ConspiraSea
August 31, 2015 6:32 PM Subscribe
Are you ready for the New Life and New Paradigm? Got $2278? If so, pack your bags and board the ConspiraSea Cruise, setting sail next January. Rub shoulders with anti-vaccine crusader Andrew Wakefield! Get up to speed on US politics with 2004 Libertarian presidential candidate Michael Badnarik! Hear Sharon Schloss explain how orgone energy can fight chemtrails, electromagnetic fields, and the California drought!
Complete list of topics:
GMOs, Monsanto, bee colony collapse, ecology, global warming, climate change, fracking, HIV, autism, big pharma, medical suppression, vaccinations, flouridation, political corruption, government corruption, forbidden archeology, forbidden religion, Federal Reserve, truth about money, World Bank, IRS, strawman, property title, admiralty law, martial law, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, JFK, cover-ups, September 11, Star Wars agenda, nuclear plants, chemtrails, HAARP, crop circles, IRS, MK-Ultra, Fukashima, NASA, NSA, Bilderbergs, sustainability, military industrial complex, pentagon, Waco, Malaysia 370, Pan Am 103, TWA 800, Gulf Oil Spill, Halliburton, Obama, Ruby Ridge, OK City, Vatican, New World Order, false flags, Montauk, privacy, surveillance, Area 51, Dulce, Project Rainbow, Nazi Bell, Vrill, U.S.S. Eldridge, Iron Mountain, psyops, population mangement, subliminal ads, Nibiru / Planet X, Cointel Pro, technology suppression, entity possession, electoral fraud, identity chips, 2nd amendment, and so much more.
Complete list of topics:
GMOs, Monsanto, bee colony collapse, ecology, global warming, climate change, fracking, HIV, autism, big pharma, medical suppression, vaccinations, flouridation, political corruption, government corruption, forbidden archeology, forbidden religion, Federal Reserve, truth about money, World Bank, IRS, strawman, property title, admiralty law, martial law, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, JFK, cover-ups, September 11, Star Wars agenda, nuclear plants, chemtrails, HAARP, crop circles, IRS, MK-Ultra, Fukashima, NASA, NSA, Bilderbergs, sustainability, military industrial complex, pentagon, Waco, Malaysia 370, Pan Am 103, TWA 800, Gulf Oil Spill, Halliburton, Obama, Ruby Ridge, OK City, Vatican, New World Order, false flags, Montauk, privacy, surveillance, Area 51, Dulce, Project Rainbow, Nazi Bell, Vrill, U.S.S. Eldridge, Iron Mountain, psyops, population mangement, subliminal ads, Nibiru / Planet X, Cointel Pro, technology suppression, entity possession, electoral fraud, identity chips, 2nd amendment, and so much more.
Well, if anything whatsoever goes wrong, there will be no shortage of likely candidates.
posted by clockzero at 6:35 PM on August 31, 2015 [15 favorites]
posted by clockzero at 6:35 PM on August 31, 2015 [15 favorites]
Also I want to crossreference the special guests at this with the ones at the Paradigm Symposium.
posted by griphus at 6:37 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by griphus at 6:37 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is second prize two of these cruises?
posted by rtha at 6:38 PM on August 31, 2015 [18 favorites]
posted by rtha at 6:38 PM on August 31, 2015 [18 favorites]
Are even these all conspiracy theories mutually compatible? Are they going to roll their eyes at each other for the duration of the cruise? I.e. will the "AIDS whistleblower" be able to take the "alien files" guy seriously?
posted by Harald74 at 6:40 PM on August 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by Harald74 at 6:40 PM on August 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
I'm guessing no WiFi.
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:41 PM on August 31, 2015 [45 favorites]
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:41 PM on August 31, 2015 [45 favorites]
Included FREE When You Register:
Aha moments as the truth is revealed
Spiritual experiences, rituals, and healing
Soft-served ice cream and authentic gelato
posted by theodolite at 6:42 PM on August 31, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 6:42 PM on August 31, 2015 [8 favorites]
Having to share a ship with people for whom these trips are the only way they have left to make a living.
I'd jump overboard.
posted by ocschwar at 6:42 PM on August 31, 2015
I'd jump overboard.
posted by ocschwar at 6:42 PM on August 31, 2015
From what I can tell, the "financial advisor" on the ship is one of these guys.
posted by escabeche at 6:44 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by escabeche at 6:44 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
What would be really weird is if the financial advisor was just a guy that recommended you buy low-fee index funds and diversity your portfolio
posted by theodolite at 6:46 PM on August 31, 2015 [25 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 6:46 PM on August 31, 2015 [25 favorites]
Are they going to roll their eyes at each other for the duration of the cruise?
Probably not loudly or publicly (at least until later) but yes. There is no chance every one of those people subscribes to everyone else's worldview.
posted by griphus at 6:46 PM on August 31, 2015
Probably not loudly or publicly (at least until later) but yes. There is no chance every one of those people subscribes to everyone else's worldview.
posted by griphus at 6:46 PM on August 31, 2015
wow that is a whole page of crazy white people
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [26 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [26 favorites]
I mean there's a non-zero chance of there being a mutiny on board and the ship being commandeered, sailed to international waters and declared a seastead independent of the US government. This is just one of the wonderful things that could happen when you concentrate and isolate this community.
posted by griphus at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by griphus at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [11 favorites]
Also that George Noory isn't there, when he's the only person I can think of who'd say "sure, OK" to every item on that list
posted by theodolite at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [6 favorites]
Wow, with so many TENTATIVE SPEAKERS they should surely end up with at least a few confirmed speakers.
posted by clockzero at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by clockzero at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
But wouldn't they be suspicious that any reason to get them all conveniently located in one place in the middle of nowhere to be a consp--oh, never mind.
posted by sourwookie at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [26 favorites]
posted by sourwookie at 6:49 PM on August 31, 2015 [26 favorites]
I mean there's a non-zero chance of there being a mutiny on board and the ship being commandeered, sailed to international waters and declared a seastead independent of the US government. This is just one of the wonderful things that could happen when you concentrate and isolate this community.
Yeah, but on the other hand, the sort of person who would go on a cruise like this probably doesn't get along real well with others.
posted by clockzero at 6:50 PM on August 31, 2015
Yeah, but on the other hand, the sort of person who would go on a cruise like this probably doesn't get along real well with others.
posted by clockzero at 6:50 PM on August 31, 2015
Have they done this before? Because this sounds like the kind of thing you only try to do once.
posted by dilaudid at 6:51 PM on August 31, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by dilaudid at 6:51 PM on August 31, 2015 [12 favorites]
Was I right not to title this "A supposedly safe vaccine I'll never take again", I felt it was a bit too much
posted by escabeche at 6:51 PM on August 31, 2015 [47 favorites]
posted by escabeche at 6:51 PM on August 31, 2015 [47 favorites]
Dear Ask Metafilter: if the prospect of freeing the planet of their presence causes me to begin a conspiracy to that end... do they win? Do I? Does everyone else? Confused, please help.
posted by Ryvar at 6:52 PM on August 31, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Ryvar at 6:52 PM on August 31, 2015 [6 favorites]
Needs 2 more things: Ted Nugent and an iceberg.
