This man is a force of nature. Look at the footwork!

December 28, 2015 5:12 PM

FiveThirtyEight takes on the challenge: It’s a debate as old as time — or, at least as old as 1965’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special.” Of the many revelers throwing down sick moves to “Linus & Lucy” by The Vince Guaraldi Trio, who would you most like to party with?
posted by 1367 (47 comments total)

The guy in orange would normally be the pick. But, twins? Yeah. Always choose to party with the twins. Always.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:15 PM on December 28, 2015 [3 favorites]

DUDE IN GREEN! DUDE IN GREEN!
posted by Fizz at 5:25 PM on December 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm going with Sally. She's white and can't dance, and she knows it, so she's keeping it simple. You know the girl with red hair is the Elaine from Seinfeld of the Charlie Brown world.
posted by axiom at 5:33 PM on December 28, 2015

I can let them get away with not knowing the 95472 family -- 5 and the twins 3 and 4 -- but it's INSANE to me that 538 doesn't even know the names of Violet and Shermy. COME ON
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 5:42 PM on December 28, 2015 [25 favorites]

They also don't know Freida.
posted by JHarris at 5:52 PM on December 28, 2015

No, wait, there's the name, my error, overlooked it.
posted by JHarris at 5:52 PM on December 28, 2015

Pigpen! But I heard he died from liver failure.
posted by TedW at 6:14 PM on December 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

I heard it was toxoplasmosis.
posted by kokaku at 6:25 PM on December 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

This is what the Internet was invented for, and I am so much happier for it.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:28 PM on December 28, 2015 [5 favorites]

Mah maw mah mah whamp.
posted by humanfont at 6:35 PM on December 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

Okay, I 100% agree with the #1 choice, but who are these people who don't know who Violet and Shermy are?
posted by queensissy at 6:49 PM on December 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

Always choose to party with the twins. Always.

*come play with us, Danny!*
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 7:01 PM on December 28, 2015 [12 favorites]

Back in the 90s rave scene, every single drum'n'bass room had that one guy who was flat-out out-dancing everyone at the party, but doing so with an affected air of disinterest, refusing to betray any hint of facial expression or even acknowledge the existence of anyone else on the dance floor.

It took me years to figure out that those dudes always reminded me of the kid in orange.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 7:02 PM on December 28, 2015 [8 favorites]

Frieda, of course, for inventing the Thriller dance, 18 years before the music video we most often associate it with.

Michael, it's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Jackson!
posted by officer_fred at 7:02 PM on December 28, 2015 [4 favorites]

Walt: We asked, “who would you most like to party with?” And the answer is never the filthy bassist, you know?

The people in the Lemmy thread might disagree.
posted by kenko at 7:10 PM on December 28, 2015 [16 favorites]

Ha ha; I was so enraged that I didn't see Karlos the Jackal had posted the same thing before me. But anyway, I'm also annoyed that they are confusing "Linus and Lucy" with "Christmas is Coming." And Snoopy is clearly playing an electric bass.
posted by queensissy at 7:16 PM on December 28, 2015

I know he's not there, but my choice is Spike.
posted by drezdn at 7:23 PM on December 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

...but who are these people who don't know who Violet and Shermy are?

The same ones who don't know the difference between Patty and Peppermint Patty?
posted by Thorzdad at 7:54 PM on December 28, 2015 [5 favorites]

Oh God. I'd be hanging around Schroeder's piano all night, waiting for 5 minutes of his attention to be torn away from his solipsistic obsession with his own superiority. Looking back on it later in life, I'd realize I should have been spending time with Linus.
posted by Miko at 8:45 PM on December 28, 2015 [14 favorites]

+1,000,000 points to you, Thorzdad.
posted by queensissy at 8:53 PM on December 28, 2015

I can't decide if Violet is voguing or doing Tae Bo.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:53 PM on December 28, 2015

I can let them get away with not knowing the 95472 family -- 5 and the twins 3 and 4 -- but it's INSANE to me that 538 doesn't even know the names of Violet and Shermy. COME ON

I CAME IN HERE SCREAMING THE SAME THING
posted by shakespeherian at 10:52 PM on December 28, 2015 [3 favorites]

> And Snoopy is clearly playing an electric bass.

It's only got two tuning pegs. Therefore he's Mark Sandman.
posted by ardgedee at 10:57 PM on December 28, 2015 [7 favorites]

I'd be hanging around Schroeder's piano all night, waiting for 5 minutes of his attention to be torn away from his solipsistic obsession with his own superiority. Looking back on it later in life, I'd realize I should have been spending time with Linus.

I really did not expect this to be the thread in which someone summed up my entire adolescence in two sentences.
posted by Daily Alice at 5:24 AM on December 29, 2015 [11 favorites]

The people who wrote this don't seem to know a whole lot about Peanuts, and yet the rankings are almost perfect (I'd knock Snoopy down a few spots because I think he'd get annoying fast).

> It took me years to figure out that those dudes always reminded me of the kid in orange.

I showed this to my wife and she said "The kid in orange doesn't even look like he's having fun." EXACTLY.
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:43 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

No, no -- the kid in orange is concentrating.

Full confession: the kid in orange has been my Facebook profile pic on and off for years.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:01 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

I showed this to my wife and she said "The kid in orange doesn't even look like he's having fun."

