True Facts about the Octopus
September 1, 2016 9:46 AM Subscribe
Though I eat all kinds of meat, I stopped eating octopuses (and squids) a while ago. The thought of eating what's probably the oldest, alien-est intelligence on the planet weirds me out, sort of like eating dolphin, whale or chimp only worse somehow because they're so unlike us.
Which is sometimes hard as many of my favorite cuisines are pretty cephalopod-heavy.
posted by signal at 9:54 AM on September 1, 2016 [26 favorites]
Which is sometimes hard as many of my favorite cuisines are pretty cephalopod-heavy.
posted by signal at 9:54 AM on September 1, 2016 [26 favorites]
Needs a ZeFrank tag.
posted by rorgy at 9:55 AM on September 1, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by rorgy at 9:55 AM on September 1, 2016 [7 favorites]
As with signal, I found that I couldn't eat octopuses after reading The Soul of an Octopus.
posted by janey47 at 9:57 AM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by janey47 at 9:57 AM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
Beat me to it, janey47.
support your local indie bookseller
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:03 AM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
support your local indie bookseller
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:03 AM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
HOW DID I NEVER KNOW ABOUT ZEFRANK BEFORE? Mrs. Pterodactyl, I owe you big time!
posted by janey47 at 10:04 AM on September 1, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by janey47 at 10:04 AM on September 1, 2016 [3 favorites]
I show True Facts About The Tarsier every time I teach the Living Primates.
posted by ChuraChura at 10:07 AM on September 1, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by ChuraChura at 10:07 AM on September 1, 2016 [10 favorites]
I show True Facts About The Tarsier every time I teach the Living Primates.
You teach non-living primates? Or maybe you have a non-primate class section. It must be cephalopods! Good for you! I am always excited to see increased educational opportunities for my octopus brethren.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:12 AM on September 1, 2016 [8 favorites]
You teach non-living primates? Or maybe you have a non-primate class section. It must be cephalopods! Good for you! I am always excited to see increased educational opportunities for my octopus brethren.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:12 AM on September 1, 2016 [8 favorites]
Every time I think about octopuses, this comes to mind:
posted by Hactar at 10:13 AM on September 1, 2016 [21 favorites]
“The sea is full of saints. You know that? You know that: you're a big boy.― China Miéville, Kraken
The sea's full of saints and it's been full of saints for years. Since longer than anything. Saints were there before there were even gods. They were waiting for them, and they're still there now.
Saints eat fish and shellfish. Some of them catch jellyfish and some of them eat rubbish. Some saints eat anything they can find. They hide under rocks; they turn themselves inside out: they spit up spirals. There's nothing saints don't do.
Make this shape with your hands. Like that. Move your fingers. There, you made a saint. Look out, here come another one! Now they're fighting! Yours won.
There aren't any big corkscrew saints anymore, but there are still ones like sacks and ones like coils, and ones like robes with flapping sleeves. What's your favourite saint? I'll tell you mine. But wait a minute, first, do you know what it is makes them all saints? They're all a holy family, they're all cousins. Of each other, and of ... you know what else they're cousins of?
That's right. Of gods.”
posted by Hactar at 10:13 AM on September 1, 2016 [21 favorites]
I stopped eating octopuses (and squids) a while ago.
Clams are okay though. They are dumb as hell.
posted by mcstayinskool at 10:15 AM on September 1, 2016 [11 favorites]
Clams are okay though. They are dumb as hell.
posted by mcstayinskool at 10:15 AM on September 1, 2016 [11 favorites]
Clams are okay though. They are dumb as hell.
Probably explains why they're so happy.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:32 AM on September 1, 2016 [14 favorites]
Probably explains why they're so happy.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:32 AM on September 1, 2016 [14 favorites]
Clams are okay though. They are dumb as hell.
