There was no putting the jelly back in the jar.
March 21, 2017 10:42 PM Subscribe
So my peanut allergy was directly related to my inability to shoot free throws?
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:08 PM on March 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:08 PM on March 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
I love this.
And I don't even care about basketball.
posted by desuetude at 11:26 PM on March 21, 2017 [20 favorites]
And I don't even care about basketball.
posted by desuetude at 11:26 PM on March 21, 2017 [20 favorites]
The writer says 400 calories like that's a lot of calories for someone about to play a game of professional basketball.
posted by Space Coyote at 11:31 PM on March 21, 2017 [39 favorites]
posted by Space Coyote at 11:31 PM on March 21, 2017 [39 favorites]
I sometimes think I'm a weirdo - I love peanut butter. I love toast and bread. I loathe jelly. Give me extra crunchy peanut butter on toast and I'm happy.
Maybe that's why I was better at football and hockey. (who am I kidding - I was terrible at those too... just not nearly as bad as basketball)
posted by drewbage1847 at 11:36 PM on March 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
Maybe that's why I was better at football and hockey. (who am I kidding - I was terrible at those too... just not nearly as bad as basketball)
posted by drewbage1847 at 11:36 PM on March 21, 2017 [2 favorites]
Not surprised it was an Aussie who played the part of PB&J-denying villain. Growing up in my part of Sydney the closest I saw to that combination on a sandwich with any regularity was peanut butter and honey, which I frankly like a lot more (I still eat them [on multigrain bread]). The fruity flavour notes of jam/jelly taste gross with peanut butter, in my opinion.
Curious what other non-American MeFites' attitudes to the PB&J are.
posted by Panthalassa at 11:42 PM on March 21, 2017 [4 favorites]
Curious what other non-American MeFites' attitudes to the PB&J are.
posted by Panthalassa at 11:42 PM on March 21, 2017 [4 favorites]
My mom didn't buy jelly growing up, so I grew up with just peanut butter sandwiches. But this is such a cute read!
posted by yueliang at 11:48 PM on March 21, 2017
posted by yueliang at 11:48 PM on March 21, 2017
I have PB&J (or, preferably, PB&B, all whole-grain bread with at least 3 grams of dietary fiber per serving) for breakfast most mornings, with the blessing of the dietitian at my doctor's office.
I started out thinking the article wouldn't hold me for more than a paragraph or two, because I'm not interested in sports at all, but it turned out to be a real page-turner!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:02 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
I started out thinking the article wouldn't hold me for more than a paragraph or two, because I'm not interested in sports at all, but it turned out to be a real page-turner!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:02 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
I eat peanut butter and mustard sandwiches, but that is not the point. The important thing to always remember when making a pb&j is that the peanut butter goes on one piece of bread and the jelly the other piece and then they are joined. Putting the jelly on top of the peanut butter (as my ex did) is a low level crime against humanity.
posted by AugustWest at 12:07 AM on March 22, 2017 [28 favorites]
posted by AugustWest at 12:07 AM on March 22, 2017 [28 favorites]
I've always been told that peanut butter and bread by themselves don't make a complete protien (they each don't contain the essential collection of the various amino acids a human body needs).
Combined together, they do provide a complete protien. Add some fruit (jelly), and you have a decent meal.
(Each meal by itself doesn't have to have all the required amino acids as long as you eventually get them during the day, but why not get them all together if it tastes good?).
posted by eye of newt at 12:08 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Combined together, they do provide a complete protien. Add some fruit (jelly), and you have a decent meal.
(Each meal by itself doesn't have to have all the required amino acids as long as you eventually get them during the day, but why not get them all together if it tastes good?).
posted by eye of newt at 12:08 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I adore pb&j and also basketball, so this is relevant to my interests. But, like...you can make a reasonably good sandwich with peanut butter and fresh strawberry slices or smushed raspberries. That's what I feed my kids. Surely that with sugar-free peanut butter would have been a reasonable compromise, rather than just banning the sandwiches outright?
posted by potrzebie at 12:19 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by potrzebie at 12:19 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
This is adorable. PB&J is just so wholesome and all-American.
posted by sleeping bear at 12:31 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by sleeping bear at 12:31 AM on March 22, 2017
If you are on low carb, do not read that article unless you want your cravings triggered. : )
posted by Beholder at 12:33 AM on March 22, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by Beholder at 12:33 AM on March 22, 2017 [10 favorites]
Love peanut butter, love jelly, love basketball. IMy bracket was temporarily first, but then Villanova lost, then Duke lost. At least I have PBJs to console myself. (We never used and)
posted by Cranberry at 12:33 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by Cranberry at 12:33 AM on March 22, 2017
Second thought: If peanut butter is fattening, and jelly is largely sugar, how come Kevin Garnett is so skinny?
posted by Cranberry at 12:35 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Cranberry at 12:35 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Here's why I hate the NBA - The Commissioner is a strawberry man. Any REAL sports enthusiast that isn't just out to milk the fans by ridiculously high ticket, concession, PPV, and merch prices would go grape.
posted by Samizdata at 12:39 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Samizdata at 12:39 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
Jelly is a tool of the devil. Peanut butter on bread is more than enough sandwich for anyone. Unless, of course you like your peanut butter creamy, in which case you deserve to be put in the sulfur mines.
posted by Literaryhero at 1:00 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Literaryhero at 1:00 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
how come Kevin Garnett is so skinny
The whole "professional athlete whose life primarily consists of playing sports or preparing to do so" probably helps. See also, Michael Phelps' diet.
posted by Panjandrum at 1:06 AM on March 22, 2017 [17 favorites]
The whole "professional athlete whose life primarily consists of playing sports or preparing to do so" probably helps. See also, Michael Phelps' diet.
posted by Panjandrum at 1:06 AM on March 22, 2017 [17 favorites]
Literaryhero: "Jelly is a tool of the devil. Peanut butter on bread is more than enough sandwich for anyone. Unless, of course you like your peanut butter creamy, in which case you deserve to be put in the sulfur mines."
Wow. So all those years of listening to rock and roll has apparently led me straight to Satanism. What is the dogmatic stance on fluffernutter sandwiches?
posted by Samizdata at 1:36 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Wow. So all those years of listening to rock and roll has apparently led me straight to Satanism. What is the dogmatic stance on fluffernutter sandwiches?
posted by Samizdata at 1:36 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Ok, I'll do it...
Metafilter : Jelly is a tool of the devil.
Is anyone collecting these???
Also: PB&J, Yay, BB, meh.
Now the Elvis, (PB, Butter, Banana, Jelly) is something else entirely.
posted by djrock3k at 2:02 AM on March 22, 2017
Metafilter : Jelly is a tool of the devil.
Is anyone collecting these???
Also: PB&J, Yay, BB, meh.
Now the Elvis, (PB, Butter, Banana, Jelly) is something else entirely.
posted by djrock3k at 2:02 AM on March 22, 2017
I am not well acquainted enough with fluffernutter to say either way, but on a personal level fluff freaks me out for some reason.
posted by Literaryhero at 2:52 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Literaryhero at 2:52 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Samizdata, we make strawberry-rhubarb jam, and I much prefer it over grape jelly....but then maybe there is a jelly/jam choice that the article failed to examine!
posted by wenestvedt at 2:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by wenestvedt at 2:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Jelly back in the Jar? This couldn't possibly be about...
oh. it is.
