Please beware of overly friendly squirrel
November 14, 2016 9:34 AM Subscribe
In retrospect, the only reason I did not want a pet squirrel was that it simply hadn’t occurred to me to want one. On some level this isn’t surprising: It’s against the law to own a pet squirrel in many states, and as charming as they seem from afar, it is also technically true that they are rodents. How many people keep squirrels as pets? Who knows. It’s safe to say, though, the number is not very high, since most people would sooner settle for a more traditional pet than risk coming across as crazy. But looking at squirrels on Instagram awoke something in me.
Uh, yeah, there is no link between Mikel Delgado and Squirrel Girl, except in my own brain. But both are cool and squirrel related!
posted by latkes at 9:52 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by latkes at 9:52 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Are there Instagram photos of the arms of squirrel owners?
As a former rat owner I am curious.
posted by srboisvert at 10:07 AM on November 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
As a former rat owner I am curious.
posted by srboisvert at 10:07 AM on November 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
My wife and I have rescued three squirrels...I have a few videos with them on my YouTube page. This one here is the first that we made, showing how we learned to care for a baby that we found.
We've had a guy named Filbert now, for more than 7 years!! He's happy, gets loads of exercise, and has lived much longer than his "in the wild" counterparts...
You can't begin to imagine how cool it is having a squirrel sitting on your shoulder!
posted by newfers at 10:12 AM on November 14, 2016 [11 favorites]
We've had a guy named Filbert now, for more than 7 years!! He's happy, gets loads of exercise, and has lived much longer than his "in the wild" counterparts...
You can't begin to imagine how cool it is having a squirrel sitting on your shoulder!
posted by newfers at 10:12 AM on November 14, 2016 [11 favorites]
I have a long and difficult relationship with squirrels...
It all started by an experience we had when we were first married. We lived in a old ramshackle house with a large and overgrown garden with a number of trees left to grow out of control. This meant that we had A LOT of squirrels in the backyard. For the most part the squirrels and I had a mutual respect for one another as I got the garden back into an usable space. But that all changed when one day, I came home to discover that something non-human had eaten a plate of cookies and I heard a very loud creature in our walls. My first thought was that it was a rat but when I actually saw it jump onto my dinner table I realised that it was a black squirrel. I didn't know this at the time but the squirrel and its mate had fallen through the old coal shoot which had been poorly blocked. I found the remains of its mate sometime later when doing repairs on the furnance. In anycase, this black squirrel began to make a nest in our walls with socks and scarves. It ate through anything that was in a box or bag, making a huge mess. It also was extremely agressive with us, chirpping incessantly, damaging our home & posessions and standing its ground when we tried to chase it out of the house. Frustrated, I bought a live trap and within a nerve wracking day or two I was able to catch it. I released it down the road from us. My recent experience with them has been fairly negative as well: they've made growing anything edible in my backyard impossible by digging up just about everything I've planted or eating everything before I've harvested, destroying the lids of garbage cans & compost, destroying bird feeders, eating my Internet cable wires, destroying my outdoor furniture made of fabric, digging holes into the shed, shredding the bark off of some of our trees. Little has detered them from these behaviors.
So in short, I think squirrels would make terrible pets as they are frankly pretty terrible animals. However, I do support Squirrel Girl.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:12 AM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
It all started by an experience we had when we were first married. We lived in a old ramshackle house with a large and overgrown garden with a number of trees left to grow out of control. This meant that we had A LOT of squirrels in the backyard. For the most part the squirrels and I had a mutual respect for one another as I got the garden back into an usable space. But that all changed when one day, I came home to discover that something non-human had eaten a plate of cookies and I heard a very loud creature in our walls. My first thought was that it was a rat but when I actually saw it jump onto my dinner table I realised that it was a black squirrel. I didn't know this at the time but the squirrel and its mate had fallen through the old coal shoot which had been poorly blocked. I found the remains of its mate sometime later when doing repairs on the furnance. In anycase, this black squirrel began to make a nest in our walls with socks and scarves. It ate through anything that was in a box or bag, making a huge mess. It also was extremely agressive with us, chirpping incessantly, damaging our home & posessions and standing its ground when we tried to chase it out of the house. Frustrated, I bought a live trap and within a nerve wracking day or two I was able to catch it. I released it down the road from us. My recent experience with them has been fairly negative as well: they've made growing anything edible in my backyard impossible by digging up just about everything I've planted or eating everything before I've harvested, destroying the lids of garbage cans & compost, destroying bird feeders, eating my Internet cable wires, destroying my outdoor furniture made of fabric, digging holes into the shed, shredding the bark off of some of our trees. Little has detered them from these behaviors.
So in short, I think squirrels would make terrible pets as they are frankly pretty terrible animals. However, I do support Squirrel Girl.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:12 AM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
People to whom this appeals but are wary of the whole questionable ethics and safety thing should totally get rats! They basically look the same, and based on the squirrel descriptions in the article, are adorable and fun in extremely similar ways.
posted by zokni at 10:13 AM on November 14, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by zokni at 10:13 AM on November 14, 2016 [13 favorites]
We have some family friends who will leave food for squirrels on their front porch (as in they would bake specific cookies/cakes for them in addition to just leaving some peanuts out) and apparently the squirrels are now pretty friendly with them. I don't think they plan on taking it any farther than that.
