Sir Derek Jacoby vs Dame Helen Mirren was my undoing.

September 21, 2016 6:56 PM

It seems simple enough. You are presented with two celebrities, and you must choose. Which. One. Vapes.
posted by Rock Steady (55 comments total)

When did David Letterman get that beard?
posted by Going To Maine at 7:03 PM on September 21, 2016

When he started vaping.
posted by gc at 7:10 PM on September 21, 2016 [16 favorites]

Man, I do not care if Jack McBrayer comes to my home and tries to sell me a vape rig, I still won't vote for him.
posted by Etrigan at 7:20 PM on September 21, 2016

Inspired by this week's episode of my brother my brother and me COTTON
posted by maxsparber at 7:21 PM on September 21, 2016 [9 favorites]

When did David Letterman get that beard?

When he started vaping.

And stopped taping.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:25 PM on September 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure Alan Rickman is not the correct answer.
posted by Dr. Zira at 7:28 PM on September 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Wait, is this which one vapes vs. which one smokes their cannabis or which vapes vs. doesn't consume cannabis.

The other consumption options can only confuse things.
posted by VTX at 7:42 PM on September 21, 2016

It's not about the kind. This is about blowing that good good cotton. Just like massive cumulonimbus.
posted by supercres at 7:47 PM on September 21, 2016 [14 favorites]

The problem with vaping is that it removes the only advantage of smoking cigerettes - making you look cool.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 7:47 PM on September 21, 2016 [13 favorites]

Are you kidding? There's nothing cooler than ripping fat clouds out of an ugly lightsaber.

Also Shia LaBeouf is at the top of the leaderboards, so everything seems to be working correctly.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:52 PM on September 21, 2016 [7 favorites]

Great job, nimbus boys
posted by DangerIsMyMiddleName at 7:56 PM on September 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Vape transcends death. Travis said so.

Marilyn Monroe > Ben Affleck
posted by supercres at 7:59 PM on September 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

Interesting to observe myself making judgements about who looks more or less like a degenerate (or a hopeful ex-degenerate). Too old to get into the gear? Too young to have smoked in the first place? Who looks most emotionally unstable or attentionally bereft? Who's got the glow of conversion about them? (Also, is there an end to the voting?)
posted by cotton dress sock at 8:08 PM on September 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

"Least likely to vape: Bruce Lee"

Yeah well, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
posted by Itaxpica at 8:50 PM on September 21, 2016 [2 favorites]

A few of these I'd totally believe vaped tobacco but not weed, does that count?
posted by Jon_Evil at 9:02 PM on September 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

They're clearly taking liberties with the word "celebrity" here. Who are these c-list no-names?
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:11 PM on September 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

Boy, it's just instantly obvious who listens to MBMBAM in this thread, isn't it?
posted by maxsparber at 9:15 PM on September 21, 2016 [10 favorites]

Shit. I thought it was which celebrities would I most like to vape.


Cause I'd totally vape the remains of Chris Pine...
posted by Joseph Gurl at 9:42 PM on September 21, 2016

Boy, it's just instantly obvious who listens to MBMBAM in this thread, isn't it?

Oh so you're saying there's important context that hasn't been provided? Sweet.
posted by dersins at 10:01 PM on September 21, 2016 [15 favorites]

Boy, it’s just instantly obvious who listens to MBMBAM in this thread, isn’t it?

Oh so you’re saying there’s important context that hasn’t been provided? Sweet.

Some context is on the site
posted by Going To Maine at 10:05 PM on September 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got no answers, but that's OK, I didn't really understand the question.
posted by bongo_x at 10:11 PM on September 21, 2016

Not so much context as a whole lot of fake vape slang.
posted by maxsparber at 10:15 PM on September 21, 2016 [1 favorite]

The "most likely to vape" leaderboards right now:
1. Corey Feldman
2. Josh Gad
3. Shia Labeouf
4. A.J. McLean
5. Steve-O
6. Jared Leto

That feels about right.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:03 AM on September 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

I like how Lupita Nyong'o is somehow less likely to vape than Toshiro Mifune.
posted by brundlefly at 12:16 AM on September 22, 2016

I like how Lupita Nyong'o is somehow less likely to vape than Toshiro Mifune.

