Superyacht Consumers No Longer Underserved By Housing Market
January 18, 2017 11:29 AM Subscribe
America's most expensive luxury home - complete with Dom Perignon-filled fire extinguishers, a candy wall, and the helicopter from Airwolf - can now be yours for a cool $250 million.
Spec!? that is crazy stupid horrible fuck everything
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 11:36 AM on January 18, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 11:36 AM on January 18, 2017 [12 favorites]
Disgusting.
posted by soren_lorensen at 11:37 AM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by soren_lorensen at 11:37 AM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
When I look at that my first thought is "I don't have enough money to buy that" but rather "I don't have enough friends so if I owned that all those unused seats and candy walls would just make me feel sad all the time."
posted by bondcliff at 11:38 AM on January 18, 2017 [33 favorites]
posted by bondcliff at 11:38 AM on January 18, 2017 [33 favorites]
Makowsky, who sold Swedish video-game billionaire Markus Persson a Beverly Hills mansion for $70 million in 2016
Ah, there it is. I was gonna say, this looks and sounds like notch's m'ansion [fedora tip].
posted by uncleozzy at 11:39 AM on January 18, 2017 [9 favorites]
Ah, there it is. I was gonna say, this looks and sounds like notch's m'ansion [fedora tip].
posted by uncleozzy at 11:39 AM on January 18, 2017 [9 favorites]
Ah, there it is. I was gonna say, this looks and sounds like notch's m'ansion [fedora tip].
The saddest thing I heard about this is that Notch's candy wall is steadily going stale because while it's one thing to be able to afford a candy wall, it's another to keep it all perpetually fresh.
posted by solarion at 11:43 AM on January 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
The saddest thing I heard about this is that Notch's candy wall is steadily going stale because while it's one thing to be able to afford a candy wall, it's another to keep it all perpetually fresh.
posted by solarion at 11:43 AM on January 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
Someone should buy it and convert it into a homeless shelter.
posted by tittergrrl at 11:44 AM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by tittergrrl at 11:44 AM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
When I hear the word culture "$200 million spec mansion" I reach for my gun.
posted by wenestvedt at 11:45 AM on January 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by wenestvedt at 11:45 AM on January 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
The Airwolf helicopter doesn't even work?
Total rip-off.
posted by dfm500 at 11:48 AM on January 18, 2017 [12 favorites]
Total rip-off.
posted by dfm500 at 11:48 AM on January 18, 2017 [12 favorites]
It looks like the sort of thing you work your way up to in a GTA game. Like a blinged up cartoon self-parody.
This is sort of a turnkey mansion, complete with decor and staff. No decisions necessary, just sign here and move in. Like a consumer product. I would have thought most people with the means would rather participate in the design. What do I know?
posted by Western Infidels at 11:50 AM on January 18, 2017 [25 favorites]
This is sort of a turnkey mansion, complete with decor and staff. No decisions necessary, just sign here and move in. Like a consumer product. I would have thought most people with the means would rather participate in the design. What do I know?
posted by Western Infidels at 11:50 AM on January 18, 2017 [25 favorites]
It reminds me of the car Homer designed in that one episode of the Simpsons.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:50 AM on January 18, 2017 [21 favorites]
posted by mr_roboto at 11:50 AM on January 18, 2017 [21 favorites]
"...Who is not going to be wildly impressed when they see this?"
Haha. ha.
Lately when I see overpriced Los Angeles homes all I can think of is why, if you had enough money to buy one of those places, you would want to live in Los Angeles. (And I used to live there, and liked it fine.) Why not buy, say, a French chateaux built in 1628, and use the spare $235 million to fund private jet travel and the renting of penthouse hotel suites to suit your business needs? I would be such a sensible, tasteful rich person.
posted by something something at 11:51 AM on January 18, 2017 [39 favorites]
Haha. ha.
Lately when I see overpriced Los Angeles homes all I can think of is why, if you had enough money to buy one of those places, you would want to live in Los Angeles. (And I used to live there, and liked it fine.) Why not buy, say, a French chateaux built in 1628, and use the spare $235 million to fund private jet travel and the renting of penthouse hotel suites to suit your business needs? I would be such a sensible, tasteful rich person.
posted by something something at 11:51 AM on January 18, 2017 [39 favorites]
Why not buy, say, a French chateaux built in 1628...
Do you have any idea how much those things cost to heat?!
posted by mr_roboto at 11:52 AM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
Do you have any idea how much those things cost to heat?!
posted by mr_roboto at 11:52 AM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
Spend 10 million on this castle and renovations, then use the extra 240 million to have a standing army of pikemen take Edinburgh and save Scotland from Brexit.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:53 AM on January 18, 2017 [48 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:53 AM on January 18, 2017 [48 favorites]
Also, those Dom Perignon fire extinguishers can't possibly be up to code.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:54 AM on January 18, 2017 [22 favorites]
posted by mr_roboto at 11:54 AM on January 18, 2017 [22 favorites]
out of all of this, for some reason the thing that stands out to me as a Bad Idea is the glass foosball tables. I mean, have they played foosball?
posted by cubby at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by cubby at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2017 [7 favorites]
I really don't get Dom Perignon filled fire extinguishers. Are you supposed to drink your Dom out of a fire extinguisher? Or are you supposed to extinguish fires with Dom?
If it's the former, doesn't that seem like a bad choice? I mean, Riedel has specifically shaped stemware for that, and it isn't fire extinguisher shaped.
And if it's the latter, wine burns.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
If it's the former, doesn't that seem like a bad choice? I mean, Riedel has specifically shaped stemware for that, and it isn't fire extinguisher shaped.
And if it's the latter, wine burns.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:55 AM on January 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
Do you have any idea how much those things cost to heat?!
I mean, surely not more than like $500,000 a year.
posted by something something at 11:56 AM on January 18, 2017
I mean, surely not more than like $500,000 a year.
posted by something something at 11:56 AM on January 18, 2017
for some reason the thing that stands out to me as a Bad Idea is the glass foosball tables.
I particularly liked that there appear to be four identical one-of-a-kind glass foosball tables.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:56 AM on January 18, 2017 [22 favorites]
I particularly liked that there appear to be four identical one-of-a-kind glass foosball tables.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:56 AM on January 18, 2017 [22 favorites]
Also, those Dom Perignon fire extinguishers can't possibly be up to code.
I believe the code calls for Cristal now.
posted by bondcliff at 11:57 AM on January 18, 2017 [20 favorites]
I believe the code calls for Cristal now.
posted by bondcliff at 11:57 AM on January 18, 2017 [20 favorites]
look i am a busy wealthy man and i need my dom at velocity
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:57 AM on January 18, 2017 [49 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:57 AM on January 18, 2017 [49 favorites]
Someone should steal it and convert it into a homeless shelter.
posted by Grangousier at 11:57 AM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Grangousier at 11:57 AM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
I knew a guy that would be all over that, but he passed away over Christmas. In fact, I had to check the listing because I did initially wonder if it WAS his place and that was why it was on the market. But apparently not.
posted by Brockles at 12:06 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by Brockles at 12:06 PM on January 18, 2017
The Airwolf helicopter doesn't even work?
Total rip-off.
Blue Thunder or no sale.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:08 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
Total rip-off.
Blue Thunder or no sale.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:08 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
Flawless luxury, but the toilet in bathroom #17 - you'll have to jiggle the handle. Sorry.
posted by davebush at 12:09 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by davebush at 12:09 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
I really don't get Dom Perignon filled fire extinguishers. Are you supposed to drink your Dom out of a fire extinguisher? Or are you supposed to extinguish fires with Dom?
If you're going to ask the question, you are clearly not baller enough to be asking. Its in case your money fire gets out of hand.
I'm sad that we haven't reached for the badass helicopter stars since Airwolf. I mean, c'mon, you gonna have Knight Rider in the garage? (America: when did you stop inventing insane machines?) So dated but so few alternatives.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:10 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
If you're going to ask the question, you are clearly not baller enough to be asking. Its in case your money fire gets out of hand.
I'm sad that we haven't reached for the badass helicopter stars since Airwolf. I mean, c'mon, you gonna have Knight Rider in the garage? (America: when did you stop inventing insane machines?) So dated but so few alternatives.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:10 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
But I mean really, at just under $600K, a fully-functional Bell 222 is really just a rounding error next to the price of the house.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:11 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:11 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I really don't get Dom Perignon filled fire extinguishers.
I mean really. For that price I'd expect at least 151 Rum, not that cheap 17% abv shit.
posted by bonehead at 12:13 PM on January 18, 2017
I mean really. For that price I'd expect at least 151 Rum, not that cheap 17% abv shit.
posted by bonehead at 12:13 PM on January 18, 2017
151 proof rum in a fire extinguisher? You scamp! As for the house, there's something very kid's dream house about the whole thing. You don't even have to shop for your own cars--where's the fun in that?
