Choose Your Poison... I mean, Sugary Cereal
August 22, 2016 2:41 AM Subscribe
It's the one election that truly matters: General Mills Monster Cereal Election. A three-way race with Boo Berry, Count Chocula and Franken Berry. So far, the Count is winning with 42% of the total vote and leading in 43 states. (registration required to vote, but there are prizes for participating, unlike other elections... no, you may not write in the Lucky Charms Leprechaun - I tried)
Sadly, Fruit Brute did not receive the 15% of the popular vote needed to be a part of the debates. It didn't help that another candidate, Yummy Mummy, cut into hir demographic.
posted by kewb at 3:10 AM on August 22, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by kewb at 3:10 AM on August 22, 2016 [11 favorites]
General Mills can hold this illegitimate "election," I'll be backing the Captain's military government after he seizes power.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 3:20 AM on August 22, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 3:20 AM on August 22, 2016 [10 favorites]
Oh god, I use to have to create websites for things like this. I can't even visit them without think of the horror on all levels: deadlines overpromised, big egos trying to get on big accounts, up late making sure a hastily, new late requirement is working. Delivering the code to ANOTHER third party IT company that actually deploys the code to the servers. Having them sit on it for two months after you killed yourself getting out. Some 23 year old account girl who always has a fucking starbucks cup in her hand promoting herself for some bullshit internal corporate award.
Getting an emergency call at 9PM because EAMER isn't reporting Chocula votes. Getting on a phone call about it, me trying to explain to a third party IT company that this possibly can't be a code problem but if they ship us the logs I'D BE HAPPY TO HELP BECAUSE THAT'S OUR MOTTO. Because they're also trying to win work from large multinational, they make an assy comment about "another code problem," and now my boss' boss wants to know when it will be resolved because 23 year old account girl is worried we didn't do it right, and then I explain well we had no QA because you guys tried to underbid, and we had no requirements and everything is kind of half assed and I shipped code at 3 AM who knows if it worked.
But no one cares and there's the poor 26 year old who just got his big job out of being an entry bot and he thinks this is all exciting, because he's making enough money for the first time and there's pretty girls and advertising campaigns are sexy and we're up all night launching big things and it looks exciting I guess, and he's trying to figure out what could be wrong and you look at the logs finally that got FTP'd to you (but still require a VPN that doesn't quite work), and you notice that one of their servers are down and last time this happened no one did anything until you "fixed the code" and then you decide that no one cares who wins, you're tired, everyone is panicking and all you need to do is make sure you keep the email addresses, just make sure those get registered, so you take all you work add a random vote count so the vote LOOKS like its registering because that's better then it not registering or even taking time to fix it and no one will care because no one looks at these things to make sure if they actually work. So you do that and its a change in code so it means that third party IT company will actually deploy it, which you're fairly sure will bump the server causing the issue (which is the real problem but it is sometimes easier to just do this then convince them they need to just take the node out of the cluster and restart it). And it works but now you have a new project on a tighter deadline, and are burdened with meetings where we have to lie about what we did to fix it, and how to "make sure we don't repeat the Cereal Election problems again," but politically we can't say what happened or why it happened and know the best course out of this is to make something up so you don't have three more meetings on your calendar that say "Cereal Election Triage Meeting." And you just got an email that the prototype you made for a Fruit Loops campaign two years ago is down and you ask how did that get into production, it was a prototype, and you find out that someone liked it and thought it worked so just use that to save money.
I HATE YOU PRESIDENT CHOCULA
posted by geoff. at 3:36 AM on August 22, 2016 [90 favorites]
Getting an emergency call at 9PM because EAMER isn't reporting Chocula votes. Getting on a phone call about it, me trying to explain to a third party IT company that this possibly can't be a code problem but if they ship us the logs I'D BE HAPPY TO HELP BECAUSE THAT'S OUR MOTTO. Because they're also trying to win work from large multinational, they make an assy comment about "another code problem," and now my boss' boss wants to know when it will be resolved because 23 year old account girl is worried we didn't do it right, and then I explain well we had no QA because you guys tried to underbid, and we had no requirements and everything is kind of half assed and I shipped code at 3 AM who knows if it worked.
