Part ostrich, part velociraptor

November 14, 2015 11:57 AM

Emus vs Humans: The Great Emu War of 1932 Also covered on The Uncyclopedia and EmuGigs

Previously

posted by Michele in California (14 comments total)

Sounds like fodder for a sequel to Shut Up & Sit Down's emu wargame.
posted by michaelh at 12:00 PM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

I just read about this quite recently myself. I think it was a post or page about Australians confusing everyone else on tumblr. And read the wikipedia page, with all the hilarity it contained. I personally love this quote:

The machine-gunners' dreams of point blank fire into serried masses of Emus were soon dissipated. The Emu command had evidently ordered guerrilla tactics, and its unwieldy army soon split up into innumerable small units that made use of the military equipment uneconomic. A crestfallen field force therefore withdrew from the combat area after about a month.

Remember, this is the enemy. They indoctrinate then young. (Also baby ostriches, because cute.)
posted by [insert clever name here] at 12:16 PM on November 14, 2015 [3 favorites]

For quite a while the Wikipedia entry for this used the official war formatting with listed belligerents etc. as in the Uncyclopedia link. Then somebody removed the formatting because they hate entirely factual fun.
posted by truex at 12:26 PM on November 14, 2015 [15 favorites]

I would greatly enjoy reading this story in comic book form.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:37 PM on November 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

I would greatly enjoy reading this story in comic book form.

I realize that I am probably stepping on your joke, but, for those who did not see the FPP, here you are.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:56 PM on November 14, 2015

Personally, I would like it to be done as a prestige-format TV series, like the Walking Dead. A small band of survivors a deadly emu attacks has to cross Australia to find the last operational airfield....

Guest starring: All the Poisonous Things!
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:57 PM on November 14, 2015 [6 favorites]

Huh, I was honestly not aware of that and expressing what I thought was an unlikely-to-be-fulfilled desire. Certain minds, if not necessarily great ones, evidently think alike.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:19 PM on November 14, 2015 [3 favorites]

Remember Rod Hull.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:34 PM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

Delaware. 2015. Humans hang in there and eke out a victory.
posted by The Bellman at 2:56 PM on November 14, 2015

I really really really want a Civilization V mod where the barbarians are reskinned as emus. Kind of like the currently trendy White Walkers super barbarian spam scenarios, but you know, with homicidal birds.
posted by litereally at 4:47 PM on November 14, 2015

Also on The Dollop.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:58 PM on November 14, 2015

I love so much that this is a real thing that actually happened.


Emus are legitimately terrifying.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:56 PM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

An Emu once purposely destroyed my cup of soft drink on a very hot day when I could not afford to buy another drink. After that I believe them capable of almost any evil and malicious thing.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 9:09 PM on November 15, 2015 [3 favorites]

I once saw An Emu Destroyed My Soft Drink Cup opening for Dingos Ate My Baby.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:28 PM on November 16, 2015 [1 favorite]