You don't just stick it in your underwear!

May 3, 2016 10:27 AM

Remember those period belts from Are You There God, It's Me Margaret? What did they feel like to wear? Did they actually work all that well? What did women use to catch blood, anyway, before adhesive pads and tampons became de rigueur? Turns out that keeping thick cotton pads in place was something of a problem, inspiring a parade of belts, "sanitary shields", and even suspenders. Of course, all of these were originally designed to work with the default style of women's underwear until the 1930s: crotchless.

Previously on the history of menstruation.

posted by sciatrix (88 comments total)

Once girdles were widely worn (forties/fifties) it's amazing anything could move around at all! My (skinny) mom wore a girdle throughout the seventies, not sure exactly when she ditched it.

We've come a long way, baby. Nice post sci :-)
posted by Sheydem-tants at 10:31 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oh, lord, I remember reading Are You There.... and wondering how that worked. And I regret that it took me so long to figure out that tampons are so many million times better than pads. And I regret that it took me so long to figure out that using a Mirena and getting no period at all is really the best of all of those things.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 10:34 AM on May 3, 2016 [14 favorites]

No Slums of Beverly Hills reference? I swear, as I guy I had no idea until that movie.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:37 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

OH MAN.

When I was around 13, I found this weird pamphlet in my mom’s dresser. (To be clear, she was not hiding it. She kept it her whole life because she thought it was hilarious.)

It was an informational booklet about how to use the belts and the pads. But it was also all about how exciting it is to be a young woman! You can go to parties and listen to records with boys! You can wash yourself with a washcloth, even when menstruating!

The part that is imprinted on my brain for the rest of my life is the part where they tell young ladies how to shop for these products. “Modess products are elegantly packaged, so that they look like they could contain bath salts or notepaper. Just remember, ask the store clerk for Modess— it rhymes with “oh, yes!””

So that’s how I will always know how to pronounce the name brand of a now-extinct torture device. IT RHYMES WITH OH, YES!!!!
posted by a fiendish thingy at 10:37 AM on May 3, 2016 [27 favorites]

"The pink box, with the little blue bags inside."

protip: if you sweat a lot like in a tennis match the pad will get soaked and tear from the belt and then what.
posted by allthinky at 10:39 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Whoa the crotchless underpants thing is news to me! I knew about babies in crotchless clothes in non-diapering/pre-diapering cultures...
posted by latkes at 10:41 AM on May 3, 2016

Kotex Classic!
posted by Huck500 at 10:41 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

Maybe something about being more in touch with our bodies had been lost in the hurry to only have your period four times a year and whatnot.

or maybe we want to have our periods less because WE ARE TIRED OF BEING IN CONSTANT HORRIBLE CONTACT WITH OUR BODIES THAT ARE TRYING TO MAKE US MISERABLE

yes i know the author isn't stating that as fact but is just musing and eventually disagrees with herself, i'm still allowed to be outraged that she even had this terrible thought in the first place
posted by poffin boffin at 10:42 AM on May 3, 2016 [36 favorites]

I definitely remember the belts and pads with loops being mentioned when I was being taught about period management in school in the late 90s, but I never actually saw one in the wild.

(I am a recent convert to washable pads and they are GREAT.)
posted by corvine at 10:43 AM on May 3, 2016

Also I am sad that half the links on the "(what) did women use" page are broken, I want to see those sacks.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:44 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Haha, I read the book in the late 70s at exactly the right age. When I first started bleeding, I went to the store and got the one belted brand (preview: yes, it was Modess!) that remained, because Margaret. And it totally sucked, it moved all over the place and I had some accidents at school. Hooray for adhesives!

I found that sanitary belts are still in use in medical settings — mostly for women who have just given birth and are still experiencing postpartum bleeding

In the mid 90s, I had surgery, and was given a belt etc. because, as the nurse apologized, "hospitals are very, very slow to change their ways." It took me back to my experiment with the Modess and I laughed.
posted by Melismata at 10:51 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

poffin boffin, I'm finding patents for what look to be either menstrual cups or sanitary belts/ panties. And some monstrous horrors.
posted by sukeban at 10:55 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

I LOVED "Are You there...", like I could. not. wait until I got my period, so I was disappointed to eventually realise that the book was older than me, and that by 1990 belts had been replaced by sticky strips designed to tape the brick-like pads to your knickers. (This was in the days before wings and ultra-thin pads, children)
posted by billiebee at 10:55 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Wings are godawful inventions of Satan though. They just get crinkled up and the adhesive comes off and then they rub up on your thighs and they rustle and they never fucking fit right anyway.

