You'll never expect what happened to Ross and Rachel's daughter!
January 21, 2016 12:10 PM Subscribe
It's a good thing Ross and Rachel got together at the end of the show, I guess!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 12:14 PM on January 21, 2016
posted by Elementary Penguin at 12:14 PM on January 21, 2016
So does this mean that all these shows are in a shared universe? We should cross-reference this with the Tommy Westphall-verse.
posted by Cash4Lead at 12:16 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Cash4Lead at 12:16 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
I am so happy right now. Thank you.
posted by Duffington at 12:17 PM on January 21, 2016
posted by Duffington at 12:17 PM on January 21, 2016
Someone that great could only have come from Rachel's DNA - just goes to show that even Ross's genes are terrible and weak ass shitty.
posted by barchan at 12:17 PM on January 21, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by barchan at 12:17 PM on January 21, 2016 [12 favorites]
Once again Ross' first child Ben is forgotten.
posted by humanfont at 12:18 PM on January 21, 2016 [16 favorites]
posted by humanfont at 12:18 PM on January 21, 2016 [16 favorites]
humanfont, he was prolly killed in the Great Harvest.
posted by Kitteh at 12:20 PM on January 21, 2016 [23 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 12:20 PM on January 21, 2016 [23 favorites]
That was amazing.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:23 PM on January 21, 2016
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:23 PM on January 21, 2016
I only followed this link because of mhoye's first comment, but I'm glad I did. I was braced for pop culture stupidity and instead, I got an extraterrestrial apocalypse.
posted by rmd1023 at 12:23 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by rmd1023 at 12:23 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
I see that, somewhere along the line, Luke finally got a clue and took off that idiotic-for-a-man-your-age backwards ball cap. So, there's that, at least. I know Lorelai was always silently embarrassed by that thing.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:24 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 12:24 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
Yes.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:33 PM on January 21, 2016
posted by benito.strauss at 12:33 PM on January 21, 2016
Not what I was expecting, but in only the best way. Bravo.
posted by iminurmefi at 12:37 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by iminurmefi at 12:37 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
Someone that great could only have come from Rachel's DNA - just goes to show that even Ross's genes are terrible and weak ass shitty.
Yeah, I suppose she just acquired her amazing karah-tey abilities out of the blue.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:37 PM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
Yeah, I suppose she just acquired her amazing karah-tey abilities out of the blue.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:37 PM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
Oh, man, Amy Sherman-Palladino is gonna be pissed at the script leaking.
posted by Etrigan at 12:38 PM on January 21, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 12:38 PM on January 21, 2016 [10 favorites]
#seemslegit
posted by klangklangston at 12:41 PM on January 21, 2016
posted by klangklangston at 12:41 PM on January 21, 2016
I would watch the shit out of this mini-series
posted by KingEdRa at 12:41 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by KingEdRa at 12:41 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
Well, what about Sam and Diane? What about Maddie and David? What about Laura Holt and Mr. Steele? What about Mike and Carol Brady?
posted by octobersurprise at 12:42 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by octobersurprise at 12:42 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
Great Harvest. Great Harvest. Great Harvest. Already dead.
posted by Etrigan at 12:43 PM on January 21, 2016 [39 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 12:43 PM on January 21, 2016 [39 favorites]
Already dead ...
... and loving it!
posted by octobersurprise at 12:46 PM on January 21, 2016 [6 favorites]
... and loving it!
posted by octobersurprise at 12:46 PM on January 21, 2016 [6 favorites]
After getting caught in the middle of and narrowly surviving a shoot-out between local police and a band of looters at a Scranton supermarket, Jim and Pam moved their family to Quarantine Zone MD-2 in Maryland, before eventually relocating to a compound in the Monongahela National Forest, which would eventually be incinerated along with most of the Northeast during The Great Harvest.
But how could that be if Jim was posted in Benghazi at the time?
posted by Talez at 1:10 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
But how could that be if Jim was posted in Benghazi at the time?
posted by Talez at 1:10 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
Being undead would improve Ross' personality immeasurably.
posted by codacorolla at 1:11 PM on January 21, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by codacorolla at 1:11 PM on January 21, 2016 [11 favorites]
But how could that be if Jim was posted in Benghazi at the time?
Something something Hillary's lies.
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:15 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
Something something Hillary's lies.