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:55 PM on August 31, 2015 [36 favorites]
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:55 PM on August 31, 2015 [36 favorites]
MPORTANT NOTE: This seminar-at-sea does not promote any particular religious beliefs or creeds. it is about developing our own inner knowing of truth.
Metafilter: It is abut developing our own inner knowing of the truth
posted by AugustWest at 6:55 PM on August 31, 2015 [10 favorites]
Metafilter: It is abut developing our own inner knowing of the truth
posted by AugustWest at 6:55 PM on August 31, 2015 [10 favorites]
They're going to check for weapons before letting people meet Wakefield, aren't they? If they weren't, it might almost be worth going.
posted by Anne Neville at 6:55 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Anne Neville at 6:55 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Are even these all conspiracy theories mutually compatible?
As long as THE MAN keeps trying to suppress THE TRUTH all of these conspiracy theorists will be... in the same boat.
posted by CarolynG at 6:55 PM on August 31, 2015 [12 favorites]
As long as THE MAN keeps trying to suppress THE TRUTH all of these conspiracy theorists will be... in the same boat.
posted by CarolynG at 6:55 PM on August 31, 2015 [12 favorites]
theodolite: "Also that George Noory isn't there, when he's the only person I can think of who'd say "sure, OK" to every item on that list"
Because George is all about being gracious to everyone, bless his heart...
posted by Samizdata at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2015
Because George is all about being gracious to everyone, bless his heart...
posted by Samizdata at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2015
Can you even imagine the dietary restrictions? Thank god I'm not working that galley.
posted by latkes at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by latkes at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2015 [14 favorites]
The plan is to sink the ship once all that crazy is in the middle of the sea, right? Not to go all conspiracy theory...
posted by axiom at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by axiom at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
CarolynG: "Are even these all conspiracy theories mutually compatible?
As long as THE MAN keeps trying to suppress THE TRUTH all of these conspiracy theorists will be... in the same boat."
Sooooo easy to take them out with a weaponized chemtrail...
posted by Samizdata at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2015
As long as THE MAN keeps trying to suppress THE TRUTH all of these conspiracy theorists will be... in the same boat."
Sooooo easy to take them out with a weaponized chemtrail...
posted by Samizdata at 6:58 PM on August 31, 2015
Quick, what's the nearest country that can deploy a u-boat, and how can we go to war with them by January?
posted by Clueless in Crocodilopolis at 7:00 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Clueless in Crocodilopolis at 7:00 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh, I like Sharon Schloss's blog, which posts lovely photos of perfectly normal sky almost every day, attributing the lack of chemtrails to orgone generators
posted by theodolite at 7:01 PM on August 31, 2015 [15 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 7:01 PM on August 31, 2015 [15 favorites]
Watch them hit an old, abandoned WWII nautical mine sometime around day 3.
No one will ever believe the accident report.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:01 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
No one will ever believe the accident report.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:01 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
Remember that episode of The Simpsons with the rocket to the sun?
That'd probably work with a cruise ship, too.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:02 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
That'd probably work with a cruise ship, too.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:02 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
people people all this talking of rockets and B Arks sinking ships when only one thing needs to be said
GET IN THE SEA
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:03 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
GET IN THE SEA
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:03 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
theodolite: "Oh, I like Sharon Schloss's blog, which posts lovely photos of perfectly normal sky almost every day, attributing the lack of chemtrails to orgone generators"
How did you miss out on mentioning her Etsy store? How can you protect yourself without orgonite and crystal orgone pyramids? Huh?
posted by Samizdata at 7:03 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
How did you miss out on mentioning her Etsy store? How can you protect yourself without orgonite and crystal orgone pyramids? Huh?
posted by Samizdata at 7:03 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
those pyramids are mostly broken why aren't they on regretsy
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:05 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:05 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
I just like that she seems basically pleased about how things are going, with the sky
posted by theodolite at 7:08 PM on August 31, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 7:08 PM on August 31, 2015 [14 favorites]
I see the Cabal has supressed any mention of NESARA, my own favorite. That's okay; they're used to being silenced. (Tho, given that only 29% of Republicans in the recent PPP poll believe Obama was born in the US, I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.)
posted by octobersurprise at 7:08 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by octobersurprise at 7:08 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Though not serviceable, I believe there is a U-Boat in Chicago.
The forbidden archeology symposium looks interesting. The roman temples around Palmyra for example.
posted by clavdivs at 7:09 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
The forbidden archeology symposium looks interesting. The roman temples around Palmyra for example.
posted by clavdivs at 7:09 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
...and once again the main power apparatus and consortium is left out.
posted by clavdivs at 7:10 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by clavdivs at 7:10 PM on August 31, 2015
Can you like rent an entire cruise ship? How do these and the national review and the jimmy buffett etc cruises work
posted by PinkMoose at 7:12 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by PinkMoose at 7:12 PM on August 31, 2015
flagged as offensive, where are all the conspiracies about the jews? we have worked so hard, so thanklessly, for over 5,000 years and this is what we get in return? overlooked by the world's foremost boatload of paranoid loser maniacs? may they grow like onions with their heads in the ground.
posted by poffin boffin at 7:13 PM on August 31, 2015 [41 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 7:13 PM on August 31, 2015 [41 favorites]
Can you like rent an entire cruise ship? How do these and the national review and the jimmy buffett etc cruises work
Basically yes. You charter X number of cabins and sell tickets. Sometimes X will be the full capacity of the ship, a lot of the time not.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:15 PM on August 31, 2015
Basically yes. You charter X number of cabins and sell tickets. Sometimes X will be the full capacity of the ship, a lot of the time not.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:15 PM on August 31, 2015
Can you like rent an entire cruise ship?
You collect enough orgone and they'll let you rent anything you want.
posted by griphus at 7:16 PM on August 31, 2015 [11 favorites]
You collect enough orgone and they'll let you rent anything you want.
posted by griphus at 7:16 PM on August 31, 2015 [11 favorites]
And don't forget the Jonathan Coulton cruise, which this will generate only slightly fewer laughs than.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:17 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:17 PM on August 31, 2015
world's foremost boatload of paranoid loser maniacs
You're thinking of RaHoCru
posted by griphus at 7:17 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
You're thinking of RaHoCru
posted by griphus at 7:17 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
These people are crazy.
