SNN: The Shitty News Network

July 17, 2015 4:53 PM

A website where headlines from news agencies around the world are randomly chained together by a robot.
posted by ilama (13 comments total)

Better headline smasher.
posted by demonic winged headgear at 4:58 PM on July 17, 2015 [6 favorites]

Can only be better than dumbass CNN.
posted by Artw at 5:17 PM on July 17, 2015 [3 favorites]

Headlines as run-on sentences, etc. No rhyme nor reason. Man this IS shitty.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 5:31 PM on July 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

See also:

1. Darius Kazemi's @TwoHeadlines ("Rumors: NBA Expected To Change Moore's Law Next Season")

2. Mefi's Own Brad "Brad Sucks" Turcotte's @Odd_Vice ("In the Style of Demons: Sleep Paralysis Is the Hot New Destination for Food Poisoning")
posted by cortex at 6:10 PM on July 17, 2015 [1 favorite]

I was also going to suggest Two Headlines. This shitty site could be a better kind of shitty. What a waste of shittiness.
posted by univac at 6:58 PM on July 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

This would be better with some kind of filtering. Reading funny headlines about Sandra Bland is just nasty.
posted by Umami Dearest at 7:22 PM on July 17, 2015

I don't know. You still get the gist, with its corona of doom, of what's going on in the world.
posted by batfish at 7:54 PM on July 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

Currently trending on Headline Smasher is "This Man’s Fart Was So Elaborate, It Required Police to Cut Cherry Tomatoes Into Summer Appetizers" and I am pretty much paralyzed with glee about this.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:35 PM on July 17, 2015 [5 favorites]

You still get the gist, with its corona of doom, of what's going on in the world.

this is my bleary pre-caffeine brain most mornings anyway, and it's been this way for decades. Or as a friend once put it, "Rest assured, dire shit is happening to decent people all over, and the rich keep getting richer, and some celebrity is revealed to be even more of an ass than previously suspected." (or words to that effect)
posted by philip-random at 9:42 PM on July 17, 2015 [3 favorites]

Any friend who uses "dire" in regular conversation is a friend worth keeping.
posted by notyou at 12:46 AM on July 18, 2015 [1 favorite]

I don't know. You still get the gist, with its corona of doom, of what's going on in the world.

Yes. And you get a glimpse of our glorious post-warming future, too. Viz: "TECHNOLOGY—Stick Is Now on Pre-sale at Amazon."
posted by Sonny Jim at 1:37 AM on July 18, 2015 [2 favorites]

Does Betteridge's Law apply to randomized headlines? Because I just saw Am i 1% cheese ? and would hate to be disappointed.
posted by ardgedee at 3:40 AM on July 18, 2015 [3 favorites]

Heh, dunno. A lot of them are shitty, in the sense they have no structure whatsoever:

On us tabloid newspaper publishes images of future monarch giving nazi salute norwegian mass killer admitted into university program.

Of drone pilots iran's supreme leader says nuke deal won't change policy on us christians, muslims pray together.

Pray together do spiders in europe have 2.4384 meters instead of 8 feet?

I love mashed up headlines, but this is just a very crappy job that maybe has one or two decent headlines right now. A more accurate description would be "what if we outsourced the news to a sweatshop composed by non-English speaking 10 year olds?"
posted by lmfsilva at 6:37 AM on July 18, 2015