Heart-Shaped Red Pill
November 30, 2016 8:32 AM Subscribe
The couple never forgot how lucky they were, or as Fidden put it, “how difficult it must be for someone who is single and who also has this understanding and awareness and these truths.” Where would such a person find love, especially given that they are even more ostracized from society than Aine and him? Then it hit him: “Wow, what a fantastic business idea! Let’s go and do it! So that’s what we did.”
Longreads investigates the loves lives of Truthers, with a little help from Rob Brotherton, conspiracy theorist theorist. Another take from Vice is a little less sympathetic.
12 million Americans believe in conspiracy theories. Some were galvanized by 9/11, while others may have arrived at the conspiracy life through MMA or Instagram. Even TV shows portray the difficult interpersonal issues that arise between the Awoken and the Sheeple. While conspiracy theories spread online, authors attempt to unravel why we believe, and quantify the "conspiracy mentality."
12 million Americans believe in conspiracy theories. Some were galvanized by 9/11, while others may have arrived at the conspiracy life through MMA or Instagram. Even TV shows portray the difficult interpersonal issues that arise between the Awoken and the Sheeple. While conspiracy theories spread online, authors attempt to unravel why we believe, and quantify the "conspiracy mentality."
The caption on the lead photo in the MMA link is a masterpiece of editorial dry understatement.
posted by figurant at 8:55 AM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by figurant at 8:55 AM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Possibly also a generation of Saffrons who are accustomed to cleaning up after their parents' nonsense and don't want any of their own.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:56 AM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 8:56 AM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
Countess Elena: thank you for inspiring me to imagine Patsy and Edina discussing whether the planes that crashed into the WTC were actually holograms. It was a pleasant distraction from reality.
posted by prosopagnosia at 9:08 AM on November 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by prosopagnosia at 9:08 AM on November 30, 2016 [9 favorites]
He wore an Orgonite necklace—thought to block the electromagnetic frequencies that emanate from our screens... He talks fast, and his sentences are endless. He pauses only to light another cigarette."
My people!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:09 AM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
My people!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:09 AM on November 30, 2016 [5 favorites]
12 million Americans believe in conspiracy theories.
If I'm reading it right, that's just the lizard people one right, not "conspiracy theories" in general? Actual number probably much much higher.
posted by ODiV at 9:30 AM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
If I'm reading it right, that's just the lizard people one right, not "conspiracy theories" in general? Actual number probably much much higher.
posted by ODiV at 9:30 AM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Can't have an effective democracy with an ill educated electorate.
posted by notreally at 9:46 AM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by notreally at 9:46 AM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
I think that one of the challenges here is that powerful people actually do conspire and cover things up, and that those things have a profound effect on modernity?
Volkswagen's diesel engine coverup happened. The Iran-Contra affair happened. The Phoebus Cartel happened. This is not a short list at all, and believing that the world around you is very often shaped by the actions of groups of powerful collaborators who don't have your best interests in mind is not a false position, much less an unreasonable one.
posted by mhoye at 9:47 AM on November 30, 2016 [16 favorites]
Volkswagen's diesel engine coverup happened. The Iran-Contra affair happened. The Phoebus Cartel happened. This is not a short list at all, and believing that the world around you is very often shaped by the actions of groups of powerful collaborators who don't have your best interests in mind is not a false position, much less an unreasonable one.
posted by mhoye at 9:47 AM on November 30, 2016 [16 favorites]
Clearly they have gotten to the IT folks at work; all of the Vice links are blocked! I liked the illustration at the top of the Longreads story, and found this pretty strange: Her statement ends, “Oh and this is important!! I don’t want a golden shower!” Why would someone feel the need to have that in their personal ad, at least one that wasn't aimed at the fetish community?
posted by TedW at 9:49 AM on November 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by TedW at 9:49 AM on November 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
Sooo... this will create a nationwide database of conspiracy theorists?
I don't need to complete this chain of thought, do I.
posted by Devonian at 9:57 AM on November 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
I don't need to complete this chain of thought, do I.
posted by Devonian at 9:57 AM on November 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
Sooo... this will create a nationwide database of conspiracy theorists?
How could anyone sign up for this without thinking it's a conspiracy? I guess I'm assuming a cognitive practice not in evidence?
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:04 AM on November 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
How could anyone sign up for this without thinking it's a conspiracy? I guess I'm assuming a cognitive practice not in evidence?
