"I want to see the seashells in the bathrooms people"
November 24, 2017 1:05 AM Subscribe
Wow that is an amazing thread. Parents' homes - a land of contrast (and animals gone fishing, seashells, and a framed picture of Keanu).
posted by like_neon at 1:36 AM on November 24, 2017
posted by like_neon at 1:36 AM on November 24, 2017
Well, my Thanksgiving is at my step-sister's house or I'd do a selfie for you all.
posted by Samizdata at 2:09 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Samizdata at 2:09 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Perhaps the callow youth who's mocking that Shakespeare's head switch doesn't realise it's modelled on Bruce Wayne's Batcave entrance mechanism from the 1960s TV show. On the show, flipping that switch slid back the bookcase concealing the poles Bruce and Dick would slide down to get to their secret HQ beneath stately Wayne Manor. And if that's not cool enough for you, I don't know what would be.
posted by Paul Slade at 2:15 AM on November 24, 2017 [32 favorites]
posted by Paul Slade at 2:15 AM on November 24, 2017 [32 favorites]
My bathroom features two rubber pangolins worshipping Satan and a very NSFW pewter sculpture on the terlit tank so I am not judging ANYBODY.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:23 AM on November 24, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by louche mustachio at 2:23 AM on November 24, 2017 [12 favorites]
I guess this is what happens when the kids move away and you suddenly have more pocket money and shelf space than you know what to do with. "Cynthia, I find I have room in my life for a rather largish collection of ceramic Santa clowns with spooky dark eyes and sparkling fish tails and a trident. You know. The ones that play Christmas circus sea shanties when you wind them up. What say you to this, dearly beloved?"
posted by pracowity at 2:27 AM on November 24, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 2:27 AM on November 24, 2017 [7 favorites]
oh my god if only i had photos of the epic 70s hilarity of my childhood home
the shag carpet
the conversation pit
the harvest gold kitchen with pumpkin accents
the huge open fireplace connecting the living room and the den
the enormous life sized reproduction of rodin's the kiss in the garden niche
posted by poffin boffin at 2:32 AM on November 24, 2017 [21 favorites]
the shag carpet
the conversation pit
the harvest gold kitchen with pumpkin accents
the huge open fireplace connecting the living room and the den
the enormous life sized reproduction of rodin's the kiss in the garden niche
posted by poffin boffin at 2:32 AM on November 24, 2017 [21 favorites]
My bathroom features two rubber pangolins worshipping Satan and a very NSFW pewter sculpture on the terlit tank so I am not judging ANYBODY.
Pics or it didn't happen.
posted by Samizdata at 2:36 AM on November 24, 2017 [8 favorites]
Pics or it didn't happen.
posted by Samizdata at 2:36 AM on November 24, 2017 [8 favorites]
Forgive me but that sounds kind of awesome.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:37 AM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by louche mustachio at 2:37 AM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
People can are terrible enough generally, but publicly mocking your own family for sport on Thanksgiving? Why do this?
posted by paulhyden at 2:42 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by paulhyden at 2:42 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
a very NSFW pewter sculpture on the terlit tank
Why would I be working on your "terlit", anyway?
posted by thelonius at 2:46 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Why would I be working on your "terlit", anyway?
posted by thelonius at 2:46 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
It's not mocking; it's teasing.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:47 AM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by MartinWisse at 2:47 AM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
And I'd argue the vast majority of parents know that all these things are a bit weird, a bit kooky, a bit dumb anyway.
It's just that one day you wake up nearer to fifty than to forty and say sod all this minimalist, clean living bullshit, I want floor to ceiling scary clown dolls.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:48 AM on November 24, 2017 [37 favorites]
It's just that one day you wake up nearer to fifty than to forty and say sod all this minimalist, clean living bullshit, I want floor to ceiling scary clown dolls.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:48 AM on November 24, 2017 [37 favorites]
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am not sure why you would not believe me but OK
posted by louche mustachio at 2:54 AM on November 24, 2017 [64 favorites]
I am not sure why you would not believe me but OK
posted by louche mustachio at 2:54 AM on November 24, 2017 [64 favorites]
I didn't realise how much I would love a Shakespeare bust with hidden button that opens a secret panel until this moment.
posted by biffa at 3:22 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by biffa at 3:22 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I really don't see this as mean-spirited in any way. I've just emailed the link to my parents, telling them that they need to up their game and get a giant penguin.
posted by Vortisaur at 3:27 AM on November 24, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by Vortisaur at 3:27 AM on November 24, 2017 [13 favorites]
In 30 years time, the smartarse kids of 2047 will be mocking our own bathroom decor with equal glee. Circle of life and all that.
posted by Paul Slade at 3:38 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Paul Slade at 3:38 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I freely admit to misunderstanding tone on this kind of thing or maybe being too sensitive. I'd be heartbroken if a guest of mine went out of their way to score points on the internets in this way, that's all.
posted by paulhyden at 3:57 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by paulhyden at 3:57 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
When you grow up with it, is it weird?
and, I suspect I'm growing my own
posted by infini at 4:02 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
and, I suspect I'm growing my own
posted by infini at 4:02 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
My mom probably has a lot of seashells and beach glass in her bathroom, and I probably gave some of it to her.