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:22 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:22 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
The Airwolf helicopter doesn't even work?
It also seems to have a catamaran, even though it's not on the water. Nonfunctional transportation is some kind of theme, here?
posted by gurple at 12:23 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
It also seems to have a catamaran, even though it's not on the water. Nonfunctional transportation is some kind of theme, here?
posted by gurple at 12:23 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
I read stuff like this and my eye starts twitching and I start to think that a class war might not be the worst thing. Gotta be better than this shit.
posted by dudemanlives at 12:25 PM on January 18, 2017 [15 favorites]
posted by dudemanlives at 12:25 PM on January 18, 2017 [15 favorites]
This is some bullshit that would have created if you had several hours to kill in the Sims.
posted by 81818181818181818181 at 12:25 PM on January 18, 2017 [23 favorites]
posted by 81818181818181818181 at 12:25 PM on January 18, 2017 [23 favorites]
This kind of makes sense to me. In Toronto the average house price is around $1 million and the most expensive is somewhere around $20-30 million. The person with the million dollar home might have an income somewhere around $100,000-200,000 and probably not a whole lot in the way of other assets. Now compare this with some billionaire and they can definitely afford to spend more than $30 million on a house. Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place you'll be living in?
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:26 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 12:26 PM on January 18, 2017
The whole overblown tackiness of the place is just so pointless. As other folks say, the Airwolf helicopter doesn't even work, so what's the big deal? For that kind of money, I'd demand a real, working copter! Dom Perigon fire extinguishers? For cryin' out loud, that stuff will be flat in no time at all, and then all you've got is expensive, undrinkable, wasted booze. And that "$200,000 candy wall": good grief, there are a ton of theaters and grocery stores with the exact same thing, and I think it's safe to say none of them has paid anywhere near that kind of money. And finally, that's an awful small hunk of land for an awful large hunk of money --- methinks the developer is a ripoff artist deluxe.
(And I absolutely hate how that video opens on a slinky model in a backlit, see-thru dress, which the camera lovingly lingers on. Is that supposed to be a selling point? Does this developer think the ultra-rich are that stupid?!?)
posted by easily confused at 12:26 PM on January 18, 2017 [17 favorites]
(And I absolutely hate how that video opens on a slinky model in a backlit, see-thru dress, which the camera lovingly lingers on. Is that supposed to be a selling point? Does this developer think the ultra-rich are that stupid?!?)
posted by easily confused at 12:26 PM on January 18, 2017 [17 favorites]
The kind of people who would pay $250 million for a house would also never buy this off the rack bullshit.
posted by xthlc at 12:29 PM on January 18, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by xthlc at 12:29 PM on January 18, 2017 [11 favorites]
This recalls some of my recent reading in Dancing in the Glory of Monsters: The Collapse of the Congo and the Great War in Africa.
Candy wall, but no jaguars on prem? Lacks a certain imagination.
posted by mrdaneri at 12:30 PM on January 18, 2017
Candy wall, but no jaguars on prem? Lacks a certain imagination.
posted by mrdaneri at 12:30 PM on January 18, 2017
That house must have the biggest, most beautiful septic tank you've ever seen.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:30 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by PlusDistance at 12:30 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
And I absolutely hate how that video opens on a slinky model in a backlit, see-thru dress,
"Do YOU come with the house?"
"Tee-hee! Oh, you!"
posted by bondcliff at 12:31 PM on January 18, 2017 [11 favorites]
"Do YOU come with the house?"
"Tee-hee! Oh, you!"
posted by bondcliff at 12:31 PM on January 18, 2017 [11 favorites]
Hey, at least it comes with that bowling alley - Just waiting to be the setting for your inevitable 'There Will Be Blood'-style rich person murder-meltdown.
What I'm saying is they're thinking ahead.
posted by AAALASTAIR at 12:32 PM on January 18, 2017 [16 favorites]
What I'm saying is they're thinking ahead.
posted by AAALASTAIR at 12:32 PM on January 18, 2017 [16 favorites]
Speaking of which, I don't see a mountain-of-coke room either.
posted by bonehead at 12:36 PM on January 18, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by bonehead at 12:36 PM on January 18, 2017 [8 favorites]
I would have thought most people with the means would rather participate in the design.
People who have the taste and sensibility to do that well don't want or need places like this.
posted by mhoye at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2017
People who have the taste and sensibility to do that well don't want or need places like this.
posted by mhoye at 12:38 PM on January 18, 2017
There are a couple of things about that home that I like (nice pool. The pop-up movie screen is aces. The home theater is great. I'd totally have one of those if I had the money), but the rest of it legitimately leaves me cold. It doesn't look like a house that anyone could live in.
I'd like to think that if I had a billion dollars I'd build a home that people would legitimately think is nice and cool and fun and not just a winning move in some dick-waving competition.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 12:40 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'd like to think that if I had a billion dollars I'd build a home that people would legitimately think is nice and cool and fun and not just a winning move in some dick-waving competition.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 12:40 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Gross. Is there a better example of "money don't buy class" than this place? A gigantic, tacky pile of conspicuous consumption to waive in front of your tasteless nouveau riche peers can be yours for only a quarter of a billion dollars. What a horrible waste of resources and a sign that the wealthy simply can't be trusted with their money.
posted by Lighthammer at 12:42 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Lighthammer at 12:42 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place you'll be living in?
This seems to start from the assumption that the only thing one can do with a fortune is choose which wall you want to piss it up. Why not invest it in decent housing for your workers, improving the ethical qualities of your investments, building useful longterm infrastructure or really doing anything at all of some use, worth and value?
posted by howfar at 12:44 PM on January 18, 2017 [14 favorites]
This seems to start from the assumption that the only thing one can do with a fortune is choose which wall you want to piss it up. Why not invest it in decent housing for your workers, improving the ethical qualities of your investments, building useful longterm infrastructure or really doing anything at all of some use, worth and value?
posted by howfar at 12:44 PM on January 18, 2017 [14 favorites]
There is no way that candy wall cost $200K. I have bought a lot of overpriced candy and there is no way unless each piece was purchased individually at LaGuardia airport. If the dispensers were made out of something expensive like endangered sloth bladder vellum I'm sure the article would brag about it. I call BS.
posted by Alison at 12:46 PM on January 18, 2017 [23 favorites]
posted by Alison at 12:46 PM on January 18, 2017 [23 favorites]
There is no way that candy wall cost $200K.
I'm guessing that price includes the cost of Candy Wall Consultants, certified Candy Wall Installers, a subscription to Candy Wall Owning Douche Monthly, choking insurance, and whatever other bullshit charges they can add on since nobody who can afford this house is ever going to question it.
posted by bondcliff at 12:50 PM on January 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
I'm guessing that price includes the cost of Candy Wall Consultants, certified Candy Wall Installers, a subscription to Candy Wall Owning Douche Monthly, choking insurance, and whatever other bullshit charges they can add on since nobody who can afford this house is ever going to question it.
posted by bondcliff at 12:50 PM on January 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
Oddly, conspicuous consumption like this is *better* for the economy than the typical expenditures. These items all need to be sourced and the money actually trickles into the economy and into the hands of laborers and craftspersons. Better for $250M to leave the hands of a rich fool than for that fool to invest it in the banks and markets that'll just swish it around and keep it in the hands of the rich.
posted by explosion at 12:53 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by explosion at 12:53 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
To be fair, the candy wall is really only a used gum wall.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:53 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:53 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
Ogre Lawless: "I really don't get Dom Perignon filled fire extinguishers. Are you supposed to drink your Dom out of a fire extinguisher? Or are you supposed to extinguish fires with Dom?
If you're going to ask the question, you are clearly not baller enough to be asking. Its in case your money fire gets out of hand. "
Dom? Did you go to that one word community college in Connecticut?
They're filled with Armand De Brignac, not that Perignon cooking vinegar
posted by wcfields at 12:57 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
If you're going to ask the question, you are clearly not baller enough to be asking. Its in case your money fire gets out of hand. "
Dom? Did you go to that one word community college in Connecticut?
They're filled with Armand De Brignac, not that Perignon cooking vinegar
posted by wcfields at 12:57 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
With regards to the "sculpture" helicopter, here's what I think happened: in the developer's mind, every good evil lair megamansion needs a helipad on its roof. Original plan was to put a helipad and a real helicopter on it as part of the property.
