Good grief

December 25, 2015 1:21 PM

Simon Abrams, Vulture: All 45 Peanuts Specials, Ranked From Worst to Best
posted by We had a deal, Kyle (43 comments total)

I had no clue that there were 45 of the things. There really was a desert of content back then.
posted by leotrotsky at 1:33 PM on December 25, 2015 [9 favorites]

I didn't know until relatively recently that both "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown" and "Snoopy" were made into animated cartoons. They're not too bad, for what they are. Good list, thanks!
posted by Melismata at 1:39 PM on December 25, 2015

They even left out This is America, Charlie Brown.
posted by vacapinta at 1:41 PM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]

No Bon Voyage Charlie Brown?
posted by JARED!!! at 1:51 PM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]

Snoopy Come Home and Why, Charlie Brown, Why will always be my favorites even though they're so very sad.
posted by Hermione Granger at 1:55 PM on December 25, 2015

Really, you can just stop after #1 and #2 on this list and live a long and fulfilled life. Yes, it's the grand Christmas tradition of hating on best-of lists!
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:55 PM on December 25, 2015

I once defended the accuracy and informative tone of "Mayflower Voyagers" episode of This Is America, Charlie Brown from some kid in my first grade class who thought Rankin/Bass's Mouse on the Mayflower was the superior animated Thanksgiving special. One uses familiar characters to provide a straightforward account of the settlement of Plymouth, and the other is about a stupid, badly animated mouse.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 1:57 PM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]

No Bon Voyage Charlie Brown?

I don't think they're counting theatrical movies. I don't see Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown there either.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 1:58 PM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]

I didn't know they were still making Charlie Brown specials into the 2000s.

Also, Why, Charlie Brown, Why? gets extra points for giving you the exact words to yell at many of these.
posted by ckape at 1:58 PM on December 25, 2015 [10 favorites]

I don't think they're counting theatrical movies.

Yep, mentioned in the comments:

Those two [Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown and Race for Your Life Charlie Brown] are full-length feature films along with A Boy Named Charlie Brown and Snoopy, Come Home. They didn't debut on TV.

posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 2:01 PM on December 25, 2015

They also left out Checkmate, Charlie Brown, which was a weird attempt to capitalize on the drama of 1972, and It's the Fatalist, Charlie Brown, notable for Boris Karloff's performance as the voice of Vulich.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:04 PM on December 25, 2015 [10 favorites]

These all really existed and are not part of some grand put-on? I kept half-expecting to find It's the Magic Mansion, Charlie Brown.
posted by dfan at 2:48 PM on December 25, 2015 [7 favorites]

also they left out the Patrick McGoohan-authored Prisoner crossover special where everything Number 2 says sounds like a muted trombone, and Number 6/Charlie Brown's plan for escape depends on being able to kick a football full of documents, held by Number 8/Lucy, past Rover (which for no explained reason has ears covered in black fur) and outside of the borders of the Village.

spoilers: there's a great twist at the end — after the inevitable betrayal by Number 8, everything both Number 8 and Number 6 say sounds like a muted trombone. Number 8 is as horrified by this as Number 6 is.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 2:48 PM on December 25, 2015 [17 favorites]

(I remember the title being something like It's the Village, Charlie Brown, but when I check on Wikipedia I can't find anything by that name...)
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:06 PM on December 25, 2015 [7 favorites]

Does not include either It's a Special Kind of Love, Charlie Brown or Why Does It Hurt When I Urinate, Charlie Brown?.

I am disappoint.
posted by oheso at 3:25 PM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]

Linus's whimsical yet heartfelt advocacy of 1. h4 should be better remembered.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:27 PM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]

What?!? No Mention of "Waiting For Shermy"? Just Charlie Brown and Linus waiting on a country road by a tree, but the voices by Bert Lahr and E.G. Marshall more than make up for the lack of action.
posted by TDavis at 3:30 PM on December 25, 2015 [8 favorites]

[Charlie]
If Snotboogie always stole the money, why'd you let him play?

