Ducksters!
November 3, 2016 9:52 PM Subscribe
Here is our giant list of jokes, puns, and riddles for kids. Check out each joke category to find the type of joke, pun, or riddle you are looking for. Also: history, biographies, geography, science, and more.
It's been making the rounds at work and it's amazing how software developers seem to be at that level, joke-wise.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:14 PM on November 3, 2016
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:14 PM on November 3, 2016
This is great!
And of course if you're in the mood for BAD kids jokes, there's always this wonderful compendium (previously).
posted by little onion at 12:12 AM on November 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
And of course if you're in the mood for BAD kids jokes, there's always this wonderful compendium (previously).
posted by little onion at 12:12 AM on November 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Q: What is a computer virus?
A: A terminal illness!
posted by Obscure Reference at 4:00 AM on November 4, 2016
A: A terminal illness!
posted by Obscure Reference at 4:00 AM on November 4, 2016
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!
This slays with every kid I've ever told it to.
posted by Rock Steady at 4:56 AM on November 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
A: Because they have big fingers!
This slays with every kid I've ever told it to.
posted by Rock Steady at 4:56 AM on November 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
Q: How do you get down off an elephant?
A: You don't, you get down off a duck!
posted by chavenet at 5:11 AM on November 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
A: You don't, you get down off a duck!
posted by chavenet at 5:11 AM on November 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
Q: How do you get down off a duck?
A: You don't. You get UP off a duck!
posted by Floydd at 5:30 AM on November 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
A: You don't. You get UP off a duck!
posted by Floydd at 5:30 AM on November 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Q: How do you get Up off a duck?
A: Befriend it and ask to see its DVD collection.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:48 AM on November 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
A: Befriend it and ask to see its DVD collection.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:48 AM on November 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Oh boy.
I just started telling my granddaughter knock-knock jokes, but the only ones I could think of were the Boo (which she loves) and the banana/orange one, which is kind of lame.
posted by MtDewd at 6:44 PM on November 4, 2016
I just started telling my granddaughter knock-knock jokes, but the only ones I could think of were the Boo (which she loves) and the banana/orange one, which is kind of lame.
posted by MtDewd at 6:44 PM on November 4, 2016
The knock-knocks of the "Interrupting _____" variety are great. You've got to finish with "Interrupting Starfish" - just plant your hand on their face.
posted by transient at 4:16 AM on November 6, 2016
posted by transient at 4:16 AM on November 6, 2016
It's interesting to me that basically all the knock-knock jokes I remember hearing are subversions of the form. At base, knock-knocks are a pretty simple pun vehicle.
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Wanda
Wanda who?
Wanda hang out with me right now?
You open with a name, they ask for more info, then you expand that name into a punning phrase. But I only remember ones that do more than that. All of the ones that pun on the addition of "Who"—Boo who? / Don't cry it's just a joke; Who who? / What are you an owl?—seem like they have to exist as subversions on the established form; they're jokes on what you expect from a knock-knock joke. I expect a pun on "Boo," but in fact I've set up a pun on "Boo hoo."
In the Banana / Banana / Orange one, you deny their expectations for a banana pun—Banana who? / Knock knock—you do it again, now they're really getting frustrated (and they notice a pattern), and then you deliver the punchline "Orange you glad I didn't say banana," which not only breaks/explains the pattern, but also works via a standard expected knock-knock punchline.
And then the interrupting/impatient/control-freak ones allow you to more dramatically disrupt your listener's expectations by getting in their face and taking away the one thing they are in control of, their immutable response line.
And then, my favorite was always,
Hey, I know a great knock-knock joke, you start.
Okay. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Anyways, it's interesting to me that knock-knocks are still so ubiquitous for kids, but pretty much only the really meta ones. I can't remember telling any standard ones, though maybe I learned those first. The history of the joke seems to be that they were a popular parlor game in the '20s or so. So I guess after ninety years only the meta ones survived.
posted by little onion at 9:36 AM on November 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Wanda
Wanda who?
Wanda hang out with me right now?
You open with a name, they ask for more info, then you expand that name into a punning phrase. But I only remember ones that do more than that. All of the ones that pun on the addition of "Who"—Boo who? / Don't cry it's just a joke; Who who? / What are you an owl?—seem like they have to exist as subversions on the established form; they're jokes on what you expect from a knock-knock joke. I expect a pun on "Boo," but in fact I've set up a pun on "Boo hoo."
In the Banana / Banana / Orange one, you deny their expectations for a banana pun—Banana who? / Knock knock—you do it again, now they're really getting frustrated (and they notice a pattern), and then you deliver the punchline "Orange you glad I didn't say banana," which not only breaks/explains the pattern, but also works via a standard expected knock-knock punchline.
And then the interrupting/impatient/control-freak ones allow you to more dramatically disrupt your listener's expectations by getting in their face and taking away the one thing they are in control of, their immutable response line.
And then, my favorite was always,
Hey, I know a great knock-knock joke, you start.
Okay. Knock knock.
Who's there?
Anyways, it's interesting to me that knock-knocks are still so ubiquitous for kids, but pretty much only the really meta ones. I can't remember telling any standard ones, though maybe I learned those first. The history of the joke seems to be that they were a popular parlor game in the '20s or so. So I guess after ninety years only the meta ones survived.
posted by little onion at 9:36 AM on November 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Something else I failed to notice is that all the "Who" ones (at least on this Ducksters page), not only break form by incorporating "Who" into the pun, but also respond to the listener's "X Who?" line as if it's something they've said intending to convey meaning (Boo hoo / Don't cry, Woo hoo / Why are you so excited?, Hoo hoo / Is there an owl in there?), rather than just the usual form line. The listener expected to be a passive participant in the joke, but without realizing it, they have expressed something meaningful and now they're being teased for it.
It seems straightforward to say all these meta ones are more successful because they do more than the minimal requirement of a knock-knock joke, i.e. to provide a single pun in an expected place. But, interestingly, they're still all completely rooted in the mechanics and expectations of the knock-knock form. I don't remember ever hearing one rooted in a logical twist, "I haven't slept for ten days, who?" / "I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long," or one that uses absurdism/anti-humor, "Penguin, who?" / "No soap, radio!" I'm sure people made these, but they didn't travel. They're still setup / punchlines you can fit into the form, but they don't feel right. They don't use the expectations from the form very fully.
Widely-known meta knock-knock jokes seem to only use puns and/or the listener's response, which are, in fact, the only two features of the classic knock-knock form!
posted by little onion at 10:20 AM on November 7, 2016
It seems straightforward to say all these meta ones are more successful because they do more than the minimal requirement of a knock-knock joke, i.e. to provide a single pun in an expected place. But, interestingly, they're still all completely rooted in the mechanics and expectations of the knock-knock form. I don't remember ever hearing one rooted in a logical twist, "I haven't slept for ten days, who?" / "I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long," or one that uses absurdism/anti-humor, "Penguin, who?" / "No soap, radio!" I'm sure people made these, but they didn't travel. They're still setup / punchlines you can fit into the form, but they don't feel right. They don't use the expectations from the form very fully.
Widely-known meta knock-knock jokes seem to only use puns and/or the listener's response, which are, in fact, the only two features of the classic knock-knock form!
posted by little onion at 10:20 AM on November 7, 2016
Knock knock
posted by Rock Steady at 10:49 AM on November 7, 2016
posted by Rock Steady at 10:49 AM on November 7, 2016
Who's there?
posted by little onion at 6:44 PM on November 7, 2016
posted by little onion at 6:44 PM on November 7, 2016
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posted by escabeche at 10:10 PM on November 3, 2016 [4 favorites]