Unfortunately, building helipads is a permitting nightmare and the public review period probably whipped all the neighbors in to a frenzy. Helipad gets rejected due to overwhelming local opposition, or the FAA wouldn't grant a permit, or whatever. Meanwhile, developer has already built up the helipad foundation and now there's just this ugly slab of concrete on the roof of the building. (Other possible scenario here - developer found out what it actually costs to put a helipad on top of a building and did a big "hell no" right then and there.) So it gets dressed up as a "helipad" minus all the things that would make it legally a helipad, and they found a TV prop to put on top of it.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:57 PM on January 18, 2017 [18 favorites]
Unfortunately, building helipads is a permitting nightmare and the public review period probably whipped all the neighbors in to a frenzy. Helipad gets rejected due to overwhelming local opposition, or the FAA wouldn't grant a permit, or whatever. Meanwhile, developer has already built up the helipad foundation and now there's just this ugly slab of concrete on the roof of the building. (Other possible scenario here - developer found out what it actually costs to put a helipad on top of a building and did a big "hell no" right then and there.) So it gets dressed up as a "helipad" minus all the things that would make it legally a helipad, and they found a TV prop to put on top of it.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:57 PM on January 18, 2017 [18 favorites]
Geez, you'd think for $250M they'd throw in a windsock for the helipad. But, maybe they were afraid that might look, you know, crass?
posted by Dean358 at 12:58 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by Dean358 at 12:58 PM on January 18, 2017
I just figured out what my super comfortable second-hand chairs and couches in my family room are missing: velvet ropes. I am done trying to figure out why you'd rope off a seating area in your private house.
It looks like they knocked down a fairly nice looking and extravagant without being gross $8M house to build this monstrosity. I hate seeing perfectly nice buildings leveled to build something more gaudy because the person just had to have that location. It happens on some of the lakes around here in a similar way, though obviously on a smaller scale. Just find a place where there isn't already a house or the house is falling apart.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 12:58 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
It looks like they knocked down a fairly nice looking and extravagant without being gross $8M house to build this monstrosity. I hate seeing perfectly nice buildings leveled to build something more gaudy because the person just had to have that location. It happens on some of the lakes around here in a similar way, though obviously on a smaller scale. Just find a place where there isn't already a house or the house is falling apart.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 12:58 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
It's interesting too, that $85M was the 'sweat-soaked middle-class rage point' a mere three years ago.
A different property, it seems, but again, candy walls make an appearance.
That's a fairly big jump in just a few years.
posted by mrdaneri at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
A different property, it seems, but again, candy walls make an appearance.
That's a fairly big jump in just a few years.
posted by mrdaneri at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
If you want to try to dampen that feeling of nausea, here's a nice profile of Charles Feeney, who just finished giving away this last of his $8 billion fortune.
"His remaining personal net worth is slightly more than $2 million. That’s not quite broke, by any standard, but it is a modest amount for a man who controlled thousands of times as much wealth. He and his wife, Helga, now live in a rented apartment in San Francisco.
“You can only wear one pair of pants at a time,” Mr. Feeney has said.
Until he was 75, he traveled only in coach, and carried reading materials in a plastic bag. For many years, when in New York, he had lunch not at the city’s luxury restaurants, but in the homey confines of Tommy Makem’s Irish Pavilion on East 57th Street, where he ate the burgers."
"During the early 1990s, Mr. Feeney met secretly with paramilitary forces in Belfast, Northern Ireland, urging them to drop armed guerrilla conflict and promising financial support if they embraced electoral politics. Atlantic grants paid to create a public health system in Vietnam, and to provide access to antiretroviral treatment for AIDS in southern Africa. The last rounds of grants, about $600 million, included support for Atlantic Fellows, described as young emerging leaders working in their countries for healthier, more equitable societies."
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2017 [67 favorites]
"His remaining personal net worth is slightly more than $2 million. That’s not quite broke, by any standard, but it is a modest amount for a man who controlled thousands of times as much wealth. He and his wife, Helga, now live in a rented apartment in San Francisco.
“You can only wear one pair of pants at a time,” Mr. Feeney has said.
Until he was 75, he traveled only in coach, and carried reading materials in a plastic bag. For many years, when in New York, he had lunch not at the city’s luxury restaurants, but in the homey confines of Tommy Makem’s Irish Pavilion on East 57th Street, where he ate the burgers."
"During the early 1990s, Mr. Feeney met secretly with paramilitary forces in Belfast, Northern Ireland, urging them to drop armed guerrilla conflict and promising financial support if they embraced electoral politics. Atlantic grants paid to create a public health system in Vietnam, and to provide access to antiretroviral treatment for AIDS in southern Africa. The last rounds of grants, about $600 million, included support for Atlantic Fellows, described as young emerging leaders working in their countries for healthier, more equitable societies."
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2017 [67 favorites]
Better for $250M to leave the hands of a rich fool than for that fool to invest it in the banks and markets that'll just swish it around and keep it in the hands of the rich.
I don't know whether this claim is true. I mean, it seems like it might be true, but without data how can you actually know? Banks and financial markets do actually have lots of connections with real businesses engaging in real economic activity.
posted by howfar at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I don't know whether this claim is true. I mean, it seems like it might be true, but without data how can you actually know? Banks and financial markets do actually have lots of connections with real businesses engaging in real economic activity.
posted by howfar at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Most of the tacky-to-us moveable and un-installable things in this house are effectively optional -- probably all the way to the Airwolf shell. They're basically on consignment from the owner / designer / merchant who are getting to advertise their wares to the hundreds of people who will see the house and the millions of people who will see the videos.
posted by MattD at 1:02 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by MattD at 1:02 PM on January 18, 2017
If you're going to ask the question, you are clearly not baller enough to be asking. Its in case your money fire gets out of hand.
Is that you, Kei$ha?
posted by wenestvedt at 1:03 PM on January 18, 2017
Is that you, Kei$ha?
posted by wenestvedt at 1:03 PM on January 18, 2017
The first time I set foot in a $1.5 million 63rd floor apartment I was amazed by the view. Then I looked around and it was no larger than the flat I stayed in as a student for 100$ a week. Then someone built a taller building that blocked their view.
posted by adept256 at 1:06 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by adept256 at 1:06 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Exhiibit #1 for why a 95% wealth tax is not just a good idea, but badly overdue.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:13 PM on January 18, 2017 [21 favorites]
posted by MartinWisse at 1:13 PM on January 18, 2017 [21 favorites]
Ray Smuckles is selling his place?
This is conveniently close to Achewood going on indefinite hiatus...
posted by hwyengr at 1:13 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
This is conveniently close to Achewood going on indefinite hiatus...
posted by hwyengr at 1:13 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
I want a candy wall. It wouldn't go stale in my house!
posted by SisterHavana at 1:13 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by SisterHavana at 1:13 PM on January 18, 2017
Were there no empty volcanoes available?
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:14 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:14 PM on January 18, 2017
I pronounce a curse.
If, then, raised in a vacuum of duty and principles, you discover the ground of your being is an actual void, you might be so inspired to fashion for yourself tiny, comprehensible gods to worship.
Make them in any image or shape that you like.
Pour them into that void, desperately, like a drowning man pulls air into his lungs.
Kneeling before them, the soporific aroma of the burning incense overwhelms your senses, and like a ringing gong you hear the incantation, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.
What does it feel like to behold your little gods?
Your gun-safe bristling with pointless armaments, your barn filled with relics, the closet of beanie babies, garbage bags of paper currency, your candy-wall?
Does it remind you of the time in your life when your father was proud of you? Is it a facsimile of true love? Do you matter to anyone?
You will not die a noble death. Your soft body will tumble naked and dumb onto the shores of Nástrǫnd and be food for the noisome gulls.
You worshiped small gods, stupid gods, insignificant gods.
You were given everything, you were given the time of a life, and you frittered it away like a hopeless drunk.
You fought no great battles - in service to your idolatry you risked nothing more substantial than money and bested no adversaries who weren't already beholden to the gods you serve.
Mammon gave you a gentle and pointless life, the fury of the cries from within his iron molochs were so distant from your ears that you never even suspected you were complicit in a thousand murders.
Now that death has come, your small gods have no authority, and you dangle - spiderlike - over oblivion. You served no real Gods during your life - why would you want to serve them now?
I have nothing but pity for the people who worship money and make meaning for themselves out of the teocuitlatl that seeps up from the earth. It will pull them back down into the same soil from which it originated. Let it be an anchor for their caskets.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:14 PM on January 18, 2017 [25 favorites]
If, then, raised in a vacuum of duty and principles, you discover the ground of your being is an actual void, you might be so inspired to fashion for yourself tiny, comprehensible gods to worship.
Make them in any image or shape that you like.
Pour them into that void, desperately, like a drowning man pulls air into his lungs.
Kneeling before them, the soporific aroma of the burning incense overwhelms your senses, and like a ringing gong you hear the incantation, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.
What does it feel like to behold your little gods?
Your gun-safe bristling with pointless armaments, your barn filled with relics, the closet of beanie babies, garbage bags of paper currency, your candy-wall?
Does it remind you of the time in your life when your father was proud of you? Is it a facsimile of true love? Do you matter to anyone?
You will not die a noble death. Your soft body will tumble naked and dumb onto the shores of Nástrǫnd and be food for the noisome gulls.