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:15 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
I feel like someone made a show or a movie or something about this post-apocalypse scenario already though, maybe a few years ago? Can't remember the title
posted by clockzero at 1:16 PM on January 21, 2016
posted by clockzero at 1:16 PM on January 21, 2016
This so good.
Pathetic sycophants, the lot of you. Cheering on the Great Harvest as if the chain will spare your flesh-bodies when our worldwide root system is fully installed from its base in 241 separate buildings throughout Great Britain and the brain parasites we've fed to our millions of gluttonous consumers of poor quality steak and drily reheated salmon fillets cause them to become übermenschen capable only of the enslavery and mind control of the rest of your feeble species.
Yes, we'll spare the "customers" until the end, but when the last of our 78B-series sewage ducts has blocked, and there's no more humans to use to flush them clean, then we'll take them too. If we're lucky, the software update should've shipped by then, anyway, and our messy duct clearing problem will no longer be a problem. If not, then we'll have to find one of our own species willing to do a messy, smelly, and frankly rather stigmatised job. Far easy to use alien expendables than tear our own kind away from their entertainments.
posted by ambrosen at 1:21 PM on January 21, 2016 [10 favorites]
Pathetic sycophants, the lot of you. Cheering on the Great Harvest as if the chain will spare your flesh-bodies when our worldwide root system is fully installed from its base in 241 separate buildings throughout Great Britain and the brain parasites we've fed to our millions of gluttonous consumers of poor quality steak and drily reheated salmon fillets cause them to become übermenschen capable only of the enslavery and mind control of the rest of your feeble species.
Yes, we'll spare the "customers" until the end, but when the last of our 78B-series sewage ducts has blocked, and there's no more humans to use to flush them clean, then we'll take them too. If we're lucky, the software update should've shipped by then, anyway, and our messy duct clearing problem will no longer be a problem. If not, then we'll have to find one of our own species willing to do a messy, smelly, and frankly rather stigmatised job. Far easy to use alien expendables than tear our own kind away from their entertainments.
posted by ambrosen at 1:21 PM on January 21, 2016 [10 favorites]
I've only just now realized that Phoebe was a Harvester all along.
posted by leotrotsky at 1:24 PM on January 21, 2016 [15 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 1:24 PM on January 21, 2016 [15 favorites]
- I am going to start invoking The Great Harvest at all opportunities
- For years now I have been a one-man campaign for a Jim & Pam spinoff that is not a comedy. Too late now, but still. Maybe a BBT spinoff with the tone of "Fat Man and Little Boy."
Maybe a BBT spinoff
Boy, you want to talk about people who die early...
posted by Etrigan at 1:26 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
Boy, you want to talk about people who die early...
posted by Etrigan at 1:26 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
And Mulder & Scully tie in by heading up the resistance.
Except if you are a noromo
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:28 PM on January 21, 2016
Except if you are a noromo
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:28 PM on January 21, 2016
Surely Dwight and Mose had planned for this contingency, making Schrute Farms the perfect refuge for Jim, Pam and the kids.
posted by Knappster at 1:30 PM on January 21, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by Knappster at 1:30 PM on January 21, 2016 [12 favorites]
No way, it has to take place in the City of Brotherly Love, which can be a hard place.
posted by rhizome at 1:35 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by rhizome at 1:35 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
When I read the title of this post my first thought was "Was she killed in the Great Harvest?"
posted by ejs at 1:50 PM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by ejs at 1:50 PM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
We all know Coach Taylor is leading the surprisingly scrappy Philadelphia resistance, and Tami is a strong community leader.
posted by lmfsilva at 1:58 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by lmfsilva at 1:58 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
All my favorite TV characters were killed in the Not-Very-Good Harvest.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:59 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:59 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
Fred and Wilma Flintstone continued their idyllic lives in Bedrock, happy and prosperous. The business at Slate Rock and Gravel Company grew exceptionally quickly, owing to something Mr. Slate enigmatically referred to as the Big Reaping. Barney and Fred both received a big raise in pay, but Barney sadly began to suffer from mental health issues, often muttering to himself about conspiracy theories claiming that the new surplus of precious stone somehow involved the harvesting the souls of people from another dimension. He and Betty mysteriously disappeared soon after, and are rumored to have moved to a place called Northern Canada.
posted by sfenders at 2:07 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by sfenders at 2:07 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
In the years between the start of the Syndrome and the final defeat of the Harvesters by the resistance led by their daughter Abbiejean, Archer and Lana divorced and remarried a total of one hundred twenty-six times.