Granted, she lives near a beach and she (and people like her) may be partially responsible for the trope of putting seashells everywhere, but it's not like she's buying bags of seashells from a craft store or something. Those seashells are gifts from her kids and stuff she picked up off the beach.
You also won't find any weird cast resin toilet seats full of seashells or baroque crafty toilet paper covers, or weird empty collection-ing.
posted by loquacious at 4:12 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Granted, she lives near a beach and she (and people like her) may be partially responsible for the trope of putting seashells everywhere, but it's not like she's buying bags of seashells from a craft store or something. Those seashells are gifts from her kids and stuff she picked up off the beach.
You also won't find any weird cast resin toilet seats full of seashells or baroque crafty toilet paper covers, or weird empty collection-ing.
posted by loquacious at 4:12 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
One time in 1992 or so my dad found a peanut shaped like a penis and proceeded to keep it in his bathroom for the next couple of decades.
I deeply regret not getting a photo of it, I haven't seen it for a few years and when I ask my parents what happened to it I get shifty and inconsistent excuses.
posted by saturday_morning at 4:45 AM on November 24, 2017 [7 favorites]
I deeply regret not getting a photo of it, I haven't seen it for a few years and when I ask my parents what happened to it I get shifty and inconsistent excuses.
posted by saturday_morning at 4:45 AM on November 24, 2017 [7 favorites]
Update: my mother emailed me back.
"What do you mean up my game.........
I've just put furniture food for wood on a herd of sheep, a bowl of wooden fruit and the "mushroom" for darning the crotch of long johns. I've polished the otter. There are gargoyles, fossils and a brass candle stick on the bookcase. We have a stuffed rat on the grandfather clock and a stuffed moose head in the hall. Behind me here at the moment I have a clanger, a small elephant and there is a picture of a dancing puffin in front of me. I could go on."
Parents know where they're at.
posted by Vortisaur at 4:57 AM on November 24, 2017 [61 favorites]
"What do you mean up my game.........
I've just put furniture food for wood on a herd of sheep, a bowl of wooden fruit and the "mushroom" for darning the crotch of long johns. I've polished the otter. There are gargoyles, fossils and a brass candle stick on the bookcase. We have a stuffed rat on the grandfather clock and a stuffed moose head in the hall. Behind me here at the moment I have a clanger, a small elephant and there is a picture of a dancing puffin in front of me. I could go on."
Parents know where they're at.
posted by Vortisaur at 4:57 AM on November 24, 2017 [61 favorites]
I need to take a picture of the Willie Nelson painting in my in-laws' living room. It's halfway to creepy clown portrait-land.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:22 AM on November 24, 2017
posted by uncleozzy at 5:22 AM on November 24, 2017
The mummified aunt aside, most of these were a lot less weird/ugly than I was expecting. Most of it just looked like typical vernacular decoration pieces, dated and kind of cluttery but not really rising to the level of being worth mocking.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:25 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Dip Flash at 5:25 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
the conversation pit
If my current place had a shag-carpeted conversation pit, I'd never leave the house.
posted by ryanshepard at 5:40 AM on November 24, 2017 [17 favorites]
If my current place had a shag-carpeted conversation pit, I'd never leave the house.
posted by ryanshepard at 5:40 AM on November 24, 2017 [17 favorites]
I... still think conversation pits are cool.
posted by tavegyl at 5:48 AM on November 24, 2017 [22 favorites]
posted by tavegyl at 5:48 AM on November 24, 2017 [22 favorites]
Except for all of the dried flowers, I think the only thing that my parents have that's weird/tacky is an item that Dad got in a Yankee Auction/White Elephant gift exchange thing. Apparently it is an ash tray - there's a hole in the bottom where you can stick your cigar/cigarette, and if you do, the rising heat and smoke makes the leg and the fan move.
I don't think he's ever used it for its intended purpose, but the idea behind it is gloriously tacky and so he loves it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:17 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I don't think he's ever used it for its intended purpose, but the idea behind it is gloriously tacky and so he loves it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:17 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
People can are terrible enough generally, but publicly mocking your own family for sport on Thanksgiving? Why do this?
As a parent whose kids are home for the holiday, right now I really sort of feel like shit because they've all decided that mocking me is their hilarious new tradition.
Listen, I get it; my sister and I ran off to college and when we returned, full of our new adult lives and adult brains and obviously being so much smarter than every adult in our family, we were undoubtedly obnoxious as hell. But we didn't openly mock our mom.
I'm now on the receiving end of it and this is just so fucking hurtful. Like, I raised you three little shits singlehandedly and it's so great that you're now all launched and learning and getting into the world. I am really very proud of you. Yet "Mom is so silly" is getting pretty old. I get it; I am old and I suck. Haha.
Sure, it can be a fun shared family joke. But it can also be really fucking mean-spirited.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 6:24 AM on November 24, 2017 [34 favorites]
As a parent whose kids are home for the holiday, right now I really sort of feel like shit because they've all decided that mocking me is their hilarious new tradition.