You worshiped small gods, stupid gods, insignificant gods.
You were given everything, you were given the time of a life, and you frittered it away like a hopeless drunk.
You fought no great battles - in service to your idolatry you risked nothing more substantial than money and bested no adversaries who weren't already beholden to the gods you serve.
Mammon gave you a gentle and pointless life, the fury of the cries from within his iron molochs were so distant from your ears that you never even suspected you were complicit in a thousand murders.
Now that death has come, your small gods have no authority, and you dangle - spiderlike - over oblivion. You served no real Gods during your life - why would you want to serve them now?
I have nothing but pity for the people who worship money and make meaning for themselves out of the teocuitlatl that seeps up from the earth. It will pull them back down into the same soil from which it originated. Let it be an anchor for their caskets.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:14 PM on January 18, 2017 [25 favorites]
Some Saudi prince is going to buy this place or someone with a few billion of IMF cash stolen from sub-saharan Africa and it'll be hard property in their portfolio. Meh. It's not an actual house in the way that normal people conceive of a house. It's more akin to buying a bizzaro combination of a Monet painting and a shopping mall.
And I'm sure the developer can connect the buyer with a service that rotates the candy to keep it fresh.
posted by GuyZero at 1:14 PM on January 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
And I'm sure the developer can connect the buyer with a service that rotates the candy to keep it fresh.
posted by GuyZero at 1:14 PM on January 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
I want a candy wall.
The trouble with buying candy is that it means I'm going to eat candy and the trouble with that is it makes me fat. It's literally me going out and buying human fat.
So for me personally, this is less appealing that it seems on first blush.
posted by GuyZero at 1:15 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
The trouble with buying candy is that it means I'm going to eat candy and the trouble with that is it makes me fat. It's literally me going out and buying human fat.
So for me personally, this is less appealing that it seems on first blush.
posted by GuyZero at 1:15 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
Kinda interested. Anyone find any information on when the open house is?
posted by barrett caulk at 1:22 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by barrett caulk at 1:22 PM on January 18, 2017
“You can only wear one pair of pants at a time,” Mr. Feeney has said.
this man has no ambition, no wonder he gave away all his money
posted by queenofbithynia at 1:25 PM on January 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
this man has no ambition, no wonder he gave away all his money
posted by queenofbithynia at 1:25 PM on January 18, 2017 [6 favorites]
That floating staircase gives one (me) the impression of having to navigate an Apple Store in one's (my ratty Target) nightie.
posted by maryr at 1:30 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by maryr at 1:30 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
don't know what makes me angrier, stale remouthed slander of the nouveau riche as if taste is an inherited asset, or uncritical repetitions of the candy wall lie. look at the pictures!!! that is no candy wall, that is a row of candy machines. a candy wall is a beautiful fusion of the Hansel and Gretel witch house with Hannibal's kitchen garden wall, and you have to rebake, retemper and recraft it every season just like the Ice Hotel of Jukkasjarvi. it's art. this is not even craft.
posted by queenofbithynia at 1:30 PM on January 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by queenofbithynia at 1:30 PM on January 18, 2017 [13 favorites]
I thought the Airwolf helicopter crashed in 1992 while working as an air ambulance in Germany. More detail here. What gives?
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 1:31 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Jonathan Livengood at 1:31 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
Speaking of which, I don't see a mountain-of-coke room either.
Ooo! You could use the candy wall to store drugs instead of candy! Here's your bin of pot, your bin of cocaine, all different kinds of colorful pills... That'd liven up those foosball games!
posted by Daily Alice at 1:31 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
Ooo! You could use the candy wall to store drugs instead of candy! Here's your bin of pot, your bin of cocaine, all different kinds of colorful pills... That'd liven up those foosball games!
posted by Daily Alice at 1:31 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
I wonder if the guy who had sex with Airwolf knows about this.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:37 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:37 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
dudemanlives: "I read stuff like this and my eye starts twitching and I start to think that a class war might not be the worst thing. Gotta be better than this shit."
You and me both. I came in the thread to mention how this crap makes me nauseous, but hadn't gotten to the bottom of the thread....
posted by Samizdata at 1:42 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
You and me both. I came in the thread to mention how this crap makes me nauseous, but hadn't gotten to the bottom of the thread....
posted by Samizdata at 1:42 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
This house would give Trump a stiffy.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:47 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:47 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
maryr: "That floating staircase gives one (me) the impression of having to navigate an Apple Store in one's (my ratty Target) nightie."
If I had that much money, and that little taste, I wouldn't bother with nighties in Apple Stores. In flagrante delicto all the way!
posted by Samizdata at 1:47 PM on January 18, 2017
If I had that much money, and that little taste, I wouldn't bother with nighties in Apple Stores. In flagrante delicto all the way!
posted by Samizdata at 1:47 PM on January 18, 2017
An infinity pool looking over the LA skyline probably ain't the worst way to spend an evening.
posted by lstanley at 1:55 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by lstanley at 1:55 PM on January 18, 2017
You could use the candy wall to store drugs instead of candy!
Why do you think the candy wall was so expensive?
posted by jacquilynne at 2:11 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Why do you think the candy wall was so expensive?
posted by jacquilynne at 2:11 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
the pool is nice but like. the rest of it is so blah. the wine cellar looks like the times square sephora. do they have no fucking idea how loud a bowling alley is? why would it be IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HOUSE.
the velvet ropes in the living room are perfect for the mentality of the kind of people who would buy this place though.
posted by poffin boffin at 2:13 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
the velvet ropes in the living room are perfect for the mentality of the kind of people who would buy this place though.
posted by poffin boffin at 2:13 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
can now be yours for a cool $250 million.
Good taste not included.
posted by Kabanos at 2:19 PM on January 18, 2017
Good taste not included.
posted by Kabanos at 2:19 PM on January 18, 2017
Ray Smuckles is selling his place?
"Nothing else I could say would make more sense given what I own and what I am doing at this moment."
(I mean, I guess he does need a new gig now)
posted by Itaxpica at 2:19 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
"Nothing else I could say would make more sense given what I own and what I am doing at this moment."
(I mean, I guess he does need a new gig now)
posted by Itaxpica at 2:19 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
Drives me insane to know that for my house near Boston, I could have a castle in Eastern Europe.
Even though castles at that price level tend to be, um, fixer uppers.
posted by ocschwar at 2:29 PM on January 18, 2017
Even though castles at that price level tend to be, um, fixer uppers.
posted by ocschwar at 2:29 PM on January 18, 2017
I wonder if the guy who had sex with Airwolf knows about this.
Do what you do best, kind sir. For great justice!
posted by ocschwar at 2:32 PM on January 18, 2017
Do what you do best, kind sir. For great justice!
posted by ocschwar at 2:32 PM on January 18, 2017
who the fuck needs James Bond clipart murals in their private movie theater, ugh, come on
this is like the billionaire equivalent of your dad feverishly overdecorating your room at his new condo after the divorce
anyway if I owned this place I'd probably trip down the stainless steel floating staircase and die after pounding back too much extinguisher hooch
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:34 PM on January 18, 2017 [11 favorites]
this is like the billionaire equivalent of your dad feverishly overdecorating your room at his new condo after the divorce
anyway if I owned this place I'd probably trip down the stainless steel floating staircase and die after pounding back too much extinguisher hooch
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:34 PM on January 18, 2017 [11 favorites]
If I had 250mil I'd be commissioning an actual architect or such to build me a bespoke lair into the side of a hill. In the Shetland Islands.
Near Yell
or Mid Yell
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 2:45 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
Near Yell
or Mid Yell
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 2:45 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
I thought the Airwolf helicopter crashed in 1992 while working as an air ambulance in Germany. More detail here. What gives?
If you freeze-frame the VHS you can see that its only a model hitting the hillside and a fake explosion.
posted by biffa at 2:48 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
If you freeze-frame the VHS you can see that its only a model hitting the hillside and a fake explosion.
posted by biffa at 2:48 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
The kind of people who would pay $250 million for a house would also never buy this off the rack bullshit.
It strikes me as a new money tech bro thing. No lack of gauche there. As someone mentioned up thread: Notch as the exemplar.
posted by codacorolla at 2:49 PM on January 18, 2017
It strikes me as a new money tech bro thing. No lack of gauche there. As someone mentioned up thread: Notch as the exemplar.
posted by codacorolla at 2:49 PM on January 18, 2017
Blue Thunder or no sale.
Steal my line, will you? Fine.
Mmmm.... only comes with Airwolf? Maybe if it came with a VF-1.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:52 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Steal my line, will you? Fine.
Mmmm.... only comes with Airwolf? Maybe if it came with a VF-1.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:52 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I wonder if the guy who had sex with Airwolf knows about this.
