The start up makes a step stool.

June 7, 2016 12:37 PM

A DAD is helping his DAUGHTER move into her new apartment. They’ve rented a Uhaul, and hired movers, but he lives close enough — they’re from Westchester — that he thought he could come help, even though it’s a weekday, but he’s retired from being a wealthy banker, so he can do that sort of thing.

Life, Screenwritten
posted by griphus (27 comments total)

Reading the pull quote on MeFi (my Blue is all blue) it looks more like a classic text adventure to me.

>GET DAD
Ye can't get ye DAD!
>EXAM UHAUL
That's not important!
>GNASH TEETH_
posted by comealongpole at 12:52 PM on June 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Mod note: A few comments deleted; let's start over.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:54 PM on June 7, 2016

It has a kind of Brief Interviews vibe to it. I want more!
posted by grumpybear69 at 1:00 PM on June 7, 2016

Where do you go to get $12 drinks in New York, please?
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:10 PM on June 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

Any soda machine at the Port Authority
posted by beerperson at 1:14 PM on June 7, 2016 [12 favorites]

I'm beginning to realize that your 30's are actually just a neverending back-and-forth between feelings of abject despair at having passed by your 20's, and rapturous joy in the certain knowledge that you can just go sit at home and watch Simpsons reruns and not have to interact with anyone ever again.
posted by Mayor West at 1:14 PM on June 7, 2016 [28 favorites]

I'm in the middle of evaluating and choosing scripts for a new plays festival, and all of this makes me want to scream, "GET TO THE DIALOGUE" at all of these.

But they're very clever anyway.
posted by xingcat at 1:16 PM on June 7, 2016 [6 favorites]

I'm in the middle of evaluating and choosing scripts for a new plays festival, and all of this makes me want to scream, "GET TO THE DIALOGUE" at all of these.

Back in the day I had the occasion to read some plays by Henry James (yes, that Henry James) and he was guilty of this exact thing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:36 PM on June 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is the sort of humor that ends up sticking in your throat, like in the accumulation of details here that point to how even our serendipitous moments have a feeling of shared scriptedness and canned laughter:

She was waiting for her drink at a bar and he stepped on her foot, and she made a big deal about it jokingly, like, “ow! Ha, you have to get my shoes polished now,” and he just went with it right away, like, “don’t worry, I know a guy,” and they laughed about that, because he really does know a guy (he said “no seriously, I really do know a guy), and she loved that, because so few men really take care of their shoes these days, or even have shoes to take care of.

posted by naju at 1:40 PM on June 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

Where do you go to get $12 drinks in New York, please?

That's how much a 22 of Heineken cost me at the Gansevoort bar ten years ago.
posted by griphus at 1:59 PM on June 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

like at least give me a 40 for that kind of money jesus
posted by griphus at 2:00 PM on June 7, 2016 [3 favorites]

Huh. I saw these as both a commentary on the superficiality that seems to pass for peoples lives and also about the level of discourse found in the usual Hollywood garbage movies about how people that have these superficial lives with nothing to look forward to except a slow death in an uncaring environment really ARE worthy of study and their lives really DO have meaning.

"And she loved that, and gave him her number, and now they’re on this date, their first date, and it’s going to so well, and they both look amazing, even though they both came from work."

Patrick: I don't think we should see each other any more.
Evelyn: Why? What's wrong?
Patrick: My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be corrected, but, ah, I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
Evelyn: What about the past?
Patrick: We never really shared one.
Evelyn: You're inhuman.
Patrick: No...I'm in _touch_ with humanity. Evelyn, I'm sorry, I just uh...You're not terribly important to me.
posted by Zack_Replica at 2:20 PM on June 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

New York really is a completely different country, all its own, and so weirdly insular.
posted by crotchety old git at 2:55 PM on June 7, 2016 [1 favorite]

I've thought it would be interesting to secretly record common, everyday conversations between people... in a work meeting, at home making dinner, on the train, telephone chats, etc... then script them out verbatim and have actors perform on camera as closely as possible to the real thing. Add in editing, cinematography—everything.

I bet it would be completely surreal. (Also unethical, but it's just a thought experiment)
posted by jeff-o-matic at 3:04 PM on June 7, 2016 [7 favorites]

This is the sort of humor that ends up sticking in your throat,

You have a very specific idea of the "you" in that sentence, and you should reconsider its applicability to others.
posted by jpe at 4:02 PM on June 7, 2016 [2 favorites]

Okay...?
posted by naju at 4:08 PM on June 7, 2016 [4 favorites]

I've thought it would be interesting to secretly record common, everyday conversations between people... in a work meeting, at home making dinner, on the train, telephone chats, etc... then script them out verbatim and have actors perform on camera as closely as possible to the real thing.

You might be interested in the episode "Smokers Allowed" from the show Nathan For You on Comedy Central.
posted by ejs at 7:51 PM on June 7, 2016

Raymond Carver, Tobias Wolff, Richard Ford and Alice Munro did it first.
posted by My Dad at 7:54 PM on June 7, 2016

I enjoyed these. Unacceptable from a technical screenwriting perspective, excellent as a George Saunders-esque playing with format.
posted by ejs at 8:10 PM on June 7, 2016

You have a very specific idea of the "you" in that sentence, and you should reconsider its applicability to others.

Reminds me of something I read today:

The ideally coherent person, frequently called by the apt technical term 'you', ...

posted by grobstein at 12:06 AM on June 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

... I cannot be the only person who has no idea what the point of this is, didn't really get or enjoy reading it, and came to the comments section hoping for clarity and finding none...

Can someone in on the joke explain?
posted by Cozybee at 12:58 AM on June 8, 2016

Scripts normally start with a bit of scene setting so that actors can get into character. It's not normally all that long, but it can give some motivation or an idea of the surroundings. This is just a surreal bloating of it for comedy effect, tied into the insufferable lives of the characters depicted.

That's my take, and I found it pretty funny. Your experience may differ though.
posted by trif at 2:17 AM on June 8, 2016

I'll have what she, the writer, is having.
posted by From Bklyn at 4:17 AM on June 8, 2016

Where do you go to get $12 drinks in New York, please?

Who said anything about New York? $12 is still towards the high end for Overpriced "Craft" Cocktails here in flyover land.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:57 AM on June 8, 2016

Who said anything about New York?

The writer lives in New York and mentions Brooklyn neighborhoods in the piece.
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:19 AM on June 8, 2016

The second script mentions the 12-dollar cocktails. Only the third mentions Brooklyn neighborhoods.

And I like to think New York writers are capable of writing about places other than New York, but perhaps I'm giving them too much credit.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:23 AM on June 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

And I like to think New York writers are capable of writing about places other than New York, but perhaps I'm giving them too much credit.

Just write about New York, then take out the interesting stuff.

You can, but why would you?

Etc.
posted by grobstein at 8:14 AM on June 22, 2016