But no one cares and there's the poor 26 year old who just got his big job out of being an entry bot and he thinks this is all exciting, because he's making enough money for the first time and there's pretty girls and advertising campaigns are sexy and we're up all night launching big things and it looks exciting I guess, and he's trying to figure out what could be wrong and you look at the logs finally that got FTP'd to you (but still require a VPN that doesn't quite work), and you notice that one of their servers are down and last time this happened no one did anything until you "fixed the code" and then you decide that no one cares who wins, you're tired, everyone is panicking and all you need to do is make sure you keep the email addresses, just make sure those get registered, so you take all you work add a random vote count so the vote LOOKS like its registering because that's better then it not registering or even taking time to fix it and no one will care because no one looks at these things to make sure if they actually work. So you do that and its a change in code so it means that third party IT company will actually deploy it, which you're fairly sure will bump the server causing the issue (which is the real problem but it is sometimes easier to just do this then convince them they need to just take the node out of the cluster and restart it). And it works but now you have a new project on a tighter deadline, and are burdened with meetings where we have to lie about what we did to fix it, and how to "make sure we don't repeat the Cereal Election problems again," but politically we can't say what happened or why it happened and know the best course out of this is to make something up so you don't have three more meetings on your calendar that say "Cereal Election Triage Meeting." And you just got an email that the prototype you made for a Fruit Loops campaign two years ago is down and you ask how did that get into production, it was a prototype, and you find out that someone liked it and thought it worked so just use that to save money.
I HATE YOU PRESIDENT CHOCULA
posted by geoff. at 3:36 AM on August 22, 2016 [90 favorites]
I'm not voting for the Berry family. What is Count Chocula's position on Chex and balances?
posted by a lungful of dragon at 3:40 AM on August 22, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 3:40 AM on August 22, 2016 [11 favorites]
The Monster Cereals have always suffered from poor brand management. The Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy cereals in particular have totally inadequate flavor identification. They would've done better as something like WolfMango and CinnaMummy.
And right now they're missing out on some currently popular monsters: how about ZombAnana and 'NillaZilla?
I have just registered the trademarks on those names. General Mills, call me.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:43 AM on August 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
And right now they're missing out on some currently popular monsters: how about ZombAnana and 'NillaZilla?
I have just registered the trademarks on those names. General Mills, call me.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:43 AM on August 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
Just eat some chocolate for breakfast. Or the cereal box. You'd be better off nutritionally.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 3:56 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by GallonOfAlan at 3:56 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
I HATE YOU PRESIDENT CHOCULA
But no, I am absolutely not bitter!
posted by oheso at 4:19 AM on August 22, 2016
But no, I am absolutely not bitter!
posted by oheso at 4:19 AM on August 22, 2016
MAKE AMERICA BRUTE AGAIN
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:59 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:59 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you're under 30 and vote Chocula, you have no heart. If you're over 30 and vote Frankberry, you have no brains.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:08 AM on August 22, 2016 [18 favorites]
posted by middleclasstool at 5:08 AM on August 22, 2016 [18 favorites]
It kind of makes me sad though that Boo Berry is always the Jill Stein of these elections. Most people are like Boo Berry, you may be delicious, and I don't even know why, but I've never even tried you and I'm gonna die that way.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:10 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by middleclasstool at 5:10 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Is this the new election thread [real]?
posted by rikschell at 5:11 AM on August 22, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by rikschell at 5:11 AM on August 22, 2016 [5 favorites]
Can a Count hold an elected office in the Cereal Republic? I thought the deal at the end of the Revolution was that the aristocracy would all be pardoned, but the First Estate would never hold Executive or Legislative power....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:11 AM on August 22, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:11 AM on August 22, 2016 [5 favorites]
Why does Count Chocula refuse to release his long-form ingredients list? Is it because he was manufactured in Transylvania, making him disqualified to run?
posted by ejs at 5:14 AM on August 22, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by ejs at 5:14 AM on August 22, 2016 [11 favorites]
It kind of makes me sad though that Boo Berry is always the Jill Stein of these elections.