Don't we all know that one guy who puts so much time and effort into his hobby and spends so much time complaining about it (or the other hobbyists) that you can't imagine he's actually having fun at it, but then that one time, when everything comes together and he really fucking nails that dance move or hauls in the biggest goddamn fish of his life or wins the local RC airplane race, and you see that expression of just pure unbridled joy, and you realize that for some people, it really is the destination and not the journey?
posted by Etrigan at 7:34 AM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]

My inner me wants to be the kid in orange, but i suspect that to others I'm somewhere south of Linus, on a good day....but i'd be happy hangin' with Sally all night, she's savin' some energy for the after-party.
posted by OHenryPacey at 8:58 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

The kid in orange (5, I think) is obviously dancing to be seen and admired by others. His twin sisters 3 and 4 are dancing only for themselves and the pure joy of it. They win.
posted by rocket88 at 9:54 AM on December 29, 2015

But anyway, I'm also annoyed that they are confusing "Linus and Lucy" with "Christmas is Coming." And Snoopy is clearly playing an electric bass.

It's both, actually. The scene starts with "Christmas is Coming" and transitions right into "Linus and Lucy".
posted by dances with hamsters at 10:26 AM on December 29, 2015

Oh God. I'd be hanging around Schroeder's piano all night, waiting for 5 minutes of his attention to be torn away from his solipsistic obsession with his own superiority.

Uncharitable to the poor kid. Schroeder's pretty obviously a high-functioning autistic kid who finds an outlet for expressing his emotions through expressive piano performance but has trouble connecting socially with his peers on a more conventional level. And to be fair, Schroeder never led Lucy on. In fact, he never disguised the fact he found her constant, obsessive attentions a nuisance. Schroeder can't help it if the little rich girls of the world insist on romanticizing his coping strategies and putting him on a romantic pedestal for trying to deal with his own limits and find some personal satisfaction in peace through his musical practice.

That said, Linus really is the best, if you can get over his tendency toward moralizing and evangelizing his religious faith.
posted by saulgoodman at 11:10 AM on December 29, 2015

(I mean, I love Linus, but isn't pretty much every Peanuts holiday special about Linus making some big gesture of reminding every body else in the Peanuts gang what the "true meaning" of the holiday is? How is that not being in love with his own superiority as much as Schroeder's wanting to be left alone to play his piano in peace?) ;)
posted by saulgoodman at 11:17 AM on December 29, 2015

At least he is willing to admit when he's wrong!
posted by mittens at 11:24 AM on December 29, 2015

I'd definitely want to hang with the guy in the orange shirt. He's doing some next level, dance as conceptual art stuff there.
posted by saulgoodman at 11:25 AM on December 29, 2015

At least he is willing to admit when he's wrong!

Sure after making Sally spend all night sleeping in a pumpkin patch like some crazed pre-adolescent Captain Ahab.
posted by saulgoodman at 11:27 AM on December 29, 2015 [2 favorites]

4. Snoopy (59 percent)


These are the people who are really just friends with you so they can hang out with your pets.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:02 PM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm not sure what 5 is up to there and the twins appear to just be doing some cryptophasic Happy Dance of their own.

Maybe Shermy is after some now-forgotton moves for "Sleep Walk", though the tempo is all wrong.

But the others are doing pretty close to actual 1960s dance craze moves. Here's one take:

Linus - The Mashed Potato*
Sally - The Twist
Violet- The Jerk
Frieda - The Shimmy

Snoopy is obviously playing a guitar. It has only two tuning pegs because it is a cartoon guitar.

---------------------------------------------------
* With maybe a bit of Eagle-Rock on the side.
posted by Herodios at 12:25 PM on December 29, 2015 [3 favorites]

Since when did Fivethirtyeight start channeling the ghost of Grantland?
posted by Ber at 8:50 PM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]

♫Alternate jazzed-up version of Linus and Lucy♫:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIeeAlM_zNw (Silly Loss of Your Time)
posted by pftoet at 2:16 AM on December 30, 2015

little rich girls of the world

Lucy is rich?!
posted by Miko at 1:43 PM on December 30, 2015

I think that the van Pelts are more well-off than the Browns, but not as wealthy as Violet's family.
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 9:34 PM on December 31, 2015

I kind of pictured them all living in a completely middle-class prefab-housing suburb with basically identical houses and incomes. Basically a postwar suburban upbringing.
posted by Miko at 9:34 AM on January 1, 2016

Doesn't she grow up to be Veronica Lodge?
posted by shakespeherian at 11:04 AM on January 1, 2016

Violet Gray often compared her dad to Charlie Brown's -- see here and here -- and definitely considered herself, at least, on a higher social level than the other kids.

I always assumed that the other kids (barring the kids from the other school) were better-off than Charlie Brown -- whose dad was a barber, a sincere occupation if not a lucrative one -- because everyone else seemed to have more stuff than Charlie Brown. Plus, the van Pelts had a fancy-sounding last name.
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 2:30 PM on January 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

There's an early strip where literally the whole thing is Charlie Brown watching Shermy play with his fancy deluxe electric train set with buildings and flourishes, then gets his coat on, goes home, and watches his own pitiful plain locomotive go around a little loop. (Ah, Karlos's third link is to it.)

There's a particularly memorable strip (Karlos the Jackal's second link is to it actually) where Violet gets told off by Charlie Brown for ridiculing his dad.

So I guess what I'm saying is, >>FWD Karlos the Jackal.
posted by JHarris at 2:55 PM on January 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Lucy is rich?!

Not yet, but I get the sense that, someday, she will be.

The Van Pelt name apparently comes from some friends Schulz had at the time.
posted by JHarris at 2:56 PM on January 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

Dutch names always sound rich to me, thanks to American history.
posted by Miko at 8:21 AM on January 2, 2016 [2 favorites]