Right from the start it was both sexual & social: Ask Isadora sex advice

September 14, 2015 4:32 PM

"Jewish grandma Isadora Alman pioneered the American sex-advice column, then found her work obsolete." - Jonathan Kiefer, Tablet. [Ask Isadora website / essays for Psychology Today]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome (9 comments total)

While 20s me liked Dan Savage back in the 90s, today-me thinks we'd be better off with advice from Ms. Alman. It's too bad that one of them had to "lose" as sex columnist.
posted by jepler at 5:59 PM on September 14, 2015 [4 favorites]

Sweet article.


And, of course, cemented my thinking that Dan Savage is an asshole.
posted by slkinsey at 6:01 PM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

Aw, my old alt-weekly used to carry her column. Many a winter bus ride was brightened by Ask Isadora.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:27 PM on September 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

I remember having serious problems with one answer of hers, but I can't quote it. What is it that Savage hated? Oh, this. Well, that . . . covers them both in glory.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:29 PM on September 14, 2015

I remember her column was carried by the Berkeley freebie papers - and was a reliably good read. You didn't have podcasts, nor the internet, nor as open a dialogue as you can find today about specific, real-world sex problems and solutions. There was always at least one shocking letter, and maybe one that was less shocking but still interesting.

Her responses were always written with respect, kindness, and a practical approach, as I recall.

Here's a bit I found interesting from the piece:

Noting the robustness of personal ads in the alternative press, and sensing a need, she pitched the San Francisco Bay Guardian on a column in the question-and-answer format.

“The editor said, ‘Give me a few samples,’” Alman remembers. “I said, ‘Ask your editorial staff what they want to know, and I’ll write the first column.’ One of them was, basically, ‘I want to ask this guy out but I’m not sure if he’s gay. How do I find out?’ Right from the start it was both sexual and social.”

So, two things: 1) the barrier to getting professional newspaper writing work seems much, much lower at that time; 2) I really like her practical and confident 'application' - "Shoot me any question you got - I got answers!" What an approach to getting a gig.

I hoped other Mefites would remember the Ask Isadora column...
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 6:31 PM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh, I remember her. Sorry to hear that Dan Savage and others pretty much drove her out of that business.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:19 PM on September 14, 2015

I read her in my 20s in the Worcester Pheonix, and loved her. She was very no-nonsense and you got the sense she was really interested in helping, not necessarily becoming a personality.

Had no idea, though, about this backstory/media war thing. I've never liked Dan Savage, and that excerpt about vaginas looking like canned hams - and the juvenile explanation for it - pretty much reminded me why. He's done some good things but I'd much rather have tolerant, relaxed, non-ranty, explanatory Isadora.
posted by Miko at 9:13 PM on September 14, 2015

Here's a story from when she got the pink slip. A bunch of her old columns are up on her website.
posted by Miko at 9:16 PM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

I loved Isadora probably as much as any of you, but when she went, she had been pretty stale for a while. Considering that the SF Guardian is now completely gone, I'm not surprised she got axed as part of of cost cutting. Savage was probably cheaper at the time.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:50 PM on September 14, 2015 [1 favorite]