Holding the T

January 19, 2016 7:47 PM

Holding the T "By far, squash is the toughest, most brutal, most complete sport there is. It takes everything out of you. It takes every mental and physical effort you have. And if you do your best you have a fifty-per-cent chance to win.”
posted by dhruva (12 comments total)

Thank you, that was a really lovely piece.
posted by smoke at 8:35 PM on January 19, 2016 [2 favorites]

I never played squash but I played a hell of a lot of racquetball, though I think both sports are similar enough when it comes to difficulty and exhaustion level. Water polo would be the only other sport I can think of that it so incredibly taxing on the body, stamina wise.
posted by zardoz at 9:37 PM on January 19, 2016

I used to play solo in the squash court in my high school, you could go crazy and then hit yourself in the back of your head with the ball.
posted by boilermonster at 9:50 PM on January 19, 2016

I just read this over dinner (dead tree version). It reminds me -- I wonder if Barbarian Days is out in paperback yet?
posted by Standard Orange at 10:00 PM on January 19, 2016

In the middle of my beginner's squash class in college I came to the realization that I could get to practically any shot if I wanted to bad enough since the court is pretty small (probably because I was playing other novices). That's really all I can ask for out of an athletic activity, something that instantly rewards any effort you put in. I miss playing, maybe I'll try to find a club. Thanks for the post.
posted by crashlanding at 10:12 PM on January 19, 2016 [1 favorite]

Obligatory.

But seriously, this is good. I'm starting to understand the feeling of "sliding down the neck of the hourglass" myself.
posted by MrBadExample at 10:51 PM on January 19, 2016 [1 favorite]

And if you do your best you have a fifty-per-cent chance to win

That's why I do my worst, saving both mental and physical energy for other daily tasks. But I make sure to play people who do their best: they only have a 50% chance of beating me, no matter how bad I am! As a result, I'm as successful as the greatest squash players in history. I call it "smart squash", or "squart" for short. Who knows, maybe I'll squart all over YOU one day!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:43 AM on January 20, 2016 [6 favorites]

they only have a 50% chance of beating me, no matter how bad I am!

Careful though, if you have a lower than 50% of winning, and they have a 50% chance of winning, you might end up in an endless rally where no-one can concede a point, and you are cursed to play on until the heat-death of the universe.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:10 AM on January 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

Don't be silly, clearly the outcomes are <50% for player 1 to win, <50% for player 2 to win and the remaining percentage for both players to spontaneously vanish in a puff of logic.
posted by Dr Dracator at 5:26 AM on January 20, 2016

a puff of logic

Oh, is that what they're calling it these days.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 6:23 AM on January 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

I wish there were squash courts in the bay area, I played on and off through college which was great! But it's surprisingly hard to find a court that even begins to be convenient on a regular basis.
posted by Carillon at 1:34 PM on January 20, 2016

I enjoyed playing a bit when I was at school. My ankles probably couldn't take it now, but even at the mostly mucking about level we played at I remember a big part of the fun being that every shot was like an opportunity to screw with your partner. I suppose that's true of any one on one sport, but squash seemed like you were actively encouraged to take the piss. The ridiculous leaden balls only added to the joke.
posted by lucidium at 5:35 PM on January 20, 2016