The Sounds of Cash
June 27, 2016 5:25 PM Subscribe
Auctioneer Beats smoothly slides beats under auctioneers, cuts nice loops, and puts them on Vine so you can be mesmerized.
ASMR for the Physiocrats.
posted by clavdivs at 5:36 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 5:36 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
Serious question - is there a logical reason auctioneers communicate this way?
posted by davebush at 5:47 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by davebush at 5:47 PM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, Fu Schnickens & Das Efx & Twista & Busta Rhymes predate Eminem.
posted by cashman at 5:48 PM on June 27, 2016
posted by cashman at 5:48 PM on June 27, 2016
I like these, I just wish they either went on longer or looped better.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:50 PM on June 27, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 5:50 PM on June 27, 2016 [13 favorites]
Serious question - is there a logical reason auctioneers communicate this way?
Maybe to create an entertaining spectacle and draw crowds to auctions?
posted by thelonius at 5:52 PM on June 27, 2016
Maybe to create an entertaining spectacle and draw crowds to auctions?
posted by thelonius at 5:52 PM on June 27, 2016
I mostly just wanna know where these dudes buy their hats.
posted by Itaxpica at 6:36 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Itaxpica at 6:36 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
This is fun! These beats are hip-hoppier than 'Ow Much, which is the same gimmick in 2001. (By the late brother of The Orb's LX Paterson, apparently!)
posted by aubilenon at 6:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by aubilenon at 6:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
I mostly just wanna know where these dudes buy their hats.
Hat auction.
posted by aubilenon at 6:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [26 favorites]
Hat auction.
posted by aubilenon at 6:38 PM on June 27, 2016 [26 favorites]
I LOVESES THIS. Yes, gimme a full 2:24 at least.
2:42? 2:44, gimme 2:44 2:45 2:45 gibitty 2:45 2:50 2:55 hegot 2:55 now gimme 3
posted by petebest at 6:55 PM on June 27, 2016 [12 favorites]
2:42? 2:44, gimme 2:44 2:45 2:45 gibitty 2:45 2:50 2:55 hegot 2:55 now gimme 3
posted by petebest at 6:55 PM on June 27, 2016 [12 favorites]
All I know is I'm pretty sure I see an Okidata dot matrix printer back there.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:01 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:01 PM on June 27, 2016 [4 favorites]
This one too!! Fukengrüven!
And if you like your auctioneering a little more Rock and Roll, there's always Hank III's 3 Bar Ranch Cattle Callin
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 7:06 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
And if you like your auctioneering a little more Rock and Roll, there's always Hank III's 3 Bar Ranch Cattle Callin
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 7:06 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
the fact that these are just vines makes me irrationally angry.
posted by boo_radley at 7:21 PM on June 27, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 7:21 PM on June 27, 2016 [13 favorites]
The problem is, the auctioneer gets into the rhythm of the bid - he works himself into a very nice flow to entice people to bid higher. Once the mark he's set is met, he has a new rhythm, because it's a new number he's trying to get bidders to meet. So this really only works as a vine, and it only works at the top of the auction, when bidders are reluctant, and the auctioneer has room to groove. The bidders are not that reluctant. So, yeah, Vine.
And Emminem completely does auctioneer tricks with his voice, especially earlier in his career, and he shouts out to it in one of the rap-battles in 8-Mile. And then there are the speed rappers, which are their own thing and generally don't employ auctioneer tricks at all, and are usually unlistenable. It's like the Micromachines Man bragging about his sponsorship contracts, only not as fast as the Micromachines Man. Tec9 is the exception, he has flow and speed.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:46 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
And Emminem completely does auctioneer tricks with his voice, especially earlier in his career, and he shouts out to it in one of the rap-battles in 8-Mile. And then there are the speed rappers, which are their own thing and generally don't employ auctioneer tricks at all, and are usually unlistenable. It's like the Micromachines Man bragging about his sponsorship contracts, only not as fast as the Micromachines Man. Tec9 is the exception, he has flow and speed.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:46 PM on June 27, 2016 [2 favorites]
Not to double post. BUT. This supergenius who does these things? The fade-in-intro beat? Sucks. Put the auctioneers mid-beat. Make it loop clean. Then the Universe will love you. In both Stephen and Greg varieties.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:54 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:54 PM on June 27, 2016 [3 favorites]
I REALLY NEED hiphop songs (albums!) set to these auctioneer beats, commenting on and celebrating the flashy conspicuous consumption of hiphop/auction culture.
posted by nicebookrack at 9:09 PM on June 27, 2016
posted by nicebookrack at 9:09 PM on June 27, 2016
Too commercial.
posted by mhoye at 5:17 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 5:17 AM on June 28, 2016 [3 favorites]
I attend an industry association meeting each year which includes a scholarship auction with an excellent auctioneer and some good ring men. It's stupid fun.
posted by wintermind at 10:41 AM on June 28, 2016
posted by wintermind at 10:41 AM on June 28, 2016
Let me tell you about being the dude breaking this at an ag bank.
posted by boo_radley at 5:31 PM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 5:31 PM on June 28, 2016 [2 favorites]
Ha! A couple years ago I wrote a tounge-in-cheek pitch for a movie about this in the tradition of The Karate Kid, Footloose, Flashdance, etc:
In the tradition of “Convoy”, “The Gambler” and “Ode To Billy Joe” I pitch the following movie based off of the yet unwritten hit song based off of the video that follows this entire mess.
