I'm not winning!
November 29, 2017 9:02 AM Subscribe
frankly I'm beginning to think those terribly rude humans are opposed to the very concepts of free speech and reasoned debate.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:22 AM on November 29, 2017 [20 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:22 AM on November 29, 2017 [20 favorites]
YCTAB: I'm trying to edge past you with my arms in the air.
posted by biogeo at 9:31 AM on November 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 9:31 AM on November 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
I visited the amazingly lavish Marine Mammal Center in Marin last month, which is where any injured sea lion or seal found in California gets taken. Christ, those buggers have better healthcare than I do. Each one gets a private room with its own pool and unlimited sushi.
posted by w0mbat at 9:34 AM on November 29, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by w0mbat at 9:34 AM on November 29, 2017 [7 favorites]
Thanks YCTaB, today I learned: "Roaaaah!" in Sea Lion translates as "Well, actually."
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:34 AM on November 29, 2017 [15 favorites]
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:34 AM on November 29, 2017 [15 favorites]
He's just asking questions!
posted by asteria at 9:43 AM on November 29, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by asteria at 9:43 AM on November 29, 2017 [4 favorites]
Just witnessed this giant seal being chased out the door of a fishmongers shop in Wicklow town.
posted by Think_Long at 9:46 AM on November 29, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Think_Long at 9:46 AM on November 29, 2017 [6 favorites]
Based on my experience here on California's Central Coast, I'd say the best way to work with a sea lion (reasonable or not) is to send in a committee of (at least 10) otters...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:48 AM on November 29, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:48 AM on November 29, 2017 [4 favorites]
I took a screenshot for anybody not able to watch YouTube at work.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:52 AM on November 29, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by uncleozzy at 9:52 AM on November 29, 2017 [13 favorites]
When kayaking, I once got too close to a herd of sea lions sunning on a rock. Suddenly five of them all jumped into the water and started coming toward me in a line with their bodies raised halfway out of the water. It was scary! Fastest I've ever paddled backwards.
posted by borsboom at 9:58 AM on November 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by borsboom at 9:58 AM on November 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
I'm not winning! I'm not winning!
posted by WaterAndPixels at 10:05 AM on November 29, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by WaterAndPixels at 10:05 AM on November 29, 2017 [5 favorites]
Some people say you can get tired of that much winning.
posted by maudlin at 10:07 AM on November 29, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by maudlin at 10:07 AM on November 29, 2017 [4 favorites]
ive seen tramps and hobos do this for years
am i a sea lion?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:10 AM on November 29, 2017
am i a sea lion?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:10 AM on November 29, 2017
When kayaking, I once got too close to a herd of sea lions sunning on a rock. Suddenly five of them all jumped into the water and started coming toward me in a line with their bodies raised halfway out of the water. It was scary! Fastest I've ever paddled backwards.
I had a territorial seal (pupping season) jump out of the water onto the middle section of tandem kayak once. We capsized. It swam a little ways away and eyed us until we got back in the boat and left. The whole experience was positively terrifying.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:10 AM on November 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
I had a territorial seal (pupping season) jump out of the water onto the middle section of tandem kayak once. We capsized. It swam a little ways away and eyed us until we got back in the boat and left. The whole experience was positively terrifying.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:10 AM on November 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
This is what my cat does when I try to take the milk bottle top thingie away from her.
posted by xingcat at 10:23 AM on November 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by xingcat at 10:23 AM on November 29, 2017 [2 favorites]
I visited the amazingly lavish Marine Mammal Center in Marin last month, which is where any injured sea lion or seal found in California gets taken.
I've taken a boat ride out to the Farallon Islands and people from the Marine Mammal Center brought rehabbed sea lions and an Elephant Seal pup out there in dog crates and released them near the islands.
posted by larrybob at 10:58 AM on November 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
I've taken a boat ride out to the Farallon Islands and people from the Marine Mammal Center brought rehabbed sea lions and an Elephant Seal pup out there in dog crates and released them near the islands.
posted by larrybob at 10:58 AM on November 29, 2017 [3 favorites]
This guy also not winning: Sea lions swarm fish boat.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 2:04 PM on November 29, 2017
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 2:04 PM on November 29, 2017
Ok you know what
Once upon a time when I was a sweet and spunky little preteen I went to the San Diego zoo with my dad for a jollly day out. We decided to catch one of the marine animal shows and I, being sweet and spunky (and dressed in extremely bright clothing because it was the 90s), was selected to be the crowd sourced assistant the show.
