This Dog Had A Song Too Powerful To Ignore

February 11, 2016 5:34 PM

These People Were Told Their Dog Would Never Make Noises Like A Panicking Terrified Human. What Happened Next Will Amaze You.
posted by Greg Nog (67 comments total)

My wife said these are good people for loving a dog like that.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 5:37 PM on February 11, 2016 [15 favorites]

I am very glad that I don't have a dog that does that, my cats don't do that, my roommates don't do that, and aside from my computer right now, nothing I regularly interact with does that.
posted by aubilenon at 5:39 PM on February 11, 2016 [33 favorites]

Things like this make my wife roll her eyes while I laugh uncontrollably.
posted by Mooski at 5:44 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Their poor neighbors. Their poor, poor neighbors.
posted by yasaman at 5:48 PM on February 11, 2016 [21 favorites]

fake
posted by likeatoaster at 5:48 PM on February 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'm going to go ahead and assume this is...audioshopped? But if not, there's either a horrifying story in the past or one in the future (when the SWAT team arrives after a call from the neighbors).
posted by uosuaq at 5:48 PM on February 11, 2016

No listen I'm a brilliant researcher but I can't think about anything but food, my deep endless hunger and how much I want to smell a butt. I'm trapped, this is torture, please let me lick that cat poop. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME THROW THE BALL I CHASE.

brilliant - I was brilliant - what has happened to my mind
posted by idiopath at 5:49 PM on February 11, 2016 [24 favorites]

is this another promo for the new doom?
posted by mittens at 5:52 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Some dogs do have the ability to mimic other dogs. My basenji rat terrier mix not only learned how to bay like a beagle, but he taught another dog how to do it.
posted by jonp72 at 5:52 PM on February 11, 2016 [6 favorites]

Foxes sometimes make a sound a good bit like that (this is not a bad example, although it's not a really spectacular one), and if you're lucky, you'll have the chance to observe someone hearing it for the first time in the dark woods at night.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:55 PM on February 11, 2016 [9 favorites]

Baby goat getting a bath
posted by Brian B. at 5:59 PM on February 11, 2016 [20 favorites]

I can't decide whether that is completely hilarious or fucking creepy as all hell. Well done, dog, well done indeed.
posted by lock sock and barrel at 6:00 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

This is the noise I make when my alarm goes off in the morning.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:01 PM on February 11, 2016 [22 favorites]

If I had this dog I would spend half my time getting it to do this and then ask it questions like, "Trump for Prez?" and "What do you think of babies?" and laughing my ass off.
posted by barchan at 6:05 PM on February 11, 2016 [24 favorites]

The happy wagging tail makes this doubly unsettling.
posted by obfuscation at 6:10 PM on February 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

omg. clearly the poor thing hates the name "cody"!
posted by sheldman at 6:22 PM on February 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

The new Bloodborne DLC is lookin' good.
posted by codacorolla at 6:23 PM on February 11, 2016 [7 favorites]

This is a pet I want. Can't exactly explain why besides knowing I would be laughing my ass off every day. I also want one of those screaming goats. Having one would be reason enough to move to a farm . . . or reason enough to put up with pissed off neighbors.
posted by blairsyprofane at 6:25 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

My house sounds like this.
posted by underflow at 6:25 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Gaspode?
posted by JohnFromGR at 6:26 PM on February 11, 2016 [14 favorites]

I've come to believe the dog was really the voice in this scene.

But further video graphic and sound spectrometry analysis, coupled with doggie being surrounded by cats, leds me to conclude the dog was the original voice over for this scene.
posted by clavdivs at 6:27 PM on February 11, 2016

This is my interior monologue 65% of the time.

The other 35% it's an uncanny imitation of Yosemite Sam.
posted by Lemmy Caution at 6:35 PM on February 11, 2016 [17 favorites]

This video contains the only YouTube comment ever worth reading:

That is a man's soul trapped in the body of a dog. He is screaming in existential horror. It's a nightmare from which he can never awake. -- Galkatokk 3 months ago
posted by procrastination at 6:44 PM on February 11, 2016 [17 favorites]

Man, my cats are so disgusted with me right now.
posted by mudpuppie at 6:46 PM on February 11, 2016

AAUUUUGH AAAAAAAAUUUUGHH AAAAAIGH AAAAAAAUUUUUGH
posted by mwhybark at 6:47 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

That dog sounds a lot like this seal.
posted by VTX at 6:48 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I will never not laugh at animals screaming like humans. It's just automatic to me.