This film, “Street Caller” (also the title of the song), is about a popular young man in his late teens growing up in a mid-sized agrarian town. He’s got some Bro-country name like “Chase”, “Blake” or “Luke”. Let’s go with “Chase”. So Chase is a 3rd generation livestock auctioneer in training and a member of some competitive auctioneering league like some sort of 4H club with gavels. In broad terms the movie is about the relationship Chase has with his farm friends, his relationship with his family, and the strains placed upon those relationships due to bonds he forges with those “other” people on the “other” side of town, you know “those people”--against the desires of his friends and family. Throughout this all is the looming spectre of the approaching State Livestock Auctioneering Competition with much at stake: his main competitor, probably a “Kayden” of some variant, is the son of the local banker who is on the verge of foreclosing on Chase’s families farm. Due to some shoe-horned in wager victory for Chase means the farm is saved. Over the course of the film Chase’s family and friends come to appreciate his new “urban” friends, Chase gains some insight into his future in regards to the town, and the farm is saved in a climatic final competition scene in the tradition of The Karate Kid, Flashdance, Eight Mile and others of that ilk.
Elements and scenes that must appear in the film:
•Skips auctioneer practice (I know, I know). Finds himself on the “other” side of town. Notes similarity of rap and auctioneering (this is clearly a big ole Flashdance thing). Meets rappers, become fast friend with one named Sean. Probably bond over some “City vs Country” rap battle. Instant bonding.
•Run-ins at school with Kayden who taunts him about how his daddy’s going to own their farm soon.
•Weekend kegger scene in a field at night around a hay bale bonfire. Pickups, painted-on jeans and bro-country everywhere. A few friends tease him about his hobby and dare him to sell a six pack for a hundred dollars. He accepts, and as he reaches for the six-pack to take up the challenge his friend stops him, breaks one off, and says “Uh uh. Too easy. One at a time”. He climbs up on a hay bale as a podium and starts plying his craft to the delight of the party-goers who start throwing money at him. Shots of bills raining on him in slow motion, a tanned rural god in boots and a DC cap.
•Later at the same party Sean and his friends show up. Tense. A Fight nearly breaks out. Now he’s caught between worlds, accepted by neither.
•Black friend teases him about his auctioneering hobby. Taunts him to show off more of his “farmer rap”.
•Scene with Sean on the mezzanine level of the local stockyard, overlooking cattle standing in pens and moving through chutes. Genre-expected soliloquy ensues: “You know, you and I are no different than those cattle down there. The only difference is this whole town is our pen. And one of these days, like those cattle, it’ll be you and I on that auction block. Going once, going twice,--no! I don’t know about you but I won’t be sold like that”
•Chase befriends elderly man (plain name like Bill Johnson) down the road and spends time working at his house. One afternoon during a day drunk, it comes to light that not only is Bill Johnson a retired competitive auctioneer, but he’s the famed world champion Bill ‘The Swinging Gavel” Johnson who disappeared from the public eye decades ago. Chase begs him for training. The Gavel begrudgingly agrees and becomes the Mr. Miyagi or Ben Kenobi figure. Played by Harry Dean Stanton, of course.
•Tense scene where Chase tells his family he has a friend over for dinner. Neglects to tell them it’s Sean so they are surprised to see a black friend show up. Of course after most of an uncomfortable meal, Chase’s dad ends up angrily leaving the table.
•Probably loses his girlfriend at some point who doesn’t understand all the changes and who he’s become.
•Has to upset Sean somehow so he leaves the picture in anger, presumably for good.
•Finale at the State Livestock Auctioneering Competition. Pretty much everyone is there, including Kayden’s family. Over the course of the competition he falls behind (I have no idea how these things are scored) and despair sets in as the family farm looks to be lost. However he barely scrapes into finals against Kayden. During finals he struggles, and as it looks it is lost, Sean and his crew burst into the sound booth with a thumb drive. Plugging it into the PA it plays a “phat” drum track that Chase “auction-raps” to and rallies Chase to a Karate Kid-grade victory. the crowd is insane at this point. Chase’s winning auction “rap” set to the beat combines to form “Street Caller”, the hit single upon which the movie is based. Ooooh, recursive!
posted by sourwookie at 9:37 PM on June 28, 2016 [4 favorites]
In the tradition of “Convoy”, “The Gambler” and “Ode To Billy Joe” I pitch the following movie based off of the yet unwritten hit song based off of the video that follows this entire mess.
