I Think Blac Chyna is a Ninja
May 17, 2016 6:38 PM Subscribe
"While no one and everyone was watching, Chyna was making calculated moves to close in on her own empire with a precision and finesse that not even the Kardashians saw coming. This wasn’t a PR breakthrough. It was a coup. And so the Kardashians, a family often accused of stealing black men, black features, and black culture, got beat at their own game by a black woman. And not just any black woman, but a video vixen who was never supposed to see the inside of the country clubs the Kardashians frequented growing up."
"It goes without saying that the Kardashians are a lot more famous and have a lot more money than Chyna, but there’s no denying that she is literally following the blueprint Kim showed her when they were friends: social media + club appearances + a business to invest money in (Lashed = Dash) x dating someone more famous than you = your own reality show/fame. Indeed, the only thing that really separates Chyna’s come-up from women like Kim is class. Chyna didn’t have a family attorney to keep her sexual videos behind a paywall or a mother with countless business connections and savvy like Kris, who could weave Instagram photos into gold. But the fact that Chyna found a way to snag a seat at the (Kardashian) table makes this twisted modern-Cinderella story all the more sweet. . . .
Long live Angela Kardashian. May she forever reign."
"It goes without saying that the Kardashians are a lot more famous and have a lot more money than Chyna, but there’s no denying that she is literally following the blueprint Kim showed her when they were friends: social media + club appearances + a business to invest money in (Lashed = Dash) x dating someone more famous than you = your own reality show/fame. Indeed, the only thing that really separates Chyna’s come-up from women like Kim is class. Chyna didn’t have a family attorney to keep her sexual videos behind a paywall or a mother with countless business connections and savvy like Kris, who could weave Instagram photos into gold. But the fact that Chyna found a way to snag a seat at the (Kardashian) table makes this twisted modern-Cinderella story all the more sweet. . . .
Long live Angela Kardashian. May she forever reign."
I should have included the author's name - Sylvia Obell. Such a delightful, sharp, juicy, satisfying read.
posted by sallybrown at 7:25 PM on May 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by sallybrown at 7:25 PM on May 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
I enjoyed this way too much.
posted by gatorae at 7:37 PM on May 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by gatorae at 7:37 PM on May 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
The thing I keep coming back to from this article ... strippers have managers?
posted by jacquilynne at 8:03 PM on May 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by jacquilynne at 8:03 PM on May 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
As an old who is detached from pop culture, I feel like I drank a milkshake made of People magazines.
posted by benzenedream at 8:37 PM on May 17, 2016 [17 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 8:37 PM on May 17, 2016 [17 favorites]
The author describes them as the Lannisters of Calabasas. Does this make Rob Tyrion?
posted by Drumhellz at 8:54 PM on May 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Drumhellz at 8:54 PM on May 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
It's more like a Jane Austen story than the Lannisters I think. I could see this playing out as an excellent period drama.
posted by fshgrl at 9:19 PM on May 17, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by fshgrl at 9:19 PM on May 17, 2016 [7 favorites]
That was a great read. I feel like I just read a classic novel. I've been sort of half following this saga via Jezebel Dirtbag for awhile not really knowing what was going on so it was great to finally get that filled in too. The way this has all been unfolding in ambiguous Instagram captions and mixtape lines just seems so incredibly post-modern. I'm happy for the future Mrs. Kardashian.
posted by bleep at 9:30 PM on May 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by bleep at 9:30 PM on May 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
I find the Kardashian clan boring as shit, but this was somewhat more interesting than usual. This is Lannisters and...I dunno, any other family feuding with the Lannisters. Probably the Starks, I guess? So much ex-boyfriend drama, damn.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:40 PM on May 17, 2016
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:40 PM on May 17, 2016
Hang on, what? Caitlyn Jenner, formerly Bruce Jenner, is part of the Kardashian family? That Caitlyn Jenner? God damn, I am really out of touch. This really changes the context around all of the media attention around her transition.
posted by anybodys at 1:25 AM on May 18, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by anybodys at 1:25 AM on May 18, 2016 [4 favorites]
A great article about some people I know nothing about, brought into a cohesive narrative for the first time. The central (for me) mystery is still beyond my grasp - why does anyone care about these people? But this is definitely the closest I've come to some kind of comprehension of the whole thing.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:46 AM on May 18, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by From Bklyn at 2:46 AM on May 18, 2016 [3 favorites]
The 4th dimensional chess moves this is ascribing is not exactly congruent with the "future" tattoo turning out to be real. But you know maybe I guess
posted by skjønn at 2:50 AM on May 18, 2016
posted by skjønn at 2:50 AM on May 18, 2016
The article is interesting, but really places a lot of blame on a 16 year old girl for a grown man having a relationship with her. The blow by blow of the "Petty Games" neglects the fact that 16 year old girls don't "steal" men, men take advantage of them because they are shits.
posted by corb at 6:39 AM on May 18, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by corb at 6:39 AM on May 18, 2016 [9 favorites]
She is totes goals af.