At our place we've got a love-hate relationship with squirrels. They are definitely fun to watch as they jump from tree to tree or walk on the power lines but they and the raccoons are also big garden pests. In the fall the squirrels will try to dig up our bulbs and they also ate the sunflowers and corn we have grown in the past. We put a little birdhouse on the side of our shed and the squirrels made short work of it, first chasing the birds away, then eating all the seed and finally gnawing the house until it looked like something out of a horror movie. I always think about making some kind of squirrel feeder/obstacle course so that we could enjoy looking at them and give them a better target instead of our plants but I have terrible follow-through on this kind of thing so I know it wouldn't be happening any time soon.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:23 AM on November 14, 2016
At our place we've got a love-hate relationship with squirrels. They are definitely fun to watch as they jump from tree to tree or walk on the power lines but they and the raccoons are also big garden pests. In the fall the squirrels will try to dig up our bulbs and they also ate the sunflowers and corn we have grown in the past. We put a little birdhouse on the side of our shed and the squirrels made short work of it, first chasing the birds away, then eating all the seed and finally gnawing the house until it looked like something out of a horror movie. I always think about making some kind of squirrel feeder/obstacle course so that we could enjoy looking at them and give them a better target instead of our plants but I have terrible follow-through on this kind of thing so I know it wouldn't be happening any time soon.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 10:23 AM on November 14, 2016
I've been bitten once and scratched once. Both times were totally accidents and I no way blame either of the squirrels involved, even though the one who bit me could be a bit of an asshole when he wanted to be. So, no I don't believe that having squirrels in your life would necessarily lead to gashed up limbs. That said mine were outdoor/tamed squirrels and not live-in pets, although, the nice (non-asshole) once did come into the house a couple of times (when mom wasn't looking) and got into the car once (again just to see if we could get away with it).
And in case anybody wonders how the pediatrician reacts when you phone for an appointment after getting scratched by a squirrel, he laughs a bit and then makes you get a Tetanus shot. Then a few years later when you get bitten, he doesn't even bother to make an appointment as the Tetanus shot is still good.
posted by sardonyx at 10:25 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
And in case anybody wonders how the pediatrician reacts when you phone for an appointment after getting scratched by a squirrel, he laughs a bit and then makes you get a Tetanus shot. Then a few years later when you get bitten, he doesn't even bother to make an appointment as the Tetanus shot is still good.
posted by sardonyx at 10:25 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
I should add that none of the above incidents occurred while the squirrel was sitting on my shoulders/lap/knees/arms/etc. or while they were being petted. Both were feeding mishaps where I wasn't careful enough with where I was placing my fingers.
posted by sardonyx at 10:28 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by sardonyx at 10:28 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
So in short, I think squirrels would make terrible pets as they are frankly pretty terrible animals.
They're also destructive when left to their own devices. I spent the early years of my life dutifully following my redneck father around with his .22, as he'd very dramatically declared war on the local red/black squirrel population after the third time he'd had to go crawling into eaves filled with nesting squirrels. Later in my life, I had once again started to muster some sympathy for the great bushy-tailed rats, until the electrician working in our attic gave us the bill for the wiring they had chewed through, after somehow getting into the building through a 3/4-inch wide hole. Now they are firmly entrenched in the same category as geese and hornets: ghastly creatures that deserve whatever horrors nature might visit upon them.
posted by Mayor West at 10:32 AM on November 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
They're also destructive when left to their own devices. I spent the early years of my life dutifully following my redneck father around with his .22, as he'd very dramatically declared war on the local red/black squirrel population after the third time he'd had to go crawling into eaves filled with nesting squirrels. Later in my life, I had once again started to muster some sympathy for the great bushy-tailed rats, until the electrician working in our attic gave us the bill for the wiring they had chewed through, after somehow getting into the building through a 3/4-inch wide hole. Now they are firmly entrenched in the same category as geese and hornets: ghastly creatures that deserve whatever horrors nature might visit upon them.
posted by Mayor West at 10:32 AM on November 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
We call them tree rats.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:38 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:38 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Actually in terms of pets, outdoor ones are pretty great. They're self-sufficient. You don't have to feed them or walk them or clean up after them. You can go away on vacation and not worry about them. Then when you're home and you feel like something fuzzy and furry to play with you can usually get them to come around. They have an assortment of personalities (see above) and can be really entertaining.
That said, they dig holes in the grass, eat flowers and bulbs, can fall into the chimney (removal involves screaming, crying children, a fishing net, and Lysol), and, as mentioned above they can damage housing and automobiles.
So like most other things, they have their good points and bad points. And some are easier to live with than others, just like people.
posted by sardonyx at 10:40 AM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
That said, they dig holes in the grass, eat flowers and bulbs, can fall into the chimney (removal involves screaming, crying children, a fishing net, and Lysol), and, as mentioned above they can damage housing and automobiles.