This film, “Street Caller” (also the title of the song), is about a popular young man in his late teens growing up in a mid-sized agrarian town. He’s got some Bro-country name like “Chase”, “Blake” or “Luke”. Let’s go with “Chase”. So Chase is a 3rd generation livestock auctioneer in training and a member of some competitive auctioneering league like some sort of 4H club with gavels. In broad terms the movie is about the relationship Chase has with his farm friends, his relationship with his family, and the strains placed upon those relationships due to bonds he forges with those “other” people on the “other” side of town, you know “those people”--against the desires of his friends and family. Throughout this all is the looming spectre of the approaching State Livestock Auctioneering Competition with much at stake: his main competitor, probably a “Kayden” of some variant, is the son of the local banker who is on the verge of foreclosing on Chase’s families farm. Due to some shoe-horned in wager victory for Chase means the farm is saved. Over the course of the film Chase’s family and friends come to appreciate his new “urban” friends, Chase gains some insight into his future in regards to the town, and the farm is saved in a climatic final competition scene in the tradition of The Karate Kid, Flashdance, Eight Mile and others of that ilk.
Elements and scenes that must appear in the film:
•Skips auctioneer practice (I know, I know). Finds himself on the “other” side of town. Notes similarity of rap and auctioneering (this is clearly a big ole Flashdance thing). Meets rappers, become fast friend with one named Sean. Probably bond over some “City vs Country” rap battle. Instant bonding.
•Run-ins at school with Kayden who taunts him about how his daddy’s going to own their farm soon.
•Weekend kegger scene in a field at night around a hay bale bonfire. Pickups, painted-on jeans and bro-country everywhere. A few friends tease him about his hobby and dare him to sell a six pack for a hundred dollars. He accepts, and as he reaches for the six-pack to take up the challenge his friend stops him, breaks one off, and says “Uh uh. Too easy. One at a time”. He climbs up on a hay bale as a podium and starts plying his craft to the delight of the party-goers who start throwing money at him. Shots of bills raining on him in slow motion, a tanned rural god in boots and a DC cap.
•Later at the same party Sean and his friends show up. Tense. A Fight nearly breaks out. Now he’s caught between worlds, accepted by neither.
•Black friend teases him about his auctioneering hobby. Taunts him to show off more of his “farmer rap”.
•Scene with Sean on the mezzanine level of the local stockyard, overlooking cattle standing in pens and moving through chutes. Genre-expected soliloquy ensues: “You know, you and I are no different than those cattle down there. The only difference is this whole town is our pen. And one of these days, like those cattle, it’ll be you and I on that auction block. Going once, going twice,--no! I don’t know about you but I won’t be sold like that”
•Chase befriends elderly man (plain name like Bill Johnson) down the road and spends time working at his house. One afternoon during a day drunk, it comes to light that not only is Bill Johnson a retired competitive auctioneer, but he’s the famed world champion Bill ‘The Swinging Gavel” Johnson who disappeared from the public eye decades ago. Chase begs him for training. The Gavel begrudgingly agrees and becomes the Mr. Miyagi or Ben Kenobi figure. Played by Harry Dean Stanton, of course.
•Tense scene where Chase tells his family he has a friend over for dinner. Neglects to tell them it’s Sean so they are surprised to see a black friend show up. Of course after most of an uncomfortable meal, Chase’s dad ends up angrily leaving the table.
•Probably loses his girlfriend at some point who doesn’t understand all the changes and who he’s become.
•Has to upset Sean somehow so he leaves the picture in anger, presumably for good.
•Finale at the State Livestock Auctioneering Competition. Pretty much everyone is there, including Kayden’s family. Over the course of the competition he falls behind (I have no idea how these things are scored) and despair sets in as the family farm looks to be lost. However he barely scrapes into finals against Kayden. During finals he struggles, and as it looks it is lost, Sean and his crew burst into the sound booth with a thumb drive. Plugging it into the PA it plays a “phat” drum track that Chase “auction-raps” to and rallies Chase to a Karate Kid-grade victory. the crowd is insane at this point. Chase’s winning auction “rap” set to the beat combines to form “Street Caller”, the hit single upon which the movie is based. Ooooh, recursive!
posted by sourwookie at 9:37 PM on June 28, 2016 [4 favorites]
previously. For those of you who wish they went on about 24 times longer, you're in luck!
Aaand I scrolled too quick.
posted by persona at 3:23 AM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
Aaand I scrolled too quick.
posted by persona at 3:23 AM on June 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
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I do think that classic auctioneering is an art intimately connected with modern rap that doesn't get nearly enough attention for the musical skill that it is. I feel like (and I'm sure that someone else must have written about this before) a lot of the trills and flourishes that made Eminem so remarkable are borrowed from the auctioneering world.
posted by 256 at 5:36 PM on June 27, 2016 [11 favorites]