His Pros:
-Spooks for the People
-Scares Deeply about the Issues
-Promises Full Transparency
are definitely the best.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:14 AM on August 22, 2016 [23 favorites]
His Pros:
-Spooks for the People
-Scares Deeply about the Issues
-Promises Full Transparency
are definitely the best.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:14 AM on August 22, 2016 [23 favorites]
I support the restoration of King Vitamin
posted by thelonius at 5:31 AM on August 22, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 5:31 AM on August 22, 2016 [8 favorites]
Why does Count Chocula refuse to release his long-form ingredients list? Is it because he was manufactured in Transylvania, making him disqualified to run?
I don't care how big a pitchfork waving mob that FrankenBerry riles up, we've already settled this.
posted by dances with hamsters at 5:45 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't care how big a pitchfork waving mob that FrankenBerry riles up, we've already settled this.
posted by dances with hamsters at 5:45 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oh geoff. I hear you. I've been part of that damned conversation, only I'm the one calling you.
You see, my boss talked with the client and made some pretty outrageous promises. He didn't ask me, and he certainly didn't ask you, but the client asked and he said yes. After all, we've been able to figure out how to do something like that before (where "we" means you and I - but certainly not the boss - and "something like that" means something impossible and stupid and not remotely similar to this request).
So I've had to try to talk with the client to understand what the hell they want. They know all the buzzwords but they put them in the wrong order and with completely different meanings than anybody else. Eventually I've worked out an understanding that might actually achieve something close to what they want, and they've agreed, so I've put an explanation together as clear as possible for you so you can get started. Later on we'll discover the client who approved it doesn't have that authority, but that won't be until it's too late to do anything about it.
When you deliver the first version (and it's good work that I know matches their needs and requests), I'll review it with the client, who will immediately point out seven things that need to change. None of these will be details that were mentioned initially but all are considered vital. None of their changes will be informative - the font needs to change, but not to anything specific. The design is "off" in a completely arbitrary and undefined way. They can't describe what they want to see, but they'll know it when they see it. I'll point all this out to my boss, and he'll just tell me to "do what needs to be done" to please the client. So I'll package these notes to you, and you'll provide me with the changes.
This new version will address every single item on their list, so they have to come up with a new list. It will contain items that could and should have been addressed in the first list. It will contain items that were never mentioned initially. And again I'll go to the boss and point out we're now going over budget for this job he underbid to secure and we're pulling resources off jobs that pay better and pay more, but he'll just shrug this off and tell me to get it done.
Your next version will clear up all these problems, but the client will have further concerns. Magically, these concerns will have resulted from the changes made because it turns out your first version already considered those problems. So I have to bite my tongue from telling the client off, because I told them way back when that it was right but they insisted, and I know my boss won't have my back on this. I can only hope you haven't deleted your original version by now.
This finally gets presented to the client, who now indicates it needs to be approved by their boss. Type I boss doesn't give a damn, and would have been happy with the original version right away. Type II boss is an idiot, and requests the same changes that didn't work before, and just won't accept that they're wrong. Type III boss is actually smart, and wonders why the hell you're doing things this way because it completely misses the target (which your client contact will blame on me even though it's exactly what they requested). No matter which boss type you get, you'll make a few cosmetic adjustments and go ahead with it to get something out there.
After it's launched, the client will be late with payment because the boss didn't want to push things while the project was delayed. The company will end up with less than half the quote, which was underpriced to begin with. They won't secure that lucrative extension that was the whole point of the underbid. The boss won't take a pay cut, and he can't fire the team creating the websites, so I'll find my job being cut and the last thing on my resume was that stinking turd that was all my fault.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 5:50 AM on August 22, 2016 [19 favorites]
You see, my boss talked with the client and made some pretty outrageous promises. He didn't ask me, and he certainly didn't ask you, but the client asked and he said yes. After all, we've been able to figure out how to do something like that before (where "we" means you and I - but certainly not the boss - and "something like that" means something impossible and stupid and not remotely similar to this request).