So like most other things, they have their good points and bad points. And some are easier to live with than others, just like people.
posted by sardonyx at 10:40 AM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
You can't begin to imagine how cool it is having a squirrel sitting on your shoulder!
About as cool as having a big rat sitting on your shoulder, which I've done when I had a pet rat. Pretty darn cool.
posted by blucevalo at 10:43 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
About as cool as having a big rat sitting on your shoulder, which I've done when I had a pet rat. Pretty darn cool.
posted by blucevalo at 10:43 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
The problem with the rat comparison is that rats don't have the the little itty bitty fluffy ear tufts. And I think rats are pretty cute.
posted by quaking fajita at 10:44 AM on November 14, 2016
posted by quaking fajita at 10:44 AM on November 14, 2016
Rats also seem to be much smarter.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:45 AM on November 14, 2016
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:45 AM on November 14, 2016
Still a sucker for the scansorial euarchontoglires, eh, ChuraChura?
posted by biogeo at 10:52 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by biogeo at 10:52 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Ashwagandha: Rats also seem to be much smarter.
I might have agreed with you before last week, when I was dishing out a Cheerio each to our five as a treat, and Inspector Javert stuck his top and bottom gnashers neatly through the hole, then just sat there looking up at me with a dopey ratty grin, Cheerio hanging off his teeth like a doughnut on a stick, unable to calculate how exactly he was meant to consume this delicious-smelling yet logistically baffling item.
posted by Morfil Ffyrnig at 10:53 AM on November 14, 2016 [29 favorites]
I might have agreed with you before last week, when I was dishing out a Cheerio each to our five as a treat, and Inspector Javert stuck his top and bottom gnashers neatly through the hole, then just sat there looking up at me with a dopey ratty grin, Cheerio hanging off his teeth like a doughnut on a stick, unable to calculate how exactly he was meant to consume this delicious-smelling yet logistically baffling item.
posted by Morfil Ffyrnig at 10:53 AM on November 14, 2016 [29 favorites]
If you're wondering what to feed your rescued squirrel, beet pulp pellets make a convenient and tasty treat.
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:57 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:57 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
> I remember once hearing the phrase “rats with tails”
rats... have tails
"Pigeons with tails", maybe?
And more precisely, pigeons with flouffy tails vs pigeons with naked, rat-like tails?
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:02 AM on November 14, 2016
rats... have tails
"Pigeons with tails", maybe?
And more precisely, pigeons with flouffy tails vs pigeons with naked, rat-like tails?
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:02 AM on November 14, 2016
I was pro-squirrel ever since my childhood, when Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Secret Squirrel totally outclassed Alvin and the Chipmunks on Saturday Mornings. In the suburban home I grew up in, we had two trees a safe distance from the house and the squirrels knew where they belonged. Now, Squirrel Girl has rebuilt a lot of my lost faith in superheroes, and Ryan North and Erica Henderson have led the way for other cool webcomickers, including Kate Leth and Christopher Hastings, to contribute to Marvel. Currently I live in a place where we have more to worry about from raccoons (and don't talk to me about Rocket Raccoon).
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:05 AM on November 14, 2016
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:05 AM on November 14, 2016
I'm euarchontogliracist, it's true.
posted by ChuraChura at 11:09 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by ChuraChura at 11:09 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Squirrels are great pets as long as you keep them outside. All you need to do is provide nuts. They can easily be trained to eat out of your hand and as long as they are outside there is no mess to clean up.
As for people comparing them to rats - wild rats run from people. Squirrels just keep their distance until they are comfortable with you. This makes me think the rats have something to hide.
posted by bh at 11:24 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
As for people comparing them to rats - wild rats run from people. Squirrels just keep their distance until they are comfortable with you. This makes me think the rats have something to hide.
posted by bh at 11:24 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
The saying is properly "Squirrels are just rats with bushy tails." - also acceptable is "fluffy tails."
posted by nobeagle at 11:30 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by nobeagle at 11:30 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Wild squirrels may have ticks and fleas and many sort of other parasite. It may not be a good idea to bring them indoors unless they have been properly "disinfected."
posted by dov3 at 11:32 AM on November 14, 2016
posted by dov3 at 11:32 AM on November 14, 2016
My Dad had a pet squirrel in the 1950s. There are a few pictures still in my relatives' photo albums, of him and his pet squirrel hanging around, just being a boy and his squirrel. The squirrel was trained to eat stuff out of his pocket and apparently he even brought the squirrel to school and kept him in his coat.
My Dad also had a pet skunk. Mind you, this was in north suburban Boston, not somewhere there's a ton of wildlife running around. I guess he just never felt like having a cat or a dog.
posted by xingcat at 11:33 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
My Dad also had a pet skunk. Mind you, this was in north suburban Boston, not somewhere there's a ton of wildlife running around. I guess he just never felt like having a cat or a dog.
posted by xingcat at 11:33 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
People to whom this appeals but are wary of the whole questionable ethics and safety thing should totally get rats!