_{basically fuck wings}
posted by sciatrix at 10:57 AM on May 3, 2016 [28 favorites]

(This was in the days before wings and ultra-thin pads, children)

Whoever invented wings is a saint who should be up there next to Mother Teresa
posted by Melismata at 10:57 AM on May 3, 2016 [33 favorites]

OMG I used those things because my mother would stock them instead of tampons. They were quite uncomfortable, and didn't stay in place, and awkward to use and go to the bathroom. Tampons were far preferable, once I was able to get them on my own.

So. Awkward.
posted by suelac at 10:58 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

i always thought the ones that came with safety pins were meant to be pinned to the inside of your underwears, not pinned to some hilarious suspender contraption
posted by poffin boffin at 10:59 AM on May 3, 2016

This sponge banana catamenial sack looks horrifying.
posted by sukeban at 11:01 AM on May 3, 2016

in a century when people covered their chair and table legs because of their suggestive nature
that's not true.
posted by andrewcooke at 11:01 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

Wings are godawful inventions of Satan though.

Whoever invented wings is a saint who should be up there next to Mother Teresa

Naturally, I'm all for the idea of canonizing Satan, but I'm not sure the Church will go for it.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:02 AM on May 3, 2016 [30 favorites]

In the 34 years of periods I had, I must have used tampons just once. Ew, and so hard to sit down properly. So there you go...

Yes, wings and ultra thins were a godsend.

I have experienced the belt a couple of times at the very beginning, probably because products didn't spread around the world fast enough. I remember carrying as much stock of Japanese Laurier with me whenever I came home for the holidays. Indian sanitary napkins were all the nightmares described in this thread.

Now it just feels weird to go past the product section in the supermarket and not have to stock up.
posted by infini at 11:09 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]

Wings are godawful inventions of Satan though.

Whoever invented wings is a saint who should be up there next to Mother Teresa

Naturally, I'm all for the idea of canonizing Satan, but I'm not sure the Church will go for it.

Either it's that or Christopher Hitchens is a ghost on the internet writing about menstrual products.
posted by howfar at 11:12 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

Interesting to see these belts being wider and flatter. The one I recall from 1979 was just an elastic string with a weird loop at the end.

Search brings up the surprising fact that belted napkins still sold in India. Wonder if its because of the same underwear problem under layers of fabric i.e. few women wear underwear (in terms of the billions strong population, only urban educated will be wearing underwear, not the rural etc)
posted by infini at 11:20 AM on May 3, 2016

In the 34 years of periods I had, I must have used tampons just once. Ew, and so hard to sit down properly.

You shouldn't feel tampons, even when sitting down. They should sit past where you can feel them.
posted by Monday at 11:22 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]

Found it. This. This is what was my introduction to periods. No stability at all.
posted by infini at 11:23 AM on May 3, 2016

I also couldn't wear regular tampons or a NuvaRing because I still felt them, but I'm fine with o.b.'s. They're shorter and expand to the sides instead of lengthwise. Not that it's useful to infini now, but just in case.
posted by sukeban at 11:25 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah, the ob was fine but I could still "feel" it. I preferred napkins for the flexibility and cleanliness (from my PoV).
posted by infini at 11:27 AM on May 3, 2016

I have lived through the evolution of "feminine hygiene" products -- pads, specifically -- from diaper-thick to ultra-thin, and ultra-thin is a flat-out quality-of-life improvement.