Foxes sometimes make a sound a good bit like that (this is not a bad example yt , although it's not a really spectacular one)

In related videos there's a compilation video of fox noises includes a bit of that video.
posted by numaner at 6:54 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

They should have named him Wilhelm.
posted by Bromius at 6:55 PM on February 11, 2016 [40 favorites]

I think my baby monitor is malfunctioning.

(Also the baby goat video linked by Brian B., above, is my new #1 most favorite thing.)
posted by uncleozzy at 7:06 PM on February 11, 2016

Oh, god, I just watched that and my dog freaked out. Make it stop!
posted by suelac at 7:08 PM on February 11, 2016

I laughed until about halfway through when its voice broke, the way a man's does when he is wailing in despair over the sudden loss of a loved one. Disturbing.
posted by mrbigmuscles at 7:11 PM on February 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

My (asshole) pug makes a weird screamy human noise once every four months or so...it freaks me out every single time. Normally it's over a food item that he wants. Like I said, he's an asshole. An adorable little asshole.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 7:19 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Also the baby goat video linked by Brian B., above, is my new #1 most favorite thing

My favorite goat vid will always and forever be the hey goat vine.
posted by barchan at 7:19 PM on February 11, 2016 [27 favorites]

One morning a while back I got up especially early for a run. I had recently moved and was still trying out different routes and feeling a bit uncomfortable running at all, really.

I think it was around halloween but I remember it being particularly cold and expecting it to be particularly dark... but instead there was this near-full moon giving off an eerie sort of light (everyone was talking about super moons back then but I don't remember if this was one). This morning I had got up earlier than normal and in my half-sleep I was seeing things as I started to run. A shape like a faded ghost. Strange sounds and lights like I couldn't process their source. It was just kind of spooky out.

Early in the run I turned onto a residential side street that goes by two little parks. The roads were empty and I hadn't seen a soul and I found myself struggling, breathing heavily and lumbering down the middle of the road when I hear this girl scream. It was this blood-curdling scream of distress, just ahead, near a house by the wooded park. My breathing stopped and I continued to move only out of inertia. What was that? It sounded distinctly human. I think. Did I just witness a crime? I'm the only one out here, what do I do? I had these weird reflexive primal thoughts of fear, stealth, heroism. I continued wide awake, with slower strides, and tried to process the sound. Did I imagine it? No, it was too real.

Before I can make up my mind about it, there's another cry and I realize it's a dog. Just a dog. Barking at me. Either its voice needed to warm up, or I misheard the first time. But I finished the run with relief.

You know, I stopped running in the early mornings.. In fact I don't run at all any more.
posted by Flaffigan at 7:38 PM on February 11, 2016 [7 favorites]

You're the dog, aren't you? Mr Fluffigans...
posted by smidgen at 7:57 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Awww, it's the screamapillar of the doggie world.
posted by kcds at 7:59 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

This is what I imagined things sounding like when someone informed Mr. Trump that he had lost in Iowa.
posted by 4ster at 8:13 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

FUCK, man, I could have been internet famous for a little bit had things just been shifted in time a little: I had a dog that screamed like this when I was a kid. It was mostly that she would get excited enough that the interval between barks became more and more elided until it just turned into a (higher pitched than with the FPP) version of what you see above.
posted by invitapriore at 8:22 PM on February 11, 2016

All that is to say I had a Human-screaming Dog Before It Was Cool
posted by invitapriore at 8:22 PM on February 11, 2016 [9 favorites]

Also FPP in that first comment stands for Front Page Puppy
posted by invitapriore at 8:22 PM on February 11, 2016

I laughed until about halfway through when its voice broke, the way a man's does when he is wailing in despair over the sudden loss of a loved one. Disturbing.

I can't not hear this in Werner Herzog's voice.
posted by palomar at 8:29 PM on February 11, 2016 [25 favorites]

Somebody needs to make a supercut of that over great tragic movie scenes. Like the end of Se7en, the torture scene in Braveheart, hell even the scene where Theoden is screaming Death! at the Rohirrim before they charge down the hill. I'd probably laugh myself into a hernia.