Given all the random powertools, engines and other assorted mechanical junk on display in the video, I reckon there's a fair chance he designed this. And then fucked it. The whole house. I bet the place fucking reeks.
posted by howfar at 3:11 PM on January 18, 2017
Given all the random powertools, engines and other assorted mechanical junk on display in the video, I reckon there's a fair chance he designed this. And then fucked it. The whole house. I bet the place fucking reeks.
posted by howfar at 3:11 PM on January 18, 2017
" I don't have enough friends so if I owned that all those unused seats and candy walls would just make me feel sad all the time."
You'd make friends! Maybe not the friends you want, but thesycophants friends you deserve.
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place you'll be living in?
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place you'll be living in? you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year.
FTFY
I read stuff like this and my eye starts twitching and I start to think that a class war might not be the worst thing.
You prepare the torches. I'll be over here handing out pitchforks. Eat the rich.
posted by BlueHorse at 3:20 PM on January 18, 2017
You'd make friends! Maybe not the friends you want, but the
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place you'll be living in?
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place
FTFY
I read stuff like this and my eye starts twitching and I start to think that a class war might not be the worst thing.
You prepare the torches. I'll be over here handing out pitchforks. Eat the rich.
posted by BlueHorse at 3:20 PM on January 18, 2017
I hope there is a special platform where one can look over that awful-looking city and play the fiddle.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:27 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:27 PM on January 18, 2017
Lately when I see overpriced Los Angeles homes all I can think of is why, if you had enough money to buy one of those places, you would want to live in Los Angeles.
I'm with you. The only real reason you'd really want to live in LA is to be around everyone else who wants to live in LA. This means access to things like hobnobbing, night clubs, parties, people, sex, drugs and/or "lifestyle" crap in general.
If I had that kind of money I'd buy the biggest piece of mostly wild land trust land I could find somewhere in the PNW that allowed me to build a small cabin or work/art barn on it, do some solar and permaculture stuff, start a nice low impact garden, then set up a trust to pay the taxes and utilities and then I'd probably spend the most of the rest of my life living/camping outdoors.
That would leave at least 240 million left over. I could *maybe* spend another few million on photo gear, a recording studio crammed with new and vintage analog synths and other toys, a couple of really nice bicycles,.
In the end it would probably end up being one of those sorts of rather exclusive destination-based recording/media studios. The sort of place that a weird musical group or artist could retreat to for a few months to work on an album or project somewhere secluded. (These places exist and are actually a thing, and I want one.)
I would have no idea what to do with the rest of the proverbial 250 million except give it away and try to feed people and/or send them to school. I really have no fucking idea how people can accumulate that much wealth and still feel insecure or want more.
Perhaps some day "acquistional" will be listed in the DSM as a dangerous disease that requires intervention and treatment.
posted by loquacious at 3:36 PM on January 18, 2017 [10 favorites]
I'm with you. The only real reason you'd really want to live in LA is to be around everyone else who wants to live in LA. This means access to things like hobnobbing, night clubs, parties, people, sex, drugs and/or "lifestyle" crap in general.
If I had that kind of money I'd buy the biggest piece of mostly wild land trust land I could find somewhere in the PNW that allowed me to build a small cabin or work/art barn on it, do some solar and permaculture stuff, start a nice low impact garden, then set up a trust to pay the taxes and utilities and then I'd probably spend the most of the rest of my life living/camping outdoors.
That would leave at least 240 million left over. I could *maybe* spend another few million on photo gear, a recording studio crammed with new and vintage analog synths and other toys, a couple of really nice bicycles,.
In the end it would probably end up being one of those sorts of rather exclusive destination-based recording/media studios. The sort of place that a weird musical group or artist could retreat to for a few months to work on an album or project somewhere secluded. (These places exist and are actually a thing, and I want one.)
I would have no idea what to do with the rest of the proverbial 250 million except give it away and try to feed people and/or send them to school. I really have no fucking idea how people can accumulate that much wealth and still feel insecure or want more.
Perhaps some day "acquistional" will be listed in the DSM as a dangerous disease that requires intervention and treatment.
posted by loquacious at 3:36 PM on January 18, 2017 [10 favorites]
Eat the rich.
I don't wanna eat the rich: I suspect they (or at least the subset of rich who would buy this horror) are awfully greasy and indigestable. But I would like to help you with the pitchforks.
posted by easily confused at 3:39 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
I don't wanna eat the rich: I suspect they (or at least the subset of rich who would buy this horror) are awfully greasy and indigestable. But I would like to help you with the pitchforks.
posted by easily confused at 3:39 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
If you're going to ask the question, you are clearly not baller enough to be asking. Its in case your money fire gets out of hand.
Is that you, Kei$ha?
Nah, it's 50 Cent.
posted by fuse theorem at 3:53 PM on January 18, 2017
Is that you, Kei$ha?
Nah, it's 50 Cent.
posted by fuse theorem at 3:53 PM on January 18, 2017
the only cool part of this is the dolby atmos theatre but hey did you know they have those elsewhere too??? and you don't have to pay $250 million to see the new star wars at those theatres??? but then you would have to interact with the proles so i guess that's out
posted by burgerrr at 3:54 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by burgerrr at 3:54 PM on January 18, 2017
Eat the rich.
I don't wanna eat the rich: I suspect they … are awfully greasy and indigestible.
But the candy stuffing!
posted by Kabanos at 4:10 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
I don't wanna eat the rich: I suspect they … are awfully greasy and indigestible.
But the candy stuffing!
posted by Kabanos at 4:10 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
My favorite part is the Hermès power cutter at 5:50 in the video.
posted by Small Dollar at 4:11 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by Small Dollar at 4:11 PM on January 18, 2017
I live in Los Angeles, and if I suddenly had that much money, I'd just buy out more area near me so my friends that would like to live on the west side but can't afford it could, and I'd increase the already wonderful local social circle I have, that would in no way follow me to a chateau or remote cabin.
Some of us do actually like it here a lot, believe it or not...
posted by flaterik at 4:19 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
Some of us do actually like it here a lot, believe it or not...
posted by flaterik at 4:19 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
I was hoping for, like, a wall made of fused-together Jolly Ranchers or something. Maybe with some braces and glass for structural support, to keep it from running under its own weight, becoming sticky on exposure to moist air, or accumulating dust. Like stained glass, but with candy. A row of candy dispensers is just ugh, why even bother.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 4:55 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Spathe Cadet at 4:55 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
fuck it, I am an indifferent pâtissière but I own a candy thermometer and a couple of copper pots and for $200,000 I will build a fucking candy HOUSE for anyone who can pay. guaranteed edible, structurally sound, and big enough to both stand up and lie down in. that's a promise. you want a mattress made out of marshmallows, you pay a little extra. you won't be sorry
posted by queenofbithynia at 5:10 PM on January 18, 2017 [14 favorites]
posted by queenofbithynia at 5:10 PM on January 18, 2017 [14 favorites]
Baby balrog - that was really good. Good enough so I googled the source only for the link to take me back to this thread. Wow.
posted by blahblahblah at 5:40 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by blahblahblah at 5:40 PM on January 18, 2017
I know who buys this. I mean, I don't know him personally, but I know his type.
Its not actually a house at all.
Its a very carefully crafted playhouse and hotel. Its only used for entertaining and display, the owner wont live here except when he (and it is a he) is entertaining and displaying.
It is for playing in, not living- which is why its so concerned with toys and childhood fantasy (only 12 year old boys really want a Lamborghini or a candy wall) and he and his associates can retreat into childhood fantasy for a week or so when they are there. He wont spend more than a week or two there at a time.
He also already owns other entertainment and display vehicles- Cannes, New York City, London, maybe Zurich, there is a Villa (maybe not Lake Como but definitely Lombardy) and an alpine place.
Each of these places is very important to his business, because they have different crowds that come to be entertained, and business is done.
His place in London, for example, is surprisingly tastefully furnished, certainly in relative comparison to this one. He didn't furnish it, the developer did. Its probably at 1 Hyde Park.
He has no interest in labouring over the interior design of the property, in stark comparison to the labour he put into designing his jet. The jet interior though is more a question of what you can get away with in a small space, so it was much less about design and more about decision making, and he is very, very good at decision making.
Also, he won't pay $250m for it (that's hilarious) but he will pay north of $147m as it is important to the story of the place that it's the most expensive.
He is also relatively happy, at times, which may surprise you, although like all humans he suffers doubts and inadequacies. He even despises the money, very occasionally, which may or may not surprise you. He thinks of giving some away, but that is a surprisingly slippery slope.
posted by Plutocratte at 5:44 PM on January 18, 2017 [15 favorites]
Its not actually a house at all.
Its a very carefully crafted playhouse and hotel. Its only used for entertaining and display, the owner wont live here except when he (and it is a he) is entertaining and displaying.