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:17 PM on January 21, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:17 PM on January 21, 2016 [11 favorites]
So I want to talk about the genius of the "twist" in this being right after the point where this happened:
And Chandler losing his job ended up being a blessing in disguise, allowing him to make a much needed career change.
and I thought 'Does this mean he didn't like advertising, his other much needed career change that happened in the later seasons or this based on his earlier season job where the joke was that he was miserable and nobody knew what he did? I'm not sure this person has done their research or thought this through correctly.'
Having the twist revealed at that exact moment, whether it's was a specific choice or by happenstance, pleased me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:26 PM on January 21, 2016 [3 favorites]
And Chandler losing his job ended up being a blessing in disguise, allowing him to make a much needed career change.
and I thought 'Does this mean he didn't like advertising, his other much needed career change that happened in the later seasons or this based on his earlier season job where the joke was that he was miserable and nobody knew what he did? I'm not sure this person has done their research or thought this through correctly.'
Having the twist revealed at that exact moment, whether it's was a specific choice or by happenstance, pleased me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:26 PM on January 21, 2016 [3 favorites]
Huh, I thought Jim and Pam moved to Austin? Wasn't Austin spared the Great Harvest?
posted by pie ninja at 2:41 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by pie ninja at 2:41 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
And Mulder & Scully tie in by heading up the resistance.
Sheldon is the John Cusack in this equation
In England, and then the rest of Europe, the resistance was lead by a Ms. Buffy Summers, formerly of Sunnydale CA.
posted by Ber at 2:46 PM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
Sheldon is the John Cusack in this equation
In England, and then the rest of Europe, the resistance was lead by a Ms. Buffy Summers, formerly of Sunnydale CA.
posted by Ber at 2:46 PM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
So Chandler and Monica Bing were Randy and Evie Quaid all along? But I'm glad to see that Everybody Loves Raymond had a happy ending!
What about Maddie and David?
Moonlighting undercover as Harvesters.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:53 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
What about Maddie and David?
Moonlighting undercover as Harvesters.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:53 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
Aww, no mention for Jimmy and Sabrina? Brad and Jane? Dee and Dennis?
posted by kafziel at 2:59 PM on January 21, 2016
posted by kafziel at 2:59 PM on January 21, 2016
Huh, I thought Jim and Pam moved to Austin? Wasn't Austin spared the Great Harvest
Technically spared only in the sense that the Austin hipsters self-cannibalized before it could reach them. Caffeine withdrawals, man.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 3:00 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
Technically spared only in the sense that the Austin hipsters self-cannibalized before it could reach them. Caffeine withdrawals, man.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 3:00 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
Is The Syndrome/Great Harvest a reference to something specific or even a parody of something specific? Because I really want to read that book and watch that movie.
posted by telegraph at 3:20 PM on January 21, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by telegraph at 3:20 PM on January 21, 2016 [3 favorites]
Now, this is a Cloverfield sequel that I'd watch.
posted by schmod at 4:39 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by schmod at 4:39 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is really funny, I would love to see all of these be filmed! Especially in the original sitcom setting and natural light, too funny. Rory and Lorelai breaking down into incomprehensible squabbles while Luke is trying to calm them down while being annoyed (then Jess comes back into their lives, that little asshole). Also, Corinne Geller being our Katniss Everdeen. That Carrie and Mr. Big thing is too accurate, it may as well be the alternative ending for the actual TV series.
They're missing couples that aren't romantically paired though - I definitely think Mr. Feeny and Eric are gonna be at a quarantine center though, that would be a riot. And how would Liz Lemon and Jack fare?
posted by yueliang at 4:43 PM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
They're missing couples that aren't romantically paired though - I definitely think Mr. Feeny and Eric are gonna be at a quarantine center though, that would be a riot. And how would Liz Lemon and Jack fare?
posted by yueliang at 4:43 PM on January 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
And Mulder & Scully tie in by heading up the resistance.