I don't know, though. I kinda wish menstrual suspenders were still a thing. I mean, picture yourself in the middle of an annoying conversation with an annoying coworker. When you passed the point of patience, you could lean back on your heels, tuck your thumbs into your menstrual suspenders, grin and waggle your eyebrows. That right there is an instant conversational exit pass, and would be awesome.
posted by mudpuppie at 11:27 AM on May 3, 2016 [53 favorites]

look at this fascinating handbook!
posted by infini at 11:29 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

If I hadn't discovered (as a premenstrual precocious 9 year old) a book on periods in a friend's house, I don't think I'd have had a clue what was going on given mother's prehistoric attitude to these things. Like mudpuppie, I feel like I lived through an era of development. Even tampons were frowned upon in my passport's culture because they were believed to break the hymen.
posted by infini at 11:32 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Never read the book, and yeah: I'm old enough that I wore those damn belts. Damn things were bulky to wear, could shift front to back or vice versa, twisted or just wadded up into cylinders, and too often leaked from the front/sides/back. Also that video didn't show the 'proper' way to get rid of the used pads --- after you unhooked them from the belt, you'd roll the sodden pad up from end to end, and tied it closed with the lengths that had been hooked into the belt, before tossing the mess in the trash.

You younguns' today don't know how lucky you are.
posted by easily confused at 11:34 AM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]

Y'all have no idea how precious the hymen is nor the surgeries available to put them back in. Get off my lawn.
posted by infini at 11:34 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Tampon box pamphlets had a paragraph and some illustrations about hymens in Spain in the 90s, too. More words about that than about TSS :/
posted by sukeban at 11:35 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

comfort-wise, the difference between length expanding tampons and width expanding tampons is INSANE
posted by poffin boffin at 11:36 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]

Jeez, no wonder mom kept getting pregnant. I'd do the same if I had to wear those damn elastic belt things.

srsly, the best part about the last four years of Adventures in Breeding has been that I get huge swaths of time off from migraines and periods. Like, it is the only upside I can find to miscarriage. At least I wasn't straddled with a period and a mind-crushing headache for a few months!

Though no one warned me about lochia. O_O
posted by offalark at 11:38 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]

I didn't use tampons until I was in my late teens because I was freaked out about having to insert them. I hated pads because it always felt bulky and awkward. I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish my period would DIAF already so I don't have to deal with it anymore.
posted by Kitteh at 11:39 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

History of the modern sanitary napkin - actually mentions that women in previous centuries didn't bleed as much due to more pregnancies, starting later in life and dying earlier

34 fucking years
posted by infini at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]

Oh, and this is still such a touchy subject. Last month there's been a lot of stupid written because a left-wing party in a Catalan town discussed a motion to make students aware of alternative methods like natural sponges, reusable cloth pads or menstrual cups.

Personally I'm not terribly enthusiastic about washing pads, but the backlash to the very idea has been incredible.
posted by sukeban at 11:42 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

actually mentions that women in previous centuries didn't bleed as much due to more pregnancies, starting later in life and dying earlier

Also starvation and lactation-induced amenorrhea.
posted by sukeban at 11:43 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

What a timely post, for me personally, beginning today for the next 3-5 days. Thank you technology!

My poor mother came of age in the time of belts, and her periods were horrendous (tremendous bleeding, missing school because of pain, etc.) Belts in general sound terribly insufficient but I can't imagine how horrible it must have been of you had a worse period than what would have been considered normal. She had a hysterectomy after my younger sister was born so I didn't really have exposure to menstrual products until it was my time.
posted by LizBoBiz at 11:44 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Has anyone had luck with the cloth, rewashable pads? I want to give them a try but I would like to hear other people's opinions.

I like the idea of cloth vs. plastic feel plus I would like to minimize the amount of disposable things I use whenever possible.
posted by Tarumba at 11:45 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

YES. I love my snap-on cloth pads so much and haven't worn anything else for years unless I've been out of range of indoor plumbing. I get mine from CozyFolk on Etsy. The flannel ones are serviceable, but the minky fabric ones are luxuriously soft and comfortable, and as far as I can tell, incredibly stain-resistant.
posted by amnesia and magnets at 11:51 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

The missus experienced the sanitary belt early on, due mostly to having her first period at a relatively early age (10!) for girls born in the late 50's. But, as soon as she discovered modern pads and tampons, she happily ditched the belt.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:54 AM on May 3, 2016

I got a set of flannel cloth pads from Etsy. They're great. I use them as backup in case my Diva cup isn't quite up to the job, or for days when things are light and I don't want to bother with the cup.