It is for playing in, not living- which is why its so concerned with toys and childhood fantasy (only 12 year old boys really want a Lamborghini or a candy wall) and he and his associates can retreat into childhood fantasy for a week or so when they are there. He wont spend more than a week or two there at a time.
He also already owns other entertainment and display vehicles- Cannes, New York City, London, maybe Zurich, there is a Villa (maybe not Lake Como but definitely Lombardy) and an alpine place.
Each of these places is very important to his business, because they have different crowds that come to be entertained, and business is done.
His place in London, for example, is surprisingly tastefully furnished, certainly in relative comparison to this one. He didn't furnish it, the developer did. Its probably at 1 Hyde Park.
He has no interest in labouring over the interior design of the property, in stark comparison to the labour he put into designing his jet. The jet interior though is more a question of what you can get away with in a small space, so it was much less about design and more about decision making, and he is very, very good at decision making.
Also, he won't pay $250m for it (that's hilarious) but he will pay north of $147m as it is important to the story of the place that it's the most expensive.
He is also relatively happy, at times, which may surprise you, although like all humans he suffers doubts and inadequacies. He even despises the money, very occasionally, which may or may not surprise you. He thinks of giving some away, but that is a surprisingly slippery slope.
posted by Plutocratte at 5:44 PM on January 18, 2017 [15 favorites]
Revolution Day One Ground Zero
posted by mygoditsbob at 5:50 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by mygoditsbob at 5:50 PM on January 18, 2017
He even despises the money, very occasionally, which may or may not surprise you.
oh, the money, sure. it's classic projection, right? or not projection, whatever the term is for the developmental stage when a little kid runs into a table and bonks himself and scolds it for being a naughty table that hurt him.
He thinks of giving some away, but that is a surprisingly slippery slope.
jesus wept. I don't doubt you that men like this justify themselves in such hilarious ways, but would that their fears were true. would that one casual act of charity doomed you to slide down into the bottomless pit of human decency, from which no man emerges. you'd think they'd notice that people emerge from that pit all the time with barely any marks on them from their descent into the unspeakable.
posted by queenofbithynia at 6:01 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
oh, the money, sure. it's classic projection, right? or not projection, whatever the term is for the developmental stage when a little kid runs into a table and bonks himself and scolds it for being a naughty table that hurt him.
He thinks of giving some away, but that is a surprisingly slippery slope.
jesus wept. I don't doubt you that men like this justify themselves in such hilarious ways, but would that their fears were true. would that one casual act of charity doomed you to slide down into the bottomless pit of human decency, from which no man emerges. you'd think they'd notice that people emerge from that pit all the time with barely any marks on them from their descent into the unspeakable.
posted by queenofbithynia at 6:01 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
I'mma build a house with a giant ball pit but instead of regular plastic balls it will use dog treat balls filled with quaaludes and nacho cheez combos. It will have a dong wall and a working animatronic King Kong. It will have solid gold skeeball and a working Fisto from Fallout:New Vegas. It will have a custom Lamborrari that is so fast that it requires The World's Largest Spoiler and can never be driven. WARNING, it will say, THIS VEHICLE IS INVARIABLY FATAL. All knobs will be re-engineered at great expense to go to 12.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:20 PM on January 18, 2017 [11 favorites]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:20 PM on January 18, 2017 [11 favorites]
I would love to see a couple of creative people who are really clever and well experienced with California's squatters' rights laws take this place over for a few months while they fight their eviction in the courts. You know, for art.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:09 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:09 PM on January 18, 2017 [2 favorites]
Asking ain't getting.
Lately when I see overpriced Los Angeles homes all I can think of is why, if you had enough money to buy one of those places, you would want to live in Los Angeles. (And I used to live there, and liked it fine.) Why not buy, say, a French chateaux built in 1628, and use the spare $235 million to fund private jet travel and the renting of penthouse hotel suites to suit your business needs?
You're assuming that the buyer would not be buying both.
It is for playing in, not living
Mostly it's for parking money. Ditto the cars. Ditto art work. It's a bubble again, of course, from what I read mostly Chinese money trying to get out of China before the party is over and putting the dough in whatever solid investment vehicles they can. Well, after eight years of zero interest rates, this sort of thing is bound to happen. Lousy for docile savers, great for banks.
posted by IndigoJones at 7:28 PM on January 18, 2017
Lately when I see overpriced Los Angeles homes all I can think of is why, if you had enough money to buy one of those places, you would want to live in Los Angeles. (And I used to live there, and liked it fine.) Why not buy, say, a French chateaux built in 1628, and use the spare $235 million to fund private jet travel and the renting of penthouse hotel suites to suit your business needs?
You're assuming that the buyer would not be buying both.
It is for playing in, not living
Mostly it's for parking money. Ditto the cars. Ditto art work. It's a bubble again, of course, from what I read mostly Chinese money trying to get out of China before the party is over and putting the dough in whatever solid investment vehicles they can. Well, after eight years of zero interest rates, this sort of thing is bound to happen. Lousy for docile savers, great for banks.
posted by IndigoJones at 7:28 PM on January 18, 2017
dong wall
...
...horizontally or vertically arrayed?
posted by quaking fajita at 7:31 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
...
...horizontally or vertically arrayed?
posted by quaking fajita at 7:31 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'm gonna buy it and knock it down. Put up a 140sf tiny house in its place.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 7:32 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 7:32 PM on January 18, 2017 [4 favorites]
My dream house? Surprisingly limited in space, and much of it taken up with plants, maybe a few chickens. But the view can't be beat. I'd invite everyone, but travel options are extraordinarily limited. Just look straight up, and wave.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:38 PM on January 18, 2017
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:38 PM on January 18, 2017
dog treat balls filled with quaaludes and nacho cheez combos.
I like the principle of excess but all the dogs I ever met would be happy with just the quaaludes or just the combos. that's why there aren't any dog billionaires on the Forbes lists, dogs are too easy to please and that is a hindrance in the way of rich person character formation.
assuming the other thing was a typo for KONG wall and this is a fantasy house for dogs. which I do assume.
posted by queenofbithynia at 7:39 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I like the principle of excess but all the dogs I ever met would be happy with just the quaaludes or just the combos. that's why there aren't any dog billionaires on the Forbes lists, dogs are too easy to please and that is a hindrance in the way of rich person character formation.
assuming the other thing was a typo for KONG wall and this is a fantasy house for dogs. which I do assume.
posted by queenofbithynia at 7:39 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
He thinks of giving some away, but that is a surprisingly slippery slope.
jesus wept. I don't doubt you that men like this justify themselves in such hilarious ways ...
To be honest I can see it. I don't agree with his reasons, but I can understand them. Anyone who, as a generous child, decided to give away bits of sandwich to a seagull can understand them. First you throw one crumb, and two seagulls appear -- another, then four appear -- then eight, then sixteen ... Human beings aren't seagulls, but they act like that around large sums of money. This doesn't excuse him from working on charity efforts, but I do believe it would be hard work to do, a job in itself. And when anything is hard work, human nature is to put it off.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:39 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
jesus wept. I don't doubt you that men like this justify themselves in such hilarious ways ...
To be honest I can see it. I don't agree with his reasons, but I can understand them. Anyone who, as a generous child, decided to give away bits of sandwich to a seagull can understand them. First you throw one crumb, and two seagulls appear -- another, then four appear -- then eight, then sixteen ... Human beings aren't seagulls, but they act like that around large sums of money. This doesn't excuse him from working on charity efforts, but I do believe it would be hard work to do, a job in itself. And when anything is hard work, human nature is to put it off.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:39 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
Candy walls are old and tired. Chocolate rivers are where it's at now.
The waterfall mixes your friggin chocolate, people.
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:13 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
The waterfall mixes your friggin chocolate, people.
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:13 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
but I do believe it would be hard work to do, a job in itself.
but that's what charitable donations are, is giving money to organizations full of people who already have that job, so they can worry about it for you. that's the beauty of it. maybe the super-rich are beguiled into thinking it's not worth doing unless they start their own foundation with their name on everything. but there are more than enough worthwhile nonprofits to fund and cultural institutions to endow without needing to start another one, no matter how much money you've got. and if rich people don't know what the worthwhile ones are due to never having thought about it, they can hire an idea man to do all the thinking for them. I'm available for that seeing as my candy house architect career is in a lull right now.
how can I give away money while staying exactly as filthily rich as I am now and maximizing every possible tax deduction and never being asked for anything I don't want to give is a different problem for a hypothetical awful rich man and one I will not help him with. but as for incessant demands, if I can cope with all these goddamn ACLU membership renewal notices filling up my mailbox all the time then so can Candy Wall Carnegie Rockefeller.
posted by queenofbithynia at 8:18 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
but that's what charitable donations are, is giving money to organizations full of people who already have that job, so they can worry about it for you. that's the beauty of it. maybe the super-rich are beguiled into thinking it's not worth doing unless they start their own foundation with their name on everything. but there are more than enough worthwhile nonprofits to fund and cultural institutions to endow without needing to start another one, no matter how much money you've got. and if rich people don't know what the worthwhile ones are due to never having thought about it, they can hire an idea man to do all the thinking for them. I'm available for that seeing as my candy house architect career is in a lull right now.
how can I give away money while staying exactly as filthily rich as I am now and maximizing every possible tax deduction and never being asked for anything I don't want to give is a different problem for a hypothetical awful rich man and one I will not help him with. but as for incessant demands, if I can cope with all these goddamn ACLU membership renewal notices filling up my mailbox all the time then so can Candy Wall Carnegie Rockefeller.
posted by queenofbithynia at 8:18 PM on January 18, 2017 [5 favorites]
$250 million and not one laser cannon or crocodile pit in sight. P'shaw.
posted by Wretch729 at 8:56 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Wretch729 at 8:56 PM on January 18, 2017 [3 favorites]
BlueHorse: "" I don't have enough friends so if I owned that all those unused seats and candy walls would just make me feel sad all the time."