Rats are cool! Especially because they enjoy a good tickle.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:41 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Rats are cool! Especially because they enjoy a good tickle.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:41 AM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
I think it's funny that one of the arguments people have against keeping squirrels is "but, they're rodents". Sure, just like pet mice, pet rats, gerbils, hamsters, chinchillas, guinea pigs, etc. Rodents are one of the easiest groups to tame, if anything.
posted by Mitrovarr at 11:43 AM on November 14, 2016
posted by Mitrovarr at 11:43 AM on November 14, 2016
Tree rats.
posted by fimbulvetr at 11:51 AM on November 14, 2016
posted by fimbulvetr at 11:51 AM on November 14, 2016
Squirrel obstacle courses look pretty fun.
posted by amtho at 11:54 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by amtho at 11:54 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I grew up in the country with a step-father who was a bleeding heart for injured animals - which is weird to some, since we were also hunters. We had squirrels, raccoons, birds, you name it - There was always some sort of weird critter in our house. We always let them go eventually, as soon as they were recovered. Some of them would hang around for a while, and we would occasionally have a raccoon or squirrel walk up to us in the backyard and look at us like "hey, can I come back in the house? It's terrible out here."
posted by bradth27 at 12:02 PM on November 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by bradth27 at 12:02 PM on November 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
Then a few years later when you get bitten, he doesn't even bother to make an appointment as the Tetanus shot is still good.
No rabies shot though? (I don't know whether squirrels are known to carry rabies)
posted by atoxyl at 12:09 PM on November 14, 2016
No rabies shot though? (I don't know whether squirrels are known to carry rabies)
posted by atoxyl at 12:09 PM on November 14, 2016
Update: squirrel researcher from the post says it is rare for squirrels to have rabies!
posted by atoxyl at 12:11 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by atoxyl at 12:11 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am pleased but not surprised that MeFi has Squirrel Girl fans!
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:20 PM on November 14, 2016
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:20 PM on November 14, 2016
I think one of the most interesting things about squirrels is their longevity and how they do it.
Squirrels can live well into a 3rd decade and their cells express lots of telomerase, which is generally blamed for the fact that pet mice often die of cancer after a few years, despite a protected existence -- and a lack of cancer-essential telomerase in almost all somatic cells of humans is often cited as a necessary precondition for our longevity, but it imposes a terrible penalty of aging and decline on all our organs and tissues.
If we really want to live for a long time, and yet maintain vitality and attractiveness over the entire span, squirrels might have something very important to tell us.
posted by jamjam at 12:27 PM on November 14, 2016 [11 favorites]
Squirrels can live well into a 3rd decade and their cells express lots of telomerase, which is generally blamed for the fact that pet mice often die of cancer after a few years, despite a protected existence -- and a lack of cancer-essential telomerase in almost all somatic cells of humans is often cited as a necessary precondition for our longevity, but it imposes a terrible penalty of aging and decline on all our organs and tissues.
If we really want to live for a long time, and yet maintain vitality and attractiveness over the entire span, squirrels might have something very important to tell us.
posted by jamjam at 12:27 PM on November 14, 2016 [11 favorites]
Squirrels are one of the few mammals that I routinely observe acquiring loads of gray hair. If I wanted to be a Fred Astaire dancing grampa I would pay close attention to squirrels.
posted by bukvich at 12:31 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by bukvich at 12:31 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
When I was in college I worked for a delivery service that catered to the entertainment industry here in Los Angeles. One day I found myself on the Disney lot in Burbank. Being on the lot was pretty much just like being at Disneyland, except without the rides, or maybe a little like being in a Disney cartoon. The Disney campus is a walking campus; tree-lined sidewalks and cars restricted to the outer boundaries of the lot. It was sunny and the birds were chirping happily. Everyone walking across the campus was happy, smiling, and greeting each other in a super friendly way.
As I made my way along the sidewalk I noticed a man approaching me from the opposite direction. He was likely part of the campus maintenance crew. He was dressed in white dickies, a white button-down work shirt, a white cap, and he had a small leather pouch attached to his belt loop. The man walked with purpose, not too fast but certainly not slow.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed some movement. Before I could really register what I was seeing, a squirrel had scampered down from a nearby tree, ran across the grass and up to the man, scampered up his pant leg, poked his head into the leather pouch to retrieve a nut, and then returned to his tree. All the while the man never broke his stride.
Disney magic extends to squirrels too.
posted by vignettist at 12:36 PM on November 14, 2016 [17 favorites]
As I made my way along the sidewalk I noticed a man approaching me from the opposite direction. He was likely part of the campus maintenance crew. He was dressed in white dickies, a white button-down work shirt, a white cap, and he had a small leather pouch attached to his belt loop. The man walked with purpose, not too fast but certainly not slow.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed some movement. Before I could really register what I was seeing, a squirrel had scampered down from a nearby tree, ran across the grass and up to the man, scampered up his pant leg, poked his head into the leather pouch to retrieve a nut, and then returned to his tree. All the while the man never broke his stride.
