It's like America's Cup for Dirtbags

June 7, 2017 2:40 PM

Thursday, June 8th. 0500 PST: The Race to Alaska starts in Port Townsend, WA. There is one rule: no motors allowed. First place wins $10,000. Second place wins a set of steak knives. This year there is an additional prize: once you cross the finish line, you can sell your boat (no matter what your 'boat' is) for $10,000.
posted by mrzarquon (68 comments total)

I've never before gone so quickly from "completely unaware of" to "#1 FAN!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!"
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:42 PM on June 7, 2017 [12 favorites]

Hello from PT. Heading down to the pre-race party, The Ruckus, now. 5am comes awfully early tomorrow, but I'll be there. Hopefully CBS keeps the aerial antics to more reasonable level this year.
posted by humboldt32 at 2:51 PM on June 7, 2017 [8 favorites]

Their FAQ is very entertaining.

I feel like these people don't understand how cheques work, though, based on the Buy Back video. You don't put 'Boat' on the Pay To line, you put it on the Memo line, unless you're writing a cheque to someone named Boat. /nitpick.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:52 PM on June 7, 2017 [3 favorites]

The guy on the standup paddle board, he's dead now, right?
posted by Keith Talent at 2:54 PM on June 7, 2017 [11 favorites]

> Hello from PT.

Which boat are you in? Co-workers of mine are crewing Spar Trek (which is how I was reminded about the race).

For folks wanting to follow along from home, there is a tracker here (currently with last years data).
posted by mrzarquon at 2:54 PM on June 7, 2017 [5 favorites]

@mrzarquon

I'm lucky enough to have lived in this wonderful, weird town for more than 2 decades now.

BTW, the stone-faced gent in the buy back video is the fabulous Josh Colvin, managing editor of Small Craft Advisor.
posted by humboldt32 at 3:00 PM on June 7, 2017

Tomorrow I'm supposed to watch Comey and track this race and get my kid to school? Looks like someone's walking. (Sorry about it being Orchestra day, hon).
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:01 PM on June 7, 2017 [7 favorites]

I hope your kids are fairly independent. The tracker will consume you for days, if you let it.
posted by humboldt32 at 3:04 PM on June 7, 2017

Huh. I've had paperwork for this race cross my desk every year for the last three years, and never once realized how crazy it is. Thanks for the link!
posted by suelac at 3:10 PM on June 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

Okay, this looks like a frickin blast. Port Townsend, you continue to amaze. I always enjoyed going there when I got out onto the Penninsula. I'm glad I'm back in MA, but I really do miss living out in WA sometimes.
posted by rmd1023 at 3:57 PM on June 7, 2017

There's a really good short movie about a team of paralyzed sailors who attempted the race in 2016: Hard Ship.
posted by peeedro at 3:59 PM on June 7, 2017 [2 favorites]

Their FAQ is very entertaining.

Checks out:

How do I not get eaten by a bear?
Here’s a link to a website by the state of Alaska that talks about bear safety.

I’ve read the website, now I’m scared of bears.
We don’t know how to answer that, it’s not a question
posted by thelonius at 4:00 PM on June 7, 2017 [16 favorites]

bah. to keep out expensive boats, the rule should be that if you finish the race, anyone can buy your boat for $10K.
posted by machaus at 4:06 PM on June 7, 2017 [6 favorites]

> bah. to keep out expensive boats, the rule should be that if you finish the race, anyone can buy your boat for $10K.


The winning prize of $10,000 might not cover the cost of getting your boat back home (especially if it is an expensive carbon fiber snow flake) after the race. If you want to sail your $250,000 boat there, go right ahead.
posted by mrzarquon at 4:09 PM on June 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

YouTube recommended this really well done participant account of the race.
posted by Bringer Tom at 4:30 PM on June 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

Team names. Oh my god. How do I choose? Bitty Kitty Meow? Noddy's Noggins? Take me to the Volcano? Make It So? Pear Shaped Racing? mrzarquon's coworkers Away Team, in their boat Spar Trek?
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:49 PM on June 7, 2017 [4 favorites]

I love everything about this. Thanks for sharing it!
posted by travertina at 5:54 PM on June 7, 2017

And just to take it in the opposite direction, tomorrow you can watch the actual America's Cup (prelims) while watching the RTA tracker (tbh they don't make it easy to watch).
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 6:23 PM on June 7, 2017

I've offered this the past couple of years, but if anyone is participating in this year's race and needs some logistic help once you get to Ketchikan, feel free to MeMail me.
posted by Nerd of the North at 7:04 PM on June 7, 2017 [5 favorites]

The guy on the standup paddle board, he's dead now, right?

I just want to know what his plan was for sleeping.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:18 PM on June 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

I swear I read about this here on the blue before, like the one team (dude?) that paid the entry fee in beaver pelts..
posted by k5.user at 7:24 PM on June 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

I just want to know what his plan was for sleeping.

