what to expect when you're expecting to go to jail

March 15, 2016 2:22 AM

Alex Cavendish is an ex-prisoner who blogs about all aspects of UK prison life. Whether you want to prepare yourself mentally, are wondering what to pack, worried about weight gain, or need tips on cooking dinner in your cell, Alex has (incredibly detailed) answers to your questions.

He also critiques prison policy (from the general to the specific [NSFW]) and in this article, reflects on whether his time in prison made him a better person.

Bonus post: 101 things to do in a prison cell.

Previously on the blue in a similar vein.

posted by girlgenius (14 comments total)

There's a lot of really interesting material here, thanks for the post.
posted by billiebee at 2:48 AM on March 15, 2016

I look forward to the conversation I'm going to have with the IT dept and HR for reading through these at work...
posted by thingonaspring at 3:40 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Thanks, was planning a long, paid for holiday and was about to start researching. Saved me the trouble.
posted by greenhornet at 3:44 AM on March 15, 2016

UK prison life, yeah. Pertaining to the United States in general, previously on Metafilter, (cited link is dead) you can still link up using the wonderful Wayback Machine (please consider contributing for their wonderful work). Also, Jim Hogshire's classic, You Are Going To Prison, a bit long in the tooth but still pertinent today.
posted by WinstonJulia at 4:22 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

I've heard you should get in a fight to show how crazy you are, sort of like how you are supposed to destroy the copier in a rage your first week at a new job, so that they won't ever ask you to fix it.
posted by thelonius at 5:48 AM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]

*crosses fingers that thelonius never has to find out the hard way how stupid that advice is*
posted by billiebee at 5:56 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is a fantastic post. The author writes like a real gentleman. Really interesting.
posted by werkzeuger at 6:18 AM on March 15, 2016

*crosses fingers that thelonius never has to find out the hard way how stupid that advice is*

My job situation is pretty stable these days, thanks.
posted by thelonius at 6:23 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]

Does he ever say what his crime allegedly was? I saw that it's a pseudonym, that he was a first time offender in his 40s, that he served 3 years, and that he's still appealing the conviction, but not if he ever said what the conviction was and now I'm dead curious.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:54 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]

Wow. Reading some parts of that brought me out in a cold sweat.
posted by DZ-015 at 8:41 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]

At least UK nicks don't seem as hellish as US corporate for-profit prisons.
posted by monotreme at 11:01 AM on March 15, 2016

The movie Let's Go To Prison, purportedly based v-e-r-y loosely on Hogshire's book, wasn't the best by any means but this scene really stood out, "Like a prison."

Oh, and DZ, one of the articles that pointed out, the door was closed and there was no handle on the inside - that induces a bit of cold sweat. Oh yeah.
posted by WinstonJulia at 8:16 PM on March 15, 2016

winterhill I can't favourite that comment enough.
posted by billiebee at 5:01 AM on March 16, 2016

I did it for you billiebee :)
posted by longbaugh at 5:13 AM on March 16, 2016 [1 favorite]