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:04 AM on November 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
Mhoye, actual conspiracies tend to be in service of a simple goal and involve a small enough group of conspirators that they can reasonably hope to avoid detection. Volkswagen wanted to seller higher-efficiency diesel engines than could fairly pass emissions test. The Iran-Contra guys wanted to overthrow Daniel Ortega despite the Boland Amendment.
When people propose conspiracy theories that require large numbers of conspirators working for a long time, or working in service of an opaque goal, or pursuing that goal in a very unlikely or high-cost way, that's when they become implausible.
posted by MattD at 10:06 AM on November 30, 2016 [15 favorites]
When people propose conspiracy theories that require large numbers of conspirators working for a long time, or working in service of an opaque goal, or pursuing that goal in a very unlikely or high-cost way, that's when they become implausible.
posted by MattD at 10:06 AM on November 30, 2016 [15 favorites]
The only attractions in the village where DancingDark runs a one-woman aromatherapy cleaning business are the weekend rodeo and the local Tim Hortons. The small Canadian farming town also houses a mental institution.Ponoka?
posted by clawsoon at 10:06 AM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
If I were younger, balder, and paler, I'd totally join to go on a few dates as a classic John Keel-style Man in Black who needs simple things like how forks work and which part of the orange is edible explained to them.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:07 AM on November 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:07 AM on November 30, 2016 [7 favorites]
JET FUEL CAN'T MELT MY FROZEN HEART
posted by chavenet at 10:11 AM on November 30, 2016 [23 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 10:11 AM on November 30, 2016 [23 favorites]
You're right, ODiV, that was my editorial mistake.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 10:26 AM on November 30, 2016
posted by Kitty Stardust at 10:26 AM on November 30, 2016
I usually like long-form reads but I couldn't get through either of these. Just ugh.
posted by caution live frogs at 10:42 AM on November 30, 2016
posted by caution live frogs at 10:42 AM on November 30, 2016
Between this post and the Instagram one below, I am now considering a vast yet scary untapped market for my weird alien etsy art. Like it wouldn't stain my soul to toss in a few #conspiracy tags here and there, right?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:47 AM on November 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:47 AM on November 30, 2016 [3 favorites]
When people propose conspiracy theories that require large numbers of conspirators working for a long time, or working in service of an opaque goal, or pursuing that goal in a very unlikely or high-cost way, that's when they become implausible.
I'm not sure how true that is? I mean, I've frequently said that there's no overlap between the groups of people who believe conspiracy theories and the groups of people who've planned their own weddings, but on the other hand Janet Airlines flies a lot of people in and out of Area 51 every week and we somehow don't know much about what happens there.
Alien spaceships are pretty implausible, for sure! But the U.S. security apparatus seems to keep a lot of secrets successfully, and they employ a lot of people.
posted by mhoye at 10:52 AM on November 30, 2016
I'm not sure how true that is? I mean, I've frequently said that there's no overlap between the groups of people who believe conspiracy theories and the groups of people who've planned their own weddings, but on the other hand Janet Airlines flies a lot of people in and out of Area 51 every week and we somehow don't know much about what happens there.
Alien spaceships are pretty implausible, for sure! But the U.S. security apparatus seems to keep a lot of secrets successfully, and they employ a lot of people.
posted by mhoye at 10:52 AM on November 30, 2016
The caption on the lead photo in the MMA link is a masterpiece of editorial dry understatement.
"Former associate," seeing as how she's fixin' to shoot him in the leg.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:57 AM on November 30, 2016
"Former associate," seeing as how she's fixin' to shoot him in the leg.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:57 AM on November 30, 2016
Alien spaceships are pretty implausible, for sure! But the U.S. security apparatus seems to keep a lot of secrets successfully, and they employ a lot of people.
I mean yeah, but the secrets are always something far more boring than what conspiracy theorists would dream up. I mean, Area 51 is a military base. There are lots of reasons why people would fly in and out of a military base and why the goings-on on a military base might be secret.
"Area 51: where they are testing the F-35.5 prototypes" is not a conspiracy theory. There's no "evidence" that it's true, but that's the kind of thing that the government is known to do. Homan Square is a real thing that happened, but before the evidence came out, I would have been willing to lend credence to it because detaining prisoners is a thing that the government does, that they would do it badly wouldn't surprise me.
"Area 51: where they are keeping immortal aliens prisoner" is a conspiracy theory. Not only is there no evidence, but there's no reason to believe that aliens have visited the Earth in recent history, especially given the fact that it's unlikely that they would have only visited the U.S. and while the American government likes to and is good at keeping secrets, many governments are not.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:59 AM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I mean yeah, but the secrets are always something far more boring than what conspiracy theorists would dream up. I mean, Area 51 is a military base. There are lots of reasons why people would fly in and out of a military base and why the goings-on on a military base might be secret.