Listen, I get it; my sister and I ran off to college and when we returned, full of our new adult lives and adult brains and obviously being so much smarter than every adult in our family, we were undoubtedly obnoxious as hell. But we didn't openly mock our mom.
I'm now on the receiving end of it and this is just so fucking hurtful. Like, I raised you three little shits singlehandedly and it's so great that you're now all launched and learning and getting into the world. I am really very proud of you. Yet "Mom is so silly" is getting pretty old. I get it; I am old and I suck. Haha.
Sure, it can be a fun shared family joke. But it can also be really fucking mean-spirited.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 6:24 AM on November 24, 2017 [34 favorites]
A selection of my favorites:
Second best story hidden in there: from the lady who's husband used to play a game with his friends where they would name a random object that you might find in someone's house -anywhere in the world- and he would have 60 seconds to find it in his mother's collection. (The skeletal remains does beat this.)
It is the responsibility of children and grand children to educate their elderly on modern slang - especially when it has been in use for 40ish years...
Don't take out your kink on your pets.
Also, the neat hoarder.
Best use of that style of kitch artwork I've seen ever... it scares the hell out of me in an uncanny valley way - hell put it in a jar sort of like a formaldehyde soaked specimen!
Who says Bronies can't keep up Regan-era ideals?
Mother's little helper?
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:37 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
Second best story hidden in there: from the lady who's husband used to play a game with his friends where they would name a random object that you might find in someone's house -anywhere in the world- and he would have 60 seconds to find it in his mother's collection. (The skeletal remains does beat this.)
It is the responsibility of children and grand children to educate their elderly on modern slang - especially when it has been in use for 40ish years...
Don't take out your kink on your pets.
Also, the neat hoarder.
Best use of that style of kitch artwork I've seen ever... it scares the hell out of me in an uncanny valley way - hell put it in a jar sort of like a formaldehyde soaked specimen!
Who says Bronies can't keep up Regan-era ideals?
Mother's little helper?
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:37 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I can't be the only one who thought seashells in the bathroom was a Demolition Man joke?
posted by cottoncandybeard at 6:41 AM on November 24, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by cottoncandybeard at 6:41 AM on November 24, 2017 [12 favorites]
I read this thread last night and the CHICKEN story is my fave. Also enjoy hot Jesus who's about to say ’sup.
I don't really see this as mean-spirited, but maybe that's because I come from a family where people with tacky things know they are tacky and love them anyways?
I do see it as an interesting commentary on Boomers who chose suburbs with so much space and in general have been so fortunate that they just have mounds of stuff, compared to their kids who like cities and suffer stagnant wages and the different homes that result.
posted by dame at 7:03 AM on November 24, 2017 [10 favorites]
I don't really see this as mean-spirited, but maybe that's because I come from a family where people with tacky things know they are tacky and love them anyways?
I do see it as an interesting commentary on Boomers who chose suburbs with so much space and in general have been so fortunate that they just have mounds of stuff, compared to their kids who like cities and suffer stagnant wages and the different homes that result.
posted by dame at 7:03 AM on November 24, 2017 [10 favorites]
Flagged as fantastic. My sister made us get rid of the more ridiculous things from our parents house, like disproportional sculptures of molten silver mystery material and shit bought at Pier 1 Imports because we didn't know what to get them for Christmas that year.
posted by yoga at 7:07 AM on November 24, 2017
posted by yoga at 7:07 AM on November 24, 2017
People can are terrible enough generally, but publicly mocking your own family for sport on Thanksgiving? Why do this?There are a couple things I said to older relatives back in the day that still make me cringe to remember. In the moment they just seemed ... ordinary. I will offer a prediction--which is worth every penny you paid for it--that in thirty years they'll remember their cleverness with bitter remorse. Mostly when their own kids teleport home from the moons of Jupiter for the holidays and make fun of them.
As a parent whose kids are home for the holiday, right now I really sort of feel like shit because they've all decided that mocking me is their hilarious new tradition.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 7:08 AM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
I can't be the only one who thought seashells in the bathroom was a Demolition Man joke?
They also like to go to Taco Bell.
posted by lagomorphius at 7:34 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
They also like to go to Taco Bell.
posted by lagomorphius at 7:34 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I’m not * making fun * of my Mom when I mention she has like, a Jon Lennon shrine in her living room. I am merely recording the fact cause it’s kind of amazing?
What can I say we all have our Things.
posted by The Whelk at 7:37 AM on November 24, 2017 [7 favorites]
What can I say we all have our Things.
posted by The Whelk at 7:37 AM on November 24, 2017 [7 favorites]
We all have our Things, indeed.
My father collected weird old stuff of a specific sort. Both my parents are gone and my sister dislikes antiques. I am the last living member of two family lines. Hence...
My living room contains: nine assorted antique ship’s running and signal lights with red, green, white and blue lenses (blue was for WW II convoys), half a dozen mast hoops, a porthole from a Liberty ship, a late-war Japanese rifle including bayonet with original cosmoline grease, a grating from the deck of a sailing ship, three taffrail logs, two ship’s wheels, two flintlock pistols, a few swords, an entire binnacle with base, a bayonet from George Washington’s Hessian Horde... plus a 1909 A&P child’s coaster wagon, a jeweler’s scale, two nail kegs, a bunch of ice tongs and an enormous butcher’s knuckle cleaver. And that’s just a start.