I want to start a Kickstarter to get a ticket for the Amazing Randi.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 7:17 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
I want to start a Kickstarter to get a ticket for the Amazing Randi.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 7:17 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
i want the amazing randi to be ziplined onto the cruise ship in the dead of night by an unmarked black helicopter
posted by poffin boffin at 7:18 PM on August 31, 2015 [21 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 7:18 PM on August 31, 2015 [21 favorites]
@griphus' link to the Paradigm Symposium: Don't tell Jessamyn there's a Jessalyn.
posted by snortasprocket at 7:19 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by snortasprocket at 7:19 PM on August 31, 2015
The forbidden archaeology guy is still mad the docent wouldn't let him touch it
posted by theodolite at 7:20 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by theodolite at 7:20 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
wow
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:20 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:20 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
sort of person who would go on a cruise like this probably doesn't get along real well with others.
I dunno, I went to a Mysterious Universe meetup (a bit of a different scene, admittedly) and everyone was really cool and nice.
posted by griphus at 7:22 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
I dunno, I went to a Mysterious Universe meetup (a bit of a different scene, admittedly) and everyone was really cool and nice.
posted by griphus at 7:22 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Cocaine? This stuff is all from distilled water, or rainwater, and pure-grain alcohol.
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:23 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:23 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
this NESARA stuff is the gift that keeps on giving
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:23 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:23 PM on August 31, 2015
I'm looking forward to the forbidden flavours panel: Blue Raspberry Isn't What You Think
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 7:23 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 7:23 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Wow. So this is what a real life Ship of Fools looks like.
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 7:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
Rub shoulders with anti-vaccine crusader Andrew Wakefield!
But not too near a railing--whoops, must've hit a wave.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
But not too near a railing--whoops, must've hit a wave.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
Are even these all conspiracy theories mutually compatible? Are they going to roll their eyes at each other for the duration of the cruise? I.e. will the "AIDS whistleblower" be able to take the "alien files" guy seriously?
I guess you haven't spent much time around people with this kind of worldview. They don't accept or reject theories based on evidence, or build narratives from mutually compatible facts and opinions. Emotionally compelling "theories" get put in the box and pulled out for reference as the situation calls.
posted by 3urypteris at 7:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
I guess you haven't spent much time around people with this kind of worldview. They don't accept or reject theories based on evidence, or build narratives from mutually compatible facts and opinions. Emotionally compelling "theories" get put in the box and pulled out for reference as the situation calls.
posted by 3urypteris at 7:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
PinkMoose: "Can you like rent an entire cruise ship? How do these and the national review and the jimmy buffett etc cruises work"
yes. a few years ago, I heard about the 70000TONS of Metal, which I thought would be pretty damn awesome.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 7:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
yes. a few years ago, I heard about the 70000TONS of Metal, which I thought would be pretty damn awesome.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 7:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
b1tr0t: "
Except the Man wants you smoking weed because, between the standard weed effects and the secret mind control chemicals they lace it with, it effectively neutralizes the threat from said conspiracy kids. As well as making them ineffective due to obesity.
Why in the hell do you think they are "reluctantly" legalizing it??
posted by Samizdata at 7:28 PM on August 31, 2015
I dunno, I went to a Mysterious Universe meetup (a bit of a different scene, admittedly) and everyone was really cool and nice.You can tell the cool conspiracy kids because they schedule their meetups where copious amounts of weed can be smoked before and after."
Except the Man wants you smoking weed because, between the standard weed effects and the secret mind control chemicals they lace it with, it effectively neutralizes the threat from said conspiracy kids. As well as making them ineffective due to obesity.
Why in the hell do you think they are "reluctantly" legalizing it??
posted by Samizdata at 7:28 PM on August 31, 2015
Count me in! I would love to spend some time with Andrew Wakefield whilst under maritime law.
posted by sleepy psychonaut at 7:28 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by sleepy psychonaut at 7:28 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
It's only under maritime law if the ship flies a fringed flag so be careful and/or bring a fringed flag.
posted by griphus at 7:30 PM on August 31, 2015 [24 favorites]
posted by griphus at 7:30 PM on August 31, 2015 [24 favorites]
Learning about the Constitution from a former Libertarian presidential candidate costs extra:
Constitution Class in six sessions. Sessions one and two are mandatory (ie. participants may quit anytime, but they may not attend later sessions if they miss one and two.)
$150 or four ounces of silver.
posted by weebil at 7:30 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
Constitution Class in six sessions. Sessions one and two are mandatory (ie. participants may quit anytime, but they may not attend later sessions if they miss one and two.)
$150 or four ounces of silver.
posted by weebil at 7:30 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
anyone who's played Steve Jackson's Illuminati could tell you that this will never work, because of how the fanatic alignment is its own opposite.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:30 PM on August 31, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:30 PM on August 31, 2015 [7 favorites]
The shadowy government agency with the black helicopters... they also have submarines, right? With torpedoes?
Please let them have torpedoes.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 7:30 PM on August 31, 2015
Please let them have torpedoes.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 7:30 PM on August 31, 2015
crap. the strike through failed my search (on an iPad). still, expected more.
good show, fffm.
posted by daq at 7:36 PM on August 31, 2015
good show, fffm.
posted by daq at 7:36 PM on August 31, 2015
Hey, fffm - I think we found our Friday night movie for this week.
posted by nickmark at 7:41 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by nickmark at 7:41 PM on August 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
So many of the topics on hand are deadly serious topics, or at least worth discussing (climate change, surveillance, fracking, etc.) but they get put on the same pedestal as chemtrails and Bohemian Grove simply because they fit an emotionally engaging story of US LITTLE GUYS knowing SECRET SECRETS that the BIG BAD SCARY keeps the SHEEPLE ALL AROUND US from knowing. So just focus on feeling scared and superior and JOIN US and push away the SHEEPLE in your life and something something BIG BAD SCARY goes away... or something.
It's fucking infuriating trying to talk about climate change and structural economic problems with people like this, getting some semblance of a discussion going, only to out of the blue be informed that "the Queen of England is secretly in charge of the Federal Reserve and I know because my cousin told me."
posted by 3urypteris at 7:42 PM on August 31, 2015 [7 favorites]
It's fucking infuriating trying to talk about climate change and structural economic problems with people like this, getting some semblance of a discussion going, only to out of the blue be informed that "the Queen of England is secretly in charge of the Federal Reserve and I know because my cousin told me."
posted by 3urypteris at 7:42 PM on August 31, 2015 [7 favorites]
Well 3urypteris, that's exactly the reason the CIA invented all these conspiracy theories in the 1950s.
posted by dilaudid at 7:44 PM on August 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by dilaudid at 7:44 PM on August 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
Mexico? Bermuda Triangle or it's not a true Conspiracy Cruse.
posted by sammyo at 7:52 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by sammyo at 7:52 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
I want to go on this cruise with two indentically dressed friends, we wear black suits, black gloves, and black sunglasses. One of us is always carrying a metal briefcase. We don't speak to anyone and occasionally make obscure symbols in notebooks.