"Area 51: where they are testing the F-35.5 prototypes" is not a conspiracy theory. There's no "evidence" that it's true, but that's the kind of thing that the government is known to do. Homan Square is a real thing that happened, but before the evidence came out, I would have been willing to lend credence to it because detaining prisoners is a thing that the government does, that they would do it badly wouldn't surprise me.
"Area 51: where they are keeping immortal aliens prisoner" is a conspiracy theory. Not only is there no evidence, but there's no reason to believe that aliens have visited the Earth in recent history, especially given the fact that it's unlikely that they would have only visited the U.S. and while the American government likes to and is good at keeping secrets, many governments are not.
posted by sparklemotion at 11:59 AM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
Like it wouldn't stain my soul to toss in a few #conspiracy tags here and there, right?
Instagram Update: Added a #conspiracy tag to an image, immediately got a follower whose posts include a lot of Joe Rogan quotes and Rothschild name dropping. Brrrr.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:47 PM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Instagram Update: Added a #conspiracy tag to an image, immediately got a follower whose posts include a lot of Joe Rogan quotes and Rothschild name dropping. Brrrr.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:47 PM on November 30, 2016 [4 favorites]
Ultimately, isn't this just another form of dating within your tribe, with "truther" as the stand-in for "vegan", "cosplay enthusiast", or "Presbyterian"? It's a bit more problematic due to the lack of an authoritative, unifying conspiracy liturgy -- conspiracy theories come in an endless variety of flavors*, so you need a good matching algorithm -- but if this is just emerging as a thing, I guess I'm only surprised that it's taken this long. The internet has proven to be exceptionally good at allowing dispersed but like-minded folks to find one another and connect. Dating (and whatever may follow) is just an extension of this.
*Caution: Any given theory likely to contain Jews.
posted by mosk at 1:24 PM on November 30, 2016
*Caution: Any given theory likely to contain Jews.
posted by mosk at 1:24 PM on November 30, 2016
So there's this old Steve Jackson card game, "Illuminatus!", set in a world where each player plays a different shadowy power in a world where all the conspiracy theories are true, all of them.
Cards in the game represent different organizations, ranging from powerful groups like the FBI, the CIA, and Texas, on down to relatively powerless groups like the Libertarian Party and the Society of Goldfish Fanciers. Each card had keywords indicating their alignment: "conservative," "liberal," "peaceful," "violent," "straight," "weird," and so forth. Most cards would get bonuses when paired with cards of the same alignment (so "conservative" cards would get bonuses from "conservative" cards) and penalties when paired with cards of the opposite alignment (so for example "straight" cards would get penalties when interacting with "weird" cards).
The game's chief exception to this rule is that "fanatic" is its own opposite.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 1:37 PM on November 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
Cards in the game represent different organizations, ranging from powerful groups like the FBI, the CIA, and Texas, on down to relatively powerless groups like the Libertarian Party and the Society of Goldfish Fanciers. Each card had keywords indicating their alignment: "conservative," "liberal," "peaceful," "violent," "straight," "weird," and so forth. Most cards would get bonuses when paired with cards of the same alignment (so "conservative" cards would get bonuses from "conservative" cards) and penalties when paired with cards of the opposite alignment (so for example "straight" cards would get penalties when interacting with "weird" cards).
The game's chief exception to this rule is that "fanatic" is its own opposite.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 1:37 PM on November 30, 2016 [8 favorites]
Are gift memberships available?
posted by wonton endangerment at 1:55 PM on November 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by wonton endangerment at 1:55 PM on November 30, 2016 [1 favorite]
One of the remarkable things about the "Illuminatus!" card game was that a first-time player could completely smoke a table of experienced players. In fact, it was pretty common. Their second game? They'd get crushed.
I've thought about it often and the only hypthesis I've been able to come up with is it's easiest to contrive conspiracies when you have the least understanding of how a system works.
posted by ardgedee at 3:41 PM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've thought about it often and the only hypthesis I've been able to come up with is it's easiest to contrive conspiracies when you have the least understanding of how a system works.
posted by ardgedee at 3:41 PM on November 30, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've never won a game of Illuminatus! but it always bums me out how few options you have when playing the Discordians or otherwise amassing Weird groups. They're so weak and isolated, but their cards are so much fun!
posted by chainsofreedom at 4:07 PM on November 30, 2016
posted by chainsofreedom at 4:07 PM on November 30, 2016
As a metaconspiracy theorist, I'm really getting a kick etc.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:37 PM on November 30, 2016
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:37 PM on November 30, 2016
I mean yeah, but the secrets are always something far more boring than what conspiracy theorists would dream up.
