The Bushy Tailed Menace
June 17, 2016 2:37 PM Subscribe
Slate discusses one of the most pernicious extant threats to our electrical grid, one that costs the US millions annually in power outages...Squirrels. (SLSlate)
Yup.
Last month my FIL passed-away and there was to be a memorial service at the church his family had attended for over 50 years. That morning, a squirrel chewed through a wire/cable or something and the church was without power just a couple of hours before the service was to begin. On a Saturday.
Luckily, the local power company rolled a truck and got the place up and running about an hour before the service was to begin.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:49 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Last month my FIL passed-away and there was to be a memorial service at the church his family had attended for over 50 years. That morning, a squirrel chewed through a wire/cable or something and the church was without power just a couple of hours before the service was to begin. On a Saturday.
Luckily, the local power company rolled a truck and got the place up and running about an hour before the service was to begin.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:49 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Back in college, we had a campus-wide brownout one morning. The local news said something like "It is believed that this squirrel was the cause" and held up a nicely barbecued squirrel that had gotten into the power station -- I seem to recall that it was still smoking faintly.
This was rather timely for those of us who didn't want to go to class or had tests that morning, so a friend of mine was joking that freshmen at the top of Sullivan Hall had been throwing squirrels at the power block in hopes of causing said brownout. I retorted that it was clearly the parachuting squirrel squadron from the Clusters cereal commercial, and one of them got caught in an untimely downdraft and blown off course.
This tickled said friend so much that he choked on the cereal he was eating and just about passed out before recovering.
And that is how I nearly killed a man with a barbecued squirrel.
posted by delfin at 3:01 PM on June 17, 2016 [8 favorites]
This was rather timely for those of us who didn't want to go to class or had tests that morning, so a friend of mine was joking that freshmen at the top of Sullivan Hall had been throwing squirrels at the power block in hopes of causing said brownout. I retorted that it was clearly the parachuting squirrel squadron from the Clusters cereal commercial, and one of them got caught in an untimely downdraft and blown off course.
This tickled said friend so much that he choked on the cereal he was eating and just about passed out before recovering.
And that is how I nearly killed a man with a barbecued squirrel.
posted by delfin at 3:01 PM on June 17, 2016 [8 favorites]
From a 2013 NYT piece titled Squirrel Power!:
Some utilities have installed the kind of plastic owl used to keep pigeons off building facades. However, an industry study notes, “one utility reported that the fake owl was attacked by a hawk which in turn caused a substation outage.”posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 3:16 PM on June 17, 2016 [10 favorites]
I used to live in an appartment complex that abbutted a golfe course. Squirrels lovedo the old oaks and the woods that ran between. The power connectivity for the complex was a solid sized transformer, and the squirrels routinely ran along the power lines like their own personal highway. As squirrel populations rose too high, inevitably switching from one phase to the next at the transformer would cost a less cautious squirrel it's life, and our complex would be stuck in either a power outage (preferred) or a brown out until the squirrel burnt to a crisp. Either way, the power company would have to come out 3-5 times a year to remove a squirrel carcass and reset a breaker at the transformer.
I don't miss that place.
Now though, I can still accidentally kill wildlife by just having a pool. There's no power loss when they die now, only guilt of potentially orphaning one of the many squirrel, chipmunk, mouse, or bunny families that seem to think my backyard is a safe place to live. ... because a Husky isn't enough detterrent.
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:25 PM on June 17, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't miss that place.
Now though, I can still accidentally kill wildlife by just having a pool. There's no power loss when they die now, only guilt of potentially orphaning one of the many squirrel, chipmunk, mouse, or bunny families that seem to think my backyard is a safe place to live. ... because a Husky isn't enough detterrent.