Well they were in the initial push but they got separated and Scully was mildly concussed so they were out of the action for a while.
posted by Beti at 5:09 PM on January 21, 2016
Well they were in the initial push but they got separated and Scully was mildly concussed so they were out of the action for a while.
posted by Beti at 5:09 PM on January 21, 2016
Hannah was spared because Adam...well, we all know what happened to Adam.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:19 PM on January 21, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:19 PM on January 21, 2016 [3 favorites]
I'm a little annoyed that the Lesser Harvest was glossed over by this report. Niles and Daphne's outright murder by the National Guard brought together disparate resistance groups and turned them into an effective force against the Harvesters.
posted by maxwelton at 5:20 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 5:20 PM on January 21, 2016 [5 favorites]
Loved it, shocked it wasn't a Clickhole piece.
posted by drezdn at 5:33 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by drezdn at 5:33 PM on January 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
We all know Coach Taylor is leading the surprisingly scrappy Philadelphia resistance, and Tami is a strong community leader.
Nah, they're Harvesters. Look into your heart. You know it to be true.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:37 PM on January 21, 2016
Nah, they're Harvesters. Look into your heart. You know it to be true.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:37 PM on January 21, 2016
In an alternate universe where I've been a tv bigwig, I'd create a show like ER or Gray's Anatomy and over the course of the third and fourth seasons slowly and seamlessly transition it to a total-total-grimdark plaguepocalypse show. Maybe with 28-days-later style ragezombies.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:43 PM on January 21, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:43 PM on January 21, 2016 [8 favorites]
Does anyone really believe that, despite giving up the card with the instructions several years earlier, Josh doesn't get put on a plane or in a bunker?
posted by ApathyGirl at 5:51 PM on January 21, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by ApathyGirl at 5:51 PM on January 21, 2016 [6 favorites]
Does anyone really believe that, despite giving up the card with the instructions several years earlier, Josh doesn't get put on a plane or in a bunker?
Yeah, at this point he's the chief of staff, isn't he? He'd be wherever the president is, like it or not. In fact when I scrolled to that point I went "oh, good, they'll probably be fine." :-/
posted by gloriouslyincandescent at 5:55 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
Yeah, at this point he's the chief of staff, isn't he? He'd be wherever the president is, like it or not. In fact when I scrolled to that point I went "oh, good, they'll probably be fine." :-/
posted by gloriouslyincandescent at 5:55 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
Also, I have no idea what ARG this is for, but can I be excused to go watch penguins and duck butt videos? I'll never sleep again if I don't.
posted by ApathyGirl at 5:55 PM on January 21, 2016
posted by ApathyGirl at 5:55 PM on January 21, 2016
In an alternate universe where I've been a tv bigwig, I'd create a show like ER or Gray's Anatomy and over the course of the third and fourth seasons slowly and seamlessly transition it to a total-total-grimdark plaguepocalypse show. Maybe with 28-days-later style ragezombies.
I've been saying for more than ten years that the last couple of scenes very last episode of the last season of 24 (or something like it) should introduce time travel as an explanation for something and have Jack Bauer suddenly reveal that he has heat vision or something.
posted by kafziel at 7:11 PM on January 21, 2016
I've been saying for more than ten years that the last couple of scenes very last episode of the last season of 24 (or something like it) should introduce time travel as an explanation for something and have Jack Bauer suddenly reveal that he has heat vision or something.
posted by kafziel at 7:11 PM on January 21, 2016
Is The Syndrome/Great Harvest a reference to something specific or even a parody of something specific?
Yes, it's a parody of the final season of I Love Lucy in which Lucy and Ricky flee a mysterious plague called the Affliction only to be slaughtered during the Final Culling.
posted by ejs at 7:50 PM on January 21, 2016 [18 favorites]
Yes, it's a parody of the final season of I Love Lucy in which Lucy and Ricky flee a mysterious plague called the Affliction only to be slaughtered during the Final Culling.
posted by ejs at 7:50 PM on January 21, 2016 [18 favorites]
I wonder what ever happened to Bert and Ernie?
Alternately, in the darkest timeline.
posted by Pryde at 9:26 PM on January 21, 2016
Alternately, in the darkest timeline.
posted by Pryde at 9:26 PM on January 21, 2016
In an alternate universe where I've been a tv bigwig, I'd create a show like ER or Gray's Anatomy and over the course of the third and fourth seasons slowly and seamlessly transition it to a total-total-grimdark plaguepocalypse show. Maybe with 28-days-later style ragezombies.