My father is a software engineer with a Top Secret! clearance, and he builds navigation systems for fighter jets and whatnot.
Number one joke at the office is: "If I told you, I'd have to bore you!"
The stuff (besides some crypto) is just good ol' embedded systems work. But, the DoD says it's Top Secret, so it is Top Secret. No aliens or otherwise cool stuff is involved.
posted by sideshow at 5:52 PM on November 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
My father is a software engineer with a Top Secret! clearance, and he builds navigation systems for fighter jets and whatnot.
Number one joke at the office is: "If I told you, I'd have to bore you!"
The stuff (besides some crypto) is just good ol' embedded systems work. But, the DoD says it's Top Secret, so it is Top Secret. No aliens or otherwise cool stuff is involved.
posted by sideshow at 5:52 PM on November 30, 2016 [6 favorites]
I think anyone who followed emailgate closely learned how arbitrarily information is classified by the gubmints.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 3:44 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Kitty Stardust at 3:44 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
To be fair, "Anti-vaccinators and government haters, Masons and Illuminati, we're the match makers!" is just one of the tremendous lines in their absolutely EPIC jingle.
'Though Jarrod is originally from Australia and Aine is American, the founders of Awake Dating share their beliefs. Today the couple lives with their two children in the Irish countryside, surrounded by fields, farms and mountains.'
And tinfoil. So much tinfoil.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:42 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
'Though Jarrod is originally from Australia and Aine is American, the founders of Awake Dating share their beliefs. Today the couple lives with their two children in the Irish countryside, surrounded by fields, farms and mountains.'
And tinfoil. So much tinfoil.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:42 AM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
sideshow: The stuff (besides some crypto) is just good ol' embedded systems work. But, the DoD says it's Top Secret, so it is Top Secret. No aliens or otherwise cool stuff is involved.
SO HE SAYS.
posted by clawsoon at 9:40 AM on December 1, 2016
SO HE SAYS.
posted by clawsoon at 9:40 AM on December 1, 2016
The game was Illuminati, the trilogy was Illuminatus! Unless this is some strange Clue/Cluedo nonsense.
Sorry, I tried not to.
fnord
posted by absalom at 7:15 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
Sorry, I tried not to.
fnord
posted by absalom at 7:15 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
The game was Illuminati
This is true. Also, in case anyone was curious:
posted by mordax at 11:09 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is true. Also, in case anyone was curious:
ALIGNMENTS... man, I miss both that game and when real life did not really resemble that game.
Government is the opposite of Communist.
Liberal is the opposite of Conservative.
Peaceful is the opposite of Violent.
Straight is the opposite of Weird.
Criminal has no opposite alignment.
Fanatic – Any two Fanatic Groups are considered “opposite”
to each other.
posted by mordax at 11:09 PM on December 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
Selling someone into a belief system like this effectively removes them from the legitimate political sphere. So, there is an interest in some groups to promote such nonsense.
I have a dear, old friend who has fallen into deep conspiracy territory. I suspect dementia. He wrote me shortly before election day, to tell me he had a dream, and the orange guy was the Real Deal. Considering this friend is a gay activist from the 1980s, it blew my mind. I knew he had gotten nutty about 9-11 and all kinds of New World Order nonsense.
posted by Goofyy at 4:20 AM on December 2, 2016
I have a dear, old friend who has fallen into deep conspiracy territory. I suspect dementia. He wrote me shortly before election day, to tell me he had a dream, and the orange guy was the Real Deal. Considering this friend is a gay activist from the 1980s, it blew my mind. I knew he had gotten nutty about 9-11 and all kinds of New World Order nonsense.
posted by Goofyy at 4:20 AM on December 2, 2016
Actually, speaking of the Illuminati game, my husband has both the boxed game, as well as two stacks of cards for a make-your-own Illuminati game that he has amassed, a la Magic the Gathering. So that's fun.
posted by chainsofreedom at 7:20 AM on December 2, 2016
posted by chainsofreedom at 7:20 AM on December 2, 2016
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posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 8:43 AM on November 30, 2016 [27 favorites]