Physicists and their love-hate relationship with animals

April 29, 2016 12:00 PM

On the one hand, physicists sure do love cute baby animals and clever puns. On the other hand, animals can really mess things up sometimes.
posted by cynical pinnacle (26 comments total)

In my 'hood there's a squirrel hanging by its teeth from an overhead powerline that's been there for... geez, weeks now. Clearly it was on one wire and reached up to chew on the next wire and... zap. clench. poof.

But it's hanging up there, slowly turning into squirrel jerky and even wind and rain hasn't loosened it's morbid grip on that wire.
posted by GuyZero at 12:05 PM on April 29, 2016 [8 favorites]

Mirrored by animals' hate-hate relationship with vacuums.
posted by little onion at 12:09 PM on April 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

I guess they've come a long way since the days of cat murder-boxes.
posted by CaseyB at 12:13 PM on April 29, 2016 [6 favorites]

"It is unclear whether the animals are trying to stop humanity from unlocking the secrets of the universe." I disagree. I think it's VERY clear.
posted by clone boulevard at 12:18 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Higgs Bison or Niels Bohrson?

The solution, of course, is that whoever saw the bison first gets to name it. If there's a controversy where two people or groups claim to have seen the bison first, we send them out to hunt for another bison (so that we don't have to listen to them bickering) and let each of them name one.
posted by Krom Tatman at 12:26 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

or we can call it the J/psi forever
posted by nat at 12:44 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

(That was to Krom Tatman, referring to this particle)
posted by nat at 12:48 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

We cannot know who first sees the bison until we observe the people seeing the bison
posted by beerperson at 12:50 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

CaseyB: "I guess they've come a long way since the days of cat murder-boxes."

Don't be silly. The old ways are the best ways.

Get... in... the... damn... box!
posted by Splunge at 1:00 PM on April 29, 2016

...What cat?!
posted by xedrik at 1:04 PM on April 29, 2016

Mo deGrasse Bison...
posted by X4ster at 1:10 PM on April 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

> zap. clench. poof.

There needs to be a converse to the New Yorker's "come up with a caption for this cartoon" contest where you're given the caption and have to come up with the illustration. That phrase should be the first one.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:14 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

Particle physicists have a mixed relationship with weasels in particular!
Felicia did good work at Fermilab for years!
posted by MengerSponge at 1:36 PM on April 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

--"Is there any indication whether this is a French or a Swiss baguette?"
--"It was a French site – But a frontier crossing bird is not ruled out."

These articles just made my day.
posted by lemonade at 2:05 PM on April 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

So, my friend wrote this paper on the physics of moss-launched projectiles.

He's the principal investigator on the project.

He calls himself......SPHAGNUM PI
posted by lalochezia at 2:16 PM on April 29, 2016 [16 favorites]

I wonder if there are any bio science types working on breeding literally spherical cows
posted by indubitable at 2:32 PM on April 29, 2016

why would we need to breed them when we have a perfectly good simulation already
posted by Krom Tatman at 2:47 PM on April 29, 2016 [6 favorites]

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog because big data calculations go faster when you assume all users are frictionless spheres.
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:58 PM on April 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

you might not be able to pack them as efficiently in stockyards, tho
posted by indubitable at 3:12 PM on April 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Cylinders roll as easily (without sharp directional changes) and pack more efficiently...
posted by ecsh at 3:42 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

I don't know...I think if we crystallize the spherical cows at the slaughterhouse into a cubic close-packed structure, we could keep all the efficiency of a Multiway Rollway-based transport system and most of the efficiency of stacking cubic cows in a warehouse.

After all, 'square tomatoes' weren't exactly square cubic...
posted by foonly at 3:46 PM on April 29, 2016

Has anyone considered the possibility that the baguette came from the future to sabotage the LHC? Is there any indication that this is a futuristic baguette?

The possibility has been examined by theoretical physicists – considered unlikely as they feel baguettes will not play a part in future cultures.

Another dystopian future :(
posted by moonmilk at 3:56 PM on April 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

Please consider this posting, gentle Mefite, as your occasional reminder that Australia lost a war against the Emu.

A noble bird.

Gentle winds, Mefites. Warm sun.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 5:12 PM on April 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

Pffft, weasels.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 12:23 AM on April 30, 2016

Oh wait! Bye Felicia!
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 12:25 AM on April 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Particle physicists have a mixed relationship with weasels in particular!
Felicia did good work at Fermilab for years!

Archival Footage
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:28 AM on May 1, 2016