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 PM on August 31, 2015 [24 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 PM on August 31, 2015 [24 favorites]
Will there be a workshop on tin foil hat design and construction? A fashion show?
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 8:06 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 8:06 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Paranoid fashion show, you see everything but no one sees you
posted by The Whelk at 8:09 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 8:09 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
I got lost looking for a school district's offices, and when I came upon the airfield full of black helicopters, I executed the fastest u-turn ever. That is definitely a thing. I was on a rented cruise ship once, Saab rented The Sovereign of the Seas, and only half filled it. Lots of drinks and desserts.
Take comfort in knowing while they are even more out there on the ship, the powers that be will upgrade the surveillance on their cars, and in their homes and neighborhoods.
The speakers "on hold" still haven't explained away their Ashley Madison membership with sufficient gifts and extras, they will make it for this wild monkey sexcapade, if human, or inhumanly, or unhumanly, possible.
posted by Oyéah at 8:11 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Take comfort in knowing while they are even more out there on the ship, the powers that be will upgrade the surveillance on their cars, and in their homes and neighborhoods.
The speakers "on hold" still haven't explained away their Ashley Madison membership with sufficient gifts and extras, they will make it for this wild monkey sexcapade, if human, or inhumanly, or unhumanly, possible.
posted by Oyéah at 8:11 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
I want to go on this cruise with a head full of acid, a bottle of Wild Turkey, a rainbow collection of pharmaceuticals, and a hunk of hash the size of my fist...
posted by Windopaene at 8:11 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Windopaene at 8:11 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Norovirus, here is your chance to shine.
posted by benzenedream at 8:29 PM on August 31, 2015 [35 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 8:29 PM on August 31, 2015 [35 favorites]
I hang out on the cruise boards when it's slow at work. I can only imagine the dismay and horror at the poor people that didn't sign up for this ship of fools.
Maybe I better drop in there and let them know what's coming?
posted by fiercekitten at 8:31 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Maybe I better drop in there and let them know what's coming?
posted by fiercekitten at 8:31 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
I don't believe this is actually happening. I believe this is a hoax to goad certain people into...
wait, I'm forming a conspiracy theory about the conspiracy cruise.
posted by teponaztli at 8:36 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
wait, I'm forming a conspiracy theory about the conspiracy cruise.
posted by teponaztli at 8:36 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Constitution Class in six sessions.
In a feat of epic trolling, this is actually 6 sessions on NCC 1701 and her sister ships.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:42 PM on August 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
In a feat of epic trolling, this is actually 6 sessions on NCC 1701 and her sister ships.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:42 PM on August 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
In a feat of epic trolling, this is actually 6 sessions on NCC 1701 and her sister ships.
Trek and magic sex closets? Where do I sign?
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:44 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Trek and magic sex closets? Where do I sign?
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:44 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Wait until they find out what we're doing to the soil.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:51 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Sys Rq at 8:51 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
I would go on this if it were Dan Aykroyd reprising his role as Mother from Sneakers and just delivering deadpan conspiracy joke after deadpan conspiracy joke. Otherwise no way.
posted by Existential Dread at 8:56 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by Existential Dread at 8:56 PM on August 31, 2015
i would go on this and wear a very very slightly visible earpiece and large ugly brooch and answer everyone's questions with a short but noticeable delay
when they confront me about my SPY DEVICES i will show them that the earpiece is a bluetooth headphone and the ugly brooch is an mp3 player with nothing on it but ABBA Gold
posted by poffin boffin at 9:14 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
when they confront me about my SPY DEVICES i will show them that the earpiece is a bluetooth headphone and the ugly brooch is an mp3 player with nothing on it but ABBA Gold
posted by poffin boffin at 9:14 PM on August 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Sys Rq: What until they find out what we're doing to the soil.
Au contraire! The orgonites have it beat!
From the link to Sharon Schloss's blog that theodolite posted:
According to electrical engineer Ken Rohla, the orgonite creates a scalar wave vortex which sends the heavy metals up into space. [...] From the re-greening of parts of Southern California during the last rainy season, it does not appear that the particulates are polluting the soil. I have not done a soil sample myself, but soil samples are a poor choice for testing for metals, since they naturally appear in the Earth’s crust. Water samples are far more accurate. A local Los Angeles resident that I know took a rain sample to a lab in May 2013, which revealed no excessive heavy metals, to my surprise! Now that I know more about orgone energy, I see that if it managed to rain in May of 2013, the only way that could have happened is through orgone energy, whether from orgone devices or the Earth’s own energy, most likely the former. The year 2013 is documented on this blog. The chemtrail spraying was continuous and almost daily, with at least half of the days in each month completely whited out.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Au contraire! The orgonites have it beat!
From the link to Sharon Schloss's blog that theodolite posted:
According to electrical engineer Ken Rohla, the orgonite creates a scalar wave vortex which sends the heavy metals up into space. [...] From the re-greening of parts of Southern California during the last rainy season, it does not appear that the particulates are polluting the soil. I have not done a soil sample myself, but soil samples are a poor choice for testing for metals, since they naturally appear in the Earth’s crust. Water samples are far more accurate. A local Los Angeles resident that I know took a rain sample to a lab in May 2013, which revealed no excessive heavy metals, to my surprise! Now that I know more about orgone energy, I see that if it managed to rain in May of 2013, the only way that could have happened is through orgone energy, whether from orgone devices or the Earth’s own energy, most likely the former. The year 2013 is documented on this blog. The chemtrail spraying was continuous and almost daily, with at least half of the days in each month completely whited out.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:24 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
If you can't swing the cruise, the orgon link says there'll also be a chem-trail convention at the Holiday Inn LAX.
posted by hwyengr at 9:28 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by hwyengr at 9:28 PM on August 31, 2015
It would be so awesome to be a billionnaire and just troll the everlasting fuck out of these people. Hire half a dozen helicopters and buzz the ship at unpredictable intervals.
Or do skywriting
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:28 PM on August 31, 2015
Or do skywriting
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:28 PM on August 31, 2015
super trouper chemtrails are gonna blind me
but i wont feel blue
like i always do
cause somewhere in the cloud there's you
posted by poffin boffin at 9:29 PM on August 31, 2015 [7 favorites]
but i wont feel blue
like i always do
cause somewhere in the cloud there's you
posted by poffin boffin at 9:29 PM on August 31, 2015 [7 favorites]
my my at waterloo napoleon did surrender
OR DID HE
posted by poffin boffin at 9:31 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
OR DID HE
posted by poffin boffin at 9:31 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
I want to read the fantasy trilogy that NESARA thing came from. I'll bet it's hilarious.
posted by irisclara at 9:31 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by irisclara at 9:31 PM on August 31, 2015
I want to go on this cruise with a head full of acid, a bottle of Wild Turkey, a rainbow collection of pharmaceuticals, and a hunk of hash the size of my fist...