I am vaguely suspicious of racial bias in the labeling, actually…
posted by Going To Maine at 12:29 AM on September 22, 2016

The first one I got was James Franco vs somebody else. Franco is clearly a vapelord.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 12:46 AM on September 22, 2016

I remember seeing a gossipy headline somewhere about "Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry share a vape pen at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party!" if that helps.
posted by valkane at 1:46 AM on September 22, 2016

The episode aired yesterday!
It's a pretty simple app, but even so 24 hours is an impressive turnaround.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 3:30 AM on September 22, 2016 [3 favorites]

Needs more historical figures.

Carl von Clausewitz vs Katy Perry
Bruce Springsteen vs Harry Truman
Pope Alexander VI vs Clara Bow
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:47 AM on September 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

> Boy, it's just instantly obvious who listens to MBMBAM in this thread, isn't it?

Seriously I only started listening a couple weeks ago, piling a couple dozen hours of old shows onto a portable player to retain a sense of contact with humanity during a long and stressful house move. The show has stayed in my podcast feed thing, though, just in time apparently for both this and the announcement of their tv show.

Which is not to say I stumbled into this out of the blue because los bros McElroy are ubiquitous in the podcast world and I'm pretty sure that there is a secret international treaty that every podcast is required to have a certain minimum McElroy content, but listening to MBMBAM is like mainlining the pure stuff, and if I hadn't already been half out of my gourd from the aforementioned moving-house things I'd be better prepared to report on the immersive, hallucinogenic quality of listening to these specific three guys shooting the shit for an hour, but extended through all waking hours of the day.
posted by ardgedee at 4:10 AM on September 22, 2016 [4 favorites]

yuck
posted by amtho at 4:11 AM on September 22, 2016

I'm vaping right now! (not cannabis, just the regular stuff; purpose: to not smoke cigarettes)

re judgments, speaking only for myself: a degenerate? If so, pretty much The Most Boring Degenerate Ever. Too old to get into the gear? Pretty old, but apparently not too old for this (I even make my own vaping liquids, and I'm old enough to be your mother. probably.) Too young to have smoked in the first place? ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* If only! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ Emotionally unstable or attentionally bereft? Very emotionally stable, not at all prone to attention seeking (if anything, probably the opposite). Glow of conversion? hmmmm. Not so much, unless someone really, really, really needs extra help to stop with the cigs. If you can do it without vaping, that's the way to go ... so not exactly an evangelist.

But also not in the US, so there's less judgment or shaming about either smoking or vaping. Also just quickly regarding what little I managed to listen to from mbmbam, the whole "blowing huge clouds of vapor" thing is not something every vaper does. I can't say "most" don't because I can't possibly know – but for those who don't, you're not really noticing them, right? I don't, and in fact I can actually vape with zero or nearly-zero cloud. It's not hard, but it takes a tiny bit of concentration.

I quit cigarettes by vaping, then nearly quit vaping without taking up smoking again (down to 1 to 0 mg/ml nicotine, and only occasionally vaping), then started smoking again because of some stupid stress, now going back through the whole thing again.

/ Which. One. Vapes., Mefite edition
posted by taz at 4:48 AM on September 22, 2016 [5 favorites]

MBMBAM tv show? Let me just google that and LOL
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:56 AM on September 22, 2016

I'm no expert on vaping, but it was my impression that most vape culture tropes and vape rigs were based on nicotine-based juice. I'm not so naive to imagine people don't vape THC, but from the little knowledge I have I thought marijuana vaporizers aren't interchangeable with nicotine ones.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:15 AM on September 22, 2016

Which. One. Vapes., Mefite edition

MeFi's Own™ Steve Wozniak, or MeFi's Own™ Scott Adams?
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:15 AM on September 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

You are right, Mr.Encyclopedia.
posted by taz at 6:18 AM on September 22, 2016

Yeah, ecigs use a liquid solution and weed vaporizers use loose weed, although some people have started making eliquid with THC in it.