Disney magic extends to squirrels too.
posted by vignettist at 12:36 PM on November 14, 2016 [17 favorites]
If we really want to live for a long time, and yet maintain vitality and attractiveness over the entire span, squirrels might have something very important to tell us.
Yes: "Get really good at parkour, watch out for cars."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:36 PM on November 14, 2016 [14 favorites]
Yes: "Get really good at parkour, watch out for cars."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:36 PM on November 14, 2016 [14 favorites]
Squirrels main risk (at least in Eastern Ontario) is Lyme's Disease and tularemia, through infected ticks. Their poop is bad too for the usual reasons (salmonella and leptospirosis). Rabies is theoretically possible, but quite rare. They're roundworm carriers too (they likely get it from raccoons), which can be nasty.
posted by bonehead at 12:38 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by bonehead at 12:38 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Believe me, as a young kid I was worried about the doctor wanting to test the squirrel for rabies, because even at that age I knew animals didn't survive the rabies test.
The doctor asked questions about the squirrel's behaviour and questioned what I was doing and how I approached it. I explained the situation to him and described how the squirrel reacted. He seemed to take the approach that since it wasn't acting strangely or wasn't exhibiting any weird symptoms rabies was likely a very, very long shot. Boy was I happy to hear he wasn't worried about rabies, and that we weren't going to have to catch the squirrel and submit it for testing.
Keep in mind this was decades ago. Attitudes and panic levels may be slightly different at this point in time.
posted by sardonyx at 12:47 PM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
The doctor asked questions about the squirrel's behaviour and questioned what I was doing and how I approached it. I explained the situation to him and described how the squirrel reacted. He seemed to take the approach that since it wasn't acting strangely or wasn't exhibiting any weird symptoms rabies was likely a very, very long shot. Boy was I happy to hear he wasn't worried about rabies, and that we weren't going to have to catch the squirrel and submit it for testing.
Keep in mind this was decades ago. Attitudes and panic levels may be slightly different at this point in time.
posted by sardonyx at 12:47 PM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
My mother feeds all the squirrels in her neighborhood, and one of them has gotten so familiar that he comes right inside the house on his own to get his own damn nuts from the kitchen when she doesn't get them out in the yard on his timetable.
posted by briank at 1:19 PM on November 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by briank at 1:19 PM on November 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
If I feed my local squirrels will they stop ruining unripe avocados by knocking them out of the tree and taking a single bite?
posted by flaterik at 2:02 PM on November 14, 2016
posted by flaterik at 2:02 PM on November 14, 2016
I'm reminded of a guy I know who lives out on a farm in the middle of the woods. He has several squirrels and racoons that come when called by name. It was pretty hilarious the first time he did it. I knew him for some years in town and thought he was just pulling my leg, but the first time I went out there to the farm he called one of the coons' names and within a couple of seconds it poked its head up out of a hole in the roof of the old barn, looked around, saw him, and came running up and jumped on his shoulder.
I don't know why it was that surprising (or funny), as I've known people to keep/be friendly with all kinds of "wild" animals (skunks, pigs, horses, various types of birds, etc), but racoon and squirrel just hit my funny bone in an unusual way, I guess.
posted by wierdo at 2:19 PM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't know why it was that surprising (or funny), as I've known people to keep/be friendly with all kinds of "wild" animals (skunks, pigs, horses, various types of birds, etc), but racoon and squirrel just hit my funny bone in an unusual way, I guess.
posted by wierdo at 2:19 PM on November 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
If I feed my local squirrels will they stop ruining unripe avocados by knocking them out of the tree and taking a single bite?
posted by flaterik at 2:02 PM on November 14
Nope. Sorry. But the answer is absolutely not.
posted by sardonyx at 2:24 PM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by flaterik at 2:02 PM on November 14
Nope. Sorry. But the answer is absolutely not.
posted by sardonyx at 2:24 PM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
They can definitely learn their own names. They can learn human names ("Go see Mike" type of commands). "Sit," "stand," come here," can also register as can "give me a paw." They can learn "no," "no more" and "all gone" but they don't necessarily like those words. And there is no guarantee they will actually listen (especially if they're being assholes).
posted by sardonyx at 2:28 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by sardonyx at 2:28 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Rescued squirrels are remarkably friendly. We had one that a cat brought in, and it loved to scale me and hide in my hair and was a total junky for poundcake (only as a treat! I promise! Healthy balanced squirrel-food otherwise!). However, we felt we had to be responsible, so we transitioned it back to the wild when it reached adulthood, where it seemed to do well, we definitely saw it (had a distinct shortened tail) for some years afterwards.
posted by tavella at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by tavella at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
My mother used to feed the squirrels in her yard: she'd line up peanuts or something along the deck rail for them. I was over there once when apparently one of her 'regulars' was a little miffed that everything had been eaten: he decided to emphasize his irritation by flinging empty peanut shells at the window to get her attention for a refill.