...and yet you'd still be more coherent than the speakers.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:33 PM on August 31, 2015
...and yet you'd still be more coherent than the speakers.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:33 PM on August 31, 2015
there was something in the air that night the SARS was bright fernando
posted by poffin boffin at 9:34 PM on August 31, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 9:34 PM on August 31, 2015 [9 favorites]
The plan is to sink the ship once all that crazy is in the middle of the sea, right? Not to go all conspiracy theory...
That'd be a perfect time to market my homeopathic drowning cure!
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:45 PM on August 31, 2015 [7 favorites]
That'd be a perfect time to market my homeopathic drowning cure!
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:45 PM on August 31, 2015 [7 favorites]
From the list of TENTATIVE speakers:
Dr. Dream
Humanitarian
Holistic Healer
What, was Tor Eckman busy or something?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:45 PM on August 31, 2015
Dr. Dream
Humanitarian
Holistic Healer
What, was Tor Eckman busy or something?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:45 PM on August 31, 2015
I would go on this if it were Dan Aykroyd reprising his role as Mother from Sneakersbasically just being Dan Aykroyd and just delivering deadpan conspiracy joke after deadpan conspiracy joke.
That's supposedly the joke behind Mother--it's really just Aykroyd riffing on stuff he fully or at least to some degree believes.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:20 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
That's supposedly the joke behind Mother--it's really just Aykroyd riffing on stuff he fully or at least to some degree believes.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:20 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'm guessing no WiFi.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:41 PM on August 31
Internet Center: Yes; Wi-Fi also on board for laptop users
Uh oh.
But seriously, I think I just figured the meta conspiracy out:
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:41 PM on August 31
Internet Center: Yes; Wi-Fi also on board for laptop users
Uh oh.
But seriously, I think I just figured the meta conspiracy out:
Sail the Magnificent Mexican Riviera and Awaken to the Truth that Sets Us Freeposted by mcrandello at 10:47 PM on August 31, 2015 [6 favorites]
During our 7-Night Holistic "Conspira-Sea Cruise"
January 24 to 31, 2016
From Los Angeles to the Pacific Coast of Mexico.
On March 24, 2015, it was confirmed the series would return as a six-episode event series with the return of series creator Chris Carter and lead actors David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. It will premiere on January 24, 2016.
where are all the conspiracies about the jews?
Well, from escabeche's link about the Redemption Movement:
Besides this, there's the New World Order kooks (who are often the same people). One of their foundational documents is often the anti-Semitic forgery, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. This is probably covered under "political corruption, government corruption, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, New World Order, false flags".
posted by Joe in Australia at 10:59 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
Well, from escabeche's link about the Redemption Movement:
The theory is, in part, that for every citizen's birth certificate issued in the U.S. since the 1936 Social Security Act, the government deposits $630,000 in a hidden bank account linked to the newborn American and administered by a Jewish cabal.There are lots of these conspiracy theories about money that boil down to "the Jews stole all the money". Even ones that aren't explicitly about "the Jews" are frequently promoted by old-style or neo-Nazis and other anti-Semites, and I suspect that it really is an element of their beliefs, they're just not keeping it front-and-center. On the list of topics, therefore, you'd expect Jews to be covered under "Federal Reserve, truth about money, World Bank, IRS, strawman, property title, admiralty law". Maybe "forbidden religion" too.
Besides this, there's the New World Order kooks (who are often the same people). One of their foundational documents is often the anti-Semitic forgery, The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. This is probably covered under "political corruption, government corruption, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, New World Order, false flags".
posted by Joe in Australia at 10:59 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
I like Sharon Schloss's blog, which posts lovely photos of perfectly normal sky almost every day, attributing the lack of chemtrails to orgone generators
keeps the tigers away too
posted by atoxyl at 11:06 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
keeps the tigers away too
posted by atoxyl at 11:06 PM on August 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Skull and Bones
Anti-skeleton extremists?
Are they just mumbling puddles of flesh, having long ago ejected their bony adversaries from their bodies?
Do they live in fear of the skeleton war?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 11:10 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Anti-skeleton extremists?
Are they just mumbling puddles of flesh, having long ago ejected their bony adversaries from their bodies?
Do they live in fear of the skeleton war?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 11:10 PM on August 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Undergraduate student society at Yale University. Both President Bushes were members. It's not particularly Jewish (didn't admit Jews until 1938), yet somehow ... Illuminati, New World Order, Jews.
posted by Joe in Australia at 11:28 PM on August 31, 2015
posted by Joe in Australia at 11:28 PM on August 31, 2015
There is no chance every one of those people subscribes to everyone else's worldview.
Please, remember your Ghostbusters:
Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
posted by bryon at 11:46 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
Please, remember your Ghostbusters:
Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
posted by bryon at 11:46 PM on August 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
I think bryon's close to hitting the nail on the head here.
But my own earlier comment made me think of the setting of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where basically every paranormal phenomenon is real. Except leprechauns.
posted by Harald74 at 11:49 PM on August 31, 2015
But my own earlier comment made me think of the setting of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where basically every paranormal phenomenon is real. Except leprechauns.
posted by Harald74 at 11:49 PM on August 31, 2015
I'll go, but only if no one makes fun of me for believing in the crumple-horned snorkack
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:05 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:05 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
All this, and no topics on Jade Helm? Or has this ship already ...sailed?
posted by seawallrunner at 12:23 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by seawallrunner at 12:23 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I want to go on this cruise with two indentically dressed friends, we wear black suits, black gloves, and black sunglasses. One of us is always carrying a metal briefcase. We don't speak to anyone and occasionally make obscure symbols in notebooks.We should all try and crowd fund a spot for Michael Cerveris on the passenger manifest.
posted by Sonny Jim at 12:26 AM on September 1, 2015
One well-placed torpedo and we could raise the planet's average IQ by ten points.
posted by Paul Slade at 12:46 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Paul Slade at 12:46 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is a ruse! Ruse, I tell you! When the ship reaches international waters, the captain will engage the Platform Mode and, together with the cruise organiser, will declare the ship an independent nation of its own. Instant micronation utopia! In one glorious sweeping move, they will reveal the Conspiracoin mining servers in the hold to the spellbound citizens. Backed, as all cryptocurrencies are, by comedy gold. (Insert pic of the captain proudly displaying the hermetically sealed vault of mint-condition copies of MAD Magazine) And everyone gets their own first class cabin and are free to pursue the highest reaches of capitalism without government meddling! Or customers.
(Sorry, coffee hasn't sunk in yet.)
posted by wwwwolf at 1:03 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
(Sorry, coffee hasn't sunk in yet.)
posted by wwwwolf at 1:03 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
On the list of topics, therefore, you'd expect Jews to be covered under "Federal Reserve, truth about money, World Bank, IRS, strawman, property title, admiralty law". Maybe "forbidden religion" too.