(For the record, I listened to this ep and still found this post to be annoyingly lacking in context)
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:21 AM on September 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah, ecigs use a liquid solution and weed vaporizers use loose weed, although some people have started making eliquid with THC in it.
Cannabis vape cartridges are a huge market here in the Evergreen State. Tons of choices at my local weed store that feels like an Apple Store.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 8:31 AM on September 22, 2016

Cotton.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:35 AM on September 22, 2016

any matchup involving Gavin DeGraw is just over before it ever starts.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 10:23 AM on September 22, 2016

Spoilers, I haven't listened to this week's episode yet!

Also, there's a guy I've bumped into twice now who blows vape bubbles. I wasn't able to witness the exact process, but he has his "rig" as well as something that I can only describe as looking very similar to a child's plastic recorder (you know, the musical instrument they made you learn in elementary school). He makes these vape-filled bubbles in public spaces, and the bubbles travel a hell of a lot farther than any normal exhaust coming out of his mouth. Once, the wind carried them and they burst all over me.

Naturally, it smells like strawberry.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:38 AM on September 22, 2016

Oh taz, I'd join you in your non-degeneracy, if I could only figure out how to not burn the dang wick. I got the Cadillac of vaping machinery (of I think 2014), and butterfingers over here had to keep going back to the vape shop to get the thing working.

Also, of *course*, the only flavours I liked had "popcorn-lung"-causing diacetyl in them. Which I irrationally feel is scarier than the cancer-causing devil I know, and less usable than diacetyl-free juice. Or would be if I could get the stupid device to work.

Also, I ended up vaping all day. (While the wick worked.)

It's unquestionably better than smoking, just can't do it.

(Constantly shamed for smoking - I mean, rightly - and was for vaping. Although I could do without the obnoxious fake coughing. I already hide behind dumpsters to smoke, not sure where it's acceptable to engage in this - still-legal - addiction, which will be paying for people's X-rays long after I kick it.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 11:34 AM on September 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

(Cotton Dress Sock, that coughing isn't necessarily fake. My body seriously does not like cigarette smoke, for example)
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:55 PM on September 22, 2016

Not necessarily, of course. But sometimes, it's someone making a point (this has been admitted to me!). You can tell because it's high-pitched, kind of dry, people work into it - it just doesn't sound like an actual cough. (It's like an "eh-HEH", sort of pointed at you.) Which is fine, whatever, people can do that. I'm just saying, it's unpleasant to be directly shamed that way.

(I'm not claiming it's lovely that I smoke, by any means. I actually do hang by the dumpster to do it, hide my cigarette when I see a kid coming - really, I couldn't be more apologetic about it. Am approaching, I believe, my 9th quit attempt. Wish I'd never started. I'm out, ahead of any lectures in case those are coming, sorry! )
posted by cotton dress sock at 5:10 PM on September 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

> (For the record, I listened to this ep and still found this post to be annoyingly lacking in context)

Since I'm not sure what context you need, I'm going to overexplain the shit out of this. My Brother My Brother And Me is weekly hour-long podcast in which three brothers, family name McElroy, tell crude jokes, read advice questions (mostly from Yahoo Answers) using them as platforms for more crude jokes, and use the sponsor breaks in each episode as a means to tell even more crude jokes. In the meanwhile, they set up running gags to crack each other up, often through crude jokes. They're keyed into popular culture of the 90s to the present in an acute way that would make me wary about going up against any of them on Trivia Night, but since the conversation continually roams all over the place you don't miss much by not getting some reference or another.