Still, the best is undercover Freddie Mercury trolling a bunch of turkeys.
posted by Existential Dread at 8:30 PM on February 11, 2016 [17 favorites]

Well I watched that whole thing. I don't know why. I guess I was expecting some sort of surprise ending. You know what we would call that dog in my house? Dead dog.
posted by AugustWest at 8:36 PM on February 11, 2016

Their poor neighbors. Their poor, poor neighbors.

One of the two huskies next door used to sound a lot like that. (Only not quite so emotional.) Maybe it stopped making that sound because of aging... I don’t think it actually was murdered.

Fortunately, a lot of the year in this part of Maine involves winter, so the dogs stay inside a great deal of the time.
posted by LeLiLo at 8:39 PM on February 11, 2016

The Hey Goat Vine? Are we going to Mars for the goats?
posted by Oyéah at 9:12 PM on February 11, 2016

He sounds like he's been de-barked at some point. Can't imagine why.
posted by fshgrl at 9:40 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I can't stop laughing at this but my dog got really agitated and is now desperately pressing her nose into my knee for reassurance.
posted by mochapickle at 9:56 PM on February 11, 2016

Now hunting for more alarming pet sound videos.
posted by mochapickle at 9:57 PM on February 11, 2016

Now hunting for more alarming pet sound videos.

Oh, here you go.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:20 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

For all licensing inquiries please contact: info(at)homevideolicensing(dot)com

That's the primary text on the youtube page. So really it's just another cynical cash grab. Fuck that.
posted by Doleful Creature at 10:32 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Don't forget the classic Bob! Help! It's Ed!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:24 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

brilliant - I was brilliant - what has happened to my mind

The two hemispheres are fundamentally at odds

This is the noise I make when my alarm goes off in the morning.

This is now the noise my alarm will make.
posted by flabdablet at 1:21 AM on February 12, 2016

This is obviously a propaganda video, and it's the reason why cats are winning the Internet.
posted by Elmore at 1:28 AM on February 12, 2016

I think those people need to check their home for pods.
posted by quazichimp at 1:49 AM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm imagining an alternate timeline where upright walking dogs rule the planet, and the ones with midlife crises pay thousands of dollars to go to a retreat in woods and wail like their pet human in order to unleash their emotions and tap into a less developed, more primal form of expression.
posted by codacorolla at 6:15 AM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

I've never been so glad that I'm a cat person.
posted by elizilla at 6:25 AM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

That dog's name should be Kinison, not fucking Cody.
posted by nevercalm at 6:42 AM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

new ringtone!

Coooody

Coo-ooody
posted by mwhybark at 7:40 AM on February 12, 2016

When you hear that noise, you will know I am telepathically controlling the dog and also that I am in a marketing meeting which is about social media strategy or perhaps client feedback or maybe about the internet of things and big data and toilets.

that is where the noise comes from.
posted by Devonian at 8:48 AM on February 12, 2016

I recently heard of truly nasty people who mass-produce popular small breeds and actually have the vocal chords cut in the puppies because many of their customers prefer to purchase their pets without the yapping. I wonder if this could be one of those, gone wrong.
posted by holist at 9:00 AM on February 12, 2016

That dog's name should be Kinison, not fucking Cody.
posted by nevercalm 4 ¾ hours ago

Eponysterical.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:33 AM on February 12, 2016

Goat imitates chicken
posted by seiryuu at 11:37 AM on February 12, 2016 [3 favorites]

They need to breed this feature into some sort of guard dog, like a Screaming Shepherd. No one would EVER break into my house again.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:44 AM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]

> Having one would be reason enough to move to a farm . . . or reason enough to put up with pissed off neighbors

My neighbors are pissed-off goats, so I get to hear that sound all the time!

> One of the two huskies next door used to sound a lot like that

Guess who lives on the other side of the goats.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:08 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]

They need to breed this feature into some sort of guard dog, like a Screaming Shepherd. No one would EVER break into my house again.

Borzoi do it better.
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:05 AM on February 13, 2016 [1 favorite]

I want this dog's voice* mashed up with the New Kids on the Block Disneyland Superbowl Show. Screeching, boybands and Mickey. Thank you Metafilter for all that you bring to my little world.



*His face is also a beautiful thing when he howls.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 4:36 PM on February 13, 2016

That was literally physically distressing to hear. I was on the verge of crying by the end of the video. If it weren't for the fact that the dog looked quite happy with the waggy tail, I think I would have burst out crying.
posted by Alnedra at 10:26 PM on February 14, 2016