I wouldn't be entirely surprised to find that their theories about 9/11 involve "the Jews" at some point, either. OTOH, strawman doesn't appear to be directly related to Judaism. So you've got that going for you.
posted by Pink Frost at 1:49 AM on September 1, 2015
I wouldn't be entirely surprised to find that their theories about 9/11 involve "the Jews" at some point, either. OTOH, strawman doesn't appear to be directly related to Judaism. So you've got that going for you.
posted by Pink Frost at 1:49 AM on September 1, 2015
YOU GUYS AREN'T TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY!
WAKE UP SEAPLE!
posted by chavenet at 2:28 AM on September 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
WAKE UP SEAPLE!
posted by chavenet at 2:28 AM on September 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
Jon Ronson's gonna get at least half a dozen articles and couple of books out of this.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:00 AM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:00 AM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
Probably not loudly or publicly (at least until later) but yes. There is no chance every one of those people subscribes to everyone else's worldview.
So you're saying that David Icke is not going then?
posted by acb at 3:47 AM on September 1, 2015
No Agenda 21? But that's my favorite. I want to hear all about how Obama and the UN are plotting to kidnap suburbanites and force them to live in urban housing blocks without a car.
posted by octothorpe at 4:05 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by octothorpe at 4:05 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Had I the cash and the week of freedom, I'd 100% want to do this. Sure, some alcohol would be required (plus a few visits to the fistfull of hash cabin), but stuff like this is totally in my wheelhouse. I make conspiracy/ufo tinged art, did the twisty turny trek up through Maine to visit Wilhelm Reich's Orgonon this summer (me on his tomb with cloudbuster), am looking forward to this weekend's Exeter UFO Festival (seriously, $10 bucks for Actual Speakers rather than Tentative seems like a bargain), am a Plus member for Mysterious Universe, etc etc etc.
My main concern, though, would be Finding My People. There is a huge streak of nastiness going through the conspiracy world - antisemitism/homophobia/racism being the unholy trinity. I wouldn't want to spend the cruise hanging with some folks only to find out after a day or two that they are secretly dicks - Mankow followers or false-flag everything deniers being the worst. I've seen these folks blossom like a cancer over the past decade or so, worming their way into otherwise love and light laden New Agey groups (Educate Yourself used to be my one stop shop for stories about dudes chucking "orgonite" at cellphone to fight the Death Rays or whatever, but then it turned into red circle false-flag paranoia). It's to the point that I'm starting to collect older books on aliens and other weirdness (Space Brothers over Demonic Liberal Government any day!) just to get my fix without worrying about stumbling into some ick.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:02 AM on September 1, 2015 [7 favorites]
My main concern, though, would be Finding My People. There is a huge streak of nastiness going through the conspiracy world - antisemitism/homophobia/racism being the unholy trinity. I wouldn't want to spend the cruise hanging with some folks only to find out after a day or two that they are secretly dicks - Mankow followers or false-flag everything deniers being the worst. I've seen these folks blossom like a cancer over the past decade or so, worming their way into otherwise love and light laden New Agey groups (Educate Yourself used to be my one stop shop for stories about dudes chucking "orgonite" at cellphone to fight the Death Rays or whatever, but then it turned into red circle false-flag paranoia). It's to the point that I'm starting to collect older books on aliens and other weirdness (Space Brothers over Demonic Liberal Government any day!) just to get my fix without worrying about stumbling into some ick.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:02 AM on September 1, 2015 [7 favorites]
One well-placed torpedo and we could raise the planet's average IQ by ten points.
If anything happens to this ship, the resulting conspiracy theory will have a psychic weight such that a conspiratorial singularity will form, dooming the planet.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:12 AM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
If anything happens to this ship, the resulting conspiracy theory will have a psychic weight such that a conspiratorial singularity will form, dooming the planet.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:12 AM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
Couldn't read the website; the "Tentative Speakers" thing killed me dead
posted by runincircles at 5:22 AM on September 1, 2015
posted by runincircles at 5:22 AM on September 1, 2015
homeopathic drowning cure!
Seawater 1000X, insufflated. Maximum strength.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:49 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Seawater 1000X, insufflated. Maximum strength.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:49 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
My main concern, though, would be Finding My People. There is a huge streak of nastiness going through the conspiracy world - antisemitism/homophobia/racism being the unholy trinity. I wouldn't want to spend the cruise hanging with some folks only to find out after a day or two that they are secretly dicks - Mankow followers or false-flag everything deniers being the worst.
I wonder what the Happy Mutants/Dumb Mean Hicks ratio of the cruise will be.
posted by acb at 5:49 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I wonder what the Happy Mutants/Dumb Mean Hicks ratio of the cruise will be.
posted by acb at 5:49 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I want to go on this cruise with two indentically dressed friends, we wear black suits, black gloves, and black sunglasses. One of us is always carrying a metal briefcase. We don't speak to anyone and occasionally make obscure symbols in notebooks.I'm now wondering how the organizers would react if a crowd-funded gatecrashing raised more money than the actual cruise. Also how entertaining it'd be watching everyone try to figure out if any given attendee is a mole or legitimate kook.
posted by adamsc at 5:50 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Well, I would be wearing a 'Legitimate Kook' t-shirt, for one.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:53 AM on September 1, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:53 AM on September 1, 2015 [7 favorites]
It's to the point that I'm starting to collect older books on aliens and other weirdness (Space Brothers over Demonic Liberal Government any day!) just to get my fix without worrying about stumbling into some ick.Absolutely. It reminds me of something someone said on one of the recent X Files threads about the difference between '90s conspiracism and what's happened to the field subsequently. Back in the '90s and before, UFOs and cryptozoology could seem innocent, even apolitical, but now those things almost always seems to be bound up with some pretty unpleasant and retrograde cultural and racial politics. It's got the point where I didn't even want to dig too deep into the Reddit missing persons/scary trees/"search and rescue" malarkey that got posted a couple of days ago in fear of coming across some kind of genuine militia-type/Aryan nationalism paranoia lurking beneath the fictional narrative. I can't work out if it's always been this way and I was just too naive to perceive the dog whistles when I was a teenager consuming this stuff 20 years ago, or if something has definitely changed post 9/11. In which case: damn you, Osama and right-wing libertarianism: you've ruined bigfoot for me!
posted by Sonny Jim at 5:55 AM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
Special Shore Excursion: UNESCO World Heritage Site
Yeah, I'm sure there will be a lot of takers for an excursion to a UN internment camp.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:56 AM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
Yeah, I'm sure there will be a lot of takers for an excursion to a UN internment camp.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:56 AM on September 1, 2015 [4 favorites]
I would go on this if it were Dan Aykroyd reprising his role as Mother from Sneakers and just delivering deadpan conspiracy joke after deadpan conspiracy joke.