So I've had to try to talk with the client to understand what the hell they want. They know all the buzzwords but they put them in the wrong order and with completely different meanings than anybody else. Eventually I've worked out an understanding that might actually achieve something close to what they want, and they've agreed, so I've put an explanation together as clear as possible for you so you can get started. Later on we'll discover the client who approved it doesn't have that authority, but that won't be until it's too late to do anything about it.
When you deliver the first version (and it's good work that I know matches their needs and requests), I'll review it with the client, who will immediately point out seven things that need to change. None of these will be details that were mentioned initially but all are considered vital. None of their changes will be informative - the font needs to change, but not to anything specific. The design is "off" in a completely arbitrary and undefined way. They can't describe what they want to see, but they'll know it when they see it. I'll point all this out to my boss, and he'll just tell me to "do what needs to be done" to please the client. So I'll package these notes to you, and you'll provide me with the changes.
This new version will address every single item on their list, so they have to come up with a new list. It will contain items that could and should have been addressed in the first list. It will contain items that were never mentioned initially. And again I'll go to the boss and point out we're now going over budget for this job he underbid to secure and we're pulling resources off jobs that pay better and pay more, but he'll just shrug this off and tell me to get it done.
Your next version will clear up all these problems, but the client will have further concerns. Magically, these concerns will have resulted from the changes made because it turns out your first version already considered those problems. So I have to bite my tongue from telling the client off, because I told them way back when that it was right but they insisted, and I know my boss won't have my back on this. I can only hope you haven't deleted your original version by now.
This finally gets presented to the client, who now indicates it needs to be approved by their boss. Type I boss doesn't give a damn, and would have been happy with the original version right away. Type II boss is an idiot, and requests the same changes that didn't work before, and just won't accept that they're wrong. Type III boss is actually smart, and wonders why the hell you're doing things this way because it completely misses the target (which your client contact will blame on me even though it's exactly what they requested). No matter which boss type you get, you'll make a few cosmetic adjustments and go ahead with it to get something out there.
After it's launched, the client will be late with payment because the boss didn't want to push things while the project was delayed. The company will end up with less than half the quote, which was underpriced to begin with. They won't secure that lucrative extension that was the whole point of the underbid. The boss won't take a pay cut, and he can't fire the team creating the websites, so I'll find my job being cut and the last thing on my resume was that stinking turd that was all my fault.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 5:50 AM on August 22, 2016 [19 favorites]
-Promises Full Transparency
This already made my Monday
posted by Flashman at 5:57 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
This already made my Monday
posted by Flashman at 5:57 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
...or at least a pale substitute for the flavor of chocolate.
posted by ejs at 6:08 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by ejs at 6:08 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am the client and I don't know what you two are making excuses over, I don't understand why you can't just do the magic thing and get it done so we can move product.
Also make the logo bigger.
j/k flagged as fantastic for both of you, this would never happen in a BooBerry Administration
posted by Mchelly at 6:09 AM on August 22, 2016 [7 favorites]
Also make the logo bigger.
j/k flagged as fantastic for both of you, this would never happen in a BooBerry Administration
posted by Mchelly at 6:09 AM on August 22, 2016 [7 favorites]
I voted for Count Chocula because he's the only one whose massive amounts of food coloring don't turn your poop an unnatural color. I'm a single-issue voter, but it's an important issue.
posted by Etrigan at 6:12 AM on August 22, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 6:12 AM on August 22, 2016 [8 favorites]
I'd vote for Boo Berry in a heartbeat but for the fact that his campaign promises are insubstantial
posted by middleclasstool at 6:13 AM on August 22, 2016
posted by middleclasstool at 6:13 AM on August 22, 2016
BooBerry was always my favorite, and also the hardest to find, most places seemed to only stock Count Chocula and FrankenBerry. Then my mom went on a health kick and only cereals without sugar were allowed in the house. The eighties were rough, man.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:18 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by rabbitrabbit at 6:18 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
The map view shows that there are only 7 boo states.
posted by grounded at 6:39 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by grounded at 6:39 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
It kind of makes me sad though that Boo Berry is always the Jill Stein of these elections.