So long as you aren't bothered by the squick factor (my siblings and mother have forbidden me from discussing my use of cloth pads :P), they're great. I'm 100% okay with this stuff, but some people aren't.
posted by offalark at 12:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have used and liked cloth pads but my experience is that "just toss them in the washing machine the next time you do laundry!" is not too accurate if you don't have a washer at home and only do laundry every 2-3 weeks -- if you let them sit a while, it's hard to get them clean again.
posted by Jeanne at 12:01 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

technically, as a post menstrual crone I should be thrown out of this thread right about now

I miss my periods. Every crampy, achy miserable day. Menopause sounds wonderful when you're fertile and bursting with hormones. Potent, as a male friend once described it. I miss the regular rhythm and changing of the seasons. I miss my body's ebbs and flows, the tender breasts and teh swollen belly. I miss the river coursing through my blood. Life doesn't sing anymore. Sure, the testosterone high means I'm saying F U a lot more to bullcrap. But damn, I miss my life creation engine.
posted by infini at 12:05 PM on May 3, 2016 [13 favorites]

My cloth pads are cotton fleece or cotton velour and I love them. I was worried they would chafe but they just don't really move at all and they feel so much less medical than the plastic ones.
posted by corvine at 12:07 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

if you let them sit a while, it's hard to get them clean again

oh god that recent askme about the maggot infested period panties will haunt me until the world ends in fire and ruin
posted by poffin boffin at 12:07 PM on May 3, 2016 [35 favorites]

I switched to disposable pads when fibroids turned my period into an epic flood, but I used to use cloth. Between laundry days I soaked them in a bucket and used the water on my plants. I've strayed so far from my earth goddess days that you would have to rip my Always Infinity from my cold, dead hands.
posted by atropos at 12:11 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

A fiendish thingy, was there a blonde girl in a poofy 1950s day dress standing in front of a tree or something? Because if so, I also have that pamphlet in my memory trunk. Someone gave it to me when I was 10 (in 1979), and I also kept it for the giggle factor.

I was unaware that belts were a thing until the early 80s. I've never seen one until this Buzzfeed video.
posted by droplet at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2016

oh god that recent askme about the maggot infested period panties will haunt me until the world ends in fire and ruin

wait, what.

what did I miss?!?
posted by sciatrix at 12:15 PM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]

This crisp five dollar bill is getting me my new Mefi sockpuppet: maggot infested period panties.
posted by dr_dank at 12:20 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

A fiendish thingy, was there a blonde girl in a poofy 1950s day dress standing in front of a tree or something?

YES!!! All the different Modess packages had paintings romance novel heroines in huge crinolines on the boxes, standing elegantly posed under moonlit trees.

I used to assume they were wistfully waiting for their periods to end so that they could be loved again, but now that I think about it, maybe they were simply waiting for their also-menstruating comrades to join them so that the dark eldritch rituals could begin??? fingers crossed.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 12:22 PM on May 3, 2016 [20 favorites]

I am just old enough that when my mom told me, she provided one of those belts and a box of pads to match. I remember being baffled and wondering why not just tape them to your underwear.

Of course, I was a late bloomer so five years later when I actually got my period, that belt was long since lost and no one used them anymore; it was (enormous) adhesive pads by then. The darn things were made of something that was the antithesis of absorbent; the blood slid right around them in every direction, and the adhesive was anemic.

But the embarrassing part was when the school explained it to the boys. It was about four years after they first started telling the girls, but it was news to my (male) best friend. He came home from school exclaiming about the revelations. He asked if I had my period yet, and I kinda hemmed and hawed. He said "It's OK! It's normal and natural, you can tell me!" and I hemmed and hawed some more and he kept trying to get the details. Finally I admitted I hadn't, and he was all baffled and distressed, like maybe they lied to him? Because I was thirteen and that's when they said it would happen! How could I be thirteen and not have this period thing yet? When would I get it?

