How to mindfully eat popcorn

April 18, 2016 2:51 PM

One kernel at a time (SLYT)
posted by Johnny Wallflower (30 comments total)

i know what i'm going to do next time i'm at the movies
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:57 PM on April 18, 2016

I don't know why this is so hilarious, but it is.
posted by spacewaitress at 3:04 PM on April 18, 2016

Tim Hunkin built a fully automatic one.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 3:05 PM on April 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

Oddly watchable. 5/5
posted by doctor_negative at 3:07 PM on April 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

I cannot handle suspense like this. Had to close the tab.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 3:18 PM on April 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Reminds me of waffle poots.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:21 PM on April 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

To garnish: Melt 1/8 tsp butter, add 2 granules kosher salt, pour over kernel.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:42 PM on April 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

(parsley sprig optional)
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:42 PM on April 18, 2016

the opposite (sort of)
posted by philip-random at 3:58 PM on April 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

The Uncle Sam machine processes grains one by one, focusing on the transformation of corn into popcorn. An explosion that usually occurs en masse is here isolated so that the spectacle can be enjoyed. Satisfaction is at once visual and gastronomic.
posted by peeedro at 4:02 PM on April 18, 2016 [3 favorites]

Worst way to make popcorn.
posted by chavenet at 4:09 PM on April 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

This is how my roommate eats popcorn, except he uses a spoon and a lighter. I get the mindfulness part but why do it in the bathroom with the door closed? Never made much sense to me.
posted by dephlogisticated at 4:15 PM on April 18, 2016 [11 favorites]

Worst way to make popcorn.

Ugh, no kidding. I bet that smelled beyond horrible. I noticed about halfway through that he tried one - you could hear him spitting it out in disgust.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:18 PM on April 18, 2016

The opposite.
posted by lucidium at 4:18 PM on April 18, 2016 [5 favorites]

Build an automated version of it, mount it on a drone with a restful API on the dispatcher server, and pitch it as JIT-popcorn-as-a-service.
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:30 PM on April 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

As the drone arrives it could text you so you could go outside, stand looking up with your mouth open, and receive your delivery.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:02 PM on April 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

So many good links in this thread!
posted by Bugbread at 5:16 PM on April 18, 2016

Make the drone look like a bird.

Poopcorn.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:18 PM on April 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

ffff wins naming rights to my next post.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 5:24 PM on April 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Popcorn is surprisingly immune to red-hot metal.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 5:25 PM on April 18, 2016

ffff [sic] wins naming rights to my next post.

No matter the subject?
posted by Confess, Fletch at 6:11 PM on April 18, 2016

ITYM poopject.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:38 PM on April 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

ffff [sic] wins naming rights to my next post.

feckless fecal freedom fighter, I guess.

No matter the subject?

Of course. I can rely on his good taste and restraint and oh I'm so screwed
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:21 PM on April 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

CACKLING
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:27 PM on April 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Because of this damn post I had to (1) go out and buy nutritional yeast, and (2) come home and make popcorn for dinner. I hope you're proud of yourselves.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:32 PM on April 18, 2016

(Also, I couldn't bear the thought of cooking the kernels one by one, so I cheated with an air popper - not quite the impressive cannon in lucidium's video, but it nevertheless performed a semi-satisfying popcorn-spewing event.)
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:42 PM on April 18, 2016

Build an automated version of it, mount it on a drone with a restful API on the dispatcher server, and pitch it as JIT-popcorn-as-a-service.

The 21st century way to lead your duck army into battle.
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:30 AM on April 19, 2016

The Uncle Sam machine vimeo processes grains one by one

That is a truly beautiful device. I love the capture mechanism too.
posted by mayonnaises at 8:25 AM on April 19, 2016

The Uncle Sam machine vimeo processes grains one by one, focusing on the transformation of corn into popcorn.

It was fine until the end, in which he squandered the opportunity to eat a single kernel of popcorn with a fork and knife.
posted by vanar sena at 12:50 AM on April 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

fffm, check your MeMail.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:55 AM on April 21, 2016