It's a shame -- there actually are a few shows and books that do this, but to recommend them would completely defeat the purpose.
As for this one -- I almost never click the link without glancing at the Meta commentary first, but for whatever reason I did this time despite the incredibly generic description. Must be late after a hard day. But anyway, so glad I did; it's so rare to be actually plot-twisted these days. It would be nice if there were some repository of great stuff where, say, 10% had twists -- so you never knew which would have it, but the probability was decent and the variety of genres sufficient that you also never knew what kind of plot twist it would be. It seems like there's a whole subgenre of twist movies that go studiously unheralded, and totally missed by me. But I can't think of how to get people to recommend them, and I half think their existence is just a wishful conspiracy I've made up.
posted by chortly at 9:28 PM on January 21, 2016
It's a shame -- there actually are a few shows and books that do this, but to recommend them would completely defeat the purpose.
As for this one -- I almost never click the link without glancing at the Meta commentary first, but for whatever reason I did this time despite the incredibly generic description. Must be late after a hard day. But anyway, so glad I did; it's so rare to be actually plot-twisted these days. It would be nice if there were some repository of great stuff where, say, 10% had twists -- so you never knew which would have it, but the probability was decent and the variety of genres sufficient that you also never knew what kind of plot twist it would be. It seems like there's a whole subgenre of twist movies that go studiously unheralded, and totally missed by me. But I can't think of how to get people to recommend them, and I half think their existence is just a wishful conspiracy I've made up.
posted by chortly at 9:28 PM on January 21, 2016
It's a shame -- there actually are a few shows and books that do this, but to recommend them would completely defeat the purpose.
Can you rot13 the shows at me? Because knowing in advance that it was going to shift wouldn't bother me.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:07 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
Can you rot13 the shows at me? Because knowing in advance that it was going to shift wouldn't bother me.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:07 PM on January 21, 2016 [2 favorites]
chortly: "
It's a shame -- there actually are a few shows and books that do this, but to recommend them would completely defeat the purpose."
Frk Ubhfr
Qbyyubhfr nyfb qbrf guvf jvgu na noehcg whzc gb gur (irel qnex) shgher ng gur raq bs gur svefg frnfba.
Sevatr nyfb znxrf n fvzvyne whzc gb n qlfgbcvna shgher, nygubhtu gung bar zvtug or n ovg zber cerqvpgnoyr.
(Use rot13.com to decode)
I too would be interested in hearing about other works that do this.
posted by schmod at 9:21 AM on January 22, 2016
It's a shame -- there actually are a few shows and books that do this, but to recommend them would completely defeat the purpose."
Frk Ubhfr
Qbyyubhfr nyfb qbrf guvf jvgu na noehcg whzc gb gur (irel qnex) shgher ng gur raq bs gur svefg frnfba.
Sevatr nyfb znxrf n fvzvyne whzc gb n qlfgbcvna shgher, nygubhtu gung bar zvtug or n ovg zber cerqvpgnoyr.
(Use rot13.com to decode)
I too would be interested in hearing about other works that do this.
posted by schmod at 9:21 AM on January 22, 2016
'Til Death, in which a supporting character realizes he is in a sitcom.
posted by Etrigan at 10:15 AM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Etrigan at 10:15 AM on January 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
"Person of Interest" kind of does this. In the first season it's sort of a high tech A Team thing where our intrepid heroes save people every week, and then vg fybjyl gheaf vagb fbzr xvaq bs onggyvat-NVf qlfgbcvna shgher.
posted by rmd1023 at 1:51 PM on January 24, 2016
posted by rmd1023 at 1:51 PM on January 24, 2016
Joey Soprano and his family were caught in a diner during the first waves of the Great Harvest.
posted by benzenedream at 8:17 AM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by benzenedream at 8:17 AM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
In an alternate universe where I've been a tv bigwig, I'd create a show like ER or Gray's Anatomy and over the course of the third and fourth seasons slowly and seamlessly transition it to a total-total-grimdark plaguepocalypse show. Maybe with 28-days-later style ragezombies.
I think there's a possibility that's how Baywatch Nights came to be.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:09 PM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
I think there's a possibility that's how Baywatch Nights came to be.
posted by lmfsilva at 12:09 PM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
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posted by mhoye at 12:13 PM on January 21, 2016 [7 favorites]