Outlawed from almost every school lunch from Maine to California, but welcomed with open arms by the NBA ... and spun into an over the top expression of regional excellence.
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:10 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
oh. it is.
Outlawed from almost every school lunch from Maine to California, but welcomed with open arms by the NBA ... and spun into an over the top expression of regional excellence.
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:10 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
PB&Mayo.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:22 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 3:22 AM on March 22, 2017
I eat peanut butter and mustard sandwiches, but that is not the point.
Oh, but it is. Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Tart and Salty. You are not alone.
Meetings every other Thu. BYOPB&M
posted by eclectist at 3:25 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
Oh, but it is. Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Tart and Salty. You are not alone.
Meetings every other Thu. BYOPB&M
posted by eclectist at 3:25 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
My grandfather introduced me to the sandwich: chunky peanut butter spread thickly on both bits of toast, slice of ham, raw onion slices. It turns out to be a variation on Hemingway's Mount Everest Special. It's delicious.
posted by chavenet at 3:51 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 3:51 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Second thought: If peanut butter is fattening, and jelly is largely sugar, how come Kevin Garnett is so skinny?
Roger Murdock: [breaking character]
The hell I don't! LISTEN, KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night! Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!posted by mikelieman at 4:02 AM on March 22, 2017 [11 favorites]
Thickly-spread peanut butter with either honey or apricot jam, that's the only way to go. All else is barbarity.
posted by easily confused at 4:21 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by easily confused at 4:21 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Peanut butter and jalapeño jelly is really good.
posted by Ideefixe at 4:25 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Ideefixe at 4:25 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Almond butter on dark bread, with a little hot sauce.
I have a lot of opinions about sandwiches.
posted by box at 5:03 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I have a lot of opinions about sandwiches.
posted by box at 5:03 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Jelly isn't spreadable where I live, but PB and Nutella is a superior option anyway.
posted by biffa at 5:11 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by biffa at 5:11 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I eat peanut butter and mustard sandwiches, but that is not the point.
Oh, but it is. Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Tart and Salty. You are not alone.
Meetings every other Thu. BYOPB&M
Peanut butter and green olives, representing!
And I was about to comment that I miss seeing those jars of peanut butter and jelly stripes in the same jar, but then I had to go look up the name ("Goober Grape" and "Goober Strawberry") and apparently they are still for sale and my brain is just erasing them from my field of vision because it knows I'd buy them and lose all my grown-up cred otherwise. Now I'm wondering what other fun childhood products still exist without me realizing it - next week's shopping list is going to be full of things like Giggle Noodle Soup and that weird squirty blue butter ...
posted by DingoMutt at 5:22 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Oh, but it is. Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Tart and Salty. You are not alone.
Meetings every other Thu. BYOPB&M
Peanut butter and green olives, representing!
And I was about to comment that I miss seeing those jars of peanut butter and jelly stripes in the same jar, but then I had to go look up the name ("Goober Grape" and "Goober Strawberry") and apparently they are still for sale and my brain is just erasing them from my field of vision because it knows I'd buy them and lose all my grown-up cred otherwise. Now I'm wondering what other fun childhood products still exist without me realizing it - next week's shopping list is going to be full of things like Giggle Noodle Soup and that weird squirty blue butter ...
posted by DingoMutt at 5:22 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I've never been huge on Peanut Butter and Jelly, but my grandmother would make the BEST Peanut Butter and Honey sandwich you've ever tasted. (which can only be beaten by something YOUR grandmother made).
I love that this has become a staple of basketball pregaming.
posted by Twain Device at 5:27 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I love that this has become a staple of basketball pregaming.
posted by Twain Device at 5:27 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Putting the jelly on top of the peanut butter (as my ex did) is a low level crime against humanity.
You take that back RIGHT NOW. Peanut butter goes on both slices of bread, everyone knows that. Otherwise the jelly soaks through on one side and it's disgusting. The peanut butter acts as a sealant.
posted by anotherpanacea at 5:39 AM on March 22, 2017 [11 favorites]
You take that back RIGHT NOW. Peanut butter goes on both slices of bread, everyone knows that. Otherwise the jelly soaks through on one side and it's disgusting. The peanut butter acts as a sealant.
posted by anotherpanacea at 5:39 AM on March 22, 2017 [11 favorites]
Peanut butter and green olives, representing!
Cream cheese and olives over here.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:57 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Cream cheese and olives over here.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:57 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I have kids in their 20s and I eat a PB&J for lunch just about every day, and have done so since I started adulting and bringing my lunch to work every day back in the early 90s. Now GET OFF MY LAWN.
posted by COD at 5:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by COD at 5:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
You take that back RIGHT NOW. Peanut butter goes on both slices of bread, everyone knows that. Otherwise the jelly soaks through on one side and it's disgusting.
What? This is demonstrably false. There are few things better than a PB&J that has been sitting in the fridge for 24 hours, with the jelly almost completely soaked through the bread.
posted by COD at 6:01 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
What? This is demonstrably false. There are few things better than a PB&J that has been sitting in the fridge for 24 hours, with the jelly almost completely soaked through the bread.
posted by COD at 6:01 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Love bread, dig jelly, love peanuts, never had peanut butter, never had a PBJ, never want one, could give two shits about sports figures or that culture. I am a mutant like few others.
posted by dbiedny at 6:26 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by dbiedny at 6:26 AM on March 22, 2017
I wonder what the sport scientists would do if the dreaded fluffernutter snuck into some lockerrooms?
Generally you can go somewhat light on the jam/jelly/preserves but it seems to be next to impossible to make a fluffernutter without teeth rottening levels of marshmellow creme.
posted by vuron at 6:32 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Generally you can go somewhat light on the jam/jelly/preserves but it seems to be next to impossible to make a fluffernutter without teeth rottening levels of marshmellow creme.
posted by vuron at 6:32 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Peanut butter and old sharp cheddar for me. It is also a good combination on a toasted English muffin.
posted by fimbulvetr at 6:42 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by fimbulvetr at 6:42 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
When I started my fourth year of university my mom gave me a 5 lb. jar of peanut butter. I put it in the kitchen, told my three housemates to help themselves, and by Christmas break it was gone, so she gave me another one. I put that one in the kitchen, too, and by the end of the term it too was empty. Shortly before we all moved out I said something along the lines of "Wow, that was a lot of peanut butter," and they all claimed they hadn't touched it. It's possible they were trolling me, but their reactions seemed genuine and because I'd given them permission to eat it they had no motivation to lie. The more likely explanation is that I ate ten pounds of peanut butter in eight months.