His Pros:
-Spooks for the People
-Scares Deeply about the Issues
-Promises Full Transparency
are definitely the best.
He's still got that nonsense in the party platform about the medical efficacy of seances, and I just can't support that kind of woo in my Boo.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:56 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
His Pros:
-Spooks for the People
-Scares Deeply about the Issues
-Promises Full Transparency
are definitely the best.
He's still got that nonsense in the party platform about the medical efficacy of seances, and I just can't support that kind of woo in my Boo.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:56 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Frankenberry needs a copy editor:
Frankenberry Pros:
-Full of engery
-Is always frank
-Will provide strong leadership
I blame Meredith.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:00 AM on August 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
Frankenberry Pros:
-Full of engery
-Is always frank
-Will provide strong leadership
I blame Meredith.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:00 AM on August 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
Poor, deceived Etrigan. All that brown food colouring is just covering up the REAL colour of your feces, which should be warning you of all the health problems you're blindly and willfully ignoring. Your candidate is killing you but covering it up with happy chocolatey promises.
Remember to use a tinfoil-wrapped spoon to protect yourself from coded messages in your AlphaBits.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 7:06 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Remember to use a tinfoil-wrapped spoon to protect yourself from coded messages in your AlphaBits.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 7:06 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
As much as I like Boo Berry (the isidewith website puts us at a 98% match) I'm going to have to hold my nose and go with FrankenBerry. Boo Berry just won't be able to take on Chocula's brand of populism. Frankenberry's questionable past (I suspect, as a Frankenstein monster, some of his parts have got to lean Right), muddled messaging (is he supposed be strawberry flavoured? or something else?) and his sweet forward pandering irk me but I just can't stand Chocula's false chocolate taste and the cloying attempts at being an everyday kind of cereal. A small comfort for me but I hope Frankenberry will accept some of Boo Berry's more progressive policies into his platform.
posted by Ashwagandha at 7:07 AM on August 22, 2016
posted by Ashwagandha at 7:07 AM on August 22, 2016
I'm going to have to tweet General Mills and inform them that FrankenBerry was the doctor's name.
posted by ejs at 7:14 AM on August 22, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by ejs at 7:14 AM on August 22, 2016 [8 favorites]
I just can't stand Chocula's false chocolate taste and the cloying attempts at being an everyday kind of cereal.
He's hundreds of years old and lives in a castle; how can he understand the needs of not-yet-undead?
posted by leotrotsky at 8:05 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
He's hundreds of years old and lives in a castle; how can he understand the needs of not-yet-undead?
posted by leotrotsky at 8:05 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
On the Count's favor, it's nice to have a neoliberal candidate who's honest about battening on the blood of the Workers....
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:09 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:09 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
And I'm really sick of Franken Berry's claims to be a "self made man." We have the blueprints and lab notes, Berry!
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:12 AM on August 22, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:12 AM on August 22, 2016 [3 favorites]
Is it because he was manufactured in Transylvania, making him disqualified to run?
According to his unofficial biography, he was actually born in Estonia.
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:26 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
According to his unofficial biography, he was actually born in Estonia.
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:26 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
ANYONE BUT FRANKEN BERRY
One of my Very First Memories from childhood is the time I ate Franken Berry by the handful until I vomited. #neverforget
posted by roger ackroyd at 8:28 AM on August 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
One of my Very First Memories from childhood is the time I ate Franken Berry by the handful until I vomited. #neverforget
posted by roger ackroyd at 8:28 AM on August 22, 2016 [4 favorites]
We freed ourselves from the tyranny of King Vitaman for this?