I'm not sure I agree with this theory. I had trouble getting the cap off a bottle of pills yesterday. What if some alien species decided I was dumb enough to eat? Would that be OK?
posted by metasluggo at 10:47 AM on September 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure I agree with this theory. I had trouble getting the cap off a bottle of pills yesterday. What if some alien species decided I was dumb enough to eat? Would that be OK?
posted by metasluggo at 10:47 AM on September 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
"Yes, they get a little mushy on land, but don't judge. It's like reverse shrinkage. Imagine what they think when we skinny dip. 'What happened to your little arm?'. That's what they say."
posted by christopherious at 10:48 AM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by christopherious at 10:48 AM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
I may have mentioned this before, but I once heard a marine biologist say that she'd never eat octopus, but she'd have no qualms about eating squid, because they may be intelligent but they're also mean and hateful.
posted by Flexagon at 11:02 AM on September 1, 2016 [14 favorites]
posted by Flexagon at 11:02 AM on September 1, 2016 [14 favorites]
Oh man, toddlerozzy went through a brief octopus phase, which meant searching Youtube for octopus videos because I know next to nothing about octopus. Thankfully we found this one pretty quickly, and watched it about six hundred times.
Now she is into Finding Dory, which we have only experienced in Little Golden Book form, and she has many questions about Hank, although I have stopped trying to explain that he is a septopus, because it makes her mad for some reason (the reason is because she's two).
... the Floppy-Floppy Spider of the Sea ...
posted by uncleozzy at 11:07 AM on September 1, 2016
Now she is into Finding Dory, which we have only experienced in Little Golden Book form, and she has many questions about Hank, although I have stopped trying to explain that he is a septopus, because it makes her mad for some reason (the reason is because she's two).
... the Floppy-Floppy Spider of the Sea ...
posted by uncleozzy at 11:07 AM on September 1, 2016
I talked about my feelings for octopuses in this comment. My most favorited ever.
I am glad to report that I recently visited the Monterey aquarium and talked to an octopus person. There have been enough advances in octopus keeping in the last couple of years that now an aquarist of intermediate skill with a few thousand extra dollars could conceivably keep and breed them.
Like having a super smart grey parrot pet, but with a 1 or 2, instead of 30, years commitment.
Keeping them stimulated and happy is still a challenge, but responsible pet owners already know this, and know that it is half the fun.
Btw, I must be some kind of hypocrite, but I can admire and be awed by octopuses at the same time that I think they are delicious.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 11:32 AM on September 1, 2016 [8 favorites]
I am glad to report that I recently visited the Monterey aquarium and talked to an octopus person. There have been enough advances in octopus keeping in the last couple of years that now an aquarist of intermediate skill with a few thousand extra dollars could conceivably keep and breed them.
Like having a super smart grey parrot pet, but with a 1 or 2, instead of 30, years commitment.
Keeping them stimulated and happy is still a challenge, but responsible pet owners already know this, and know that it is half the fun.
Btw, I must be some kind of hypocrite, but I can admire and be awed by octopuses at the same time that I think they are delicious.
posted by Doroteo Arango II at 11:32 AM on September 1, 2016 [8 favorites]
zefrank is the best.
He was the best. Then he was put in charge of BuzzFeed Video and just sort of became a grasping capitalist like everyone else.
posted by maxsparber at 11:54 AM on September 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
He was the best. Then he was put in charge of BuzzFeed Video and just sort of became a grasping capitalist like everyone else.
posted by maxsparber at 11:54 AM on September 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
The thought of eating what's probably the oldest, alien-est intelligence on the planet weirds me out
"That is not dead which can eternal fry up nicely with just a little seasoned flour and a lemon wedge to serve"
posted by howfar at 11:58 AM on September 1, 2016 [11 favorites]
"That is not dead which can eternal fry up nicely with just a little seasoned flour and a lemon wedge to serve"
posted by howfar at 11:58 AM on September 1, 2016 [11 favorites]
Yeah, man, he TOTALLY sold out. His early stuff was like, cool, but now he sucks.