Anyway, my personal PB sandwich (PB on both slices, of course) rankings are:
Gold: PB & honey
Silver: PB & strawberry jam
Bronze: PB & raspberry jam
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:47 AM on March 22, 2017 [7 favorites]
Anyway, my personal PB sandwich (PB on both slices, of course) rankings are:
Gold: PB & honey
Silver: PB & strawberry jam
Bronze: PB & raspberry jam
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:47 AM on March 22, 2017 [7 favorites]
My daughter is raised PB&J with creamy PB and strawberry preserves. Like, that's what a "sandwich" is to her at lunch time every day. It's a godsend to get some calories and fruit and protein into the child.
Growing up, every year my mom would buy two containers of marshmallow fluff in the lead-up to Christmas. She would make two pans of fudge with the recipe on the containers ("never-fail fudge"), with walnuts; it is delicious. There would be a little less than half of a container of fluff remaining, so fluffernutters to me are a seasonal rarity. Which is probably for the best.
posted by graymouser at 6:48 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
Growing up, every year my mom would buy two containers of marshmallow fluff in the lead-up to Christmas. She would make two pans of fudge with the recipe on the containers ("never-fail fudge"), with walnuts; it is delicious. There would be a little less than half of a container of fluff remaining, so fluffernutters to me are a seasonal rarity. Which is probably for the best.
posted by graymouser at 6:48 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
I am a mutant like few others.
At least you're not a peanut butter and mustard person.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:54 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
At least you're not a peanut butter and mustard person.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:54 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
> Curious what other non-American MeFites' attitudes to the PB&J are.
I grew up on UK peanut butter, early 1980s vintage. Unsweetened, with a thick cloying smoothness that allowed it to pass as a useful tile grout. The idea of sullying a good jam sandwich with that stuff is just ... no.
PB and mustard could work if it had a touch of horseradish. Could be okay on crispbread with pickle.
posted by scruss at 7:04 AM on March 22, 2017
I grew up on UK peanut butter, early 1980s vintage. Unsweetened, with a thick cloying smoothness that allowed it to pass as a useful tile grout. The idea of sullying a good jam sandwich with that stuff is just ... no.
PB and mustard could work if it had a touch of horseradish. Could be okay on crispbread with pickle.
posted by scruss at 7:04 AM on March 22, 2017
Canadian here; I have never really liked peanut butter being put on pretty much anything in my life. Not allergic, nothing against peanuts...just not peanut butter. Jams and jellies are fine.
My kids enjoy PB, but have never really gone for the PB&J combo...but this past summer they were introduced a new abomination by the kids down the street - peanut butter & Nutella sandwiches. The concept of which just makes my teeth ache.
PB& mustard sounds slightly intriguing...but it would have to be the right mustard. You see, my wife only likes sweet mustards, whereas I prefer the sharp. This sometimes makes cooking difficult - for example, she made a honey mustard vinaigrette this past weekend, and I happily
poured it over my salad expecting a tangy sweet taste and instead got a sweet-sweet taste because she used her sweet mustard instead of the Dijon that was called for.
posted by nubs at 7:15 AM on March 22, 2017
My kids enjoy PB, but have never really gone for the PB&J combo...but this past summer they were introduced a new abomination by the kids down the street - peanut butter & Nutella sandwiches. The concept of which just makes my teeth ache.
PB& mustard sounds slightly intriguing...but it would have to be the right mustard. You see, my wife only likes sweet mustards, whereas I prefer the sharp. This sometimes makes cooking difficult - for example, she made a honey mustard vinaigrette this past weekend, and I happily
poured it over my salad expecting a tangy sweet taste and instead got a sweet-sweet taste because she used her sweet mustard instead of the Dijon that was called for.
posted by nubs at 7:15 AM on March 22, 2017
Growing up a latchkey tween led to some interesting culinary choices on the after school front. I invented the peanut butter/american cheese slice/mayo on toast all by myself, there in the kitchen with Rocket Robinhood and The Six Million Dollar Man on the TV in the living room. I also did some interesting things with browned hamburger and Spaghetti-Os. "But I don't cook like that anymore," he lied.
posted by valkane at 7:24 AM on March 22, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by valkane at 7:24 AM on March 22, 2017 [6 favorites]
This was adorable. My favorite variant is PB & lingonberry preserves.
posted by 41swans at 7:30 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by 41swans at 7:30 AM on March 22, 2017
Curious what other non-American MeFites' attitudes to the PB&J are.
Jam is great. Peanut butter is great. Why in the fuck would you ruin both of them by putting them together?
posted by Dysk at 7:35 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Jam is great. Peanut butter is great. Why in the fuck would you ruin both of them by putting them together?
posted by Dysk at 7:35 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
PB&Mayo.
If I splash holy water on you, I do double damage.
posted by Beholder at 7:35 AM on March 22, 2017 [15 favorites]
If I splash holy water on you, I do double damage.
posted by Beholder at 7:35 AM on March 22, 2017 [15 favorites]
I love me a PB and X sandwich. X could be (preferably homemade) strawberry or raspberry jam, or honey, or in theory grape jelly but I never make jelly so it's not something I have in the fridge, generally. Once I ascended to middle school, simultaneously a) there were no restrictions on nuts in lunches and b) Mom informed us she wasn't making lunches any more. I had a PB and J every single day for several years.
posted by quaking fajita at 7:35 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by quaking fajita at 7:35 AM on March 22, 2017
How is the headline for this article (or this post) not simply PBJ in the NBA?
PBJ in the NBA
PBJ in the NBA
posted by straight at 7:36 AM on March 22, 2017 [7 favorites]
PBJ in the NBA
PBJ in the NBA
posted by straight at 7:36 AM on March 22, 2017 [7 favorites]
Natural peanut butter, sea salt flakes, raspberry preserves, freshly baked white bread (toasted optional).
posted by leotrotsky at 7:41 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 7:41 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
PB&Mayo.
But you have to add bananas! The sweetness and texture of the bananas is what rounds this sandwich out and makes it a perfect meal; they situate between the salty viscosity of the pb and the eggy emulsive support of the mayo like an ambassador.
posted by cortex at 7:46 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
But you have to add bananas! The sweetness and texture of the bananas is what rounds this sandwich out and makes it a perfect meal; they situate between the salty viscosity of the pb and the eggy emulsive support of the mayo like an ambassador.
posted by cortex at 7:46 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
(As a kid I preferred sweet pickles instead but these days I find that level of acid sweetness a bit cloying.)
posted by cortex at 7:46 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by cortex at 7:46 AM on March 22, 2017
Curious what other non-American MeFites' attitudes to the PB&J are.
Not as common in Canada anymore now that peanut butter is banned in schools. I still eat them for lunch, as do my kids when at home. At school they get fake peanut butter and jam (Wow Butter -- made with soya beans or something like that. Disgusting stuff to me as it does not even remotely taste like the real thing, but kids grow up with it now so like it)
My favourite PB&Js are crunchy peanut butter and grape jelly or apple butter.