Whenever the Mr. complains that we ought to sell things or donate to a museum or something, I seem to just break out the duster and Brasso. Sigh.
posted by kinnakeet at 8:18 AM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
My father collected weird old stuff of a specific sort. Both my parents are gone and my sister dislikes antiques. I am the last living member of two family lines. Hence...
My living room contains: nine assorted antique ship’s running and signal lights with red, green, white and blue lenses (blue was for WW II convoys), half a dozen mast hoops, a porthole from a Liberty ship, a late-war Japanese rifle including bayonet with original cosmoline grease, a grating from the deck of a sailing ship, three taffrail logs, two ship’s wheels, two flintlock pistols, a few swords, an entire binnacle with base, a bayonet from George Washington’s Hessian Horde... plus a 1909 A&P child’s coaster wagon, a jeweler’s scale, two nail kegs, a bunch of ice tongs and an enormous butcher’s knuckle cleaver. And that’s just a start.
Whenever the Mr. complains that we ought to sell things or donate to a museum or something, I seem to just break out the duster and Brasso. Sigh.
posted by kinnakeet at 8:18 AM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
The two that prominently feature Aunts, one in a photo and one.. shall we say indisposed .. had me howling with laughter.
posted by Faintdreams at 8:25 AM on November 24, 2017
posted by Faintdreams at 8:25 AM on November 24, 2017
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am not sure why you would not believe me but OK
I wouldn't say worshipping per se, but more chilling in the presence of.
The only reason I doubted was the scientifically documented atheism of pangolins, so I wanted more proof. Open mind, what?
posted by Samizdata at 8:35 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I am not sure why you would not believe me but OK
I wouldn't say worshipping per se, but more chilling in the presence of.
The only reason I doubted was the scientifically documented atheism of pangolins, so I wanted more proof. Open mind, what?
posted by Samizdata at 8:35 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Missed the window on this by a few years, but sandettie mater used to rock a 3-foot-tall liturgical candle on her coffee table.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:41 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:41 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
This is amazing and hilarious. Though I must say, courtesy of my spouse (and my stepdad's mother, who seems to pick out gifts with no reference to the giftee), we have quite a lot of odd stuff in our apartment - not in the bathroom, granted, but still.
posted by Jynnan Tonnyx at 8:45 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Jynnan Tonnyx at 8:45 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
All my weird shit lives in its own Cabinet of Curiosities.
posted by Paul Slade at 8:56 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by Paul Slade at 8:56 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
+10 Mefi points if you find Mefi's own Jessamyn's photo of her standing in front of a portrait of her younger self with a black eye.
posted by numaner at 8:58 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by numaner at 8:58 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Each time I see one of these threads, it's a reminder: There really are a lot of people with racist shit in their homes.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 9:01 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 9:01 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
There really are a lot of people with racist shit in their homes.
I could contribute to THAT thread considering my mom has several racist banks (you put the money in the black guy's hand, then he eats it) and Mammy doodads she got from my grandparents when they died.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:23 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I could contribute to THAT thread considering my mom has several racist banks (you put the money in the black guy's hand, then he eats it) and Mammy doodads she got from my grandparents when they died.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:23 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
My son is only 12 but someday he can mock me for the fake gorilla head, plastic pitcher of Mardi Gras beads, strange figurines and other random shit in our house right now. And I'm fine with that. I love weird stuff. Except taxidermy, thats a no go.
posted by emjaybee at 9:36 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by emjaybee at 9:36 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
the weirdest things in my current home are a collection of tiny plastic pugs which my friend susan sends me from england whilst pretending to be an anonymous tiny plastic pug benefactor, and a 5000 year old looted terracotta pot which is the subject of occasional idolatry.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:18 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by poffin boffin at 10:18 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Seashells Transform Suburban Bathroom
posted by The otter lady at 10:26 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 10:26 AM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
I love this thread so much. I think the vast majority of them are not meant to be mean-spirited. The kids obviously love their parents enough to be there on Thanksgiving, and the joke is that everyone's parents had/have some weird silly item that was likely a family joke growing up. Part of the joke to me is that we get sold this Pottery Barn vision of what Thanksgiving hosting looks like, and it's funny to do the reveal that real people's homes are flamingo bathrooms all the way down.
I also shamelessly love this sort of ethnography. I would love an entire book of guest bathrooms.
posted by nakedmolerats at 10:47 AM on November 24, 2017 [29 favorites]
I also shamelessly love this sort of ethnography. I would love an entire book of guest bathrooms.
posted by nakedmolerats at 10:47 AM on November 24, 2017 [29 favorites]
Metafilter: I've polished the otter
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:55 AM on November 24, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:55 AM on November 24, 2017 [5 favorites]
This thread is making me look at my own decor items with newly anxious eyes, but I think they're passable.