Naturally I was thrilled. I hung out with some penguins, maybe some sort of other sea bird, and everything was just fine and dandy until the zookeeper was like, “Looks like you’re ready to meet Frank!”
Frank was a fucking giant sea lion. Everyone in the crowd is cheering and hollering because wow isn’t that neat she gets to be so close to a sea lion
No
No you don’t understand
Sea lions are enormous
They look it
They smell it
And no matter how tall you are they just seem to dwarf you once they get close enough for you to count the whiskers on their muzzle
I started backing away just as the zookeeper shouts “Hi, Frank! Come give Hermione a HUG!!!”
And Frank, dear sweet amiable Frank, rears up, lumbers foward, and just sort of slaps his upper body into mine before gamely wrapping his oily flippers around me like some burly football player
Except this football player smells like seafood and oil and god knows what else and his body and jaws could crush my skull and my little girly neck and oh my god is he going to lick me wait is he smooshing his muzzle up to my neck oh my god hems going to kiss me he is going to be my first kiss
And I kept standing there in this profound shock and fear that I can’t even move until finally one of the other zookeepers realizes I’ve gone into rigormortis prematurely and excuses me from the stage
For YEARS after this I couldn’t go near anything that even remotely resembled a sea lion
I mean I even had heart palpitations whenever I saw Bear in the Big Blue House because the guy in the bear suit moved in such a way that all I could see was Frank, big, amiable, unspeakably huge Frank dancing and singing along to the theme song of the show leaving me in abject terror for hours after
So I don’t care what mood a sea lion is in
Get the fuck away from it stat so it can’t steal your soul by gathering you into a bear hug and absorbing all your life energy and will to live
posted by Hermione Granger at 3:26 PM on November 29, 2017 [20 favorites]
Once upon a time when I was a sweet and spunky little preteen I went to the San Diego zoo with my dad for a jollly day out. We decided to catch one of the marine animal shows and I, being sweet and spunky (and dressed in extremely bright clothing because it was the 90s), was selected to be the crowd sourced assistant the show.
Naturally I was thrilled. I hung out with some penguins, maybe some sort of other sea bird, and everything was just fine and dandy until the zookeeper was like, “Looks like you’re ready to meet Frank!”
Frank was a fucking giant sea lion. Everyone in the crowd is cheering and hollering because wow isn’t that neat she gets to be so close to a sea lion
No
No you don’t understand
Sea lions are enormous
They look it
They smell it
And no matter how tall you are they just seem to dwarf you once they get close enough for you to count the whiskers on their muzzle
I started backing away just as the zookeeper shouts “Hi, Frank! Come give Hermione a HUG!!!”
And Frank, dear sweet amiable Frank, rears up, lumbers foward, and just sort of slaps his upper body into mine before gamely wrapping his oily flippers around me like some burly football player
Except this football player smells like seafood and oil and god knows what else and his body and jaws could crush my skull and my little girly neck and oh my god is he going to lick me wait is he smooshing his muzzle up to my neck oh my god hems going to kiss me he is going to be my first kiss
And I kept standing there in this profound shock and fear that I can’t even move until finally one of the other zookeepers realizes I’ve gone into rigormortis prematurely and excuses me from the stage
For YEARS after this I couldn’t go near anything that even remotely resembled a sea lion
I mean I even had heart palpitations whenever I saw Bear in the Big Blue House because the guy in the bear suit moved in such a way that all I could see was Frank, big, amiable, unspeakably huge Frank dancing and singing along to the theme song of the show leaving me in abject terror for hours after
So I don’t care what mood a sea lion is in
Get the fuck away from it stat so it can’t steal your soul by gathering you into a bear hug and absorbing all your life energy and will to live
posted by Hermione Granger at 3:26 PM on November 29, 2017 [20 favorites]
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posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:20 AM on November 29, 2017 [59 favorites]