In Nova Scotia I used to get this great crunchy peanut butter that was salted but not sweetened. Can't find that anywhere in Ontario. I won't touch the "all natural" stuff because, ugh, what is the point of just plain ground-up peanuts and who wants to deal with separated peanut butter in the morning? My mom used to get the all natural stuff from a peanut butter machine at the local grocery store when I was a kid. Ate that almost every day for lunch. I hated it. Nothing but processed peanut butter goodness for me now.
posted by fimbulvetr at 7:48 AM on March 22, 2017
Not as common in Canada anymore now that peanut butter is banned in schools. I still eat them for lunch, as do my kids when at home. At school they get fake peanut butter and jam (Wow Butter -- made with soya beans or something like that. Disgusting stuff to me as it does not even remotely taste like the real thing, but kids grow up with it now so like it)
My favourite PB&Js are crunchy peanut butter and grape jelly or apple butter.
In Nova Scotia I used to get this great crunchy peanut butter that was salted but not sweetened. Can't find that anywhere in Ontario. I won't touch the "all natural" stuff because, ugh, what is the point of just plain ground-up peanuts and who wants to deal with separated peanut butter in the morning? My mom used to get the all natural stuff from a peanut butter machine at the local grocery store when I was a kid. Ate that almost every day for lunch. I hated it. Nothing but processed peanut butter goodness for me now.
posted by fimbulvetr at 7:48 AM on March 22, 2017
How is the headline for this article (or this post) not simply PBJ in the NBA?
I have to admit, the story as-is is the greatest clickbait I've ever seen. When I saw the subhead "ESPN exclusive! How one performance-enhancing sandwich has spread through the NBA.", I checked the entire URL to make sure it wasn't one of those "One weird trick" things.
posted by Etrigan at 7:51 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
I have to admit, the story as-is is the greatest clickbait I've ever seen. When I saw the subhead "ESPN exclusive! How one performance-enhancing sandwich has spread through the NBA.", I checked the entire URL to make sure it wasn't one of those "One weird trick" things.
posted by Etrigan at 7:51 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
PB&Ketchup (preferably Heinz, and just a drizzle. Not Hunt's - too vinegar-y).
posted by zedbends at 7:58 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by zedbends at 7:58 AM on March 22, 2017
Jam is great. Peanut butter is great. Why in the fuck would you ruin both of them by putting them together?
That's like saying that chocolate is great and hazelnut spread is great so why mix them? I know non-US people don't like pb&j but the over-the-top bafflement is... well, baffling.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:58 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
That's like saying that chocolate is great and hazelnut spread is great so why mix them? I know non-US people don't like pb&j but the over-the-top bafflement is... well, baffling.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:58 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Sandwich makers: please please, for the love of all good things and kindness and human decency, when you make a PB&J for someone else, make sure that the peanut butter and jelly are spread to every last corner of the slice of bread. My mom used to casually slather it on (now I recognize she was amazingly single parenting and working), and there would be Sahara-like dry spots on the bread. I am still traumatized by these memories, 30 years later.
posted by anya32 at 7:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by anya32 at 7:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
I'd like to announce my ADA lawsuit against the NBA, as it's absolutely my propensity for anaphylactic shock that has kept me out of the lig and not my weak shot, lack of height or wingspan, or low aerobic endurance.
posted by stevis23 at 7:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by stevis23 at 7:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
By the way, this thread may be interested to know that Trader Joe's has a pb&j chocolate bar.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:03 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:03 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
That's like saying that chocolate is great and hazelnut spread is great so why mix them? I know non-US people don't like pb&j but the over-the-top bafflement is... well, baffling.
No it's not. It's like saying that chips ("French fries") and soft-serve ice cream don't go together (yet that was a common combination in Hong Kong for the decade plus I lived there). Some things are universal. Some things are very particular to certain cultures, and kind of a "wtf?" to those outside it. Pb&j is the latter. (So are some of my beloved things, like picked herring, steak and kidney pudding, etc.)
posted by Dysk at 8:03 AM on March 22, 2017
No it's not. It's like saying that chips ("French fries") and soft-serve ice cream don't go together (yet that was a common combination in Hong Kong for the decade plus I lived there). Some things are universal. Some things are very particular to certain cultures, and kind of a "wtf?" to those outside it. Pb&j is the latter. (So are some of my beloved things, like picked herring, steak and kidney pudding, etc.)
posted by Dysk at 8:03 AM on March 22, 2017
It's like saying that chips ("French fries") and soft-serve ice cream don't go together (yet that was a common combination in Hong Kong for the decade plus I lived there).
I've only ever heard of it in the context of Wendy's, but this is totally a thing in America - you get your Wendy's Frosty (a soft-serve milkshake, essentially), and you dunk your fries in it. I've never been a huge fan but it's very prevalent.
I guess I just don't understand what it is, specifically, about the concept of peanut butter with jelly that's gross. (I understand the root beer thing for sure...)
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:07 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I've only ever heard of it in the context of Wendy's, but this is totally a thing in America - you get your Wendy's Frosty (a soft-serve milkshake, essentially), and you dunk your fries in it. I've never been a huge fan but it's very prevalent.
I guess I just don't understand what it is, specifically, about the concept of peanut butter with jelly that's gross. (I understand the root beer thing for sure...)
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:07 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Right, that's because it's normal as air to you (as indeed pickled herring is to me). I don't have to understand why people find pickled fish disgusting (and I don't, it's fucking delish) to understand that they do. There's no real way to explain it. But peanut butter and fruit preserves makes me react the same way (and I know I'm not alone in this, though MeFites will probably tend to skew American and American-culture-familiar).
posted by Dysk at 8:14 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by Dysk at 8:14 AM on March 22, 2017
I'm glad the article went into the why -- which is obvious, honestly -- a good hit of protein, carbs, fat, sugar with some childhood comfort in there for good measure.
I do enjoy me a good PB&J (although I'm more of a preserves person -- strawberry, especially) but as a child (and ... now ...), I do enjoy a good peanut butter & cheese (like a mild to medium cheddar) sandwich. That, an and apple, is cheap and will keep you alive for a while (although not particularly healthy).
I admit to putting peanut butter, nutritional yeast and sriracha on crackers, which is delicious, but that's kind of more of a struggle snack than a meal. Sometimes you need to eat something and I generally have those things around.
posted by darksong at 8:19 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I do enjoy me a good PB&J (although I'm more of a preserves person -- strawberry, especially) but as a child (and ... now ...), I do enjoy a good peanut butter & cheese (like a mild to medium cheddar) sandwich. That, an and apple, is cheap and will keep you alive for a while (although not particularly healthy).
I admit to putting peanut butter, nutritional yeast and sriracha on crackers, which is delicious, but that's kind of more of a struggle snack than a meal. Sometimes you need to eat something and I generally have those things around.
posted by darksong at 8:19 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Also, the artwork for this piece is simply everything.
posted by mochapickle at 8:19 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by mochapickle at 8:19 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
My grandfather introduced me to the sandwich: chunky peanut butter spread thickly on both bits of toast, slice of ham, raw onion slices...
And here I sit, making sidelong glances around my work cube as I try to find an excuse to LEAVE WORK IMMEDIATELY AND MAKE ONE OF THESE AND NOM NOM NOM.
Seriously. Also, I eat so much peanut butter right of the jar it rarely even makes it to a piece of toast. But this article made me wonder how long I could survive on PB&Js alone.
posted by the matching mole at 8:20 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
And here I sit, making sidelong glances around my work cube as I try to find an excuse to LEAVE WORK IMMEDIATELY AND MAKE ONE OF THESE AND NOM NOM NOM.