It would be at least two years. Fortunately my friend forgot and didn't ask me again, because it would have been embarrassing to have to keep saying, "Nope, I'm apparently a freak." Though I had a secret hope that it wasn't true and I wouldn't have to grow up to be female. Not because of gender dysphoria or anything, but because even at 13 I could see that everyone hated and feared women, even women. Being a perpetual pre-pubescent tomboy seemed a much better option.
posted by elizilla at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]

This crisp five dollar bill is getting me my new Mefi sockpuppet: maggot infested period panties.

Can you just fit "moist" somewhere in it?
posted by sukeban at 12:30 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

When I was in sixth grade, they took all the boys out of class to the gym, where they supposedly gave them whatever counted as 'sex education' back in the '60s. We girls were all kept there, where the teacher gave us an hour-long rambling & confusing talk about "how our bodies will change"..... no details whatsoever, of course, just some amorphous "change", as near as we could gather probably involving hair. And Mom....well, you'd think that since I had a couple older sisters Mom might've had it figured out about what to tell me, but: no, no information there either.

Like so many previous generations, my first period was a total bloody shock; I thought I was bleeding to death.
posted by easily confused at 12:35 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

I started getting horrible nosebleeds around the time I turned 13. I thought nosebleeds = period. Thanks, sex-ed. It wasn't until I had my first real period at 14 that I realized I'd been weirdly keeping my nosebleeds a secret from my family.
posted by Marinara at 12:55 PM on May 3, 2016 [17 favorites]

every day i take a minute to dance around and celebrate my continued ability to tolerate modern birth control pills, which make my period basically a nothingburger sort of event.

and to think my mom says i've got no religion.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:02 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]

I once wrote about My First Period (tm) for an essay collection that ultimately never came to pass. I was well prepped, I knew what was happening, all that happy stuff - the only bit that felt weird was telling my two BFFs, and I had to tell them because we all had the same gym class and then the same English class right after and we were the three-headed monster and so when I had to detour to the nurses' office after gym class one day and get a pad, I ended up being late to class - and they were worried about me because they didn't know, I was just late to class.

And honest to god, I didn't feel weird about any of it until when I walked into class in the middle of a pop quiz, handed the teacher my nurses' slip, and started to walk to my desk - and saw my two friends looking at me all "baroo?" and I realized - wait, I'm gonna have to tell them, and wait, I don't actually know if they have gotten theirs yet...this wasn't a thing we really compared notes on, and it felt like this was the first time that the three-headed-monster that was us was growing up now, and maybe we'd be split up, and suddenly I was feeling very alone and scared.

I just sat down and whispered I'd tell them later. And when we were handing our quizzes in, I quietly told them why I'd been late, and they both got similarly "whoashit" look on their faces. And we sort of sat there pondering things a moment. It was a week before winter break, so I finally weakly joked, "some Christmas present, huh?"

And that's when my BFF Sue - who was one of the two - wrinkled her nose and then said, "....can you imagine if that had come gift-wrapped?"

And that mental image stayed in all of our heads for the rest of class and kept the three of us on the edge of a gigglefit, which we three barely managed to suppress until class ended and we were walking out to the hallway and finally all completely and totally lost it for a good two minutes, holding onto each other and giggling and leaning against the lockers before finally all three of us, once again united in gross-out humor, heading off to lunch. Whatever "I'm not like them anymore" feelings I had were gone, we were reunited, and all was right with the world.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:06 PM on May 3, 2016 [33 favorites]

In 6th grade all the girls had to go into the auditorium for the lecture and free bag from Kotex. It was called "Growing Up and Loving It". All the boys bugged the crap out of us to see what we'd "won" during our seminar, lol. Not to long after that I started with that damn belt because that's what my mother used and had on hand. The clip thingy was notorious for catching on and ripping out hair. Must have moved on to the stick on pads probably a year later which is also when I got up the gumption to start using OB tampons. My mother told me that my grandmother had cloths that were washed and reused. Urg, belt was bad enough, can't imagine something I'd have to wash.
posted by PJMoore at 1:20 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