You'd make friends! Maybe not the friends you want, but thesycophants friends you deserve.
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place you'll be living in?
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place you'll be living in? you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year.
FTFY
I read stuff like this and my eye starts twitching and I start to think that a class war might not be the worst thing.
You prepare the torches. I'll be over here handing out pitchforks. Eat the rich."
I am down. I am poor.
And rather peckish.
posted by Samizdata at 9:29 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
You'd make friends! Maybe not the friends you want, but the
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place you'll be living in?
Why put that kind of money into a yacht that you'll use for maybe a couple of weeks a year when you can put it into the place
FTFY
I read stuff like this and my eye starts twitching and I start to think that a class war might not be the worst thing.
You prepare the torches. I'll be over here handing out pitchforks. Eat the rich."
I am down. I am poor.
And rather peckish.
posted by Samizdata at 9:29 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
queenofbithynia: "fuck it, I am an indifferent pâtissière but I own a candy thermometer and a couple of copper pots and for $200,000 I will build a fucking candy HOUSE for anyone who can pay. guaranteed edible, structurally sound, and big enough to both stand up and lie down in. that's a promise. you want a mattress made out of marshmallows, you pay a little extra. you won't be sorry"
I would. Sometimes I get sweaty when I sleep. What about a marzipan Airwolf/Blue Thunder hybrid?
posted by Samizdata at 9:32 PM on January 18, 2017
I would. Sometimes I get sweaty when I sleep. What about a marzipan Airwolf/Blue Thunder hybrid?
posted by Samizdata at 9:32 PM on January 18, 2017
...horizontally or vertically arrayed?
Well, they're basically cylindrical, so I suppose they'd more or less naturally fall into a hexagonal pattern? Like a honeycomb, but with dildos.
Oh wait.. you mean mounted so they point sideways, or point up? Madam, they poke out. Wouldn't be much use otherwise, hmm?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:08 PM on January 18, 2017
Well, they're basically cylindrical, so I suppose they'd more or less naturally fall into a hexagonal pattern? Like a honeycomb, but with dildos.
Oh wait.. you mean mounted so they point sideways, or point up? Madam, they poke out. Wouldn't be much use otherwise, hmm?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:08 PM on January 18, 2017
I can't imagine the crushing loneliness that bowling alone in your own four lane alley, or watching a movie alone in that theater would cause. Who could a person like this really bowl or watch a movie with? It's amazing the poor choices people will make when given the power to make them.
posted by Blasdelb at 11:53 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Blasdelb at 11:53 PM on January 18, 2017 [1 favorite]
I don't know what you all are so wound up about, it's barely worth the price of this old painting of two guys playing cards.
posted by ardgedee at 3:26 AM on January 19, 2017
posted by ardgedee at 3:26 AM on January 19, 2017
If you followed curbed for the reviews of high end listing in whatever suburbs surround your nearest city you will see all kinds of these places. The unifying feature, aside from tackiness, is how they end up selling for 1/2 to 1/3 of what they cost when the first owner moves out.
People with more money than sense want to create their own tackiness. Hell nobody even wants to buy Michael Jordan's mansion and it was owned by Michael Jordan and people will murder each other over a limited edition version of sneakers!
posted by srboisvert at 4:52 AM on January 19, 2017
People with more money than sense want to create their own tackiness. Hell nobody even wants to buy Michael Jordan's mansion and it was owned by Michael Jordan and people will murder each other over a limited edition version of sneakers!
posted by srboisvert at 4:52 AM on January 19, 2017
I think this would make an amazing luxury resort hotel.
12 bedrooms, $250M, aim to amortize over 20 years, so you want $1M revenue/room/year, so you could cover amortization and maintenance and show a profit if you rent rooms for $5000/night.
That's an expensive hotel room as a hotel room, but if your cover includes access to all the toys — all you can eat jelly beans, bespoke film showings, a spin in the supercars, the bowling alley and spa — then it's the sort of thing I can see some rich-but-not-billionaire folks paying for; think in terms of a honeymoon weekend for the sort of folks who can afford to buy a sub-orbital ticket with Virgin Galactic or Blue Origin, or fly first class internationally, but not buy their own biz jet or a flight to the ISS.
But I agree it's tacky, and as somewhere to live rather than somewhere to visit briefly and boggle at? Feh.
posted by cstross at 6:23 AM on January 19, 2017
12 bedrooms, $250M, aim to amortize over 20 years, so you want $1M revenue/room/year, so you could cover amortization and maintenance and show a profit if you rent rooms for $5000/night.
That's an expensive hotel room as a hotel room, but if your cover includes access to all the toys — all you can eat jelly beans, bespoke film showings, a spin in the supercars, the bowling alley and spa — then it's the sort of thing I can see some rich-but-not-billionaire folks paying for; think in terms of a honeymoon weekend for the sort of folks who can afford to buy a sub-orbital ticket with Virgin Galactic or Blue Origin, or fly first class internationally, but not buy their own biz jet or a flight to the ISS.
But I agree it's tacky, and as somewhere to live rather than somewhere to visit briefly and boggle at? Feh.
posted by cstross at 6:23 AM on January 19, 2017
Funnest AirBnB ever.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:32 AM on January 19, 2017
posted by jacquilynne at 6:32 AM on January 19, 2017
Watching this really emphasizes that capitalism has really equalized things in the sense that if I had all that money it basically means I could buy more of the same tacky crap I can buy right now. Huh? A wall of candy? not exactly out of my reach, but why do I need that much candy? This is a woefully unimpressive display filled with tacky crap honestly. I guess you are paying for location?
posted by charles148 at 6:52 AM on January 19, 2017
posted by charles148 at 6:52 AM on January 19, 2017
It's amazing the poor choices people will make when given the power to make them.
Notch seems to be as deeply unhappy as ever. As well as being freer to be irresponsibly awful and hollow.
posted by bonehead at 7:28 AM on January 19, 2017
Notch seems to be as deeply unhappy as ever. As well as being freer to be irresponsibly awful and hollow.
posted by bonehead at 7:28 AM on January 19, 2017
I wish the video had started about ten minutes earlier. It would be just her, sitting alone in her non-functional helicopter, surrounded by all of her staff.
For all ten minutes.
posted by crumbly at 8:16 AM on January 19, 2017
For all ten minutes.
posted by crumbly at 8:16 AM on January 19, 2017
So when I move in....
The kitchen looks pretty cool.
All the cars? Toss em.
All the mechanical junk. Toss it.
The helicopter will only stay if I could make it into one of those kiddie ride you find at the map.
Pool: Yeah nice pool.
So many chairs. So, so many chairs. The chairs freak me out. I would get rid of half of them then I would play a game where I have to sit in a new chair each day, just to make sure they get used.
Candy wall...no it's gone.
Movie theatre: Cool but no good unless their are couches, with lots of blankets.
Art. That's art? Would toss it all and have a whole lot of fun replacing it with works from local artists. Things I like with not one care about prestige.
Do something with all of the space after getting rid of all the chairs. Best workshop shop space ever. Best computer gaming, tech room space ever.
Get completely weirded out by having 'staff' though having somebody make me a cup of coffee in the morning would be nice. Have to keep ones on that clean though because there's no way I'm vaccumming that place. Their pay would go way up because their is no way I would expect someone to clean my crap without being royally compensated. No, just no.
So many screens. No idea what I would do with that many screens. And I like screens! It boggles me.
Replace the stairs with something that doesn't look like it would kill me.
More blankets and pillows. A home is not a home unless there are blankets and pillows every where.
Have the best Metafilter meetups.
posted by Jalliah at 10:10 AM on January 19, 2017
The kitchen looks pretty cool.
All the cars? Toss em.
All the mechanical junk. Toss it.
The helicopter will only stay if I could make it into one of those kiddie ride you find at the map.
Pool: Yeah nice pool.