I was curious too. Here's how.
posted by zippy at 7:35 PM on June 7, 2017 [2 favorites]

Oooh, I foresee lots of competition between Team Make It So and Team Away Team.
posted by TwoStride at 7:51 PM on June 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

Since there are no class rules or handicaps the only craft with any real chance of winning is some kind of catamaran. And if there are serious competitors a single performance sail would be way over $10k, carbon fiber sails seriously efficient but non-trivial to build (no sew, build on a custom formed floor). But living in a survival suit for a week would not be all that bad. Well assuming certain zippers didn't jam.
posted by sammyo at 7:57 PM on June 7, 2017

Crazy, crazy people.

Awesome crazy, but crazy nonetheless.
posted by Samizdata at 7:59 PM on June 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

> you can watch the actual America's Cup (prelims)

New Zealand's boat capsized yesterday, at almost 32km/hour. As my dad put it, boats aren't meant to sail that fast.
posted by mrzarquon at 8:00 PM on June 7, 2017 [2 favorites]

> watching the RTA tracker (tbh they don't make it easy to watch).

To be fair, its a scrappy race competition. The only reason why they can build that tracker is because of the VHF / GPS transponders all the boats are required to carry on them. And the race is over the course of days. Probably by the second day the clear pack of winners will be decided.
posted by mrzarquon at 8:02 PM on June 7, 2017

I learned of this race when I came across this amazing visualization of last year's race .
posted by Ranucci at 8:28 PM on June 7, 2017 [1 favorite]

More from the FAQ:

What if someone cheats?

First, just don’t do that. Let’s try to be better than the people who think a win is more important than integrity. This ain’t professional cycling.
posted by pickinganameismuchharderthanihadanticipated at 9:00 PM on June 7, 2017 [5 favorites]

That shit is funny.
posted by pickinganameismuchharderthanihadanticipated at 9:01 PM on June 7, 2017

My hometown on the Blue! The boat race is pretty cool, too.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 9:21 PM on June 7, 2017

The corpse in the library: "Tomorrow I'm supposed to watch Comey and track this race and get my kid to school? Looks like someone's walking. (Sorry about it being Orchestra day, hon)."

Don't forget the UK election!
posted by Chrysostom at 10:31 PM on June 7, 2017 [2 favorites]

I'm gonna cheer for Team Northwest Wind & Surf because MOANA!

Looks like I'll have some good water-cooler conversation tomorrow :) Thanks!
posted by invokeuse at 10:39 PM on June 7, 2017

I'm in love with their FAQ writer:
"Can I portage my boat?

Sure, but remember this is a boat race so as long as you portage it under human and wind power, and the boat is the only vehicle involved it’s totally inbounds. We’ll take a dim view of portages done on the roof rack of a Subaru."
posted by TwoStride at 7:37 AM on June 8, 2017

Don't forget the UK election!

They can't be having an election, I haven't heard 52 months of discussion about the candidates!
posted by AzraelBrown at 9:21 AM on June 8, 2017 [1 favorite]

I love everything about this.
posted by togdon at 9:24 AM on June 8, 2017

I am delighted to see Team Sistership--not only all women, but all over 50, and from my old neighborhood of Ventura! That's who I'm rooting for! :)
posted by The otter lady at 9:51 AM on June 8, 2017 [2 favorites]

I got a few shots of the winners crossing the finish line in front of our wharfside office in VIctoria. These guys are done with qualifying race. The winner was a French team followed by Take me to the Volcano then it was Colin Angus (a soloist, and experiencedTrans-Atlantic/world circumnavigating rower )
posted by HakaiMagazine at 11:34 AM on June 8, 2017 [1 favorite]

Looks like team Chum is one of the first boats to call for assistance.
posted by mrzarquon at 4:28 PM on June 8, 2017

It looks like there's some rough water out in the middle of the channel - I see some boats have dropped anchor on the US side of the channel.

Rust Aweigh reports 30 min ago "Safely at anchor in 15 feet of water. 25 knots breeze. Primary anchor rock solid. Secondary ready to go. Worried a lot about rest of fleet."
posted by mrzarquon at 4:31 PM on June 8, 2017

Also for more details: Boats have until 5pm tomorrow to make it to Victoria.

Whoever makes it in before the cutoff then qualifies for the second half of the race, to Ketchikan. That part kicks off on the 11th.
posted by mrzarquon at 5:39 PM on June 8, 2017

Looks like Freya is the last boat that is still planning to finish tonight.
posted by mrzarquon at 7:08 PM on June 8, 2017

It was brutally windy today. The boats were tossed around allover the course. It was kinda weird - rainy and damp until the first three boats crossed the finish line, then it became suddenly, and violently windy. I felt bad for them. It was rough.

All the same, Welcome to Victoria! I hope you like it here!
posted by HakaiMagazine at 7:31 PM on June 8, 2017

Sistership crossed the finish line this morning.