Seriously. Also, I eat so much peanut butter right of the jar it rarely even makes it to a piece of toast. But this article made me wonder how long I could survive on PB&Js alone.
posted by the matching mole at 8:20 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
My grandfather introduced me to the sandwich: chunky peanut butter spread thickly on both bits of toast, slice of ham, raw onion slices...
My dad has one (which he hasn't eaten in years, and which I keep meaning to try): peanut butter, sliced onion, cheddar cheese, fried egg, mustard. He insists that modern grocery store onions Simply Aren't The Same, so I'll have to go get farmer's market onions to make it authentic.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:23 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
My dad has one (which he hasn't eaten in years, and which I keep meaning to try): peanut butter, sliced onion, cheddar cheese, fried egg, mustard. He insists that modern grocery store onions Simply Aren't The Same, so I'll have to go get farmer's market onions to make it authentic.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:23 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Howard had been scarfing down about two dozen chocolate bars' worth of sugar every single day for years, possibly as long as a decade. "You name it, he ate it," she says. Skittles, Starbursts, Rolos, Snickers, Mars bars, Twizzlers, Almond Joys, Kit Kats and oh, how he loved Reese's Pieces. He'd eat them before lunch, after lunch, before dinner, after dinner, and like any junkie, he had stashes all over -- in his kitchen, his bedroom, his car, a fix always within reach.
Good god, no wonder he had dysesthesia. /shudders
posted by Existential Dread at 8:26 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Good god, no wonder he had dysesthesia. /shudders
posted by Existential Dread at 8:26 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
obviously the long term dangers of sugar-filed jelly is nothing compared to the near term risks of making a sandwich that requires a sharp knife.
Just ask SF Giants Pitcher (and perfect-game-thrower) Matt Cain about that.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 8:30 AM on March 22, 2017
Just ask SF Giants Pitcher (and perfect-game-thrower) Matt Cain about that.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 8:30 AM on March 22, 2017
I should have stated in my earlier post that most of my peanut butter sandwiches are peanut butter only. I only add jam or honey if I'm feeling decadent. And speaking of childhood/comfort food...normally I don't care whether I'm drinking Pepsi or Coke (and I don't drink a lot of pop in general), but if I'm eating a peanut butter sandwich on white bread it's gotta be Pepsi. Something about that specific combo just takes me back to being eight years old again.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:31 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:31 AM on March 22, 2017
> Just ask SF Giants Pitcher (and perfect-game-thrower) Matt Cain about that.
Years ago I wrote an article for a long-defunct magazine about the Dumbest Off-Field Injuries In Sports History. For whatever reason, most of the "best" ones were baseball players.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:33 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Years ago I wrote an article for a long-defunct magazine about the Dumbest Off-Field Injuries In Sports History. For whatever reason, most of the "best" ones were baseball players.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:33 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
The best = PB&P (peanut butter and pickle (sweet, not dill)). But if you must do PB&J, at least make it jam, not jelly.
Loved this piece.
posted by ClingClang at 8:42 AM on March 22, 2017
Loved this piece.
posted by ClingClang at 8:42 AM on March 22, 2017
i love this article to death as it combines two of my favorite things, kinda-goofy sportswriting and kinda-goofy food writing
also the perfect pb&j is grape jelly, smooth pb, toasted sourdough
posted by burgerrr at 8:44 AM on March 22, 2017
also the perfect pb&j is grape jelly, smooth pb, toasted sourdough
posted by burgerrr at 8:44 AM on March 22, 2017
ALSO i love how butthurt luke walton got about the pb&j ban. even though he's coaching for the lakers now (hisssss) he is still a treasure and i love him
posted by burgerrr at 8:45 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by burgerrr at 8:45 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Howard had been scarfing down about two dozen chocolate bars' worth of sugar every single day for years, possibly as long as a decade. "You name it, he ate it," she says. Skittles, Starbursts, Rolos, Snickers, Mars bars, Twizzlers, Almond Joys, Kit Kats and oh, how he loved Reese's Pieces.
I remember one time I had a particularly strong sugar craving so I ate two candy bars in a row and felt miserable the rest of the night. Still trying to wrap my head around how someone can eat candy all day and then play in an NBA game.
posted by mcmile at 8:46 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I remember one time I had a particularly strong sugar craving so I ate two candy bars in a row and felt miserable the rest of the night. Still trying to wrap my head around how someone can eat candy all day and then play in an NBA game.
posted by mcmile at 8:46 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I don't even know if it's possible to find the strawberry preserves of my childhood, the kind where the strawberries are damn near whole, but that is the PB&J I am aching for right now.
Alternately, with my mom's fig preserves, which is like all the best aspects of both PB&J and PB and honey. And also the worst aspects, as it's one of your runnier preserves.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:48 AM on March 22, 2017
Alternately, with my mom's fig preserves, which is like all the best aspects of both PB&J and PB and honey. And also the worst aspects, as it's one of your runnier preserves.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:48 AM on March 22, 2017
Still trying to wrap my head around how someone can eat candy all day and then play in an NBA game.
I can't even imagine how many calories these guys burn in a day, though.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:55 AM on March 22, 2017
I can't even imagine how many calories these guys burn in a day, though.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:55 AM on March 22, 2017
I'm definitely pro-PB & J (or honey, or thinly sliced fruit) but I've tried substituting tahini for the PB more often lately and I'm surprised how well it works, despite the runniness of tahini. It's definitely a milder flavor but it works well with some particular preserves I really wanted to be able to taste. Recommended!
posted by R a c h e l at 8:58 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by R a c h e l at 8:58 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'd forgotten about it until this thread, but we have one of those PB&J restaurants here in Pittsburgh. Although I'm kind of surprised it's managed to stay open for over a year, now I'm looking at the menu and really wishing I hadn't already eaten lunch. I think there is a peanut butter and maple sandwich somewhere in my future ...
posted by DingoMutt at 9:02 AM on March 22, 2017
posted by DingoMutt at 9:02 AM on March 22, 2017
I don't even know if it's possible to find the strawberry preserves of my childhood, the kind where the strawberries are damn near whole, but that is the PB&J I am aching for right now.
The coffeehouse I worked at in the 90s had a very popular peanut butter sandwich on its menu that your note about whole strawberries made me think of. Smooth peanut butter, followed by a layer of salted roasted peanuts on one side, and on the other, strawberry preserves layered with fresh cut strawberries. A little over the top, but quite tasty.
Normally I'm quite averse to smooth peanut butter, but in this context it certainly made sense, as you were manually de-smoothing it.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 9:15 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
The coffeehouse I worked at in the 90s had a very popular peanut butter sandwich on its menu that your note about whole strawberries made me think of. Smooth peanut butter, followed by a layer of salted roasted peanuts on one side, and on the other, strawberry preserves layered with fresh cut strawberries. A little over the top, but quite tasty.