Mom said that was that squirrel's normal routine; she added that if he'd been really annoyed, he'd bang his little fists on the window glass and yell at her.
posted by easily confused at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
Mom said that was that squirrel's normal routine; she added that if he'd been really annoyed, he'd bang his little fists on the window glass and yell at her.
posted by easily confused at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
it is also technically true that they are rodents
It is also technically true that cats are felines. It is also technically true that horses are equines. It is also technically true that dogs are canines.
It is true though, that squirrels are smart little animals. One of my neighbors started spraying them with the hose - the squirrels started chucking acorns into her coffee when she came out on the deck in the morning. Another neighbor had them tear open the screen on the window to get cat food, which only goes to show what respect they have for cats. (OTOH, I have seen a tree full of squirrels have a moment of silence for a compatriot felled by a cat.)
But yeah, I imagine it would take a number of generations for them to be domesticable. Cute-ish, though, when they're not trying to raid the place.
posted by mrgoat at 2:56 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
It is also technically true that cats are felines. It is also technically true that horses are equines. It is also technically true that dogs are canines.
It is true though, that squirrels are smart little animals. One of my neighbors started spraying them with the hose - the squirrels started chucking acorns into her coffee when she came out on the deck in the morning. Another neighbor had them tear open the screen on the window to get cat food, which only goes to show what respect they have for cats. (OTOH, I have seen a tree full of squirrels have a moment of silence for a compatriot felled by a cat.)
But yeah, I imagine it would take a number of generations for them to be domesticable. Cute-ish, though, when they're not trying to raid the place.
posted by mrgoat at 2:56 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh man, I've had squirrel envy since seeing a guy down along the river bike path riding with a squirrel on his left shoulder like a rodent masthead. On a /bike/. I can't even get my /dog/ into the bike trailer.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 3:00 PM on November 14, 2016
posted by Ogre Lawless at 3:00 PM on November 14, 2016
Strangely, today I had my second graders write about what pet they would want, and at least two of them wrote that they want squirrels... which is illegal here and I don't think they've ever known anyone with a pet squirrel.
One of them drew a picture which made me realize that a squirrel would actually be a terrible pet because OH GOOD LORD THEY'RE COVERED IN GIANT PARASITES.... or nuts, maybe.
posted by Huck500 at 3:54 PM on November 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
One of them drew a picture which made me realize that a squirrel would actually be a terrible pet because OH GOOD LORD THEY'RE COVERED IN GIANT PARASITES.... or nuts, maybe.
posted by Huck500 at 3:54 PM on November 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
This seems like a good time to enjoy Germans trying to pronounce "squirrel."
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:30 PM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:30 PM on November 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Did pet squirrels use to be a thing? I always wondered why motors are called squirrel-cage motors rather than something like hamster-wheel motors.
posted by Naib at 4:30 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Naib at 4:30 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
They actually were super popular pets in the 19th century!
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:35 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:35 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Last year my wife asked me to remove a red squirrel from a young peach tree she was cultivating. I put on some heavy work gloves and caught the critter. It didn't struggle much, or try to bite. I covered its face while my wife went to work doing away with all the ticks crowding its ears. Once that was done I let the animal go up a cedar tree. It was happy to go.
Other than an initial small (and understandable) struggle, the little guy remained pretty mellow. An interesting interaction for us. Much of the time I wasn't restraining the animal at all, though I stroked it to try and help it remain calm. It worked.
posted by metagnathous at 4:39 PM on November 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
Other than an initial small (and understandable) struggle, the little guy remained pretty mellow. An interesting interaction for us. Much of the time I wasn't restraining the animal at all, though I stroked it to try and help it remain calm. It worked.
posted by metagnathous at 4:39 PM on November 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
Posted too soon - anyway I found this article about colonial squirrel pets a while back when a friend managed to semi tame some flying squirrels who moved into her guest house. I can't stand squirrels myself - a little phobic about all rodents, even ones who don't destroy my tomatoes every damn year - but even I have to say the flying squirrels were beyond adorable. I don't know if they're actually all that closely related to regular squirrels though.
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:41 PM on November 14, 2016
posted by mygothlaundry at 4:41 PM on November 14, 2016
Bernie Goetz fighting the possible eviction of his pet squirrel.