Despite this, it's laugh-out-loud funny.

Episode spoilers below
The latest episode has a question that becomes a setup for, basically, riffing on vaping slang by trying to coin the most ludicrous-sounding jargon possible, and also becomes a discussion on which celebrities vape, which leads to a Hot Or Not-style parlor game about it, which leads to the discussion of creating an actual "Vape Or Not" website. And then a day later, a MBMBAM fan goes ahead and makes that site, which is linked in this FPP.
Episode spoilers above

That's about it, seriously. There's not a hell of a lot there, because the whole point of the show is three guys tell crude jokes and crack each other up.
posted by ardgedee at 5:22 PM on September 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

Currently ranked number one "most likely to vape" on Which One Vapes: Criss Angel

and the world is whole once again
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:12 PM on September 22, 2016

Is the podcast as good as Monster Factory/Car Boys/their other Polygon videos?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:52 PM on September 22, 2016

Is the podcast as good as Monster Factory/Car Boys/their other Polygon videos?

MBMBaM is the ur-podcast from which all the rest have come; it isthe flagship of the enterprise - take that for what you will. To my mind, it’s the least entertaining thing they’ve made, but it’s also the one nearest to their hearts and that will continue long after all the rest.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:04 PM on September 22, 2016

Did they invent putting an absurd word before the word 'Boy' in a cute voice? The Duckfeed guys do that heaps.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 9:17 PM on September 22, 2016 [1 favorite]

They may not have invented it, but they sure did plant their flag in it. They even have the confidence in it to not use a silly voice when doing so.
posted by DoctorFedora at 12:12 AM on September 23, 2016 [2 favorites]

Is the podcast as good as Monster Factory/Car Boys/their other Polygon videos?

It's certainly more hit or miss, as you would expect from an hour of essentially non-edited content per week vs. 20 carefully edited minutes every few weeks. That said, when they hit their stride in an episode of MBMBaM they can make me laugh like just about nothing else.

the whole point of the show is three guys tell crude jokes and crack each other up

You're not wrong, but as far as comedy podcasts go, I don't find them that crude. They can stray into some raunchy material, but a lot of it is more goofy than blue.

I'm vaping right now!

taz, I think vaping is one of those things that is at its core a relatively inoffensive pursuit that is useful if not essential for some people, but is largely made ludicrous by the overall attitudes and actions of the more visible participants. Somewhat like owning a pickup truck, wearing cargo shorts or being on reddit. I hope you and other vapers on MeFi didn't take any offense at the post, it certainly wasn't my intention to cause any.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:57 AM on September 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

is largely made ludicrous by the overall attitudes and actions of the more visible participants.

Or, perhaps, the marketing for the product.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:57 AM on September 23, 2016 [2 favorites]

No worries, Rock Steady; I'm not offended. :) Anyway, my version of brovaping is more like a cross between a cartoon mad professor and a Mad Men-style housewife, mixing up wacky vape cocktails. Today's effort has been Cotton Candy Creme de Menthe.
posted by taz at 7:51 AM on September 23, 2016 [2 favorites]

Re: MBMBAM, listen to their recent explanation of Kenny Rogers' The Gambler. I feel like your reaction to this will tell you all you need to know about whether you'll like them or not.

(Also... I first heard about e-cigarettes pretty early on in their development, before they were really available in America, and I thought it was legitimately one of the coolest things ever. Not in a 'people would look cool smoking these' way but in an electric-car-esque 'this is the FUTURE, how NEAT' way. To this day, I have much more charitable feelings toward e-cigs than many people seem to, and I don't totally understand why the idea of using them is so strongly correlated with 'douches who think they're cooler than they are'.)
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:44 AM on September 23, 2016 [1 favorite]

I was listening to that episode while running, and had to stop and wheeze and laugh and hope nobody asked what I was listening to, because how was I going to explain it was an analysis of The Gambler?
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:45 AM on September 23, 2016 [1 favorite]