Come on like a wrecking bull
August 4, 2016 2:18 AM Subscribe
Minotaurs, charging things. From the surprisingly excellent if questionably monikered Total War: Warhammer. Contains blood (contents under pressure).
The only reason I might actually finish my PhD is that this game is not available on Mac.
Please don't tell me that it is.
posted by prismatic7 at 3:26 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Please don't tell me that it is.
posted by prismatic7 at 3:26 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Total Warhammer is a lot o' fun! Not as polished as Shogun 2 but has a lot of other great things going for it. Definitely one of the best Total War games.
But no skaven. I demand skaven.
posted by Justinian at 3:58 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
But no skaven. I demand skaven.
posted by Justinian at 3:58 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
Where is minotaur-sized duck?
posted by thelonius at 4:05 AM on August 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 4:05 AM on August 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
The relative scale of these guys compared to the tabletop miniatures (28mm) is way out of whack. Yes they're bigger than men, but not that much bigger.
posted by wilful at 4:36 AM on August 4, 2016
posted by wilful at 4:36 AM on August 4, 2016
The relative scale of these guys compared to the tabletop miniatures (28mm) is way out of whack. Yes they're bigger than men, but not that much bigger.
They've done this with a few other units too. The vampire counts varghulf is about twice the size, presumably to distinguish its niche from the vargheists? The heroes are about the same scale as normal dudes, which is a welcome surprise.
posted by ocular shenanigans at 4:55 AM on August 4, 2016
They've done this with a few other units too. The vampire counts varghulf is about twice the size, presumably to distinguish its niche from the vargheists? The heroes are about the same scale as normal dudes, which is a welcome surprise.
posted by ocular shenanigans at 4:55 AM on August 4, 2016
So the minotaurs carry axes, but still bull-rush? The humans carry spears, but don't set up in formation against the charge?
I guess I can believe that when all tactics and training are set aside, the minotaurs win.
posted by explosion at 5:15 AM on August 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
I guess I can believe that when all tactics and training are set aside, the minotaurs win.
posted by explosion at 5:15 AM on August 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
Minotaurs, the Krogan of fantasy settings.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:57 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:57 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
The humans carry spears, but don't set up in formation against the charge?
In most Total War games (or at least since Rome II), a spear unit formation must be at least four men deep and not have moved for at least 5-10 seconds to brace against a charge. In addition, both the defensive unit and offensive unit have weight stats that must be compared against each other, either of which can be affected by bonuses or maluses (malii?) from a variety of factors.
posted by zombieflanders at 6:02 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
In most Total War games (or at least since Rome II), a spear unit formation must be at least four men deep and not have moved for at least 5-10 seconds to brace against a charge. In addition, both the defensive unit and offensive unit have weight stats that must be compared against each other, either of which can be affected by bonuses or maluses (malii?) from a variety of factors.
posted by zombieflanders at 6:02 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
I love minotaurs, I don't know why. Like, more than any other fantasy race. I'll be creating a whole new world with unique creatures, language and cultures and then be all like, "and here are the minotaurs." Because minotaurs rock.
So thank you for this video.
posted by charred husk at 6:07 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
So thank you for this video.
posted by charred husk at 6:07 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Minotaurs, the Krogan of fantasy settings.
No, no, no - Minotaurs are the Krogan of Classical Mythology, while the Krogan themselves are...uh...
...the Sahuagin of Sci-Fi?
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:28 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
No, no, no - Minotaurs are the Krogan of Classical Mythology, while the Krogan themselves are...uh...
...the Sahuagin of Sci-Fi?
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:28 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
So is eating a Minotaur cannibalism? Can you only eat the head and around the feet? Was the original Minotaur in Daedalus's maze a cannibal?
(Questions inspired by this comic.)
posted by Hactar at 7:14 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
(Questions inspired by this comic.)
posted by Hactar at 7:14 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm sort of disappointed there was no minotaur brigade on minotaur brigade charge. Also, in game, would have that many minotaurs in a formation?
posted by codacorolla at 7:56 AM on August 4, 2016
posted by codacorolla at 7:56 AM on August 4, 2016
Is it possible to count the number of hammers that appear in this game? Yes, I'm looking for a Total War: Warhammer hammer total.
posted by zamboni at 8:54 AM on August 4, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by zamboni at 8:54 AM on August 4, 2016 [9 favorites]
This is a timely post considering other news today: NIH Plans To Lift Ban On Research Funds For Part-Human, Part-Animal Embryos.
You know this is where we're headed.
posted by adamrice at 9:10 AM on August 4, 2016
You know this is where we're headed.
posted by adamrice at 9:10 AM on August 4, 2016
Is it possible to count the number of hammers that appear in this game? Yes, I'm looking for a Total War: Warhammer hammer total.
Some folks tried to do this, but there was a disagreement about if an easter egg cameo counted leading to the Total War: Warhammer hammer total MC Hammer war.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 10:49 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Some folks tried to do this, but there was a disagreement about if an easter egg cameo counted leading to the Total War: Warhammer hammer total MC Hammer war.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 10:49 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've read that the economics engine is broken, so your horrible hoard ends up not getting very big and you end up fighting the same small armies repeatedly. Please tell me this is all lies so I feel comfortable buying the game. I think I might like sending Beastmen minotaurs on a good dwarf stomp.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:34 PM on August 4, 2016
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:34 PM on August 4, 2016
charred husk: I love minotaurs, I don't know why. Like, more than any other fantasy race. I'll be creating a whole new world with unique creatures, language and cultures and then be all like, "and here are the minotaurs." Because minotaurs rock.
I'm pretty sure that was also the main principle guiding David "Zeb" Cook when he designed Taladas, the second continent in the Dragonlance setting. Damn, it's such a shame that TSR never did anything with Taladas, it was such a wonderful piece of world-building.
posted by Kattullus at 3:35 PM on August 4, 2016
I'm pretty sure that was also the main principle guiding David "Zeb" Cook when he designed Taladas, the second continent in the Dragonlance setting. Damn, it's such a shame that TSR never did anything with Taladas, it was such a wonderful piece of world-building.
posted by Kattullus at 3:35 PM on August 4, 2016
Also, The Clay That Woke - a tabletop RPG (more details via its successful Kickstarter) where every player is a minotaur.
posted by BiggerJ at 11:54 PM on August 4, 2016
posted by BiggerJ at 11:54 PM on August 4, 2016
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posted by ocular shenanigans at 2:36 AM on August 4, 2016