I would go on this for Richard Belzer's "Lunch with Munch."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:01 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
I would go on this for Richard Belzer's "Lunch with Munch."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:01 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Absolutely. It reminds me of something someone said on one of the recent X Files threads about the difference between '90s conspiracism and what's happened to the field subsequently.
Absolutely. My rule of thumb for collecting is that the book has to be published pre-Behold a Pale Horse which I think signaled the shift from Vallée/Keel/Fort "let me tell you about this weird stuff that happened" style conspiracy theories of the 80s and earlier to the apocalyptic millennial paranoia of the late 90s before it turned mainstream malignant after 9/11. It would be interesting to chart this progression ohshittheyjustaddedmeto theTentativeSpeakersList.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:03 AM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
Absolutely. My rule of thumb for collecting is that the book has to be published pre-Behold a Pale Horse which I think signaled the shift from Vallée/Keel/Fort "let me tell you about this weird stuff that happened" style conspiracy theories of the 80s and earlier to the apocalyptic millennial paranoia of the late 90s before it turned mainstream malignant after 9/11. It would be interesting to chart this progression ohshittheyjustaddedmeto theTentativeSpeakersList.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:03 AM on September 1, 2015 [5 favorites]
So, when they sign up for this, do they have to disclose their physical address as well as their mailing address? Are they required to provide their birth certificate to attend or is a certificate of live birth sufficient? Is the ship's water supply fluoridated? Do you have to go through a full body scan and have your bags searched in order to getj on the ship? Is the ship inspected and up to international code regulations, or is this a potential libertarian paradise where they are letting the market determine if the ship is actually safe? Is there a first aid station or clinic on board and what are they allowed to use for guests? Are guests encouraged to inspect the air vents for sedatives and mind control gasses? If someone gets sick, do they quarantine off the anti-vaxers? Am I allowed to sell vaccines on board in the event that there is some sort of an outbreak? If they travel to international waters, do we have to let them back in, or can we consider the anti-vaxers a threat to public health?
This cruise just leaves me with more and more questions that even the most detailed FAQ will fail to answer.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:12 AM on September 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
This cruise just leaves me with more and more questions that even the most detailed FAQ will fail to answer.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:12 AM on September 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
My God, you're right. The potential health and safety, risk assessment, and liability issues are endless and should ensure that the cruise never takes place at all. Which will be the real conspiracy.
posted by Sonny Jim at 6:21 AM on September 1, 2015
posted by Sonny Jim at 6:21 AM on September 1, 2015
Complete list of topics:
GMOs, Monsanto, bee colony collapse, ecology, global warming, climate change, fracking, HIV, autism, big pharma, medical suppression, vaccinations, flouridation, political corruption, government corruption, forbidden archeology, forbidden religion, Federal Reserve, truth about money, World Bank, IRS, strawman, property title, admiralty law, martial law, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, JFK, cover-ups, September 11, Star Wars agenda, nuclear plants, chemtrails, HAARP, crop circles, IRS, MK-Ultra, Fukashima, NASA, NSA, Bilderbergs, sustainability, military industrial complex, pentagon, Waco, Malaysia 370, Pan Am 103, TWA 800, Gulf Oil Spill, Halliburton, Obama, Ruby Ridge, OK City, Vatican, New World Order, false flags, Montauk, privacy, surveillance, Area 51, Dulce, Project Rainbow, Nazi Bell, Vrill, U.S.S. Eldridge, Iron Mountain, psyops, population mangement, subliminal ads, Nibiru / Planet X, Cointel Pro, technology suppression, entity possession, electoral fraud, identity chips, 2nd amendment, and so much more.
Alright. I'm starting to hear this in my head - sung by Billy Joel as alternate lyrics to We Didn't Start the Fire.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:54 AM on September 1, 2015 [8 favorites]
GMOs, Monsanto, bee colony collapse, ecology, global warming, climate change, fracking, HIV, autism, big pharma, medical suppression, vaccinations, flouridation, political corruption, government corruption, forbidden archeology, forbidden religion, Federal Reserve, truth about money, World Bank, IRS, strawman, property title, admiralty law, martial law, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones, JFK, cover-ups, September 11, Star Wars agenda, nuclear plants, chemtrails, HAARP, crop circles, IRS, MK-Ultra, Fukashima, NASA, NSA, Bilderbergs, sustainability, military industrial complex, pentagon, Waco, Malaysia 370, Pan Am 103, TWA 800, Gulf Oil Spill, Halliburton, Obama, Ruby Ridge, OK City, Vatican, New World Order, false flags, Montauk, privacy, surveillance, Area 51, Dulce, Project Rainbow, Nazi Bell, Vrill, U.S.S. Eldridge, Iron Mountain, psyops, population mangement, subliminal ads, Nibiru / Planet X, Cointel Pro, technology suppression, entity possession, electoral fraud, identity chips, 2nd amendment, and so much more.
Alright. I'm starting to hear this in my head - sung by Billy Joel as alternate lyrics to We Didn't Start the Fire.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:54 AM on September 1, 2015 [8 favorites]
Oddly, plenty of people with perfectly respectable IQ scores believe in 1 or more of these. People need belief systems, and some people seem to need conspiracies. I believe the Koch brothers and their GOP cronies are conspiring to run the United States Congress, so I can understand.
But any self-respecting conspiracy theorist would immediately recognize that even enquiring about this cruise gives some bad guys access to your identity, so, seriously, the only people who will go are lightweights.
But I'd kind of like to go, and have a kiosk selling crystals, homeopathic remedies, Bach Flower remedies, and some nicer orgone towers, cause that plastic resin crap with glitter is embarrassing.
posted by theora55 at 7:03 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
But any self-respecting conspiracy theorist would immediately recognize that even enquiring about this cruise gives some bad guys access to your identity, so, seriously, the only people who will go are lightweights.
But I'd kind of like to go, and have a kiosk selling crystals, homeopathic remedies, Bach Flower remedies, and some nicer orgone towers, cause that plastic resin crap with glitter is embarrassing.
posted by theora55 at 7:03 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
My main concern, though, would be Finding My People.
[White Stripes' "We're Going to Be Friends" starts playing in background]
posted by griphus at 7:27 AM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
[White Stripes' "We're Going to Be Friends" starts playing in background]
posted by griphus at 7:27 AM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Oddly, plenty of people with perfectly respectable IQ scores believe in 1 or more of these.
This is true. Many smart people have convictions that seem ... not smart at all. Take the example of Cyrus Gordon (whose memoir I have been reading): a brilliant scholar of the ancient Near East, fluent in a half dozen languages, US Army cryptanalyst, impressively traveled and connected ... and not only unshakably convinced that ancient Hebrews produced the Bat Creek inscription, but willing to lend his authority to the work of ancient astronaut enthusiast John Cohane.