/whatever
posted by uberchet at 12:00 PM on September 1, 2016 [6 favorites]
/whatever
posted by uberchet at 12:00 PM on September 1, 2016 [6 favorites]
They can never take The Show from us.
posted by belarius at 12:20 PM on September 1, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by belarius at 12:20 PM on September 1, 2016 [4 favorites]
Metafilter: Basically everything they do is hardcore.
posted by allthinky at 12:38 PM on September 1, 2016
posted by allthinky at 12:38 PM on September 1, 2016
The video of the two octopuses having sex made me feel so inadequate.
posted by bukvich at 3:27 PM on September 1, 2016
posted by bukvich at 3:27 PM on September 1, 2016
Mrs. Pterodactyl: I am always excited to see increased educational opportunities for my octopus brethren.
Your sudden enthusiasm for octopuses is leading me to suspect that you doctored the pictures of your recently-arrived bundle of joy. Just how many adorable arms are there under that blanket, hmmm?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:16 PM on September 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
Your sudden enthusiasm for octopuses is leading me to suspect that you doctored the pictures of your recently-arrived bundle of joy. Just how many adorable arms are there under that blanket, hmmm?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:16 PM on September 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
zefrank is the best.
He was the best
*sigh*
That is how the Ze do.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:06 PM on September 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
He was the best
*sigh*
That is how the Ze do.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:06 PM on September 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
I use Ze Frank's stuff (with some editing) to teach students digital storytelling. They make fake Olympic events, videos based on his "Nerd Fight" song, write and record their own Sad Cat Diary...
...and they leave loving Ze. And singing "Nerd Fight."
My favourite of the True Facts videos is the one on Marsupials. I also have the Koalas in the Rain song from the end as my ringtone. Oh, and the Morgan Freeman one is amazing.
posted by guster4lovers at 7:32 PM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
...and they leave loving Ze. And singing "Nerd Fight."
My favourite of the True Facts videos is the one on Marsupials. I also have the Koalas in the Rain song from the end as my ringtone. Oh, and the Morgan Freeman one is amazing.
posted by guster4lovers at 7:32 PM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]
I lived on the gulf coast in Florida for a couple of years, once out fishing for grouper on a party boat someone hauled up an octopus, maybe two foot long if it would have stayed still, but it surely didn't stay still. It came out of the water with all of its arms waving around unhappily as you might imagine, one hell of a sight.
I'd like to think that the captain got the hook out and chunked it back overboard but I'm not certain, it's 40 years ago.
We were fishing for -- and catching, too -- we were fishing for grouper, not octopus. But you never have any idea what's going to be on the end of your line when you're in salt water, could be a bitty salt-water catfish, could be a hammerhead shark. Could be an octopus, as happened that day.
posted by dancestoblue at 3:09 AM on September 2, 2016
I'd like to think that the captain got the hook out and chunked it back overboard but I'm not certain, it's 40 years ago.
We were fishing for -- and catching, too -- we were fishing for grouper, not octopus. But you never have any idea what's going to be on the end of your line when you're in salt water, could be a bitty salt-water catfish, could be a hammerhead shark. Could be an octopus, as happened that day.
posted by dancestoblue at 3:09 AM on September 2, 2016
Your sudden enthusiasm for octopuses is leading me to suspect that you doctored the pictures of your recently-arrived bundle of joy. Just how many adorable arms are there under that blanket, hmmm?
Close! She's actually a kraken.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 5:30 AM on September 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
Close! She's actually a kraken.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 5:30 AM on September 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
"RELEASE THE KRAKEN" -- the worst midwife ever.
posted by howfar at 7:47 AM on September 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by howfar at 7:47 AM on September 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
she'd have no qualms about eating squid, because they may be intelligent but they're also mean and hateful.
Yes! The only reason you aren't being eaten by a squid RIGHT NOW is either it's too small, or you're not right next to it.
Octopus can change color, texture, escape cages, and if you give one a mirror will look in it with soulful eyes.
posted by lkc at 7:32 PM on September 2, 2016
Yes! The only reason you aren't being eaten by a squid RIGHT NOW is either it's too small, or you're not right next to it.
Octopus can change color, texture, escape cages, and if you give one a mirror will look in it with soulful eyes.
posted by lkc at 7:32 PM on September 2, 2016
« Older Enhance 224 to 176. Move in. Stop. Pull out, track... | Bob Comis and The Last Pig Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:51 AM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]