If you've got lemons, make LeMonade!

September 28, 2017 8:21 PM

You may have heard of 24 Hours of Le Mans, one of the most prestigious automobile races in the world. But what if you only have $500? Then 24 Hours of LeMons is the race for you! ~ The Top 44 Lemons of 24 Hours of LeMons! ~ $500 for Glory - A LeMons Story (30:00)
posted by Room 641-A (24 comments total)

OMG! I went to the first Concours d'LeMons car show in Monterey (it's part of Monterey Auto Week) and shot a video. The car at 25 seconds in is a friend's Fiat. He came to look at the beat-up cars, but the people at the gate assumed he was entering and directed him to park next to some other Fiats - and he won the Needlessly Complex Italian category! The event still goes on and you can find videos from 2017 on YouTube.

Staring at oceans of perfect Ferraris gets mind-numbing after a while. The Concours d'LeMons never does. Someday I want to get to 24 Hours of LeMons.
posted by rednikki at 9:03 PM on September 28, 2017 [10 favorites]

Awww, I miss getting live updates on the LeMons from my friend Jonny when he served as a chief judge and institutor of punishment and acceptor of bribes. Such a wonderfully stupid idea for an event. (This is also how I found out about a lot of really good whiskies and rums - bribes are good)
posted by drewbage1847 at 9:12 PM on September 28, 2017

it handles like a confused gazelle with an accidentally-inserted vibrator.

There's an image that I will never be able to vanquish, even if I actually wanted to.
posted by dfm500 at 9:21 PM on September 28, 2017 [10 favorites]

For some definition of $500
posted by wotsac at 9:37 PM on September 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

I don't really care for racing, but I have loved everything I've ever seen of 24 Hours of LeMons. My favorite was the Miata with the snowmobile engine.

I feel like I'd like a lot of sports more if they had this ethos. Like, high production value drunken amateur flag football instead of the NFL.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:47 PM on September 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

Aw, we used to do something a bit like that: the Undie 500. Except rather than a race, it was basically just a competition to see which under $500 cars would actually make it to Dunedin. (And then there was a bit of heavy drinking and light rioting to make it worth everyone's while.)
posted by lollusc at 10:02 PM on September 28, 2017

It was a common sight to spot several CRXs buzzing around like angry bees behind this monster in the turns...

I first misread "CRX" as "CX" (as in Citroen CX). That would've also been funny.
posted by ovvl at 10:42 PM on September 28, 2017

I have a fine beast of a beater I would love to sell to a hopeful LeMons team. It is honestly a great car for this event. A solid runner with no AC, no ABS, and a shit paint job. Also a 350cc V8 dual exhaust and cop suspension.
posted by zippy at 10:57 PM on September 28, 2017 [6 favorites]

This sort of thing makes me happy to be alive. I read through a lot of the Hugh Hefner thread today, and ppl saying that "Look at this man -- boy oh boy, what a skeezy sleaze-bag jerk-face! It makes me think all men are skeezy sleaze-bag jerk-faces!" but then you see men doing ridiculous, comical things like this with dead serious intent and I personally believe that it evens the score. These men are heroic. Or some such.

I've got a friend who absolutely would do this. He is an art jeweler, he's got a studio he teaches fine jewelry in, but he's also a car and motorcycle fanatic. If ever you're in Austin, and you see a chopped and channeled 1934 Ford pickup that's one of the coolest things on four wheels, that's Bob. He can do anything, create anything. He has two '57 Chevies, one of them pretty much basic '57, the other is a '57 Chevy mounted on a Corvette frame, four wheel independant suspension, though I'd have preferred a straight-up red he went with a maroon, an absolutely one of a kind, gorgeous vehicle. He's got three Harley Davidson motorcycles and he does all the work on them. He's a total psycho, is what I'm trying to say here, one of the coolest ppl I know. I could absolutely see him digging into this, building a fun garbage-can for less than $500 and racing it. I can spin wrenches, pretty much do maintainence work on my trucks but I do not have his ability to just create things, the imagination to see what's needed and the ability to custom build parts to make it all come together.

Great post, OP, thx for putting it up.
posted by dancestoblue at 3:27 AM on September 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

I follow this race closely most years. A tremendous amount of TLC, camaraderie, and god-tier wrench skill goes into a successful LeMons finish. The winner is really a matter of luck. The duct-tape-and-baling-wire fixes that happen every year are rightfully the stuff of legend on this course.

However, when I first heard about it and thought, "shit, I can come up with $500 and find a few people to hoon with me for eight hours," I didn't realize that the roll cage &c rules meant you were looking at another $3000 or more...to sink into a $500 car.
posted by radicalawyer at 7:15 AM on September 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

I want to drive in this race. Like, right now, and to win.

This is the mostly unrelated article that turned me on to this wonderful subculture:

Awful Homeowners' Association Hassles Man's Street Legal Upside-Down Camaro
posted by Room 641-A at 7:32 AM on September 29, 2017 [10 favorites]

Acceptable.
posted by Bob Regular at 7:37 AM on September 29, 2017

Room 641-A, Speedycop is a goddamn legend. Like the Beyonce of the crapcan race car world. Every one of his creations is legendary.
posted by rp at 7:51 AM on September 29, 2017 [3 favorites]

Wait, wait, wait, how can they have a list of best cars at LeMons and not include The Homer?!
posted by SansPoint at 8:32 AM on September 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

Speedycop's sideways microbus has me laughing so hard I'm crying. Amazing stuff.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:40 AM on September 29, 2017 [5 favorites]

These extra links are awesome!
posted by Room 641-A at 8:46 AM on September 29, 2017

zippy: "Also a 350cc V8 dual exhaust and cop suspension."

Eponhysterical!
posted by chavenet at 8:57 AM on September 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

Don't forget the S&M Citroen SM!
posted by hwyengr at 9:27 AM on September 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

Ephoonysterical?

Also team homer's first car, the porcubimmer: "a BMW with the pricks on the outside"
posted by zippy at 9:52 AM on September 29, 2017 [4 favorites]

Is there a cost to attend? The website only mentions entry fees.
posted by Room 641-A at 9:58 AM on September 29, 2017

So many good ones. I've always been partial to the backwards F-150 and the self-powered pop-up camper. I had the good fortune to hang out with a team at Sear Pointless a few years back who took home the Index of Effluency award. It was a ton of fun.

ahem previously
posted by Existential Dread at 10:24 AM on September 29, 2017 [1 favorite]

Some entertaining gifs here
posted by Existential Dread at 10:47 AM on September 29, 2017

A buddy of mine is a member of the Bernal Dads Racing team, currently on the track in a "Muni bus".

Previous team vehicles include the Molvo (Miata-Volvo monstrosity) and an '87 Alfa Romeo Milano, complete with pun.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 12:42 PM on September 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

A solid runner with no AC, no ABS, and a shit paint job. Also a 350cc V8 dual exhaust and cop suspension.

Fix the cigarette lighter.
posted by petebest at 6:32 PM on September 29, 2017 [3 favorites]