hideous martha stewart vanity light fixture

August 30, 2015 3:05 PM

salad - healthy, right? or is it?
posted by griphus (33 comments total)

That was awesome.
posted by bunderful at 3:07 PM on August 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

*stands up, starts slowly clapping*
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:08 PM on August 30, 2015 [7 favorites]

Nothing is healthy. Everything is poison. Die eating. At Arby's.
posted by kafziel at 3:14 PM on August 30, 2015 [14 favorites]

Better not send this to my dad, he'll never eat another salad again. :(
posted by jenjenc at 3:20 PM on August 30, 2015 [3 favorites]

You can't have salad without dressing. Dressing is an 8 letter word. And dressing is available in 8oz bottles.

8 and 8

The eighth letter of the alphabet is 8, so 8-8 = H-H = a common abbreviation for Heil Hitler.

Forget the soup Nazi, it's the salad Nazi that's the real threat.
posted by mullacc at 3:23 PM on August 30, 2015 [13 favorites]

Anti-Semitism doesn't become OK just because you're trying to be funny by exaggerating it. Flagged as offensive.
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:34 PM on August 30, 2015

um, yes it does. see every comedian ever.
posted by mullacc at 3:41 PM on August 30, 2015 [4 favorites]

egpyt
posted by threeants at 3:51 PM on August 30, 2015 [7 favorites]

That's not anti-semitism, that's [a parody of] someone who's too caught up in their conspiracy theory to count the points on a star. Which is a thing I have seen done by people who were not kidding.
posted by echo target at 3:59 PM on August 30, 2015 [11 favorites]

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!
posted by mon-ma-tron at 4:07 PM on August 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

Mod note: OK, Joe in Australia, I know this is the issue that you care most about, and if this sort of thing is a problem for you in a thread you need to flag it and/or contact us, not derail the entire thread. Thanks.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 4:42 PM on August 30, 2015 [10 favorites]

The sad part is how dead-on accurate this is.
If it doesn't make you laugh and cry, you haven't spent enough time watching youtube conspiracy theory videos.
posted by Jack Karaoke at 4:51 PM on August 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

The real reason why you don't win friends with salad.
posted by Reyturner at 4:56 PM on August 30, 2015 [3 favorites]

*gasp*
posted by maggiemaggie at 5:00 PM on August 30, 2015

But wait! There is moar!
posted by harrietthespy at 5:09 PM on August 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

(hopefully) jokey yahoo answers

I have some terrible news.
posted by griphus at 5:10 PM on August 30, 2015 [2 favorites]

I was a bit worried that the linked article was headed into anti-semitism, but then it pulled away.

I used to enjoy conspiracy theory stuff a lot more before I realized that they pretty much all are no more than three steps removed from "the Jews did it."

Now, for the real take-down of salad, try Jeffrey Steingarten's "Salad: The Silent Killer" from The Man Who Ate Everything.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:17 PM on August 30, 2015 [2 favorites]

It would make more sense if Martha Stewart were NOT fading into 'last decade' trivia. You need a much more current Illuminati connection. Hmmm. It makes sense, Disney has been a Prime Suspect for a long time...
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:17 PM on August 30, 2015

egpyt
posted by en forme de poire at 5:22 PM on August 30, 2015 [3 favorites]

martha stewart egg pit
posted by Rock Steady at 5:41 PM on August 30, 2015 [2 favorites]

This is a great companion piece to that other salad post from last week.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:44 PM on August 30, 2015 [4 favorites]

I thought this was going to be about how I can't eat salad unless it's drenched in sugar sauce.
posted by bleep at 5:55 PM on August 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

Nostalgia is a liar, there is a reason...
posted by Oyéah at 6:58 PM on August 30, 2015

A friend of mine makes her own salad at home to bring to work for lunch. Now I'm wondering if she's connected to egpyt and has designs on Dallas. Should I warn them? Does this mean she's a part of Jade Helm?
posted by numaner at 8:13 PM on August 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

EGPYT
posted by mullacc at 9:38 PM on August 30, 2015 [1 favorite]

I used to enjoy conspiracy theory stuff a lot more before I realized that they pretty much all are no more than three steps removed from "the Jews did it."

We did though.

Well, I did. It was me. Whatever it was.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:31 PM on August 30, 2015 [3 favorites]

I have the two-lamp version of that exact same light fixture above the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. Am I in some sort of trouble?

On edit: Oh wait, I've got the polished chrome finish, not the satin (or is that SATAN?) nickel. Whew!
posted by Nerd of the North at 11:30 PM on August 30, 2015 [2 favorites]

harrietthespy: But wait! There is moar!

Oh, good.
*happily fills another plate*
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:45 AM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]

Made me laugh, so good! Salad is the Anti-Christ.
posted by mermayd at 5:53 AM on August 31, 2015

I'm seeing those women "laughing" alone with salad in a whole new light. Moar like evil mad scientist cackling as they plot to use HAARP to ensure more rain on lettuce fields.
posted by morganw at 7:17 AM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]

This marks a historic moment: the first time I've seen an internet meme via my stepdad before seeing it via MeFi. We were watching YouTube videos of almost exactly this last night. :)
posted by daisyk at 9:39 AM on August 31, 2015

I feel the need to mention that the videos were clearly parodic and my stepdad was in on the joke.
posted by daisyk at 9:39 AM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]

It seems remiss of the author to bring up both Egpyt and lettuce without saying a word about what the Ancient Egpytians knew about lettuce.

Either someone got to her or she's in on the conspiracy and revealing this to manipulate us in some way. Obviously this goes deeper than we can possibly imagine.
posted by Nerd of the North at 11:08 AM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]