Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.
September 22, 2015 7:54 PM   Subscribe

 
This is the best one yet.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:57 PM on September 22, 2015 [13 favorites]


Yep, totally works.
posted by Huck500 at 8:15 PM on September 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


"They're saying you're alive" is my fav.
posted by bleep at 8:17 PM on September 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


Christ, I'd like to add you to my professional misunderstanding network.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 8:21 PM on September 22, 2015 [27 favorites]


Awesome.
posted by rtha at 8:23 PM on September 22, 2015


The praying one made me laugh out loud. Genius.
posted by parki at 8:24 PM on September 22, 2015 [19 favorites]


New Yorker cartoons are so oblique and droll that printing almost any phrase beneath them makes them read like, well, a New Yorker Cartoon.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 8:30 PM on September 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


I think "Yeah, shit's crazy" works for all of them too.
posted by Slinga at 8:39 PM on September 22, 2015 [6 favorites]


I thought it was "You're the doctor - you tell me."
posted by newdaddy at 8:40 PM on September 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


grasssssss tastes bad.
posted by boo_radley at 8:41 PM on September 22, 2015 [7 favorites]


IMHO the New Yorker cartoons made by actual funny people are one thing, the overly-broad Cartoon Caption Contest ones are something else.

I am all for harshing on the contest images but feel somewhat defensive about the actual cartoons in the magazine.
posted by stevil at 8:49 PM on September 22, 2015 [3 favorites]




I've been using "Yes, of course we accept bitcoin."

terrifyingly effective
posted by phooky at 8:57 PM on September 22, 2015 [13 favorites]


how about "You know, this would make a pretty good New Yorker cartoon."
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:22 PM on September 22, 2015 [16 favorites]


I still prefer "Who farted?"
posted by elr at 9:24 PM on September 22, 2015


My universal caption is: "This is the closest we'll ever be to falling in love."
posted by perhapses at 9:36 PM on September 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


Am I going crazy or was this proposed in a metafilter thread a few days ago?
posted by I-baLL at 10:30 PM on September 22, 2015


Nevermind. I just looked at the article to see the caption. Missed the part where it said that this was proposed in 2006.
posted by I-baLL at 10:31 PM on September 22, 2015


BEK has a cartoon in most New Yorker magazines and in my opinion none of these phrases work all the time on his. He also happens to be my favorite of all the regulars. And a genius writer of drama and comedy.
posted by chaz at 11:12 PM on September 22, 2015 [3 favorites]


none of these are funny
posted by thelonius at 11:31 PM on September 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Am I going crazy or was this proposed in a metafilter thread a few days ago?" Is my favorite New Yorker cartoon caption.
posted by happyroach at 12:13 AM on September 23, 2015 [18 favorites]


LinkedIn's marketing people must be over the moon.
posted by chavenet at 12:23 AM on September 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


One time, I actually edited a LinkedIn invitation to connect. Consequences were never the same.
posted by ZipRibbons at 12:29 AM on September 23, 2015


"Fuck Ira Glass" works too.
posted by goofyfoot at 4:00 AM on September 23, 2015 [7 favorites]


An otherwise very dignified and erudite friend suggested, "Did you fart?" I thought nothing of it at the time, but have since found myself struggling not to apply it every time I pick up the New Yorker. And I'll be damned if it doesn't yield COMEDY GOLD at a pretty good rate,
posted by ryanshepard at 4:01 AM on September 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


One time, I actually edited a LinkedIn invitation to connect. Consequences were never the same.

Oh please tell me you edited it to: "Did you fart?"

I'm going to use that as my LinkedIn invitation message from now on.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 4:41 AM on September 23, 2015 [6 favorites]


"LinkedIn's marketing people must be over the moon."

Yes, that would also work.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 4:54 AM on September 23, 2015 [8 favorites]


Honestly you could probably sell did you fart if you drew enough of a background with a grey wash.
posted by The Whelk at 7:42 AM on September 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


"I think the drugs are kicking in..."
posted by From Bklyn at 9:24 AM on September 23, 2015


Wondering about "You could overthink a plate of beans" as a possibility.
posted by nubs at 9:42 AM on September 23, 2015


I've always liked:

"I blame Ira Glass"

posted by leotrotsky at 10:28 AM on September 23, 2015


Say, what about "I saw a porno like this once"
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:34 AM on September 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


"If you don't stop trying to lick that, I'll have to put your cone back on," also seems to work a good bit of the time.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 12:43 PM on September 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


"I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle."
posted by pahool at 1:14 PM on September 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


Depending on the person I edit mine to, I'd "like" to "add" "you" to "my" "professional" "network" on LinkedIn.

Christ, I blame that asshole Ira Glass.
posted by bendy at 1:15 PM on September 23, 2015


wow I really shouldn't type on a boat.


One cartoon I swear I re-drew every other week trying to sell was a couple in a very fashionable living room, the woman has a look on disdain as she walks out the door

"No amount of elegant solutions to modern living will make me love you."
posted by The Whelk at 1:40 PM on September 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


"I didn't think this would be an issue anymore after we went Paleo."
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 3:06 PM on September 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


We're fond of "Shut up, this is my coping strategy." Surprisingly versatile.
posted by bookish at 7:20 PM on September 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


Shut up, this is my coping strategy.
posted by nubs at 7:36 PM on September 23, 2015


Coincidentally (since these syndicated newspaper cartoons are made weeks in advance)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:15 AM on September 24, 2015


I think this works well (from the linked vocal fry thread) :
"A-a-a-o-o-o-o- a - a - a - i-i-i-i-e-e - e - e -"
posted by xorry at 9:42 AM on September 24, 2015


Since it's debatable if LinkedIn will still be around in five years, I have my doubts that a caption alluding to it has the universality of "Christ, what an asshole!"

For my money, a better candidate would be one from Occupy Wall Street: "Shit is fucked up and bullshit."
posted by Doktor Zed at 10:39 AM on September 24, 2015


leotrotsky, I forgot that the Ira Glass one came from you! Although yours was less profane.
posted by goofyfoot at 5:41 PM on September 24, 2015


Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:38 PM on September 24, 2015


I've been looking at a lot of NY cartoons, and I think "I've been waiting to pee for three hours" could be another universal caption.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:46 PM on September 24, 2015


And here's another candidate for Universal Caption, suggested by known comics troublemaker Matt Fraction: "A heart would be great, sure, but what I'd really like is a working human penis".
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:11 PM on September 24, 2015


"...And that's why I've converted all my assets to Bitcoin."
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 5:27 AM on September 25, 2015


UPDATE! They just posted the cartoons from the next issue online... and guess what the caption to the first one is! (no, nothing about a working human penis)
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:23 PM on October 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


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