I know that not everyone can use 'em for various reasons, but I want to express how awesome menstrual cups are. I mourn the twelve or so years of menstruation that I experienced before getting a Divacup, with all the schoolday trauma, and mom forgot to tell me not to take aspirin for cramps, etc. I can count the number of times I've had to deal with it in a communal bathroom on maybe both hands-- can almost always wait until I get home (and it's never such a tremendous task anyway. Empty carefully, reinsert carefully, try to clean up with the moist paper towel you've brought with you to the stall, exit quickly and discreetly to a corner sink to wash hands).
posted by Capybara at 1:25 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]

We had this booklet when I was a girl. You're a Young Lady Now. If you read between the lines, it clearly says. And it sucks. I really, really wish I still had it, along with the pamphlet on how to have a bomb shelter that we had.
posted by theora55 at 1:42 PM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]

I know that not everyone can use 'em for various reasons, but I want to express how awesome menstrual cups are.

Agreed. I've been using the same one for, let's see, gotta be going on 20 years now. That's a lot of pad money I didn't have to spend.
posted by JanetLand at 2:04 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

This thread is both hilarious and fascinating. I am old enough to have had a brief brush with the dread belt contraptions and it was a ghastly and mortifying experience. It was very difficult to walk normally with a mattress strapped between your legs. I had four sisters and we were all too embarrassed to go buy the pads ourselves so my father would go to the store and buy them for us. Our brand was "Moddess." All the neighbors must have laughed to see my Dad always lugging those giant pastel blue boxes of pads up the street. (Thank you Daddy!) Just our family alone probably could have filled a landfill with the waste. Except in those ancient days, everyone had a trash barrel in the yard and you burnt your trash. That's astonishing to look back on too, hundreds of daily fires in backyards everywhere, probably largely fueled by Moddess and Kotex.

I remember poring over the Tampax instructions which seemed to have a complexity level on par with a heart transplant. My mother was not in favor of the plan. One of my first acts of youthful subversion was spending babysitting money on tampons and then finally figuring out how to get the damn things in. Once I got used to it, I found it to be a godsend, that tampon technology.

I was reminded of a hilarious mid-1970s National Lampoon feature and to my delight, I found it online - The Clampax Menstrual Pontoon Handbook was a "how to" manual, a brilliant parody of the original, right down to the infographics and art.

"If you followed these directions with care the pontoon will be bobbing happily, tossed on the ebb and flow of your vaginal canal's monthly tides and tidal waves. You should not even feel the pontoon is there. If you do, it's in the wrong orifice (see anatomical diagram, stupid) and you must take your compact mirror, penlight and plug wrench, locate your mistake and remove it without delay. Don't be discouraged. There are so many openings down there that even doctors refer to it as the "miraculous maze of womanhood" and you're just a weekend spelunker. So think of it as a puzzle, relax and begin again. Your life depends on it."
posted by madamjujujive at 2:54 PM on May 3, 2016 [19 favorites]

omg "Growing Up And Loving It" I think I got that one too.
posted by brainwane at 3:00 PM on May 3, 2016

It was not uncommon for guys in my class, after we'd all seen The Film, to go into girls' unsupervised purses and find and throw around pads/tampons. To this day I want to grind a shoe into their grubby little nasty faces for doing that. I managed to never leave my purse unsupervised but: what little shits they were. Same kids as did the bra-snapping, cat-calling, disgusting-joke-telling*, and general assholery against girls that we were told "don't tattle!" when we complained about it. Or worse "They like you!" yes thank you I was hoping an abusive psychopath shitstain would love me, oh wait what the fuck.

My mom hated her period and discussed it with me as little as possible. She got a hysterectomy when I was 11 so after that, I had to be sure I had enough product because there was no one around to borrow from. My main fear was staining the back of my pants, which actually happened on a church camp trip, but then I was like "well damn I guess that happened" and decided to move on. I learned to be more careful if only so I didn't ruin any more pants. I pretty much hated everyone in my youth group so that probably helped me not care.

Diva Cup is the best. I have backup tampons for days I'm not going to be at home because I am clumsy and changing it is like trying to keep a blood-filled bomb from going off in your bathroom. At home I do ok but public restrooms, not so much. I have saved SO MUCH money on tampons though. Used to go through those like crazy.

