Honk if you're stroppy
November 30, 2017 6:39 AM Subscribe
Top item on reddit right now: Cows v. Goose (gifv)
posted by bonehead at 6:42 AM on November 30, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by bonehead at 6:42 AM on November 30, 2017 [4 favorites]
Ha, the video source of that gif was supposed to be one of the links but I must have lost it somehow. Pretend it was in there.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:47 AM on November 30, 2017
posted by uncleozzy at 6:47 AM on November 30, 2017
It's all good. That this thread stands as a document to the terroristic tendencies of B. canadensis is enough for me.
posted by bonehead at 6:59 AM on November 30, 2017
posted by bonehead at 6:59 AM on November 30, 2017
Canadian geese aren't actually birds, but the projected avatar of a nation's collective sublimated irritation and anger.
posted by zamboni at 7:45 AM on November 30, 2017 [9 favorites]
posted by zamboni at 7:45 AM on November 30, 2017 [9 favorites]
For one thing, their eyesight is incredible. Not just when measured against dogs, but measured against humans too. Thanks to an extra light sensor in their eyes, geese can see further and in clearer detail than any of us could ever hope to. They’re also super-territorial and—unlike dogs—can’t be paid off with a packet of biscuits you happen to be carrying. Try and distract a goose and it just honks louder, alerting the nameless goons next door to their incoming comeuppance.Why geese are better guards then dogs.
posted by rongorongo at 8:07 AM on November 30, 2017
Excellent Youtube comment on the man vs. goose clip:
This video teaches several things.posted by Pfardentrott at 9:10 AM on November 30, 2017 [5 favorites]
First, don't walk towards a goose, as this can be interpreted as an aggressive action.
Don't look at the goose, as, again, this can be interpreted as an aggressive action.
Don't look away from the goose, as, again, this can be interpreted as an aggressive action.
Finally, don't exist. Existence can be interpreted as an aggressive action.
We've had a group that must have been hand raised frequenting our pond. They are completely unafraid of humans, and coo at you. They'll take grass and stuff right out of your hand. It's really cute.
It's also a little bizarre because there's about 60 others that have been marauding in our pastures all summer. They're absolute jerks who run the ducks off their breakfast unless you stand there to defend them. They ceaselessly honk and fuss and carry on to the point where I begin to consider breaking my no pets rule and getting a dog to keep them away.
posted by ob1quixote at 9:39 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
It's also a little bizarre because there's about 60 others that have been marauding in our pastures all summer. They're absolute jerks who run the ducks off their breakfast unless you stand there to defend them. They ceaselessly honk and fuss and carry on to the point where I begin to consider breaking my no pets rule and getting a dog to keep them away.
posted by ob1quixote at 9:39 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
That goose has a longstanding beef with that elephant (discussed here.)
posted by Johnny Assay at 11:01 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Johnny Assay at 11:01 AM on November 30, 2017 [1 favorite]
One Time I Punched A Goose Right Out Of The Air
-President and CEO of the Audubon Society David Yarnold
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:41 AM on November 30, 2017
-President and CEO of the Audubon Society David Yarnold
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:41 AM on November 30, 2017
I know a lot of them are just trying to protect their children or whatever but on the other hand I have never met a Canada goose that didn't 100% deserve a throatpunch
posted by Ornate Rocksnail at 3:12 PM on November 30, 2017
posted by Ornate Rocksnail at 3:12 PM on November 30, 2017
Okay between that Man vs. Canada Goose video and the Onion article, I'm crying with laughter.
Geese are cranky assholes, but swans are truly terrifying. They are freaking enormous. I once was walking with friends along a nice riverside path in a beautiful park when suddenly, walking towards us on the path, upright and menacing, was a gigantic ass swan. We all gave it an enormous berth because it looked like it could take our heads off.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:53 PM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
Geese are cranky assholes, but swans are truly terrifying. They are freaking enormous. I once was walking with friends along a nice riverside path in a beautiful park when suddenly, walking towards us on the path, upright and menacing, was a gigantic ass swan. We all gave it an enormous berth because it looked like it could take our heads off.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:53 PM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]
ob1quixote: “We've had a group that must have been hand raised frequenting our pond.”I forgot until this afternoon there's video evidence of their friendliness and cuteness.
posted by ob1quixote at 5:31 PM on December 9, 2017
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posted by Literaryhero at 6:42 AM on November 30, 2017 [2 favorites]