Enraptured contemplation of a pure assthetic ideal

April 1, 2016 3:57 PM

In Defense of "Thong Song".
posted by naju (41 comments total)

I have long marvelled at the beauty and elegance of the line "she had dumps like a truck, truck, truck" and might I add that as a lady in possession of thighs like what, what, what I felt somewhat affirmed by Mr Sisqo's praise.
posted by billiebee at 4:13 PM on April 1, 2016 [29 favorites]

(if by "what" he meant "big". who the fuck knows what he was talking about)
posted by billiebee at 4:14 PM on April 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

I like to think the "what" is a signifier for words just completely failing our man Sisqo. "Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent." -Wittgenstein
posted by naju at 4:18 PM on April 1, 2016 [43 favorites]

Nelly's Tip Drill is a dark reflection of this assthetic.
posted by kittensofthenight at 4:19 PM on April 1, 2016

That key change, though.

Thong Song came out when I was in high school, and I was enraptured by that key change. Enough so, that it made me (a drummer) decide to really sit down and learn some music theory.

I studied classical and flamenco guitar, picked up piano, eventually some flute, and I've been writing music for at least 10 years. All thanks to Sisqo.

didn't hurt that the song was about hot booty
posted by special agent conrad uno at 4:20 PM on April 1, 2016 [54 favorites]

NSFW
posted by kittensofthenight at 4:20 PM on April 1, 2016

I fucking LOVE the video for Thong Song. That big crescendo on the beach culminating in black light/orchestra/super nova madness? Perfect.
posted by brundlefly at 4:46 PM on April 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

WHOA WHOA WHOOOOOAA

Sisqo lives in MAPLE GROVE, MN??!?
posted by triggerfinger at 4:47 PM on April 1, 2016 [12 favorites]

truly a man ahead of his time
posted by likeatoaster at 4:49 PM on April 1, 2016

"The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward ass."
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:50 PM on April 1, 2016 [22 favorites]

Honestly my favorite part of the video is Sisqo's actual daughter holding up the thong at the beginning. I love the song, too, obviously.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 4:59 PM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

, until “Thong Song” rises up like a euphoric boner that belongs equally to every one of us, throbbing in enraptured contemplation of a pure assthetic ideal.
I fall into the third category. I was 15-19 from 1999-2003 and just surrounded and inundated by a pop music culture that I just found completely shallow and boring and often nonsensical and/or straight up offensive ("I never want to hear you say, I want it that way"??). This made me very depressed as a youth and this song was a major offender. It was not escapable. It was shrill and discordant and repetitive and what it was repeating wasn't interesting to me. Because it's about someone's boner and who honestly gives a shit. I'm glad it's a body positive song and made people feel good about themselves.
posted by bleep at 5:10 PM on April 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

Yeah but I like shrill and discordant and repetitive, which is why at that time I was also getting into Kate Bush and Steve Reich.
posted by special agent conrad uno at 5:15 PM on April 1, 2016 [7 favorites]

I can honestly say I'd never heard this song before. (I'd heard of it, but was a grownass adult in 1999 and didn't ever listen to the radio/watch MTV/come into contact with any number of cultural touchstones.) That video was... something, of that I am sure.
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:27 PM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

surrounded and inundated by a pop music culture that I just found completely shallow and boring and often nonsensical and/or straight up offensive

To be fair, that applies to any generation's pop music culture.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:27 PM on April 1, 2016 [4 favorites]

I just realized that my comment sounds snarkish; what I meant is:

Steve Reich is like this maximal-minimalism, impossible for a kid to comprehend, but I just knew that I like being associated with experimentalism. Kate Bush is like minimal-maximalism, and her genius so complete that I was (and still am) lost in it.

Pop music, on the other hand, was comprehensible. It was like eating a hamburger and realizing, oh hey, I could make this myself. As a teenager this was my only song-writing point of understanding, and Thong Song was one of the first to really stoke my desires to learn composition.

When I was 20 I learned about Krecs and Mirah and Beat Happening and Cody Chestnutt etc, but that just solidified what I'd already discovered: pop music is fun to make.
posted by special agent conrad uno at 5:27 PM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

There are three songs that, when I think of them, get stuck in my head forever. They are the Bacon Pancake song from Adventure Time, "Smooth" by Santana and "The Thong Song." Now all three are stuck in my head. I have only myself to blame.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:32 PM on April 1, 2016 [6 favorites]

Mostly my highschool years sucked hardcore, but this song used to cheer me up. Whenever I hear it I walk around for a few days singing "Thong, th-thong thong, thong."
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:36 PM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

the Bacon Pancake song from Adventure Time

God damn it!
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:50 PM on April 1, 2016 [12 favorites]