[Witness]
Got to. This America, Charlie Brown.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:40 PM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]

Neglects to include "It's Cuffing Season, Charlie Brown" but that might be because it only ever aired once.
posted by drezdn at 3:52 PM on December 25, 2015

It's nice to have confirmation that I didn't hallucinate "Why, Charlie Brown, Why?" as I have been accused of making it up by several people.
posted by jenjenc at 5:08 PM on December 25, 2015 [9 favorites]

There was a really weird special in the 1970s which oddly enough featured Pigpen as a homicide detective. I think it was called "And just one more thing, Charlie Brown".
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:10 PM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]

Also excludes It's R'lyeh, Charlie Brown! But I understand the original was lost to some flooding.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:29 PM on December 25, 2015 [7 favorites]

Now people are just starting to make things up.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:32 PM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]

My favorite has long been It's The Most Dangerous Game, Charlie Brown! if only for Lucy's long-deserved comeuppance.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:58 PM on December 25, 2015 [7 favorites]

That said, She's Not Breathing, Charlie Brown! is certainly the most memorable, particularly the scene with the suitcase.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:05 PM on December 25, 2015 [7 favorites]

You're The Father, Charlie Brown! doesn't get much air time these days, either.
posted by briank at 6:11 PM on December 25, 2015 [5 favorites]

Anyone remember Welcome to Candle Cove, Charlie Brown?
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:22 PM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]

Snoopy's mugging as a Viet Cong guerrilla was more than just a bit racist in You're In Country Now, Charlie Brown (1968), but I will always have a soft spot for Sous les Pavés, la Plage, Charlie Brown from the same year.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:13 PM on December 25, 2015 [4 favorites]

I always thought that Forget It, Charlie Brown, It's Chinatown had a remarkably downer ending even for a Peanuts thing
posted by DoctorFedora at 9:18 PM on December 25, 2015 [8 favorites]

you can just stop after #1 and #2 on this list

Truly. After Schulz was no longer involved, why watch?
posted by Rash at 10:01 PM on December 25, 2015

42. Snoopy's Getting Married, Charlie Brown (1985)

Fer realz?
posted by fairmettle at 2:01 AM on December 26, 2015

That said, She's Not Breathing, Charlie Brown! is certainly the most memorable, particularly the scene with the suitcase.

No wonder we have helicopter parents today. When you think about it, there were a ton of children's shows in the 1980s that had Very Special Episodes about the dangers of playing hide-and-seek. Punky Brewster taught us not to hide in discarded refrigerators. Charlie Brown it was suitcases and old trunks in the attic. Remember when Garfield lured Odie into the washing machine and closed the door and he almost drowned if Jon hadn't come home from his date early and heard him yelping? Then there was that Smurfs episode where Papa Smurf kept that kid stuck in the drainage culvert conscious by telling him stories about dragons until rescuers could arrive. I also vaguely remember a Family Circus primetime special where Billy wanders into a construction site and falls into a trench and is almost buried alive when it begins to collapse on him just as Jeffy arrives with site's foreman.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:30 AM on December 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

Coffee's For Closers, Charlie Brown really affected my young ideas about business.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:59 AM on December 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

No one really talks about "Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown: An Erotic Journey from Milan to Minnesota" anymore.
posted by drezdn at 8:17 AM on December 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

That Looks Infected, Charlie Brown was an eye-opener for me and I'm glad to say I've avoided contracting gangrene ever since.
posted by Spatch at 11:07 AM on December 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

"like one of those dreary Simpsons episodes that inserts Homer and Co. into Bible stories but fails to actually do anything funny beyond that"

If you think those Simpsons episodes are dreary you've not been watching the show for the past five years. Those "dreary" episodes seem like manna from heaven by comparison.
posted by blucevalo at 12:32 PM on December 26, 2015

"Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown: An Erotic Journey from Milan to Minnesota"

That was released on DVD as "50 Shades of Brown. "
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:40 PM on December 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: Now people are just starting to make things up.

like "What a Long Strange Trip It's Been, Charlie Brown"
posted by randomkeystrike at 1:32 PM on December 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

like "What a Long Strange Trip It's Been, Charlie Brown"

Drivin' that train, high on cocaine, Snoopy Dog you better watch your speed...
posted by jonp72 at 4:50 PM on December 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm Pretty Sure That's Impetigo, Charlie Brown

Actually, my favorite version of the "make inappropriate titles for kids product" is using the old My Little Pony toy jingle for banal wickedness. So many things fit that sing-song meter - My Little Pony, Funeral Parlor, My Little Pony, Abortion Clinic. Etc.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:17 PM on December 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Now People Are Just Starting To Make Things Up, Charlie Brown

Though I preferred It Wasn't Just a Product of Your Overactive Imagination, Charlie Brown and We Don't Know What the Network Executives Were Smoking Either, Charlie Brown.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:39 PM on December 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

Despite being made in 2012, no one has yet seen "It's the Singularity, Charlie Brown" which is set to air when a certain dead man's switch at ABC is released.
posted by drezdn at 10:08 PM on December 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

"Set and Setting, Charlie Brown"
posted by krinklyfig at 2:31 AM on December 27, 2015 [2 favorites]