The paddle boarders are making their way.
posted by mrzarquon at 7:56 AM on June 9, 2017 [2 favorites]

The paddle boarders' Facebook page is exactly what I want from my paddle boarders' Facebook pages. Paddle on, dudes!
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:13 AM on June 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

The stokes (paddle boarders) have made it to Victoria. They're in the race officially now.
posted by mrzarquon at 1:51 PM on June 9, 2017 [1 favorite]

And to liven things up, part of the race course is undergoing a live fire testing by the Canadian government.
posted by mrzarquon at 8:14 PM on June 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

Fueled on Stoke is doing surprisingly well. I don't know anything about sailing that doesn't involve Jack Aubrey; maybe paddleboards have an advantage in the more bits closer to land.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:01 PM on June 11, 2017

4-6 knot winds from the south/east, so its pretty gentle. The currents get strong with the tides thou. I can see the paddle boarders doing well since they are probably the ideal weight vs power ratio for a paddled vessel and can keep a consistent speed as long as the wind isn't against them (it doesn't have to be with them either).

As my one of my coworkers has pointed out, there are quite a few Aussies competing.
posted by mrzarquon at 5:23 PM on June 11, 2017

Lovely photo of Team Heart of Gold, another stand up paddle boarder.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:18 AM on June 12, 2017

Away Team has just reached Discovery Passage

Team Pear Shaped have left the race, due to skipper getting hypothermia.

Pure & Wild has taken the lead, Multi hull's proving to be most effective for this.
posted by mrzarquon at 5:28 PM on June 13, 2017 [1 favorite]

Sistership has improvised a solution to their earlier problems with their centerboard.
posted by mrzarquon at 5:18 PM on June 14, 2017

According to the tracker, it looks it we will have the Winners shortly.
posted by mrzarquon at 2:22 PM on June 15, 2017

Not giving up yet -- it would be just like a paddleboarder to swoop in at the last minute! Well, according to all the slobs vs snobs movies I watched at an impressionable age. (Not that paddleboarding is a particularly cheap sport; this whole comparison falls apart if you stare at it too firmly.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:37 PM on June 15, 2017

The wind has died down, so now it may be a pedal race to the finish.

Web Cam 6 has a view of the finish line.

It might also end up streaming on Facebook when it gets close to the finish.
posted by mrzarquon at 2:44 PM on June 15, 2017

Team Pure & Wild in First, gets $10,000

Broderna in Second, gets the set of steak knives.

They finished only about 10 minutes apart, which is crazy close considering the race was over 750 miles.
posted by mrzarquon at 3:24 PM on June 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

Maybe they're really good steak knives.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:12 PM on June 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

I've confirmed it is a set of 8 knives.

Broderna is a team of five.

That's awkward.
posted by mrzarquon at 5:58 PM on June 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

If they're lucky, one of them is a vegetarian.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:02 PM on June 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

Official race times are up.

First Team Pure & Wild 4 days, 3 hours, 5 mins
Second Team Big Broderna 4 days, 3 hours, 11 mins

So it was 6 minutes.
posted by mrzarquon at 6:21 PM on June 15, 2017

Bad Kitty took 3rd.

It's between West Coast Wild Ones and Ketch Me If You Can for 4th.

No one has claimed the $10,000 buy your boat prize, and both teams have said they're interested in going for it. One is a 45 year old monohull boat (Wild) and the other is a cabin less day racing catamaran (Ketch). I love this race.
posted by mrzarquon at 2:49 PM on June 17, 2017

I'm watching out my window as a sailboat comes into the harbor (slowly -- winds are pretty light tonight) and just thought to check my tracker because it's a little late in the evening to be one of our locals. Looks like it's "Away Team" if I'm reading the tracker right (and if it's accurate) and also looks like "Discovery" is about 7 or 8 miles behind them -- within sight of the lights of town but still probably with at least an hour or two to go if they're under sail.

I hope both teams get safely in tonight and enjoy a hot meal, a long shower, and a well-earned rest in town. It's been a rainy race for most of these boats and I can only imagine they'll be glad to avail themselves of the amenities in port.
posted by Nerd of the North at 10:21 PM on June 20, 2017 [1 favorite]

The solo paddleboarder Karl Kruger - Team Heart of Gold - finished in 14 days. 750 miles in two weeks on a paddleboard.
posted by janell at 12:08 PM on June 26, 2017 [3 favorites]

I couldn't stand up for that long, never mind paddling.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:24 PM on June 26, 2017

That's nothing, Chris Bertish paddleboarded solo 4050 miles to cross the Atlantic Ocean this spring in 93 days.
posted by peeedro at 2:56 PM on June 26, 2017

> That's nothing, Chris Bertish paddleboarded solo 4050 miles to cross the Atlantic Ocean this spring in 93 days.

Karl had to average 53 miles a day while Chris only had to do 43 miles. And Karl had a much more minimalist rig.

I mean, both are insane stunts, but Karl's has an approachability to it. And he got to eat a lot of cheeseburgers.
posted by mrzarquon at 11:22 PM on June 27, 2017

(also as a fellow HHGTTG fan, I must cheer for The Heart Of Gold)
posted by mrzarquon at 11:23 PM on June 27, 2017

Today's Daily Fix is an hour of (raw) interview with Heart of Gold. It's pretty interesting.
posted by janell at 11:19 AM on June 28, 2017