Say Hello To My Little House

November 29, 2015 12:43 PM

The four-bedroom/nine-bath house at 631 Parra Grande Lane in Montecito has been sold. Built on ten acres in 1906, El Fureidis--originally called Gillespie Estate or Gillespie Palace--is one of five homes designed by American architect Bertram Grosvenor Goodhue. If you're not familiar with El Fureidis and its long and dignified history, here's a tour, and a video of an infamous owner's wedding.
posted by mattdidthat (31 comments total)

Every fine den needs a grenade launcher.
posted by clavdivs at 1:09 PM on November 29, 2015

Why would you need more bathrooms than bedrooms? Is the home populated with lactose intolerant people with poor self control coupled with a fabulous dairy in the basement?
posted by ZaneJ. at 1:11 PM on November 29, 2015 [9 favorites]

A party never has enough bathroom.
posted by idiopath at 1:13 PM on November 29, 2015 [6 favorites]

In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

And when you get the women, you get the extra bathrooms.
posted by mochapickle at 1:15 PM on November 29, 2015 [31 favorites]

Why would you need more bathrooms than bedrooms? Is the home populated with lactose intolerant people with poor self control coupled with a fabulous dairy in the basement?

9 to 5 is a bit of a crazy ratio, but they might be including powder rooms. Otherwise, I've worked on super-expensive houses, and there are almost always more bathrooms than bedrooms. Basically, every bedroom has an en suite. Sometimes, the master suite has two bathrooms - his and hers. Then there's a powder room or two depending on the size of the place, and then if you have an outbuilding, like a pool house or game room, there's usually a bath in there. Maybe one in your garage if you do a lot of gardening or have a workshop or something.
posted by LionIndex at 1:16 PM on November 29, 2015 [5 favorites]

Oh, Goodhue also did quite a few buildings at Balboa Park in San Diego, but that's in a bit different style.
posted by LionIndex at 1:20 PM on November 29, 2015

GTA Vice City ftw
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:22 PM on November 29, 2015 [3 favorites]

I want a conversation room.

I'm never going to live in a big fancy house like this, but one of the things I do love about these houses is the various distinct living spaces. I can't count how often I'd like to be in the reading room while my husband is in the media room, or wish he and his visiting friend could go into the conversation room, but instead we've just got this one measly living room. Oh the humanity!

But really, this place is quite pretty. I could spend a lot of time there.
posted by obfuscation at 1:24 PM on November 29, 2015 [6 favorites]

If you can't afford Scarface's house, maybe Buffalo Bill's place is more in your budget. Basement pit not included.
posted by octothorpe at 1:28 PM on November 29, 2015 [7 favorites]

To me the grounds and exterior looked tacky and/or (depending on the item) poorly designed. Inside was a bit better, though marred by some (again) tacky modern furnishing decisions.

I’m sure whoever is buying it is a good, hardworking person who earned every penny, with not even the smallest fraction of their wealth more-deservedly in the paycheck of the multitude of people who have worked for or served them.
posted by D.C. at 2:11 PM on November 29, 2015 [3 favorites]

Kind of like growing up gay and closeted, this is where I've learned to recognize the symbology of a certain kind of beauty but this place does nothing for me.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 2:53 PM on November 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh wow, octothorpe, from that listing:

"The front door is the door that Agent Starling knocked on and Jame Gumb answered. The dining room is where Jame Gumb had the drawer opened and fumbled with cards when Agent Starling pulled her automatic weapon, and he scurried away. The pit...now there is the question...is there really a pit in the basement, or is it all just movie magic? Just put on the lotion, and come see this home and find out!!!!"

I can't believe they put that in there.
posted by oneironaut at 2:55 PM on November 29, 2015 [16 favorites]

Just because I'm moving into new digs, that doesn't mean I want MeFi rummaging through my gardens. Lots of people have a 4 BR fixer upper. Get your own estate, peasants!
posted by markkraft at 3:16 PM on November 29, 2015

I've worked on super-expensive houses, and there are almost always more bathrooms than bedrooms.

So, like if I get to be really really rich I can expect to have pretty constant diarrhea along with putting up with a family and a bunch of associates and hangers on with seriously problematic bowels? Really? like really rich? Ok, I can deal with that.
posted by sammyo at 3:56 PM on November 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

If you can't afford Scarface's house, maybe Buffalo Bill's place is more in your budget. Basement pit not included.