I never forgave Sisqo for letting all the ladies know what guys talk about. Some things should remain a mystery.
posted by dr_dank at 6:02 PM on April 1, 2016 [11 favorites]

Bacon Pancakes for Peanut Butter Jelly Time in a Thong.
posted by srboisvert at 6:30 PM on April 1, 2016

I was thinkin' we could get together back home, and, I dunno, pop in the Sisqo CD and
posted by rhizome at 6:48 PM on April 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

I like to think the "what" is a signifier for words just completely failing our man Sisqo. "Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent." -Wittgenstein

Now there are two names I never expected to hear in the same sentence.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:02 PM on April 1, 2016 [8 favorites]

I think, fellows, we need to look deeper.

If, for example, we know from Samwell what a double what refers to, surely we can theorise that three whats is somehow related, somehow... more intense.
posted by Mezentian at 8:47 PM on April 1, 2016

Actually, change that, we have no idea, only suppositions, about what Samwell refers to.
So we need to find the original 'what'.
posted by Mezentian at 9:04 PM on April 1, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think I found this interview on the blue a while ago, but the following line made my eyes pop out of my skull:

"The genius of 'The Thong Song' is its simplicity. There’s only one verse, which Sisqo repeats in different ways."

I've listened to the song a ton but... never realized that. Each part (movement?) of the song felt so... distinct.

I love the Thong Song.
posted by raihan_ at 11:49 PM on April 1, 2016 [5 favorites]

I DON'T THINK YA HEAAAAAARD ME
posted by naju at 2:12 AM on April 2, 2016

[SAND POUND]
posted by naju at 2:12 AM on April 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have pondered on this for many hours now, and I believe we can use Faith No More as a Rosetta Stone, perhaps, to unlock what "what" is.

Because, lo, in the dimly forgotten era we know now as the 'early '90s' did not the song 'Epic' tell us "what is it? You say what is it"?

Its it a question or a buried message?

Perhaps playing the song backwards will tell me.
I will report my findings anon.
posted by Mezentian at 3:58 AM on April 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Watching the video just now, I was reminded of Ginuwine's In Those Jeans. Both songs feature R&B artists singing about items of women's apparel in overly dramatic fashion. If I could identify a few more songs like these, I could assemble a pretty awesome Spotify playlist.
posted by crLLC at 5:45 AM on April 2, 2016 [2 favorites]

I wish I felt as strongly about anything in my life as Sisqo feels about thongs by the end of this song.
posted by calculon at 6:23 AM on April 2, 2016 [7 favorites]

Okay, but thongs go on your feet.
posted by dumbland at 7:22 AM on April 2, 2016 [3 favorites]

I have pondered on this for many hours now, and I believe we can use Faith No More as a Rosetta Stone, perhaps, to unlock what "what" is.

Because, lo, in the dimly forgotten era we know now as the 'early '90s' did not the song 'Epic' tell us "what is it? You say what is it"?

The song itself provides the answers you seek. "What is it?" "It's it!"
posted by AndrewInDC at 7:45 AM on April 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

I had just started working at LAX at terminal 3, which had outgoing flights to Austrailia.

I was one of those people telling passengers to take off their shoes, bags out of the laptop, put it in the X-ray, etc.

This beautiful, Amazon blonde rushes up to me, breathless. "Do I have to take off my thong?" she asks me in an Aussie accent.

I totally locked up for a moment as she waited for my response. Then I realized she said thongs and was pointing at her feet.

"Yes," I finally manage to stutter. "Please put them in the X-ray."
posted by Monday at 9:09 AM on April 2, 2016 [4 favorites]

Okay, but jandals go on your feet, according to this text from a Mad Arab I am reading.
posted by Mezentian at 9:15 AM on April 2, 2016

“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Butts LOL R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.”
posted by Mezentian at 9:17 AM on April 2, 2016

I was listening to this while watching the Thong Song video. Somehow made it even more surreal.
posted by Ber at 10:15 AM on April 2, 2016

If I could identify a few more songs like these, I could assemble a pretty awesome Spotify playlist.
For your consideration: "Apple Bottom Jeans" by T-Pain
posted by clorox at 10:30 AM on April 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Mezentian, jandals are for Kiwis. Australians wear thongs on our feet. The item of underwear known as a 'thong' is in fact a g-string.

So now you know.
posted by prismatic7 at 4:58 PM on April 2, 2016

Sisqo is from Baltimore!!! Charm City Pride!!!

Because it's about someone's boner and who honestly gives a shit.

I like a lot of songs about boners.
posted by josher71 at 6:00 AM on April 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

For example...
posted by josher71 at 6:01 AM on April 3, 2016