I almost feel left out that my mother has pretty good taste and is almost the reverse of a hoarder, who doesn't collect anything and weeds out things that become too dated and tacky, so that I can't contribute to this thread. Mum is almost a little too proactive this way. Years ago my mother had a china coin bank from Queen Elizabeth's silver jubilee in 1977. It was shaped like a crown and had a picture of the queen on it — ah, here's one exactly like it from eBay. I have a friend who collects British Royalty memorabilia and about twelve years ago I asked my mother if I could have the coin bank for my friend. (I hadn't seen the coin bank out on display since we moved in 1989 and I know that my mother can't stand to have things around that she doesn't use.) My mother looked at me in horror, and said, "I have such a thing?" I said I was absolutely sure she had had it, though I hadn't seen it in years. She said, "Well, if you can find it, take it." I searched thoroughly but couldn't find it. I bet it went to a thrift shop years before, or even in the garbage, which is a shame because my friend would have been delighted to get it. I'm glad that in my late twenties I made sure to get my Kermit the Frog mug that my favourite brother (who has since died) gave me the Christmas I was six and now have it safely in my own kitchen cupboard, as otherwise it would have been garage sale'd.
posted by orange swan at 11:13 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I almost feel left out that my mother has pretty good taste and is almost the reverse of a hoarder, who doesn't collect anything and weeds out things that become too dated and tacky, so that I can't contribute to this thread. Mum is almost a little too proactive this way. Years ago my mother had a china coin bank from Queen Elizabeth's silver jubilee in 1977. It was shaped like a crown and had a picture of the queen on it — ah, here's one exactly like it from eBay. I have a friend who collects British Royalty memorabilia and about twelve years ago I asked my mother if I could have the coin bank for my friend. (I hadn't seen the coin bank out on display since we moved in 1989 and I know that my mother can't stand to have things around that she doesn't use.) My mother looked at me in horror, and said, "I have such a thing?" I said I was absolutely sure she had had it, though I hadn't seen it in years. She said, "Well, if you can find it, take it." I searched thoroughly but couldn't find it. I bet it went to a thrift shop years before, or even in the garbage, which is a shame because my friend would have been delighted to get it. I'm glad that in my late twenties I made sure to get my Kermit the Frog mug that my favourite brother (who has since died) gave me the Christmas I was six and now have it safely in my own kitchen cupboard, as otherwise it would have been garage sale'd.
posted by orange swan at 11:13 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
My best friend has been decorating her home this year in a style we call "drunk sea-faring grandpa who's developed a taste for upsetting clown art", specifically so that her children will be able to look back on their childhood and say, "wow, my parents are weird as hell." I should definitely send her this Twitter thread.
posted by palomar at 11:17 AM on November 24, 2017 [10 favorites]
posted by palomar at 11:17 AM on November 24, 2017 [10 favorites]
When I was a kid we had one of these. Somebody gave it to my parents as a wedding present, or so they said. It drove me up the wall - how did they get the darned flowers in there???
posted by lagomorphius at 11:23 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 11:23 AM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I would love an entire book of guest bathrooms.
god. the fancy soaps that you weren't allowed to use. was this the source of my adulthood fancy bar soap addiction, prolly.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:43 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
god. the fancy soaps that you weren't allowed to use. was this the source of my adulthood fancy bar soap addiction, prolly.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:43 AM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
the fancy soaps that you weren't allowed to use.
One of the greatest victories I've ever achieved with my family was finally getting everyone to realize that we can and should enjoy the nice things we have in life and that this is ok.
The fancy bone china tea cups that we never use because it's only for guests (which even when they're around are not used), we started to enjoy and use on a day to day basis. The same for the extra fluffy towels and the fancy soap.
posted by Fizz at 11:56 AM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
One of the greatest victories I've ever achieved with my family was finally getting everyone to realize that we can and should enjoy the nice things we have in life and that this is ok.
The fancy bone china tea cups that we never use because it's only for guests (which even when they're around are not used), we started to enjoy and use on a day to day basis. The same for the extra fluffy towels and the fancy soap.
posted by Fizz at 11:56 AM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
If I were maybe 9 or 10 years younger I'd probably find some of the things in my parent's house weird, but most of it is kitschy stuff that my mom has kept or collected over the years, like cute stuffed animals, and nothing overtly "weird". My mom's only weird trait is that she hoards magazines and newspapers (not in an unhealthy way, mind you) because she's convinced that she'll get around to reading them someday.
posted by gucci mane at 11:57 AM on November 24, 2017
posted by gucci mane at 11:57 AM on November 24, 2017
Dear lord that flamingo bathroom! I'd be afraid to turn around in it from fear I'd break something.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:18 PM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:18 PM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
I keep my collection of sea shells, sea glass and beach tile in my living room. On a recent trip over seas I packed my suitcase with driftwood and rocks. They all hold memories of people I love and good times. I am of the age of most of the mocked but I have no kids so I don't give a shit. I do admit to hearing "oh, that is interesting" more than once, and why are you moving a box of rocks from a mover. It's because I love them. Mock away.
posted by cairnoflore at 12:27 PM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by cairnoflore at 12:27 PM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Don't mock my rocks or I'll clean your clock!
