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January 23, 2016 10:00 AM Subscribe
Are we sure this isn't the latest Ween track?
posted by Requiax at 10:12 AM on January 23, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by Requiax at 10:12 AM on January 23, 2016 [10 favorites]
The down side of never watching live TV is that I miss amazing stuff like this.
posted by octothorpe at 10:14 AM on January 23, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 10:14 AM on January 23, 2016 [7 favorites]
Commercials like these are the primary reason I don't watch the Cartoon Network anymore even if I happen to love one of their shows. Even at normal speed, these things are kind of creepy and gross.
posted by surazal at 10:21 AM on January 23, 2016
posted by surazal at 10:21 AM on January 23, 2016
Mod note: One comment deleted. Mblue, take a day off.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:22 AM on January 23, 2016
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:22 AM on January 23, 2016
ALL THE FOOD IS POISON
posted by zchyrs at 10:35 AM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by zchyrs at 10:35 AM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
so the whelkster found his shnow schwag shtash
posted by lalochezia at 10:35 AM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by lalochezia at 10:35 AM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
Well, this is my religion now. Honey, pizza, cheese, these are my sacraments.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 10:35 AM on January 23, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 10:35 AM on January 23, 2016 [8 favorites]
The 80s were a more innocent time.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:45 AM on January 23, 2016
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:45 AM on January 23, 2016
The 80s were a more innocent time.
Especially in NYC, amirite?
posted by kozad at 10:50 AM on January 23, 2016
Especially in NYC, amirite?
posted by kozad at 10:50 AM on January 23, 2016
ALL THE FOOD IS POISON
Spoiler warnings please!!!
posted by fairmettle at 10:51 AM on January 23, 2016
Spoiler warnings please!!!
posted by fairmettle at 10:51 AM on January 23, 2016
How do you even get banned for commenting on a slowed down turkey jerkey commercial.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:54 AM on January 23, 2016 [53 favorites]
posted by Wolfdog at 10:54 AM on January 23, 2016 [53 favorites]
> Are we sure this isn't the latest Ween track?
i believe you're thinking of Where'd the Cheese Go?
posted by contraption at 10:56 AM on January 23, 2016 [5 favorites]
i believe you're thinking of Where'd the Cheese Go?
posted by contraption at 10:56 AM on January 23, 2016 [5 favorites]
Gimme Piiz-zaaaaaaa.
Obligatory Paula Deen
posted by slater at 11:08 AM on January 23, 2016 [6 favorites]
Obligatory Paula Deen
posted by slater at 11:08 AM on January 23, 2016 [6 favorites]
If I were slightly less lazy and slightly more talented I would undertake a recording of the slowed down version as a sludge rock anthem.
...And now I'm sad to find that my favorite already-weird-video-becomes-nightmarish-at-half-speed clip of Riddle and Phelps Eefing and Hamboning has been yanked for copyright violation. (Link goes to regular speed clip which inexplicably remains online.)
posted by usonian at 11:20 AM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
...And now I'm sad to find that my favorite already-weird-video-becomes-nightmarish-at-half-speed clip of Riddle and Phelps Eefing and Hamboning has been yanked for copyright violation. (Link goes to regular speed clip which inexplicably remains online.)
posted by usonian at 11:20 AM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
Needs more pentagrams.
posted by lagomorphius at 11:23 AM on January 23, 2016
posted by lagomorphius at 11:23 AM on January 23, 2016
Am I the only one totally bothered by the belching?
posted by rock swoon has no past at 11:36 AM on January 23, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by rock swoon has no past at 11:36 AM on January 23, 2016 [5 favorites]
Put a red curtain behind it, adjust the lighting, desaturate the foreground, and voila, instant David Lynch featurette.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 11:51 AM on January 23, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 11:51 AM on January 23, 2016 [3 favorites]
Obligatory Paula Deen
Thanks a lot for that... Now where am I going to get a donut burger with bacon & egg around here?
posted by MtDewd at 11:54 AM on January 23, 2016
Thanks a lot for that... Now where am I going to get a donut burger with bacon & egg around here?
posted by MtDewd at 11:54 AM on January 23, 2016
If you watch this commercial backwards, DJ Screw will visit you in 3 days.
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:08 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:08 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
This just made my day! When I watched the original ad, it seemed so "normal" and familiar even though I had never seen it before. Thankfully, the slower version allowed me to see the true frightening nature of the product. Honey-flavored meatsticks, I mean, REALLY?!
The good news is that snack food in the US has gotten way more delicious and awesome since the 90s. Unfortunately, the bad news is that these snacks, engineered-for-maximum-deliciousness, are partially responsible for the the current obesity epidemic in the US.
Gobblestix? The thought alone ruins my appetite. Spicy sweet chili Doritos on the other hand? Just can't get enough!
posted by smorgasbord at 12:35 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
The good news is that snack food in the US has gotten way more delicious and awesome since the 90s. Unfortunately, the bad news is that these snacks, engineered-for-maximum-deliciousness, are partially responsible for the the current obesity epidemic in the US.
Gobblestix? The thought alone ruins my appetite. Spicy sweet chili Doritos on the other hand? Just can't get enough!
posted by smorgasbord at 12:35 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
Well that was fun! I was surprised this "food" was from the 90s and not the 80s. However, I guess they could have been manufactured in the 80s and then sold in the 90s.
posted by Muncle at 1:32 PM on January 23, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Muncle at 1:32 PM on January 23, 2016 [2 favorites]
"We've got ten tons of grade Z turkey meat, any idea what we can do with it before foisting it off as cat food?"
posted by destro at 3:01 PM on January 23, 2016
posted by destro at 3:01 PM on January 23, 2016
WITCH HOUSE BANGIN TRAX GΔBBLƎS†IX (▲NDRΛS DEMIX)
posted by FatherDagon at 8:46 PM on January 23, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by FatherDagon at 8:46 PM on January 23, 2016 [2 favorites]
The best of the genre. Grandma steals the show.
posted by sourwookie at 9:50 PM on January 23, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by sourwookie at 9:50 PM on January 23, 2016 [3 favorites]
sourwookie: "The best of the genre. Grandma steals the show."
On the edge of my fucking seat with fear and dread until 1:33, when they finally reveal what the baby bullet is for: making baby food.
posted by Bugbread at 8:27 PM on January 24, 2016
On the edge of my fucking seat with fear and dread until 1:33, when they finally reveal what the baby bullet is for: making baby food.
posted by Bugbread at 8:27 PM on January 24, 2016
...should not have commented until watching the rest of the video...
posted by Bugbread at 8:29 PM on January 24, 2016
posted by Bugbread at 8:29 PM on January 24, 2016
Where I live, a gobble is slang for a blowjob, which makes this substantially worse/funnier.
posted by cincinnatus c at 3:01 AM on January 25, 2016
posted by cincinnatus c at 3:01 AM on January 25, 2016
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posted by mazola at 10:05 AM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]