But -- and this is the most important thing -- CABOOSE INCLUDED!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:14 PM on November 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

So, like if I get to be really really rich I can expect to have pretty constant diarrhea along with putting up with a family and a bunch of associates and hangers on with seriously problematic bowels? Really? like really rich? Ok, I can deal with that.

No, just, if digestive difficulties ever happen to you, no on else in the house really has to know about it; and if it happens to anyone else, you don't have to know about it.
posted by LionIndex at 4:30 PM on November 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

So if you have nine toilets, and you only flush five of them, how many still have shit floating in them?
posted by oceanjesse at 4:54 PM on November 29, 2015

The Mediterranean estate, surrounded by fountains and Persian gardens, is memorable as the site of the Pacino character’s most famous line, shouted over the blast of his machine gun: “Say hello to my little friend!”

Man I don't even like that movie but at least I know the difference between a machine gun and a fucking grenade launcher.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:05 PM on November 29, 2015

Cheap drones are going to disrupt the hell out of high-end mansion tour videos.
posted by gwint at 5:55 PM on November 29, 2015

When I painted houses in the '90s, I worked in a lot of McMansions that had at least as many toilets as bedrooms. Usually one for each bedroom, at least one first floor powder room and then one off the family room in the basement. Rich people don't like to be too far from a bathroom.
posted by octothorpe at 6:37 PM on November 29, 2015

You know, the one place I wouldn't live if I had that kind of money would be this house.

Somebody with this much money wouldn't want (or need) to telegraph it by owning a place that had its layout splashed all over the media.

A listing for the nouveau riche, indeed.
posted by SteveInMaine at 6:55 PM on November 29, 2015

Man I don't even like that movie but at least I know the difference between a machine gun and a fucking grenade launcher.

[pedantfilter] Tony Montana (Al Pacino) uses a Colt AR-15 with a Fake M203 grenade launcher attached during the final battle. Here is the battle scene.
I really don't like Scarface, too.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 6:58 PM on November 29, 2015

obfuscation: "I want a conversation room.

I'm never going to live in a big fancy house like this, but one of the things I do love about these houses is the various distinct living spaces. I can't count how often I'd like to be in the reading room while my husband is in the media room, or wish he and his visiting friend could go into the conversation room"

Don't forget the gift-wrapping room. (If you're like Niles Crane, that is.)
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 7:33 PM on November 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

I haven't seen Scarface since it came out and I'm not sure if I want to know how badly it's aged by now. I did see the original Paul Muni version a few years ago and that's still pretty good in that slightly creaky early talkies way.
posted by octothorpe at 8:02 PM on November 29, 2015

I had a roommate who played Apocalypse Now on the vcr 24/7 for months, until the tape wore out. After that he played Scarface for months until IT wore out*, and I can say both films age pretty well, even at an accelerated rate.

_______________
*After that, I moved out.
posted by notyou at 8:27 PM on November 29, 2015

Why would you need more bathrooms than bedrooms?

Normally in this scenario the structure used to have a more sensible bedroom-bathroom ratio before the owner got careless with their grenade launcher. A good home inspector can usually identify these problems and is worth their weight in uncut cocaine.
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:46 PM on November 29, 2015 [4 favorites]

When I painted houses ...
posted by octothorpe at 6:37 PM on November 29 [+] [!]

as your I am not a lawyer, I must caution you for your use of this phrase in a thread about a physical shooting location for a gangster film.
posted by mwhybark at 10:23 PM on November 29, 2015

I think the house is very beautiful and the location other-worldly. The aerials photos and footage show a wonderland of gardens. And though I know little about such things I like the minimalist, yet rich decor.

The mouse-wheel house tour is pretty neat, kind of old-school, but still good.
posted by rmmcclay at 4:09 AM on November 30, 2015

The mouse-wheel house tour is pretty neat, kind of old-school, but still good

Unless you're using an iPad. In which case, it kind of made me nauseous. Had to squint to find the back arrow and get the heck out of there.
posted by slipthought at 5:59 AM on November 30, 2015

Can anyone guess what kind of staff a home like this requires, full and part time? Cleaning (and cooking?), groundskeeping, security, repairs and upkeep, managerial? And whatever I'm not thinking of?
posted by taz at 9:18 AM on November 30, 2015

Some of the decor choices are unfortunate. Beyond that, a house with a central courtyard is basically my dream so, yes please.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:48 AM on November 30, 2015