So many chairs. So, so many chairs. The chairs freak me out. I would get rid of half of them then I would play a game where I have to sit in a new chair each day, just to make sure they get used.
Candy wall...no it's gone.
Movie theatre: Cool but no good unless their are couches, with lots of blankets.
Art. That's art? Would toss it all and have a whole lot of fun replacing it with works from local artists. Things I like with not one care about prestige.
Do something with all of the space after getting rid of all the chairs. Best workshop shop space ever. Best computer gaming, tech room space ever.
Get completely weirded out by having 'staff' though having somebody make me a cup of coffee in the morning would be nice. Have to keep ones on that clean though because there's no way I'm vaccumming that place. Their pay would go way up because their is no way I would expect someone to clean my crap without being royally compensated. No, just no.
So many screens. No idea what I would do with that many screens. And I like screens! It boggles me.
Replace the stairs with something that doesn't look like it would kill me.
More blankets and pillows. A home is not a home unless there are blankets and pillows every where.
Have the best Metafilter meetups.
posted by Jalliah at 10:10 AM on January 19, 2017
I have an aunt who works somewhere that involves selling multimillion dollar condos, and one day my dad (who worked as a carpenter for decades) went to meet her for lunch. He was STUNNED by how shoddy the construction was, even in the most public places, where you might presumably make an effort to impress. It was all gaudy and faux-opulent, but made of substandard materials and built with completely substandard work. He said some of the doors weren’t even level. It was “measure once, cut twice” level junk.
The money spent on these obscenities doesn’t even buy you a quality product. It buys you a receipt, to tell people how much you spent.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 11:08 AM on January 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
The money spent on these obscenities doesn’t even buy you a quality product. It buys you a receipt, to tell people how much you spent.
posted by a fiendish thingy at 11:08 AM on January 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
I have an aunt who works somewhere that involves selling multimillion dollar condos, and one day my dad (who worked as a carpenter for decades) went to meet her for lunch. He was STUNNED by how shoddy the construction was, even in the most public places, where you might presumably make an effort to impress. It was all gaudy and faux-opulent, but made of substandard materials and built with completely substandard work. He said some of the doors weren’t even level. It was “measure once, cut twice” level junk.
The money spent on these obscenities doesn’t even buy you a quality product. It buys you a receipt, to tell people how much you spent.
One time I ended up in a partially constructed subdivision where the 'expensive' houses were being built. Most were at the point where you could still see all the insides. A couple were finished to the point where at least part of what everyone would see was done and they were stunning. Beautiful.
I was with a couple of guys who had been contractors in previous lives and they went it fits as they walked around. Code, violation after code violation. Supporting studs cut into for electrical work and pipes. Subpar materials. The wrong size of materials, like subflooring where they said that within five years that super expensive tile was going to break from warping. Drywall that wasn't sealed properly but painting had already started.
It's all about the surface. As long as it 'looks' good on the outside.
posted by Jalliah at 12:45 PM on January 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
The money spent on these obscenities doesn’t even buy you a quality product. It buys you a receipt, to tell people how much you spent.
One time I ended up in a partially constructed subdivision where the 'expensive' houses were being built. Most were at the point where you could still see all the insides. A couple were finished to the point where at least part of what everyone would see was done and they were stunning. Beautiful.
I was with a couple of guys who had been contractors in previous lives and they went it fits as they walked around. Code, violation after code violation. Supporting studs cut into for electrical work and pipes. Subpar materials. The wrong size of materials, like subflooring where they said that within five years that super expensive tile was going to break from warping. Drywall that wasn't sealed properly but painting had already started.
It's all about the surface. As long as it 'looks' good on the outside.
posted by Jalliah at 12:45 PM on January 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Lately when I see overpriced Los Angeles homes all I can think of is why, if you had enough money to buy one of those places, you would want to live in Los Angeles.
Seasonal residence.
posted by parliboy at 12:50 PM on January 19, 2017
Seasonal residence.
posted by parliboy at 12:50 PM on January 19, 2017
Lately when I see overpriced Los Angeles homes all I can think of is why, if you had enough money to buy one of those places, you would want to live in Los Angeles.
Mostly for proximity to other rich and famous people I assume.
posted by GuyZero at 1:09 PM on January 19, 2017
Mostly for proximity to other rich and famous people I assume.
posted by GuyZero at 1:09 PM on January 19, 2017
This seems as good a place as any to say that Notch paid my friend Eric six figures to DJ his birthday party in this obscene house. His wife told me all about it last year, and confirmed that the candy wall was indeed stale by the time they visited the house (so, around Memorial Day weekend/June 1 of 2015, actually).
Damn, RIP candy wall awesomeness. I can't imagine that restocking it counts as "staging" from the Realtor's perspective.
P.S. Eric's DJ name is Maceo Plex.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:50 PM on January 19, 2017
Damn, RIP candy wall awesomeness. I can't imagine that restocking it counts as "staging" from the Realtor's perspective.
P.S. Eric's DJ name is Maceo Plex.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:50 PM on January 19, 2017
Welp nevermind they just confirmed this is a different house
Really, LA? You need two of these fucking shit show houses with candy walls???? I guess if the American Horror Story: Hotel vampire kids get bored they can go here instead ffs
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:02 PM on January 19, 2017
Really, LA? You need two of these fucking shit show houses with candy walls???? I guess if the American Horror Story: Hotel vampire kids get bored they can go here instead ffs
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:02 PM on January 19, 2017
Jalliah: "So when I move in....
The kitchen looks pretty cool.
All the cars? Toss em.
All the mechanical junk. Toss it.
The helicopter will only stay if I could make it into one of those kiddie ride you find at the map.
Pool: Yeah nice pool.
So many chairs. So, so many chairs. The chairs freak me out. I would get rid of half of them then I would play a game where I have to sit in a new chair each day, just to make sure they get used.
Candy wall...no it's gone.
Movie theatre: Cool but no good unless their are couches, with lots of blankets.
Art. That's art? Would toss it all and have a whole lot of fun replacing it with works from local artists. Things I like with not one care about prestige.
Do something with all of the space after getting rid of all the chairs. Best workshop shop space ever. Best computer gaming, tech room space ever.
Get completely weirded out by having 'staff' though having somebody make me a cup of coffee in the morning would be nice. Have to keep ones on that clean though because there's no way I'm vaccumming that place. Their pay would go way up because their is no way I would expect someone to clean my crap without being royally compensated. No, just no.
So many screens. No idea what I would do with that many screens. And I like screens! It boggles me.
Replace the stairs with something that doesn't look like it would kill me.
More blankets and pillows. A home is not a home unless there are blankets and pillows every where.
Have the best Metafilter meetups."
Seriously. Keep the candy wall FOR the meetups.
Seriously.
posted by Samizdata at 10:28 PM on January 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
The kitchen looks pretty cool.
All the cars? Toss em.
All the mechanical junk. Toss it.
The helicopter will only stay if I could make it into one of those kiddie ride you find at the map.
Pool: Yeah nice pool.
So many chairs. So, so many chairs. The chairs freak me out. I would get rid of half of them then I would play a game where I have to sit in a new chair each day, just to make sure they get used.
Candy wall...no it's gone.
Movie theatre: Cool but no good unless their are couches, with lots of blankets.
Art. That's art? Would toss it all and have a whole lot of fun replacing it with works from local artists. Things I like with not one care about prestige.
Do something with all of the space after getting rid of all the chairs. Best workshop shop space ever. Best computer gaming, tech room space ever.
Get completely weirded out by having 'staff' though having somebody make me a cup of coffee in the morning would be nice. Have to keep ones on that clean though because there's no way I'm vaccumming that place. Their pay would go way up because their is no way I would expect someone to clean my crap without being royally compensated. No, just no.
So many screens. No idea what I would do with that many screens. And I like screens! It boggles me.
Replace the stairs with something that doesn't look like it would kill me.
More blankets and pillows. A home is not a home unless there are blankets and pillows every where.
Have the best Metafilter meetups."
Seriously. Keep the candy wall FOR the meetups.
Seriously.
posted by Samizdata at 10:28 PM on January 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
completely uninterested as there is absolutely no information as to the one of the most important details, the porcelain throne.
Dude seriously, I cannot take a bathroom in a superyacht OR mansion seriously unless it has a bidet or at least a toilet seat bidet.
What kind of ultra rich person wipes their own arse? Not me, if it were me...because I'm not rich :(
posted by pizzakats708 at 8:18 AM on January 20, 2017
Dude seriously, I cannot take a bathroom in a superyacht OR mansion seriously unless it has a bidet or at least a toilet seat bidet.
What kind of ultra rich person wipes their own arse? Not me, if it were me...because I'm not rich :(
posted by pizzakats708 at 8:18 AM on January 20, 2017
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posted by Spacelegoman at 11:31 AM on January 18, 2017 [48 favorites]