*I was trying to explain what middle-school catcalling was like to the husband and I said "Didn't you know guys who described sex in a way that was so gross you never wanted to actually have it?" and he got it. Everyone knew those guys. Nowadays they hang out on Urban Dictionary I guess. Ugh.
posted by emjaybee at 4:51 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]

OMG, I'm old enough to have worn belts and pads too. My mom was reluctant to let me use tampons because HYMEN. Seriously. When I got my period on a vacation where I wanted to swim, I taught myself how to use tampons. It was tricky because I really had no understanding of female anatomy. O.o Those early tampons were a bit disappointing in their effectiveness, or lack thereof. (This would have been mid-60's in the Deep South). But after that, I never looked back.

Before I knew what tampons were for, I'd play with my mom's. I liked to see them expand as they got wet. I think she was too embarrassed to ask what the hell I was doing using up all her tampons.

We were a pretty repressed family, alas.
posted by Archer25 at 5:54 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]

I got my first period in '77 so yeah, I once (and only once) wore an enormous mattress held on by elastic bands. Horrible.

Whenever I think of tampons with applicators, this is the first thing that comes to mind.
posted by h00py at 6:16 PM on May 3, 2016

The worst is the image in the crotchless link of the old-style menstrual suspenders. They are basically like Borat's swimsuit but worse, a nuclear wedgie pulling from your shoulders. Good lord, people wore those?
posted by Dip Flash at 6:21 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

Here's the pamphlet I have!

In my day, we just got a brief lecture when I was in 5th grade. I guess it had gotten to the attention of the school's administration that we already had 6 or 7 girls in my year who'd started already (we girls all knew who they were, too), so they hustled us 5th and 6th grade pre-women into the gym during what would've been our regular gym classes one spring day for the chat and a filmstrip. The boys just had gym that day per usual.
posted by droplet at 6:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]

As a man I would like to contribute the only thing I can to this thread.
posted by ArmandoAkimbo at 7:11 PM on May 3, 2016

I love my menstrual cup, but it always makes me a little nervous when I have my period and am wandering around with a full cup of blood between my legs in the rain forest. I'm pretty sure that leopards don't smell and track blood like sharks, and I'm pretty sure that the location of the menstrual cup would keep the scent of blood from wafting into leopard nostrils, but ... it's always in the back of my mind. Pads would probably be worse, though.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]

I'm right at the age break between the belt and the stick on pad. The strange, unnerving, mercifully brief bits of sex ed we got in school in the mid 70s (one teacher lost her nerve entirely and talked for 45 minutes about Darwin instead) were usually about the belt - but everybody's older sisters just used the ones that stuck on, so it was even more baffling. Even my mom bought those. Yet in the schools and the helpful pamphlets, all in a box with a disposable razor, pantyhose and some lip gloss - you 're growing up! Now change yourself immediately! - there was this archaic belt thing. I thought maybe it was sort of pad training wheels? It made no sense, but none of it really did anyway. Now my period is leaving me and yeah, it's kind of weirdly bittersweet. I don't miss the cost and pain and whoa, the last few years crazy hemorrhages, but part of me feels bereft and scared. I need a crone box and silly pamphlet to despise in public and secretly pore over.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]

I had a long post about Rely tampons, but the internet gods stole it. It included the phrase "vintage tampons" because you can find boxes of Rely, unopened, online. Because you can find everything on line. Sadly, my horrible head-cold will not allow me to recreate post.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 7:40 PM on May 3, 2016

I need a crone box and silly pamphlet to despise in public and secretly pore over.

yes. where is my How To Crone pamphlet?
posted by infini at 8:07 PM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]

Come to think of it, my church uses a sex ed program called Our Whole Lives that—as the name suggests—is meant to cover every stage of life. I wouldn't be surprised if they did have some materials for “Menopause, or, Puberty II: This Again”.
posted by traveler_ at 9:34 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

This is the version of Growing Up And Liking It that I got. (Pretty sure I still have my copy at my parents' house, actually!) The girls and boys had separate special assemblies in both fourth and fifth grade. We sat on the floor in the kindergarten classroom (I think this was at the end of the day, after kindergarten classes were over), watched a movie, had a nurse or someone explain things further, and got the booklet.
posted by SisterHavana at 9:49 PM on May 3, 2016

It was not uncommon for guys in my class, after we'd all seen The Film, to go into girls' unsupervised purses and find and throw around pads/tampons.