apologies to B.W.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:45 PM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
apologies to B.W.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:45 PM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
style we call "drunk sea-faring grandpa who's developed a taste for upsetting clown art"
Palomar, I aspire to a similar style, I call it 'that junk shop that sells you the magic item but you can never find it again, also deals in craft materials and Monster High'.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 12:55 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Palomar, I aspire to a similar style, I call it 'that junk shop that sells you the magic item but you can never find it again, also deals in craft materials and Monster High'.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 12:55 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
Parents? You should see what the SO did to our guest bathroom.
posted by Splunge at 1:00 PM on November 24, 2017
posted by Splunge at 1:00 PM on November 24, 2017
well??? it's been 30 minutes, where are the photos
posted by poffin boffin at 1:31 PM on November 24, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 1:31 PM on November 24, 2017 [7 favorites]
People can are terrible enough generally, but publicly mocking your own family for sport on Thanksgiving? Why do this?
I think it's mostly affectionate and it's worth remembering that there can be extenuating circumstances around weird shit in our parents' homes. I too have an aunt who collects elephants, and by that I mean thirty years ago she got an elephant sculpture that I guess she liked, and because she had one or two people decided she has an elephant boner and so now for decades people think "Hunh, Evelyn's birthday is coming up, what's a good gift? Elephants! She loooves elephants, her house is full of goddamn elephants. Sort of weird, actually. Oh well, if it's elephants she loves, it's elephants she'll get."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:19 PM on November 24, 2017 [14 favorites]
I think it's mostly affectionate and it's worth remembering that there can be extenuating circumstances around weird shit in our parents' homes. I too have an aunt who collects elephants, and by that I mean thirty years ago she got an elephant sculpture that I guess she liked, and because she had one or two people decided she has an elephant boner and so now for decades people think "Hunh, Evelyn's birthday is coming up, what's a good gift? Elephants! She loooves elephants, her house is full of goddamn elephants. Sort of weird, actually. Oh well, if it's elephants she loves, it's elephants she'll get."
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:19 PM on November 24, 2017 [14 favorites]
All my weird shit lives in its own Cabinet of Curiosities.
All your weird shit fits in a cabinet.
(I think this came up before when people were like *ew creppy mannequins ew ew ew* and I was like lamps hi)
posted by louche mustachio at 3:03 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
All your weird shit fits in a cabinet.
(I think this came up before when people were like *ew creppy mannequins ew ew ew* and I was like lamps hi)
posted by louche mustachio at 3:03 PM on November 24, 2017 [3 favorites]
My mom collects clocks. Many of which ding or chime or bong or cuckoo. None of which are set to the exact same time.
So one will start pinging or dinging the hour and gradually the rest join in. I dislike being there at noon or midnight.
posted by hilaryjade at 3:08 PM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
So one will start pinging or dinging the hour and gradually the rest join in. I dislike being there at noon or midnight.
posted by hilaryjade at 3:08 PM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
louche mustachio - are those mannequins converted into lamps, or lamps designed to look like mannequins?
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:11 PM on November 24, 2017
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:11 PM on November 24, 2017
Mannequins converted into lamps. They are made of a thicker version of milk carton plastic, so it was easy to insert LEDs into them.
They were acquired during a heady November week when one of my friends discovered a dumpster FULL of them, all new, some still in boxes. If you were into that sort of thing, it was like Halloween and Christmas rolled into one, and we were the happiest dumpster divers you ever saw, loading up vehicles with ghostly arms and legs and feet and headless torsos sticking out of windows and hatchbacks.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:23 PM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
They were acquired during a heady November week when one of my friends discovered a dumpster FULL of them, all new, some still in boxes. If you were into that sort of thing, it was like Halloween and Christmas rolled into one, and we were the happiest dumpster divers you ever saw, loading up vehicles with ghostly arms and legs and feet and headless torsos sticking out of windows and hatchbacks.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:23 PM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
Thanks to that thread I have been introduced to Jazz Loon.
Jazz Loon makes me oddly happy.
Thank you Jazz Loon and random twitter person who posted it.
posted by Jalliah at 3:24 PM on November 24, 2017 [16 favorites]
My mom collects clocks. Many of which ding or chime or bong or cuckoo.
"Bong or cuckoo" is my motto.
posted by pracowity at 3:35 PM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
"Bong or cuckoo" is my motto.
posted by pracowity at 3:35 PM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
TFW you remember that most people don't have unnaturally long hot pink mannequin legs hanging from their ceiling, not to mention the one in a lotus position with a wicker owl head that stares down at me while I work.
posted by aspersioncast at 4:07 PM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by aspersioncast at 4:07 PM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
How is Jazz Loon real
How is Jazz Loon not just an Achewood strip I accidentally skipped
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:08 PM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
How is Jazz Loon not just an Achewood strip I accidentally skipped
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:08 PM on November 24, 2017 [6 favorites]
"Bong or cuckoo" is my motto.
Is that because you go cuckoo if you don't get a bong hit every so often?
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:21 PM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
Is that because you go cuckoo if you don't get a bong hit every so often?