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:57 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:57 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
#stopchoc
posted by hot_monster at 9:47 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by hot_monster at 9:47 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
One of my Very First Memories from childhood is the time I ate Franken Berry by the handful until I vomited. #neverforget
I remember eating dog biscuits
posted by thelonius at 9:54 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
I remember eating dog biscuits
posted by thelonius at 9:54 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
Dog Biscuits for President!
posted by roger ackroyd at 10:10 AM on August 22, 2016
posted by roger ackroyd at 10:10 AM on August 22, 2016
I came to this election thread to seek shelter from the bumper sticker discussion that took over the other one
So uh is Muesli/French Toast Crunch '16 cool or can we only vote for mascots
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:20 AM on August 22, 2016
So uh is Muesli/French Toast Crunch '16 cool or can we only vote for mascots
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:20 AM on August 22, 2016
It's a sham election. This guy is the true ruler!
Oh my god, I had completely forgotten the existence of that until this moment. I think I actually used to like that stuff, too.
Anyway, I, for one, welcome our alien overlords.
posted by dnash at 10:44 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh my god, I had completely forgotten the existence of that until this moment. I think I actually used to like that stuff, too.
Anyway, I, for one, welcome our alien overlords.
posted by dnash at 10:44 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yeah, I'm working to help Fruit Brute get pushed up to 15%, so he can be considered in 2020.... I'm also a fan of the Creature from the Macaroon Lagoon.
I continue to be worried that Count Chocula will embroil us in yet another of the Captain's wars on Soggies (seems like we have always been at war with the soggies).
At the same time, Frankenberry was completely willing to say the Cookie Crisp burglar was 'too crunchy to jail', and mental health treatment for addicts like Cuckoo the Cocoa Puffs bird lags far behind.
Both sides are bad, so vote Fruity.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 11:28 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
I continue to be worried that Count Chocula will embroil us in yet another of the Captain's wars on Soggies (seems like we have always been at war with the soggies).
At the same time, Frankenberry was completely willing to say the Cookie Crisp burglar was 'too crunchy to jail', and mental health treatment for addicts like Cuckoo the Cocoa Puffs bird lags far behind.
Both sides are bad, so vote Fruity.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 11:28 AM on August 22, 2016 [2 favorites]
Look, as long as the Trix Rabbit has absolutely no access at all to the reigns of power, I'll be fine with whomever the winner is.
posted by droplet at 11:35 AM on August 22, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by droplet at 11:35 AM on August 22, 2016 [3 favorites]
How can anyone not vote for Boo Berry?! He turns your milk boo! I mean blue! I mean BOO!
posted by lubujackson at 11:50 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by lubujackson at 11:50 AM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
Don't let them tell you your vote doesn't matter... WRITE IN A VOTE FOR FRUITY YUMMY MUMMY IF YOU THINK THEY'RE RIGHT ON THE ISSUES!
posted by elr at 12:16 PM on August 22, 2016
posted by elr at 12:16 PM on August 22, 2016
Yeah, I'm working to help Fruit Brute get pushed up to 15%, so he can be considered in 2020
#ImWithFur
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:06 PM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
#ImWithFur
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:06 PM on August 22, 2016 [1 favorite]
...or at least a pale substitute for the flavor of chocolate.
I like to call it chalkolate.
posted by kewb at 4:15 AM on August 23, 2016
I like to call it chalkolate.
posted by kewb at 4:15 AM on August 23, 2016
On the Boo Berry ghost...
But seriously, look at their spokesman. He looks like a hung-over roommate who had to go into work that day because otherwise he'd get fired. Such a lovely I Don't Give A Fuck look on his face. It's like he's saying, "yeah kids, I guess you could eat this stuff, but let's face it, it's gonna make your teeth fall out and turn your poop blue. aaah, whatever, here are some fucking marshmallows."
-- Afroblanco, 2009
posted by panama joe at 7:58 AM on August 23, 2016
But seriously, look at their spokesman. He looks like a hung-over roommate who had to go into work that day because otherwise he'd get fired. Such a lovely I Don't Give A Fuck look on his face. It's like he's saying, "yeah kids, I guess you could eat this stuff, but let's face it, it's gonna make your teeth fall out and turn your poop blue. aaah, whatever, here are some fucking marshmallows."
-- Afroblanco, 2009
posted by panama joe at 7:58 AM on August 23, 2016
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posted by Sys Rq at 3:08 AM on August 22, 2016 [7 favorites]