Normally I'm quite averse to smooth peanut butter, but in this context it certainly made sense, as you were manually de-smoothing it.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 9:15 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Also the DingoWife just read this thread, and it turns out we are totally at odds over whether you're supposed to spread the jelly on its own slice of bread (as god intended) or smear it wretchedly over the existing peanut butter layer like some miserable unclean beast.
We've both agreed that it's lucky we both already have therapy appointments this week.
posted by DingoMutt at 9:27 AM on March 22, 2017 [8 favorites]
We've both agreed that it's lucky we both already have therapy appointments this week.
posted by DingoMutt at 9:27 AM on March 22, 2017 [8 favorites]
Also the DingoWife just read this thread, and it turns out we are totally at odds over whether you're supposed to spread the jelly on its own slice of bread (as god intended) or smear it wretchedly over the existing peanut butter layer like some miserable unclean beast.
Well, don't keep us in suspense. Who holds which position?
posted by Etrigan at 9:35 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
Well, don't keep us in suspense. Who holds which position?
posted by Etrigan at 9:35 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
I guess I'm a weird one in my own right, because I'm happy with any of the fruit options: jam, jelly, or preserves?
But my favourite is PB, banana, and honey.
posted by mbatch at 9:42 AM on March 22, 2017
But my favourite is PB, banana, and honey.
posted by mbatch at 9:42 AM on March 22, 2017
What? This is demonstrably false. There are few things better than a PB&J that has been sitting in the fridge for 24 hours, with the jelly almost completely soaked through the bread.
#$@&%*! I'M TAKING THIS TO METATALK. #$@&%*!
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:02 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
#$@&%*! I'M TAKING THIS TO METATALK. #$@&%*!
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:02 AM on March 22, 2017 [4 favorites]
Putting the jelly on top of the peanut butter (as my ex did) is a low level crime against humanity.
In high school, I went on a few dates with a blindingly cute boy that shared my love of skateboarding, Batman, and the Ramones. One afternoon, we went over to his house after skating and he offered to make me a sandwich. He was even enough of a gentleman to ask if I preferred strawberry or apple on my PBJ. Imagine my disgust as he slathered the peanut butter on a slice and then the jelly on top. This unhappiness only increased when I told him that he was doing it wrong and he countered, "No. This is the right way to make one. The other way is gross."
We bickered for a bit and then I realized that this was not a relationship that was going to work out and broke it off then and there. I could handle a lot of things, but the incorrect sandwich making was a deal breaker. I still feel like I made the right decision.
posted by teleri025 at 10:08 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
In high school, I went on a few dates with a blindingly cute boy that shared my love of skateboarding, Batman, and the Ramones. One afternoon, we went over to his house after skating and he offered to make me a sandwich. He was even enough of a gentleman to ask if I preferred strawberry or apple on my PBJ. Imagine my disgust as he slathered the peanut butter on a slice and then the jelly on top. This unhappiness only increased when I told him that he was doing it wrong and he countered, "No. This is the right way to make one. The other way is gross."
We bickered for a bit and then I realized that this was not a relationship that was going to work out and broke it off then and there. I could handle a lot of things, but the incorrect sandwich making was a deal breaker. I still feel like I made the right decision.
posted by teleri025 at 10:08 AM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
My organic, vegan, filling, TASTY breakfast:
1 slice of harvest grain bread
Organic chunky PB with the oil mostly drained from the jar when opened
Black Raspberry Jam (Has nobody HEARD of this??)
And a sprinkle of Chia seeds on top (optional).
posted by serena15221 at 10:20 AM on March 22, 2017
1 slice of harvest grain bread
Organic chunky PB with the oil mostly drained from the jar when opened
Black Raspberry Jam (Has nobody HEARD of this??)
And a sprinkle of Chia seeds on top (optional).
posted by serena15221 at 10:20 AM on March 22, 2017
DingoMutt, teleri025, the jam absolutely gets its own slice.
We did not reach this point in civilization only to glob jam on top of peanut butter.
posted by mochapickle at 10:24 AM on March 22, 2017 [6 favorites]
We did not reach this point in civilization only to glob jam on top of peanut butter.
posted by mochapickle at 10:24 AM on March 22, 2017 [6 favorites]
wenestvedt: "Samizdata, we make strawberry-rhubarb jam, and I much prefer it over grape jelly....but then maybe there is a jelly/jam choice that the article failed to examine!"
Ahhhhh, a check in from the charismatic apostate! Strawberry rhubarb is an entirely different perspective on the faith. Still waiting on an encyclical on that one.
posted by Samizdata at 10:28 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Ahhhhh, a check in from the charismatic apostate! Strawberry rhubarb is an entirely different perspective on the faith. Still waiting on an encyclical on that one.
posted by Samizdata at 10:28 AM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
The more likely explanation is that I ate ten pounds of peanut butter in eight months.
In my ongoing attempt to get to at least a semi-healthy weight, I've learned that I should try to simply not buy peanut butter*, because it is one of my greatest weaknesses and I will eat a 1-pound jar in 2-3 days if I buy it. Most of it straight out of the jar. I'm astonished that you made 10 pounds last that long.
But this thread has given me many new variations on PB&_ sandwiches that I'd like to try. I'm not sure I'd like all of them, but I'd at least like to try them because I seem to like PB with most things.
For the traditional PB&J my preference is strawberry jam but I'm not dogmatic about it and will eat one made with pretty much any type of jelly or jam you place in front of me.
*Yes, bring on the Boromir "One does not simply not buy peanut butter" memes. Believe me, I know.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:31 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
In my ongoing attempt to get to at least a semi-healthy weight, I've learned that I should try to simply not buy peanut butter*, because it is one of my greatest weaknesses and I will eat a 1-pound jar in 2-3 days if I buy it. Most of it straight out of the jar. I'm astonished that you made 10 pounds last that long.
But this thread has given me many new variations on PB&_ sandwiches that I'd like to try. I'm not sure I'd like all of them, but I'd at least like to try them because I seem to like PB with most things.
For the traditional PB&J my preference is strawberry jam but I'm not dogmatic about it and will eat one made with pretty much any type of jelly or jam you place in front of me.
*Yes, bring on the Boromir "One does not simply not buy peanut butter" memes. Believe me, I know.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:31 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
DingoMutt: "Peanut butter and green olives, representing!"
So I'm not the only one who tried that and liked it?
Peanut butter & sharp cheddar is also a nice mix. But for everyday eating, PB and raspberry jam. A decent orange marmalade is appreciated as an alternative, on occasion.
No crust, though, what the heck? Who cuts off the best part of the bread? My kid will fight you for the butt piece of a loaf, same as I will, same as my grandpa before me... raising a generation of wimps, I tell ya!
posted by caution live frogs at 10:53 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
So I'm not the only one who tried that and liked it?
Peanut butter & sharp cheddar is also a nice mix. But for everyday eating, PB and raspberry jam. A decent orange marmalade is appreciated as an alternative, on occasion.