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:21 PM on November 24, 2017 [1 favorite]
UncleOzzy, something about your link went fakockda.
Jazz Loon is....not as unusual a thing as you might think. Paul Winter has long been jamming with animals - whales, wolves and seals, mostly. I will grant, however, that his music sort of...fits more with the call of the animal in question...
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:23 PM on November 24, 2017
Jazz Loon is....not as unusual a thing as you might think. Paul Winter has long been jamming with animals - whales, wolves and seals, mostly. I will grant, however, that his music sort of...fits more with the call of the animal in question...
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:23 PM on November 24, 2017
louche mustachio, that response (and accompanying mental image) absolutely surpassed my expectations. Thanks!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:23 PM on November 24, 2017
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:23 PM on November 24, 2017
And you've fixed that link while i was hunting for whale jams, clearly. Yay!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:23 PM on November 24, 2017
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:23 PM on November 24, 2017
Jazz Loon is WAY TOO REAL. As is Jazz Wolf, which is somehow worse.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:53 PM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by louche mustachio at 4:53 PM on November 24, 2017 [2 favorites]
I mean thirty years ago she got an elephant sculpture that I guess she liked, and because she had one or two people decided she has an elephant boner and so now for decades people think "Hunh, Evelyn's birthday is coming up, what's a good gift? Elephants! She loooves elephants, her house is full of goddamn elephants. Sort of weird, actually. Oh well, if it's elephants she loves, it's elephants she'll get."
I have a perpetually growing nutcracker collection for this very reason
At no point did I go "hey, nutcrackers, that's for me", but I get one every christmas
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:26 PM on November 24, 2017 [5 favorites]
I have a perpetually growing nutcracker collection for this very reason
At no point did I go "hey, nutcrackers, that's for me", but I get one every christmas
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:26 PM on November 24, 2017 [5 favorites]
I suppose it's not too late to drop an oldie but a goodie here.
posted by lagomorphius at 5:34 PM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 5:34 PM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
Amatueurs, most of them.
My mom started running a Goodwill store after she retired. I just walked around and counted 21 ceramic birds in the kitchen. There is a creche with 21 figures in the living room. She has 14 other creches (and is a Methodist.) She repairs and sort-of collects dolls, so one bedroom has 18 Barbies and 38 other dolls, ranging from turn-of-the century antiques to an in-box Cabbage Patch Doll to some oversize makeup Barbie. And that's just three rooms.
posted by ITravelMontana at 9:05 PM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
My mom started running a Goodwill store after she retired. I just walked around and counted 21 ceramic birds in the kitchen. There is a creche with 21 figures in the living room. She has 14 other creches (and is a Methodist.) She repairs and sort-of collects dolls, so one bedroom has 18 Barbies and 38 other dolls, ranging from turn-of-the century antiques to an in-box Cabbage Patch Doll to some oversize makeup Barbie. And that's just three rooms.
posted by ITravelMontana at 9:05 PM on November 24, 2017 [4 favorites]
"The kids obviously love their parents enough to be there on Thanksgiving, and the joke is that everyone's parents had/have some weird silly item that was likely a family joke growing up."
Or were from when they were younger and broker. My parents have lovely taste and a beautiful house, but when they were 30 and had two kids in a tiny starter home, they had a lot more random/cheap crap, and of course that's the stuff we kids got attached to. My mom had a spice rack that was trendy in 1975, tacky in 1985, and when she redid her kitchen in 1995 she pitched it because she was sick of it, TO MY UTTER HORROR. When I bought my first home I stalked ebay until I found one and paid like $150 for it. A kitchen can't feel like HOME to me without it!
When my sister got engaged I spent the whole year leading up to her wedding ebay-hunting for the exact matching model to give her as a wedding gift. It was the first thing she hung up in her new home too.
Anyway I think a lot of these things end up sticking around because they're from the years when people were newly married or had little kids and they're wrapped up in those memories, not because mom would choose the weird cut crystal sparkly sculpture de novo but because her middle child would stare at it for hours on end because she loved it so much, and mom loves that memory.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:27 PM on November 24, 2017 [14 favorites]
Or were from when they were younger and broker. My parents have lovely taste and a beautiful house, but when they were 30 and had two kids in a tiny starter home, they had a lot more random/cheap crap, and of course that's the stuff we kids got attached to. My mom had a spice rack that was trendy in 1975, tacky in 1985, and when she redid her kitchen in 1995 she pitched it because she was sick of it, TO MY UTTER HORROR. When I bought my first home I stalked ebay until I found one and paid like $150 for it. A kitchen can't feel like HOME to me without it!
When my sister got engaged I spent the whole year leading up to her wedding ebay-hunting for the exact matching model to give her as a wedding gift. It was the first thing she hung up in her new home too.
