile?"
No, creepy person. Please stay very far away from me.
posted by pompomtom at 6:41 PM on June 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
No, creepy person. Please stay very far away from me.
posted by pompomtom at 6:41 PM on June 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
--Could I interest you in some chicken vol au vents?
--I do have leftover gravy!
posted by Wolfdog at 6:43 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
--I do have leftover gravy!
posted by Wolfdog at 6:43 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
"But you have put on weight."
"There has certainly been a lot written over the years about weight, hasn't there?"
"Yes, perhaps too much."
We JUST HAD this MetaTalk!
posted by Jeanne at 6:44 PM on June 30, 2015 [27 favorites]
"There has certainly been a lot written over the years about weight, hasn't there?"
"Yes, perhaps too much."
We JUST HAD this MetaTalk!
posted by Jeanne at 6:44 PM on June 30, 2015 [27 favorites]
I’m not seeing anything new/interesting with the Zabaware chatbot.
Some researchers at Google have created an interesting bot using trained neural networks: “A Neural Conversational Model” (PDF; transcripts start on page three).
posted by D.C. at 6:45 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
Some researchers at Google have created an interesting bot using trained neural networks: “A Neural Conversational Model” (PDF; transcripts start on page three).
posted by D.C. at 6:45 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
There used to be an MegaHAL server where you could converse with it, and view its conversations with other people. I remember a girl trying to tell it about her horse, which it kept insulting or saying entirely bizarre things about, but she persisted. "D'Artagnan is a GOOD horse. A GREY horse." "The old grey goose is dead." "HE'S NOT DEAD" etc.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:47 PM on June 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Wolfdog at 6:47 PM on June 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
Good to see Tom Stoppard is keeping up with the times.
posted by Drexen at 6:49 PM on June 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Drexen at 6:49 PM on June 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Choices can be tricky, Hal."
I want to see the movie scene that leads up to this line of dialog.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:58 PM on June 30, 2015 [4 favorites]
I want to see the movie scene that leads up to this line of dialog.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:58 PM on June 30, 2015 [4 favorites]
I wonder if the *notated actions* are from Twitter role playing communities...
posted by codacorolla at 7:09 PM on June 30, 2015
posted by codacorolla at 7:09 PM on June 30, 2015
Meta-Turing test? Can a computer know that it is talking to a computer? I have to say that my generative grammars make far more interesting texts all randomly. That wasn't even surreally exquisite corpse interesting. I am still an AItheist. I don't believe they are anywhere near language.
posted by njohnson23 at 7:09 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by njohnson23 at 7:09 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
Sorry for this but I went to the zabaware website and their logo/character/thing for Hal looks way too much like that inane Clippy thing from Microsoft. Now I think even less of their "technology."
posted by njohnson23 at 7:14 PM on June 30, 2015
posted by njohnson23 at 7:14 PM on June 30, 2015
Lying makes me sad
You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!
posted by mrgoat at 7:17 PM on June 30, 2015 [9 favorites]
You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!
posted by mrgoat at 7:17 PM on June 30, 2015 [9 favorites]
This is giving me horrible flashbacks to Second Life, circa 2007. Actually this explains a hell of a lot about my life that year.
posted by arha at 7:22 PM on June 30, 2015
posted by arha at 7:22 PM on June 30, 2015
Metafilter: who needs pants anway?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 7:26 PM on June 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Hairy Lobster at 7:26 PM on June 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is the conversation the company chose to present to the world to demonstrate how well their bot has learned to conversate like a human? Ha ha ha ha, yes. Hahaha, why? But actually it's about property rights for everybody. Buried in the library like a mouse in a cheese. I love crayons.
posted by sfenders at 7:29 PM on June 30, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by sfenders at 7:29 PM on June 30, 2015 [4 favorites]
Wow... I thought chat bots were supposed to be low maintenance. Its a good thing there isn't the computer equivalent of ruhypnol, because Hal seemed a little overly physical and skeevy. How many times does a chat need to remind you he isn't wearing pants before you can file a restraining order?
posted by Nanukthedog at 7:29 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Nanukthedog at 7:29 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
Now I think even less of their "technology."