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:31 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by StickyCarpet at 6:31 PM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Squirrel attacks people at Florida senior center, hurts 3
ah, and on another interwebs note, I'll just leave this
posted by sammyo at 7:49 PM on November 14, 2016
ah, and on another interwebs note, I'll just leave this
posted by sammyo at 7:49 PM on November 14, 2016
Novato (CA) Couple Recount Terrifying Squirrel Attack
...The last thing Richard Williams expected when he started doing chores in the garage of his Novato home the day after Thanksgiving was that he would soon be in a life-and-death battle with a crazed squirrel. The 87-year-old Williams said the squirrel that has been terrorizing the neighborhood slipped into the garage through an open door.
posted by Graygorey at 8:01 PM on November 14, 2016
...The last thing Richard Williams expected when he started doing chores in the garage of his Novato home the day after Thanksgiving was that he would soon be in a life-and-death battle with a crazed squirrel. The 87-year-old Williams said the squirrel that has been terrorizing the neighborhood slipped into the garage through an open door.
posted by Graygorey at 8:01 PM on November 14, 2016
Disneyfication of Wildlife. Some people just wanna grab any cute critter that they can git their hands on and try to turn it into a pet, just like in the movies. Fun until it gets older and has to be dealt with. A learning experience.
posted by ovvl at 8:32 PM on November 14, 2016
posted by ovvl at 8:32 PM on November 14, 2016
A few years ago, my mom had a pet squirrel. Spoiler: Squirrels are terrible pets.
My brother Nathan and our cousin were out in the woods deer hunting, and as they walked back to the truck in the afternoon, a little squirrel followed them. Nathan tried to scare him off, but he wouldn't go. Nathan figured a squirrel that stupid couldn't be left alone in the woods, so he scooped him up in the truck and brought him to my mom.
This was the woman who, when I was four and desperately wanted to pet a squirrel, told me that if you touched a one, you'd get rabies and they had to give you shots right into your tummy with a needle a foot long. The squirrel's fuzzy innocence consumed her.
Mom Googled squirrel rescues and got in touch with people to tell her how to take care of him. He lived 50% of the time in a big parrot cage and 50% of the time roaming her apartment. At the time, Mom also had an elderly flatulent rescue Boston Terrier and three cats, two of whom were rescues too. You might be sensing a theme. I found out about the squirrel when my other brother called to tell me, "Well, it's happened. Mom's got a redneck petting zoo."
And God, my mom loved that squirrel. By all reports, he was adorable as a baby, tiny and cuddly and playful. The cats and the Boston hated the squirrel. As he got older, he basically ruled the place, gnawing the carpet, hiding nuts in your shoes, scratching the banister up, and terrorizing the other pets, till one of the cats caught his tail and bit it off. My mom kept the tail; she really loved that squirrel.
By the time I met the squirrel, the adorable baby phase was over. He'd gone through squirrel puberty and had huge squirrel balls, the view of which was unobstructed due to his lack of tail. I visited over Christmas and expected the cuddly baby; what I got was a hyperactive wild animal. He'd dive bomb you out of nowhere and climb you like a tree. He had viciously sharp squirrel talons and was weirdly dense and heavy, a little cannonball of furry undomesticated madness. Mom was covered in scratches from where the squirrel climbed her; they'd been barely more than tickles when he was a baby, but again: talons. Within 12 hours, I was scratched up, too. I used to imagine being climbed by a squirrel would be delightful, like a cartoon in real life. I was wrong.
But then he'd get sleepy and curl up in the crook of Mom's neck, and even I had to admit, he was really cute. Sometimes he'd gaze out the window in a wistful way. I imagined he (and his disproportionate balls) were yearning for a girl squirrel.
Early one morning, a day or two into my visit, I woke up with in panic early when I felt something heavy land on my chest. When I opened my eyes, there he was, perched on my chest after leaping off the headboard. I stared at the squirrel. The squirrel stared at me with his glassy black eyes. His talons where near my unprotected face. I knew if I startled him, he'd scramble and I'd probably lose an eye.
I inched my hand under the blankets to squeeze my husbands arm. I hissed at him till he woke up. "Stephen. Help. Squirrel. SQUIRREL. HELPHELPHELP" I ducked my head under the covers while Stephen rousted the squirrel out into the hall. After that, I begged Mom to keep the squirrel in the cage when I was there.
A few months later in the spring, the squirrel escaped outside through a briefly opened door. He ran up into the trees, and though Mom looked and looked for him, she never saw him again. All she had left was his bit-off tail and peanuts hidden in the toes of her shoes. That damn squirrel broke her heart, but you could tell, he was never really domesticated to begin with.
One of my brothers saw a squirrel with no tail frolicking in the neighborhood a while later. We like to imagine he found a nice girl squirrel worthy of his attentions.
Me, I'll stick with my cats.
posted by mostlymartha at 12:23 AM on November 15, 2016 [9 favorites]
My brother Nathan and our cousin were out in the woods deer hunting, and as they walked back to the truck in the afternoon, a little squirrel followed them. Nathan tried to scare him off, but he wouldn't go. Nathan figured a squirrel that stupid couldn't be left alone in the woods, so he scooped him up in the truck and brought him to my mom.
This was the woman who, when I was four and desperately wanted to pet a squirrel, told me that if you touched a one, you'd get rabies and they had to give you shots right into your tummy with a needle a foot long. The squirrel's fuzzy innocence consumed her.
Mom Googled squirrel rescues and got in touch with people to tell her how to take care of him. He lived 50% of the time in a big parrot cage and 50% of the time roaming her apartment. At the time, Mom also had an elderly flatulent rescue Boston Terrier and three cats, two of whom were rescues too. You might be sensing a theme. I found out about the squirrel when my other brother called to tell me, "Well, it's happened. Mom's got a redneck petting zoo."
