Макдоналдс

July 20, 2016 12:56 PM

What if modern brands were found in the USSR?
posted by griphus (25 comments total)

I'd eat Russian McDonalds if they actually delivered it with the Starship Enterprise.
posted by Oyéah at 1:13 PM on July 20, 2016

I'd like a small McBorscht, please.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]

Quite nicely done; I was afraid they were going to go all Yakov Smirnoff with fake-Soviet imagery, but they use actual Soviet imagery with appropriate typefaces. Молодцы!
posted by languagehat at 1:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]

man now i once again miss the brief glorious reign of the russian fast food chain in nyc called Rush'n Express
posted by poffin boffin at 1:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

There's still the burger joint in Sheepshead Bay that plays a parody of the Ghostbusters theme with Russian lyrics about hamburgers on Russian radio.
posted by griphus at 1:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]

I was afraid they were going to go all Yakov Smirnoff with fake-Soviet imagery

The artist lives in St. Petersburg, so presumably he has some first-hand experience with the source material.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 1:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]

I would like to see Jeep Cherokee —> Джип Широкий
posted by Kabanos at 1:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

man now i once again miss the brief glorious reign of the russian fast food chain in nyc called Rush'n Express

Perhaps you can scratch that itch with a few games of Rush'n Attack.
posted by The Tensor at 1:51 PM on July 20, 2016

Sweet! Feels very Soviet-retro indeed.

Speaking of Russian fast food chains, Teremok opened a midtown location not long ago.
posted by pravit at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

no i want 3 blinis for $5 and free smetana refills
posted by poffin boffin at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

Modern brands might have a few more submarines to hand...
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 2:01 PM on July 20, 2016

So beautiful. Thanks you!
posted by staggering termagant at 3:02 PM on July 20, 2016

There was a Russian Apple II clone, and it was even more glorious than the fictional one depicted here.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 3:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

I really enjoyed these, thanks.
posted by smoke at 5:45 PM on July 20, 2016

Макдоналдс

*is awarded Udarnik of Communist Consumption medal by the Fast Food Central Planning Committee*
posted by XMLicious at 6:50 PM on July 20, 2016

The face and style of the Mercedes logo is awesome!
posted by sldownard at 10:36 PM on July 20, 2016

One of my delights in wandering on the boulevards of Moscow and getting acquainted with Cyrillic was seeing retail logos from Roman alphabets adapted to the letterforms. Like this casual dining "grill and bar" retaining its swoop in the middle.
posted by bendybendy at 5:56 AM on July 21, 2016

Here is the original perfume ad, along with an interesting article!
posted by Kabanos at 8:02 AM on July 21, 2016

" Like this casual dining "grill and bar" retaining its swoop in the middle."

Come to think of it, that sweep doesn't make sense in English since it makes the L look like a J. ChiJis.
posted by I-baLL at 8:45 AM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

"чилиз" definitely sounds like a Central Asian delicacy you get by the pound at the Russian supermarket.
posted by griphus at 8:53 AM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

"чилиз"

Marketing tagline idea for Chilli's Ukraine:
"Чи лизнув Чилиз?"
posted by Kabanos at 12:30 PM on July 21, 2016

I am amused that the 'modern' brands chosen all very much existed for at least a decade or two during the USSR's hey day. I'm pretty sure every one of those brands was actively on sale in the USSR, so a more diligent researcher than me could likely find genuine adverts in Soviet press.
But then they wouldn't have the 60s/70s vibe that makes this so charming.
posted by bystander at 3:07 PM on July 21, 2016

KRAФЦMAN®
posted by muchomas at 5:26 PM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

I swear to god it is against everything I stand for to factually correct a joke in a way that doesn't really make a difference for humor purposes but it's "KPAФЦMAH"
posted by griphus at 7:32 PM on July 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

I swear to god it is against everything I stand for to factually correct a joke in a way that doesn't really make a difference for humor purposes but it's "KPAФЦMAH

At the risk of over-explaining, you're right to correct the transliteration. Mine is a reference to the "Anglisky" dialect from Neal Stephenson's "SEVENEVES", not a direct transliteration like in TFA.
posted by muchomas at 7:05 AM on July 22, 2016 [1 favorite]