No crust, though, what the heck? Who cuts off the best part of the bread? My kid will fight you for the butt piece of a loaf, same as I will, same as my grandpa before me... raising a generation of wimps, I tell ya!
posted by caution live frogs at 10:53 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
(Also I refuse to buy peanut butter that has more than 2 ingredients. Palm oil? Sugar? Go to hell. Peanuts and salt or GTFO.)
posted by caution live frogs at 10:54 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by caution live frogs at 10:54 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
After I moved to Denmark (from the US), I discovered that multiple-pound jars of peanut butter are not a thing everywhere. Instead it comes in tiny little jars that make maybe 3 sandwiches (assuming a healthy amount of spoon-eating too).
When my folks came to visit 2 years after I moved, they asked if I needed anything- sure, I said, reasonable amounts of peanut butter.
As far as I'm concerned it's the perfect food- shelf stable, filling, contains enough protein and fat to keep you going.
And raspberry jam. leotrotsky's suggestion of sea salt flakes is also intriguing. For a special treat there's pepper jelly- a friend had some homemade with ghost peppers and that was pretty great too.
Why yes, I'm eating a PBJ, don't mind the jam on my keyboard.
posted by nat at 10:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
When my folks came to visit 2 years after I moved, they asked if I needed anything- sure, I said, reasonable amounts of peanut butter.
As far as I'm concerned it's the perfect food- shelf stable, filling, contains enough protein and fat to keep you going.
And raspberry jam. leotrotsky's suggestion of sea salt flakes is also intriguing. For a special treat there's pepper jelly- a friend had some homemade with ghost peppers and that was pretty great too.
Why yes, I'm eating a PBJ, don't mind the jam on my keyboard.
posted by nat at 10:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I kinda feel like we all glossed over the fact that Dwight Howard used to eat upwards of two dozen chocolate bars worth of candy per day. That seems wild, even (especially?) as a professional athlete.
posted by mhum at 11:16 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mhum at 11:16 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
This is why I love basketball.
If this article was written for baseball it would actually be about some designer performance enhancing drug from Amsterdam that is only legal via an obscure loophole written 50 years ago for regulating racehorses.
If it was football the one weird trick would just be violently murdering someone.
posted by danny the boy at 12:28 PM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
If this article was written for baseball it would actually be about some designer performance enhancing drug from Amsterdam that is only legal via an obscure loophole written 50 years ago for regulating racehorses.
If it was football the one weird trick would just be violently murdering someone.
posted by danny the boy at 12:28 PM on March 22, 2017 [5 favorites]
Putting the jelly on top of the peanut butter (as my ex did) is a low level crime against humanity.
I've never tried it, I'm going to though, I pound one or two of these a day and have for 37 or 38 years now.
I will say, you always put the peanut butter on first and once the knife has gone in to the jelly it is not allowed back in the peanut butter under any circumstances. My wife and I have his and her's peanut butters as a result of such a violation. I also like fresh ground peanut butter with a bit of extra peanut oil on top, I insist on keeping it in the fridge and you have to let it warm up a bit before you can apply it; I'm not sure if that's good for the peanut butter but that's what I do
posted by Nelson69 at 12:59 PM on March 22, 2017
I've never tried it, I'm going to though, I pound one or two of these a day and have for 37 or 38 years now.
I will say, you always put the peanut butter on first and once the knife has gone in to the jelly it is not allowed back in the peanut butter under any circumstances. My wife and I have his and her's peanut butters as a result of such a violation. I also like fresh ground peanut butter with a bit of extra peanut oil on top, I insist on keeping it in the fridge and you have to let it warm up a bit before you can apply it; I'm not sure if that's good for the peanut butter but that's what I do
posted by Nelson69 at 12:59 PM on March 22, 2017
I was curious if the forgotten Celtics player in the first paragraph was Scot Pollard (who was in the news this week for having been similarly forgotten/excluded from a planned 2008 championship team reunion) so I asked Scot and he said it's not. Just in case anyone (????) was wondering.
posted by acidic at 1:35 PM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by acidic at 1:35 PM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]
I have been drinking a fair amount of hot chocolate before bed time recently. It turns out you can dissolve a spoon of peanut butter into the some of the hot milk before topping up and mixing in the chocolate, and it works quite well. Smooth for my preference, though it does make for a chewy finish if you go with crunchy.
posted by biffa at 1:52 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by biffa at 1:52 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
I asked Scot and he said it's not. Just in case anyone (????) was wondering
Weirdly I was just thinking of Scot as I cataloged NBA players whose caloric intake caught up to them after their playing days -- not all of them stay like KG -- he wasn't among them. Sacto still misses the hell out of you, Scot! This place is so weird.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:53 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Weirdly I was just thinking of Scot as I cataloged NBA players whose caloric intake caught up to them after their playing days -- not all of them stay like KG -- he wasn't among them. Sacto still misses the hell out of you, Scot! This place is so weird.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:53 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Weirdly I was just thinking of Scot as I cataloged NBA players whose caloric intake caught up to them after their playing days
lmao the blurb for mark jackson sounds like it was written by mark jackson himself
posted by burgerrr at 2:06 PM on March 22, 2017
lmao the blurb for mark jackson sounds like it was written by mark jackson himself
posted by burgerrr at 2:06 PM on March 22, 2017
I've had a PBJ at nearly every work lunch since 2006. I'm sure it's like 98%. The only change I've made is switching to fruit spread from jelly after a trainer recommended I cut sugar.
Fruit spread, crunchy PB, and a knife stay at work. I bring four slices of bread every other day. I get teased about this.
Not only is it cheap, but I never get hungry at 2-3 pm like I do with pretty much everything else.
posted by dta at 2:27 PM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Fruit spread, crunchy PB, and a knife stay at work. I bring four slices of bread every other day. I get teased about this.
Not only is it cheap, but I never get hungry at 2-3 pm like I do with pretty much everything else.
posted by dta at 2:27 PM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I like home-made PB - dump a tub of dry-roasted unsalted peanuts in one of those super blenders with a bit of sea-salt, and go to town until it's in butter form. I keep it in the fridge so the oil never separates out. On top of some whole wheat toast or bagel-thins with smashed up banana, and you have god's own perfect breakfast food.
posted by Slap*Happy at 2:33 PM on March 22, 2017
posted by Slap*Happy at 2:33 PM on March 22, 2017
I kinda feel like we all glossed over the fact that Dwight Howard used to eat upwards of two dozen chocolate bars worth of candy per day. That seems wild, even (especially?) as a professional athlete.
It does seem wild but then again look at Dwight Howard, about the only training advice anyone can give him is "keep doing what you're doing".
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:08 PM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
It does seem wild but then again look at Dwight Howard, about the only training advice anyone can give him is "keep doing what you're doing".
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 3:08 PM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
I'm in awe and impressed by those who love skippy or jiff. I think it was ruined for me growing up as my mom only bought adam's, which I think is why I can only do the natural stuff on sandwiches and such. I have a jar of the more homogenized kind in my cabinet, but that's only been used for peanut soup and a curry.
posted by Carillon at 3:15 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Carillon at 3:15 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Great. Now I want a Laura Scudder's with Smuckers strawberry jam in Home Pride white bread, because that was my go-to in the good old days.