I can take the smart person's assent as evidence for some particular piece of crankery or I can take it as evidence that smart people believe dumb things, too.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:53 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
This is true. Many smart people have convictions that seem ... not smart at all. Take the example of Cyrus Gordon (whose memoir I have been reading): a brilliant scholar of the ancient Near East, fluent in a half dozen languages, US Army cryptanalyst, impressively traveled and connected ... and not only unshakably convinced that ancient Hebrews produced the Bat Creek inscription, but willing to lend his authority to the work of ancient astronaut enthusiast John Cohane.
I can take the smart person's assent as evidence for some particular piece of crankery or I can take it as evidence that smart people believe dumb things, too.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:53 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oddly, plenty of people with perfectly respectable IQ scores believe in 1 or more of these.
I trot this out constantly in these types of threads but based on polling that I think is accurate a solid 3/4 of America believes in the existence of angels.
posted by griphus at 8:08 AM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
I trot this out constantly in these types of threads but based on polling that I think is accurate a solid 3/4 of America believes in the existence of angels.
posted by griphus at 8:08 AM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
If you have a roommate and don't need a window in your sleep room it's only $1280 from where I'm browsing. I hope they make youtubes of the talks.
This is like the greatest you tube channel ever.
posted by bukvich at 8:12 AM on September 1, 2015
This is like the greatest you tube channel ever.
posted by bukvich at 8:12 AM on September 1, 2015
I just noticed that IRS appears twice on the list of topics. What can they mean....?
posted by escabeche at 8:49 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by escabeche at 8:49 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Wow. I clicked on the link because "that can't possibly be the Sharon Schloss I know" from '90s Silver Lake days. Oh. She always seemed like the sane one in that band.
posted by queensissy at 9:42 AM on September 1, 2015
posted by queensissy at 9:42 AM on September 1, 2015
I just noticed that IRS appears twice on the list of topics. What can they mean....?
easy, one is the internal revenue service of the USA and the other is a shadowy group known only as the international rocket sniffers
posted by poffin boffin at 10:18 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
easy, one is the internal revenue service of the USA and the other is a shadowy group known only as the international rocket sniffers
posted by poffin boffin at 10:18 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Well, if anything whatsoever goes wrong, there will be no shortage of likely candidates.
I'm splitting my bet between whooping cough and measles.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2015
I'm splitting my bet between whooping cough and measles.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2015
At the very least, this sounds like the plot setting for a very convoluted murder mystery.
posted by msbutah at 10:31 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by msbutah at 10:31 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Seriously. Then around Act 3 things take a really hard turn and the prime murder suspect gets abducted by aliens.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:35 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:35 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I just noticed that IRS appears twice on the list of topics. What can they mean....?
Wait, I figured it out, REM's record label is in on it! Fables of the Reconstruction obviously refers to the Masonic role in the KKK. "Radio Free Europe" is a protest against the Zurich bankers. I will stand in the place where I live! I will!
posted by escabeche at 10:54 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Wait, I figured it out, REM's record label is in on it! Fables of the Reconstruction obviously refers to the Masonic role in the KKK. "Radio Free Europe" is a protest against the Zurich bankers. I will stand in the place where I live! I will!
posted by escabeche at 10:54 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
My fondness for rubbernecking at weird conspiracy videos has caused Youtube to frequently suggest to me videos proving that Prince William is the Antichrist. I don't know whether Google should rethink its algorithms or I should rethink my life.
posted by Countess Elena at 11:40 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 11:40 AM on September 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
I love to kill time on ATS gawking at the crazy that passes for rational discussion.
posted by msbutah at 11:46 AM on September 1, 2015
posted by msbutah at 11:46 AM on September 1, 2015
videos proving that Prince William is the Antichrist
Royal Baby Eats First Meal
posted by benzenedream at 11:52 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Royal Baby Eats First Meal
posted by benzenedream at 11:52 AM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
I believe the Koch brothers and their GOP cronies are conspiring to run the United States Congress, so I can understand.
Isn't part of the de facto definition of "conspiracy" that it's hidden to some degree, though?
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:01 PM on September 1, 2015
Isn't part of the de facto definition of "conspiracy" that it's hidden to some degree, though?
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:01 PM on September 1, 2015
Wait, I figured it out, REM's record label is in on it! Fables of the Reconstruction obviously refers to the Masonic role in the KKK. "Radio Free Europe" is a protest against the Zurich bankers. I will stand in the place where I live! I will!
Wire in a fire representing seven games and a government for hire in a combat site.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:05 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Wire in a fire representing seven games and a government for hire in a combat site.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:05 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
> Oddly, plenty of people with perfectly respectable IQ scores believe in 1 or more of these.
It's true, I do believe in climate change, HIV, and Obama.
posted by gingerbeer at 12:29 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
It's true, I do believe in climate change, HIV, and Obama.
posted by gingerbeer at 12:29 PM on September 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
It's true, I do believe in climate change, HIV, and Obama.
Yes, and bee colony collapse and ecology and Big Pharma and JFK and 9/11. I'm guessing, however, that there are proposed cover-ups and/or Conspiracies associated with each listing.
I tell you I would not want to be on the ship for anything. Just reading the entry for Nesara makes my head hurt. It is like I can feel the garbage going in and my brain is trying to jettison it as fast as possible. Also, why is it always Lizard People? Was the TV show "V" that important or was that based on already established conspiracy beliefs? Why is it never Octopi People or Space Rock People or Fungi People?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:46 PM on September 1, 2015
Yes, and bee colony collapse and ecology and Big Pharma and JFK and 9/11. I'm guessing, however, that there are proposed cover-ups and/or Conspiracies associated with each listing.
I tell you I would not want to be on the ship for anything. Just reading the entry for Nesara makes my head hurt. It is like I can feel the garbage going in and my brain is trying to jettison it as fast as possible. Also, why is it always Lizard People? Was the TV show "V" that important or was that based on already established conspiracy beliefs? Why is it never Octopi People or Space Rock People or Fungi People?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:46 PM on September 1, 2015
Space Rock People
Hey, leave Hawkwind out of this!
posted by acb at 5:13 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Hey, leave Hawkwind out of this!
posted by acb at 5:13 PM on September 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Will the agenda include all these conspiracies?
I'm still betting on Disney being behind EVERYTHING and Gravity Falls being the "tipping their hand" moment. Marvel's Tony Stark is their real head of R&D, and they're bringing in Wookiees and Ewoks from the Star Wars Galaxy to do the manual labor. And the Muppets? They are TOTALLY real, as we'll learn on their new show.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:48 PM on September 2, 2015
I'm still betting on Disney being behind EVERYTHING and Gravity Falls being the "tipping their hand" moment. Marvel's Tony Stark is their real head of R&D, and they're bringing in Wookiees and Ewoks from the Star Wars Galaxy to do the manual labor. And the Muppets? They are TOTALLY real, as we'll learn on their new show.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:48 PM on September 2, 2015
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posted by griphus at 6:34 PM on August 31, 2015 [17 favorites]