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:25 PM on June 17, 2016 [2 favorites]
From the article: Cyber Squirrel 1
FT used to cover animal sabotages in a fun little blotter and I was always amazed at how common the incidents were. My collection is boxed away but I found these gems via Google:
FT used to cover animal sabotages in a fun little blotter and I was always amazed at how common the incidents were. My collection is boxed away but I found these gems via Google:
Rabbit and Squirrel Subversionposted by christopherious at 3:30 PM on June 17, 2016 [3 favorites]
At Ellsworth Air Force Base, South Dakota, rabbits and squirrels caused chaos in the secured weapons area by setting off security alarms. The rabbits were also breeding like crazy and burrowing into missile mounds, causing cave-ins. The Air Force were intendeing to go hunting ... with bows and arrows! Toronto Sun 11 May 1980
The Ancient monument of Stonehenge is in danger of falling down due to the burrowing of a vast army of rabbits. Officials are digging a wire fence into the ground to keep the invaders out. Daily Express 4 July 1980
Air-raid sirens were set off in Toronto, apparently due to squirrels gnawing through circuit wires (one of these days, a rodent's going to start World War III!). (Toronto Sun 30 May 1980)
In New York State, hundreds of paranoids were convinced their phones were bugged ... the cause of the mystery crackling turned out to be squirrels sharpening their teeth on the wires. Five miles of cable needed replacing. Daily Mail 8 August 1979
Dogs were right all along, man....
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:38 PM on June 17, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:38 PM on June 17, 2016 [2 favorites]
I grew up in Texas and for the most part, I cannot recall squirrels being a particular nuisance. But once I moved to Canada, that changed. The squirrels up here seem to be more aggresive and also larger. They just do not give a fuck about humans.
Along with Canadian geese. Squirrels are animals that I just do not approach or mess with in any way whatsoever.
posted by Fizz at 4:18 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Along with Canadian geese. Squirrels are animals that I just do not approach or mess with in any way whatsoever.
posted by Fizz at 4:18 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
One of the first cartoon squirrels, Tex Avery's "Screwy Squirrel" was a more effective agent of chaos than Daffy Duck and Woody Woodpecker combined, but since then, squirrels in the toons have been wonderfully diverse, from the "plucky hero" Rocky the Flying Squirrel (June Foray LIVES), to the James-Bondsian Secret Squirrel, to Animaniac curmudgeon Slappy Squirrel to explorer-of-a-totally-alien-environment Sandy Cheeks. For comparison, chipmunks, primarily represented by Chip & Dale and Alvin, are locked into "mischievous" mode.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:20 PM on June 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:20 PM on June 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
My wife wants to feed the birds. She does not want to feed the squirrels. Tensions run high.
posted by tommyD at 6:52 PM on June 17, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by tommyD at 6:52 PM on June 17, 2016 [3 favorites]
THE JOKE IS FUNNY BECAUSE THE SQUIRREL IS DEAD!
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:00 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:00 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Just moved to a new place, last week end both neighbors explained to me how nice it was that there's a family of foxes hanging in the park and eating the squirrels. They were positively giddy about it!!
posted by coust at 9:45 PM on June 17, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by coust at 9:45 PM on June 17, 2016 [2 favorites]
I did field work in the Yukon this year and we radio collared snowshoe hares: when we got a "mort" signal, we would go find where the collar was laying and see what we could learn about the bunny's death. #1 bugbear to this operation was squirrels finding the collars first and stealing them to put in their nests high in a tree. Unbelievably frustrating to follow the radio signal to the bottom of a tree and see the culpable squirrel running around, knowing how easily it could return the collar to you if only it understood the gravity of your research.
posted by little onion at 11:00 PM on June 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by little onion at 11:00 PM on June 17, 2016 [4 favorites]
If you think squirrels are dangerous to the power grid, wait until they fill your telecom equipment with nuts.
posted by thewalrus at 11:38 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by thewalrus at 11:38 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
pfft, squirrels taking down a power grid seems impressive until you remember that squirrels took down Kraven the Hunter, Dr. Doom, and even Galactus, devourer of worlds.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:36 PM on June 18, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:36 PM on June 18, 2016 [4 favorites]
Evil animals! Damn little terrorists! What are you, ISIS or something? Trump will fix your little bushy tailed asses!
posted by nofundy at 7:00 PM on June 18, 2016
posted by nofundy at 7:00 PM on June 18, 2016
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posted by rikschell at 2:47 PM on June 17, 2016 [5 favorites]