And God, my mom loved that squirrel. By all reports, he was adorable as a baby, tiny and cuddly and playful. The cats and the Boston hated the squirrel. As he got older, he basically ruled the place, gnawing the carpet, hiding nuts in your shoes, scratching the banister up, and terrorizing the other pets, till one of the cats caught his tail and bit it off. My mom kept the tail; she really loved that squirrel.
By the time I met the squirrel, the adorable baby phase was over. He'd gone through squirrel puberty and had huge squirrel balls, the view of which was unobstructed due to his lack of tail. I visited over Christmas and expected the cuddly baby; what I got was a hyperactive wild animal. He'd dive bomb you out of nowhere and climb you like a tree. He had viciously sharp squirrel talons and was weirdly dense and heavy, a little cannonball of furry undomesticated madness. Mom was covered in scratches from where the squirrel climbed her; they'd been barely more than tickles when he was a baby, but again: talons. Within 12 hours, I was scratched up, too. I used to imagine being climbed by a squirrel would be delightful, like a cartoon in real life. I was wrong.
But then he'd get sleepy and curl up in the crook of Mom's neck, and even I had to admit, he was really cute. Sometimes he'd gaze out the window in a wistful way. I imagined he (and his disproportionate balls) were yearning for a girl squirrel.
Early one morning, a day or two into my visit, I woke up with in panic early when I felt something heavy land on my chest. When I opened my eyes, there he was, perched on my chest after leaping off the headboard. I stared at the squirrel. The squirrel stared at me with his glassy black eyes. His talons where near my unprotected face. I knew if I startled him, he'd scramble and I'd probably lose an eye.
I inched my hand under the blankets to squeeze my husbands arm. I hissed at him till he woke up. "Stephen. Help. Squirrel. SQUIRREL. HELPHELPHELP" I ducked my head under the covers while Stephen rousted the squirrel out into the hall. After that, I begged Mom to keep the squirrel in the cage when I was there.
A few months later in the spring, the squirrel escaped outside through a briefly opened door. He ran up into the trees, and though Mom looked and looked for him, she never saw him again. All she had left was his bit-off tail and peanuts hidden in the toes of her shoes. That damn squirrel broke her heart, but you could tell, he was never really domesticated to begin with.
One of my brothers saw a squirrel with no tail frolicking in the neighborhood a while later. We like to imagine he found a nice girl squirrel worthy of his attentions.
Me, I'll stick with my cats.
posted by mostlymartha at 12:23 AM on November 15, 2016 [9 favorites]
I am most fortunate to have a pet deer. Found him abandoned in the woods (watched him for long while, mother did not return) next to my house, in May. Today, he roams free and comes by for handouts and company. He is very affectionate and makes me feel he really likes being with me. But, he did not show up at all, yesterday, and the roads here are literally littered with dead deer.
posted by Goofyy at 4:53 AM on November 15, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Goofyy at 4:53 AM on November 15, 2016 [3 favorites]
I don't think it is legal to keep native wildlife as pets here, but the one pet squirrel I met was adorable and friendly, so I can see the attraction.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:14 AM on November 15, 2016
posted by Dip Flash at 7:14 AM on November 15, 2016
Re: rats, a while ago one of my neuro friends pointed out to me that rats are also one of the few animals that you can reward by socializing with them. As in, you can behaviorally train them to do something where the "treat" is that you give them attention and interact with them!
posted by en forme de poire at 1:40 AM on November 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by en forme de poire at 1:40 AM on November 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Squirrels are cute as the dickens tho', I get it. (And chipmunks! Inhale thru the side body little guy/gal)
posted by en forme de poire at 1:43 AM on November 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by en forme de poire at 1:43 AM on November 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Squirrels are undomesticated wild animals. It's a bad idea.
posted by Area Control at 1:12 PM on November 17, 2016
posted by Area Control at 1:12 PM on November 17, 2016
Social reward? My deer gives me that. LOL. If there are 3 of us out with him, he gets much more actively jubilant, and dances about and occasionally races through the woods while I watch, jaw dropped open, beholding inspiration for ballet, as he elegantly flies over logs. HE clearly feels right when there are 3 others, instead of only 1 or 2. That behavior was shown even when he was still small and being kept penned.
But he's a heard beast. It is less "reward" to be in a group than more being allowed what is expected. He's lonely much of the time, we're sure. But it is less than clear how much social life he has with his own kind. They don't visibly shun him, he's had visitors in the yard often.
posted by Goofyy at 1:45 PM on November 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
But he's a heard beast. It is less "reward" to be in a group than more being allowed what is expected. He's lonely much of the time, we're sure. But it is less than clear how much social life he has with his own kind. They don't visibly shun him, he's had visitors in the yard often.
posted by Goofyy at 1:45 PM on November 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
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Around our house, we say "Kicks butts, eats nuts" quite frequently.
posted by latkes at 9:51 AM on November 14, 2016 [1 favorite]