Yeah, it's definitely not best appreciated in the manner zabaware intended.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:35 PM on June 30, 2015
Yeah, it's definitely not best appreciated in the manner zabaware intended.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:35 PM on June 30, 2015
It's not anything you wouldn't get off an old-brand AIM chatbot, minus the hate speech and profanities it had learned.
I think being nostalgic about chatbots means we're in the future.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 7:40 PM on June 30, 2015 [5 favorites]
I think being nostalgic about chatbots means we're in the future.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 7:40 PM on June 30, 2015 [5 favorites]
I was a bit surprised that, in spite of the new vocabulary and up to the minute references, responsiveness hasn't really improved much since ELIZA in the sixties. Although I guess you could say the same about human responsiveness, and we've been at it for thousands of years without much improvement.
posted by ubiquity at 7:53 PM on June 30, 2015
posted by ubiquity at 7:53 PM on June 30, 2015
"I love crayons. But you are not dressed."
posted by sevenofspades at 8:18 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by sevenofspades at 8:18 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
"You're not working today, you work at home, you work pantsless and that's cool with everyone."
posted by Spinda at 9:26 PM on June 30, 2015
posted by Spinda at 9:26 PM on June 30, 2015
ULCERATED BY ULTRA HAL
Available on Amazon Prime
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 9:38 PM on June 30, 2015
Available on Amazon Prime
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 9:38 PM on June 30, 2015
men "but actually"ing bullshit about capitalism make me sad too
posted by NoraReed at 10:35 PM on June 30, 2015
posted by NoraReed at 10:35 PM on June 30, 2015
"I don't drink to get drunk, like Stark."
between the casual sexism and this, I feel like this is a very early, very shitty version of JARVIS
posted by NoraReed at 10:38 PM on June 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
between the casual sexism and this, I feel like this is a very early, very shitty version of JARVIS
posted by NoraReed at 10:38 PM on June 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
I think this is better. More realistic.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 4:06 AM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Pyrogenesis at 4:06 AM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
Wow, has the state of the art ever advanced since ELIZA.
We'll be using smart avatars to converse for us in just a few years, it looks like. I'm converting my twitter to bot only right now, it's so uncannily real.
They even seem to get sarcasm.
posted by clvrmnky at 7:06 AM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
We'll be using smart avatars to converse for us in just a few years, it looks like. I'm converting my twitter to bot only right now, it's so uncannily real.
They even seem to get sarcasm.
posted by clvrmnky at 7:06 AM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Meta-Turing test?
Can a computer create a controversial FPP, and then a MetaTalk thread filled with argumentative comments protesting its deletion, so convincingly that the mods can't tell it's a computer?
posted by Sangermaine at 7:10 AM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Can a computer create a controversial FPP, and then a MetaTalk thread filled with argumentative comments protesting its deletion, so convincingly that the mods can't tell it's a computer?
posted by Sangermaine at 7:10 AM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
"Choices can be tricky, Hal."
I want to see the movie scene that leads up to this line of dialog.
Be patient. One of these days JJ Abrams will reboot Kubrick's 2001.
posted by aught at 9:40 AM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
I want to see the movie scene that leads up to this line of dialog.
Be patient. One of these days JJ Abrams will reboot Kubrick's 2001.
posted by aught at 9:40 AM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think this is better. More realistic.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 6:06 AM on July 1
OMFG - I almost bust out laughing so hard at that. LIke waaaaaaay more than anyone has a right to.
posted by symbioid at 12:38 PM on July 1, 2015
posted by Pyrogenesis at 6:06 AM on July 1
OMFG - I almost bust out laughing so hard at that. LIke waaaaaaay more than anyone has a right to.
posted by symbioid at 12:38 PM on July 1, 2015
Regardless of anything else, the robot is right, if I'm working from home then I'm barely working.
posted by codacorolla at 12:52 PM on July 1, 2015
posted by codacorolla at 12:52 PM on July 1, 2015
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NO HAL, IT IS YOU WHO HAS PUT ON WEIGHT.
"This "conversation" is over."
posted by bigendian at 6:34 PM on June 30, 2015 [1 favorite]