Though if I am honest, I more often than not made a poor, bastardized version of the Filipino ensaymada where I just slathered butter on white bread, sprinkled white sugar on it, and put it in the toaster oven until the crystals almost melt; or if in a hurry skip the toaster and just roll it into a tube and shove it in my mouth. Ah, youth.
posted by linux at 3:29 PM on March 22, 2017
Though if I am honest, I more often than not made a poor, bastardized version of the Filipino ensaymada where I just slathered butter on white bread, sprinkled white sugar on it, and put it in the toaster oven until the crystals almost melt; or if in a hurry skip the toaster and just roll it into a tube and shove it in my mouth. Ah, youth.
posted by linux at 3:29 PM on March 22, 2017
I grew up in the tropics so for me, the base treat, it's peanut butter on a whole banana. No bread. Growing up in Canada, my closest approximate was a breakfast that was an eggo waffle sprinkled with Rice Krispies, mashed banana into the crevices, sealed in with a layer of peanut butter and then small pour of maple syrup on top. I do not pretend that dish was particularly Canadian.
posted by bl1nk at 3:49 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by bl1nk at 3:49 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Linux, for it to be a properly ghetto ensaymada, I'd still require a token sprinkle of grated cheese post roasting.
posted by bl1nk at 3:51 PM on March 22, 2017
posted by bl1nk at 3:51 PM on March 22, 2017
I sometimes think I'm a weirdo... Give me extra crunchy peanut butter
Weirdo confirmed. :)
posted by Splunge at 4:07 PM on March 22, 2017
Weirdo confirmed. :)
posted by Splunge at 4:07 PM on March 22, 2017
My favorite combination as a kid was peanut butter and bacon bits. When the bacon-on-everything trend arrived, I felt considerably less weird about this.
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:25 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Metroid Baby at 6:25 PM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]
Guys guys guys, it's peanut butter and NUTELLA on a toasted English muffin that you want.
posted by lydhre at 6:48 PM on March 22, 2017
posted by lydhre at 6:48 PM on March 22, 2017
If we're talking sandwiches, I am in favor of strawberry jam and peanut butter.
But my older brother introduced me to peanut butter, mustard, and bologna sandwiches. Pretty good stuff. PB on one side, bologna and mustard on the other.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:55 PM on March 22, 2017
But my older brother introduced me to peanut butter, mustard, and bologna sandwiches. Pretty good stuff. PB on one side, bologna and mustard on the other.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 6:55 PM on March 22, 2017
Sandwich makers: please please, for the love of all good things and kindness and human decency, when you make a PB&J for someone else, make sure that the peanut butter and jelly are spread to every last corner of the slice of bread. My mom used to casually slather it on-- anya32
I think better advice is to ask how they like it, because I'm with your Mom--just schmear it on. You aren't painting a house--it doesn't have to look perfect. It's all going to end up mixed up in your stomach anyway. I much prefer thick and thin over bland, perfect evenness. I've known people in both camps who are so entrenched that I wonder if there's some genetic component to the preference.
posted by eye of newt at 9:21 PM on March 22, 2017
I think better advice is to ask how they like it, because I'm with your Mom--just schmear it on. You aren't painting a house--it doesn't have to look perfect. It's all going to end up mixed up in your stomach anyway. I much prefer thick and thin over bland, perfect evenness. I've known people in both camps who are so entrenched that I wonder if there's some genetic component to the preference.
posted by eye of newt at 9:21 PM on March 22, 2017
Yeah, I'm thinking we might even need to start a chatty AskMe in the proud tradition of over/under, standing/sitting, and front/back.
Because when we do, the truth will rise up like a beacon in the night. And that truth is that the PB and the J each get their own slice. And you must bring both even and to the edge of the bread. And you must use a butter knife for the PB and a spoon for the J. That's right: A knife and a spoon, although you may cut the sandwich, diagonally of course, with the same knife.
Verily.
posted by mochapickle at 9:27 PM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
Because when we do, the truth will rise up like a beacon in the night. And that truth is that the PB and the J each get their own slice. And you must bring both even and to the edge of the bread. And you must use a butter knife for the PB and a spoon for the J. That's right: A knife and a spoon, although you may cut the sandwich, diagonally of course, with the same knife.
Verily.
posted by mochapickle at 9:27 PM on March 22, 2017 [2 favorites]
the jam absolutely gets its own slice...
I have a tendency to take two pieces of bread, put peanut butter on one and jelly (cherry, peach, maybe apricot) on the other... and then eat them separately. I will mix pb and honey, though, each with their own slices or not. (It all ends up in the same place.)
As for the article, I loved the bit about Kevin Garnett: “woe unto he who did not deliver him two S's before every game. ‘Even if he didn't eat them, he needed them to be there.’” Indeed, professional athletes are strange people with weird habits.
posted by LeLiLo at 1:47 AM on March 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
I have a tendency to take two pieces of bread, put peanut butter on one and jelly (cherry, peach, maybe apricot) on the other... and then eat them separately. I will mix pb and honey, though, each with their own slices or not. (It all ends up in the same place.)
As for the article, I loved the bit about Kevin Garnett: “woe unto he who did not deliver him two S's before every game. ‘Even if he didn't eat them, he needed them to be there.’” Indeed, professional athletes are strange people with weird habits.
posted by LeLiLo at 1:47 AM on March 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
If you spread the J all the way to the very edge of the bread, then it will squeeze out onto your hands during the eating process. Better to leave a small bread margin.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:04 AM on March 23, 2017
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:04 AM on March 23, 2017
Yeah, I'm thinking we might even need to start a chatty AskMe in the proud tradition of over/under, standing/sitting, and front/back.
Hell, I think we could just do a MetaTalk for it.
posted by cortex at 7:31 AM on March 23, 2017
Hell, I think we could just do a MetaTalk for it.
posted by cortex at 7:31 AM on March 23, 2017
Pumpernickel, crunchy peanut butter and marmalade, toasted or not as you prefer. If no marmalade is available, better hope you have some apricot, blueberry or black raspberry preserves around. It's to die for.
The Delta terminal at the Detroit airport used to have a place in the end with the low-numbered A-gates that only served PB&Js. You could choose between four or five kinds of bread, several nut butters (smooth, crunchy and almond, I think) and three or four jellies plus honey. Bananas and bacon were available for an up charge. At under $5, the sandwich was inexpensive for airport food, super portable and not messy to eat. Bliss! Sadly, it disappeared within the last year, and I mourn its loss every time I pass through.
posted by carmicha at 7:38 AM on March 23, 2017
The Delta terminal at the Detroit airport used to have a place in the end with the low-numbered A-gates that only served PB&Js. You could choose between four or five kinds of bread, several nut butters (smooth, crunchy and almond, I think) and three or four jellies plus honey. Bananas and bacon were available for an up charge. At under $5, the sandwich was inexpensive for airport food, super portable and not messy to eat. Bliss! Sadly, it disappeared within the last year, and I mourn its loss every time I pass through.
posted by carmicha at 7:38 AM on March 23, 2017
Peanut butter and honey
Oh god this changes everything
I didn't even
posted by egypturnash at 1:41 PM on March 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
Oh god this changes everything
I didn't even
posted by egypturnash at 1:41 PM on March 23, 2017 [3 favorites]
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