Anyway I think a lot of these things end up sticking around because they're from the years when people were newly married or had little kids and they're wrapped up in those memories, not because mom would choose the weird cut crystal sparkly sculpture de novo but because her middle child would stare at it for hours on end because she loved it so much, and mom loves that memory.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:27 PM on November 24, 2017 [14 favorites]
Yes, Eyebrows McGee wins this thread for me. That's exactly why I have a collection of blue pottery that I've never deeply asked myself if I even like it, but mom's been collecting blue pottery since I was in kindergarten, and tagging along behind her to garage sales and flea markets looking for "junk" is a memory. She also likes porcelain but only after reading Eyebrows did I realize why her choices were in the $1 to $3 category of pricing - us kids.
posted by infini at 7:14 AM on November 25, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by infini at 7:14 AM on November 25, 2017 [2 favorites]
some oversize makeup Barbie
My mom found one of those things at a yard sale and bought it for my niece. Every time I visited I had to sleep in the same room with it.
posted by lagomorphius at 2:42 PM on November 25, 2017
My mom found one of those things at a yard sale and bought it for my niece. Every time I visited I had to sleep in the same room with it.
posted by lagomorphius at 2:42 PM on November 25, 2017
+10 Mefi points if you find Mefi's own Jessamyn's photo of her standing in front of a portrait of her younger self with a black eye.
Yes! My mother is dead, so it is fine to make fun of her in someone else's Twitter replies. We had a lot of photographers in the family so my sister and I had a lot of nice pictures taken of us when we were smaller. This one was taken by my great uncle and was blown up to a fairly large size for a photo at the time (very early 70s). I get why my mom liked it, it's certainly interesting. However, if you are a kid whose parent has ever laid a hand on you and the only large photo of you is one with a black eye (I had fallen out of a chair, the black eye was not inflicted by a person), I feel okay saying "Wow that is super fucked up." My mom and I talked about it when she was alive. She thought it was sweet. She doesn't at all see why it could seem menacing or creepy. That is just who she was. And so that photo is part of my story now, not hers. There are many many worse things I could have chosen.
posted by jessamyn at 7:17 AM on November 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
Yes! My mother is dead, so it is fine to make fun of her in someone else's Twitter replies. We had a lot of photographers in the family so my sister and I had a lot of nice pictures taken of us when we were smaller. This one was taken by my great uncle and was blown up to a fairly large size for a photo at the time (very early 70s). I get why my mom liked it, it's certainly interesting. However, if you are a kid whose parent has ever laid a hand on you and the only large photo of you is one with a black eye (I had fallen out of a chair, the black eye was not inflicted by a person), I feel okay saying "Wow that is super fucked up." My mom and I talked about it when she was alive. She thought it was sweet. She doesn't at all see why it could seem menacing or creepy. That is just who she was. And so that photo is part of my story now, not hers. There are many many worse things I could have chosen.
posted by jessamyn at 7:17 AM on November 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
When I saw this, I was tempted to participate, but (1) there's not enough time in a day to photograph everything that falls into the genre and (2) we had a Thanksgiving weekend with no emotion ketchup bursts and I was sure as hell not going to be the one who splattered that particular packet.
posted by plinth at 7:49 AM on November 27, 2017
posted by plinth at 7:49 AM on November 27, 2017
Eyebrows, my mom has that same spice rack!! The one with the strange recipes on the front. Does this mean it's actually worth something?
posted by orrnyereg at 10:08 AM on November 27, 2017
posted by orrnyereg at 10:08 AM on November 27, 2017
My SO's sister had one of those giant makeup-head Barbies in the 80s, and I cannot encounter mention of one without recalling the horrible fate it met. I don't know all the details, but apparently their mom found it behind the garage one day, covered in dirt and literally filled with bees...
posted by aecorwin at 12:13 PM on November 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by aecorwin at 12:13 PM on November 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
My SO's sister had one of those giant makeup-head Barbies in the 80s, and I cannot encounter mention of one without recalling the horrible fate it met.
My niece got one of those a few Christmases back; it was the "special Christmas Eve present" she opened up the night before she went to bed. The kids going to bed meant that my brother and sister-in-law could also put away the Elf On The Shelf, a thing which they hate with a fiery passion (it was given them by a well-meaning neighbor). So they were a bit giddy, and we had a bottle of wine open.
So we spent the next hour and a half taking a series of staged photos of the Elf on the Shelf motorboating Barbie.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:35 PM on November 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
My niece got one of those a few Christmases back; it was the "special Christmas Eve present" she opened up the night before she went to bed. The kids going to bed meant that my brother and sister-in-law could also put away the Elf On The Shelf, a thing which they hate with a fiery passion (it was given them by a well-meaning neighbor). So they were a bit giddy, and we had a bottle of wine open.
So we spent the next hour and a half taking a series of staged photos of the Elf on the Shelf motorboating Barbie.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:35 PM on November 28, 2017 [1 favorite]
Never mind parents. I don't have kids yet but am ACTIVELY AIMING for this aesthetic.
Sod ALL of these people who think this stuff is naff, and sod their ikea-and-white homes. I'd much rather both live in and visit somewhere weird and wonderful.
posted by greenish at 8:13 AM on December 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
Sod ALL of these people who think this stuff is naff, and sod their ikea-and-white homes. I'd much rather both live in and visit somewhere weird and wonderful.
posted by greenish at 8:13 AM on December 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
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posted by faceplantingcheetah at 1:31 AM on November 24, 2017 [11 favorites]