This is the exact opposite of my experience - that middle school and early high school guys were absolutely petrified of anything that might resemble menstrual paraphernalia. If they encountered a (clean! wrapped!) pad or tampon, it would be treated more or less like a dead animal - faces pulled, recoiling, the whole bit.

This was known to the point that when a boy got a crush on a friend of mine and would try to steal things out of her bag during class as a way of flirting (ugh) she would thwart him by putting pads on the top of her backpack, blocking access to the rest of the bag. He refused to touch them, as if he was fae and they were made of iron.
posted by gloriouslyincandescent at 1:57 AM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

. I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish my period would DIAF already so I don't have to deal with it anymore.

Just this morning, on the first day of my period, it hit me that although I am done, fucking done, D-O-N-E DONE having kids, I still have to suffer through periods once a month for the next TWENTY YEARS. Fifteen if I'm lucky. I cried.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 5:06 AM on May 4, 2016

I am old enough that I actually used those horrible things for awhile. However, they did come in handy when my mom sliced into her finger with the electric turkey carving knife sometime in the 70's. My dad ran to get a bandaid and she yelled "get a Kotex!" A thought bubble appeared over my 10 year old head at that moment that said "what's a Kotex?" I'd find out a couple of years later.
posted by jenh526 at 6:36 AM on May 4, 2016

Ah! A thirty-year-old mystery has now been solved: why my eighth-grade school's women's bathroom pad dispenser gave you a box with a bulky, adhesive-free pad and two safety pins. I never made the connection between that and the sanitary belt in Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret. No idea why a dispenser in the mid-1980s was still stocked with them, except maybe as a way to get you to remember to always have an extra pad in your purse.
posted by telophase at 1:32 PM on May 4, 2016

If I were better at writing lyrics, I'd write a song about my Mirena. I honestly can't quite remember what periods are like and I'm *thrilled*.

And another one about being born late enough to miss the suspenders, ugh.
posted by nat at 4:55 PM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

I love my Diva Cup so much, you guys.
posted by beandip at 5:34 PM on May 8, 2016

A bit closer to the original "misinformation about feminine hygiene supplies" topic:

I once saw this gig an Australian comedienne did, where she told a story about growing up kind of sheltered and with a mother who didn't really explain things to her. And she said she remembered flipping through magazines and seeing ads for Modess sanitary napkins, which always featured a drawing of a woman in a beautiful dress and only the words, "Because....Modess." She said she thought Modess was the name of a designer, "and so when guys would take me out on dates I'd say 'I'm wearing a Modess,' and never get why they took me right back home!"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:25 PM on May 8, 2016

What's the incidence of hysterectomy these days? My mom had one, too, after her last child and then a series of miscarriages. So many of you mentioned them here, it made me curious.

I was solidly in the era of adhesive pads but didn't know it because my old copy of "Are you there, God" talked about the belts. When I first got mine, I asked my mom if I needed to buy belts and she was so puzzled, then, "Oh! Those awful things?! No. Much better options now." She was anti-tampons but I eventually figured those out on my own.
posted by amanda at 9:57 PM on May 9, 2016

And to reply to myself...looks like hysterectomy is still very high though there are a wider variety of procedures such as ablation.
posted by amanda at 6:34 AM on May 10, 2016

HA HA THEY ARE GR8 i wish i could give every woman who has ever wanted one a hysterectomy or a tubal ligation or an ablation, immediately and without arguments and without a smug obnoxious patriarchal denial of their agency
posted by poffin boffin at 10:45 AM on May 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

This Coupon Entitles The Bearer To Actual Freedom Of Reproductive Choice (Because It's Not Just Abortions That Women Are Being Wrongfully Denied)
posted by poffin boffin at 10:47 AM on May 10, 2016 [4 favorites]