Seriously though, I am so confused by social media. This article pairs well with the Teatox post a few weeks back.
posted by misterpatrick at 8:25 AM on May 18, 2016
Seriously though, I am so confused by social media. This article pairs well with the Teatox post a few weeks back.
posted by misterpatrick at 8:25 AM on May 18, 2016
... strippers have managers?
All kinds of performers have managers.
posted by KathrynT at 8:29 AM on May 18, 2016 [2 favorites]
All kinds of performers have managers.
posted by KathrynT at 8:29 AM on May 18, 2016 [2 favorites]
All that stuff about the Kardashians and nothing about Chyna's wrestling career!
And maybe Rob wouldn't have been so depressed if he had a cool K-sounding name -- but if Bruce can become Caitlyn, maybe Rob can become Chris (if that isn't infringing on Kris' trademark) or get really trippy with a name like Karma. That would make the lad feel part of the group.
Speaking of Ks, is Chyna's leaving the K off Blac, a sort of slam at the Kardashians?
posted by CCBC at 2:45 PM on May 18, 2016
And maybe Rob wouldn't have been so depressed if he had a cool K-sounding name -- but if Bruce can become Caitlyn, maybe Rob can become Chris (if that isn't infringing on Kris' trademark) or get really trippy with a name like Karma. That would make the lad feel part of the group.
Speaking of Ks, is Chyna's leaving the K off Blac, a sort of slam at the Kardashians?
posted by CCBC at 2:45 PM on May 18, 2016
Anyone feel like Kylie had been sold into sex slavery?
posted by amanda at 9:53 PM on May 18, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by amanda at 9:53 PM on May 18, 2016 [2 favorites]
All that stuff about the Kardashians and nothing about Chyna's wrestling career!
Uh. Not the same Chyna. Chyna-the-wrestler is white. Blac Chyna is not a wrestler and she's black.
posted by aielen at 11:46 PM on May 18, 2016
Uh. Not the same Chyna. Chyna-the-wrestler is white. Blac Chyna is not a wrestler and she's black.
posted by aielen at 11:46 PM on May 18, 2016
so the Kardashians, a family often accused of stealing black men, black features, and black culture,
And that was how I learned, at least in some parts of the Internet, the Kardashians were not considered 'black'.
Uh. Not the same Chyna. Chyna-the-wrestler is white. Blac Chyna is not a wrestler and she's black.
Actually, Chyna-the-wrestler was white (and sometimes green). She's probably not so much one and more of the other.
posted by Mezentian at 4:30 AM on May 19, 2016
And that was how I learned, at least in some parts of the Internet, the Kardashians were not considered 'black'.
Uh. Not the same Chyna. Chyna-the-wrestler is white. Blac Chyna is not a wrestler and she's black.
Actually, Chyna-the-wrestler was white (and sometimes green). She's probably not so much one and more of the other.
posted by Mezentian at 4:30 AM on May 19, 2016
All kinds of performers have managers.
I guess my surprise is that there is level of stripping at which it is treated like a serious business -- potentially a stepping stone to something bigger, as it clearly was for Blac Chyna -- rather than what it mostly seems to be here, which is a conduit for trafficking Eastern European women into sex work. Though perhaps that's changed here too, since the government no longer considers it an appropriate for our temporary foreign worker program.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:45 AM on May 19, 2016
I guess my surprise is that there is level of stripping at which it is treated like a serious business -- potentially a stepping stone to something bigger, as it clearly was for Blac Chyna -- rather than what it mostly seems to be here, which is a conduit for trafficking Eastern European women into sex work. Though perhaps that's changed here too, since the government no longer considers it an appropriate for our temporary foreign worker program.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:45 AM on May 19, 2016
And that was how I learned, at least in some parts of the Internet, the Kardashians were not considered 'black'.
The Kardashians are Armenian -- Eastern European. There's nothing black about them. The fact that they are frequently considered "not white" says fascinating things about the cultural intersections of body type, class, gender, femininity, and whiteness.
posted by KathrynT at 7:20 AM on May 19, 2016 [1 favorite]
The Kardashians are Armenian -- Eastern European. There's nothing black about them. The fact that they are frequently considered "not white" says fascinating things about the cultural intersections of body type, class, gender, femininity, and whiteness.
posted by KathrynT at 7:20 AM on May 19, 2016 [1 favorite]
The Kardashians are Armenian -- Eastern European.
And I believe their mother is of Dutch ancestry, so....
posted by amanda at 9:16 AM on May 19, 2016
And I believe their mother is of Dutch ancestry, so....
posted by amanda at 9:16 AM on May 19, 2016
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