Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash
December 13, 2017 4:37 AM Subscribe
Ron's Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself.
posted by Scattercat at 5:06 AM on December 13, 2017 [18 favorites]
posted by Scattercat at 5:06 AM on December 13, 2017 [18 favorites]
“The Great Hall was filled with incredible moaning chandeliers and a large librarian who had decorated the sinks with books about masonry. Mountains of mice exploded.”
That sounds about right.
posted by acb at 5:08 AM on December 13, 2017 [6 favorites]
That sounds about right.
posted by acb at 5:08 AM on December 13, 2017 [6 favorites]
In all fairness, if Ron is one of those weirdos who'd wear a shirt with his face printed on it, that is pretty bad.
posted by acb at 5:09 AM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by acb at 5:09 AM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
"It was going to be hard not to have spiders all over his body after all was said and done"
Okay, now they're just stealing Rowling's crib notes.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 5:15 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
Okay, now they're just stealing Rowling's crib notes.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 5:15 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
Is it just me or is this too perfect to be a predictive algorithm? (I really don't know. Someone please enlighten me.)
posted by bigendian at 5:18 AM on December 13, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by bigendian at 5:18 AM on December 13, 2017 [8 favorites]
One of the makers of the text mentioned on Twitter that they had multiple people playing predictive text, they pasted together the best bits, and added text for continuity and flow.
posted by idiopath at 5:24 AM on December 13, 2017 [17 favorites]
posted by idiopath at 5:24 AM on December 13, 2017 [17 favorites]
One of the contributors is the former head writer for Clickhole, so I think it's a million monkeys plus a good editor giving us these results.
posted by Shepherd at 5:40 AM on December 13, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by Shepherd at 5:40 AM on December 13, 2017 [8 favorites]
"We're the only people who matter. He's never going to get rid of us," Harry, Hermione, and Ron said in a chorus.
Who are characters thankful they're not being written by G.R.R. Martin?
posted by DigDoug at 5:43 AM on December 13, 2017 [8 favorites]
Who are characters thankful they're not being written by G.R.R. Martin?
posted by DigDoug at 5:43 AM on December 13, 2017 [8 favorites]
saw this on twitter yesterday and scared some nice people on the subway with involuntary laughter
The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: "You are Hagrid now."
posted by lazaruslong at 6:06 AM on December 13, 2017 [12 favorites]
The pig of Hufflepuff pulsed like a large bullfrog. Dumbledore smiled at it, and placed his hand on its head: "You are Hagrid now."
posted by lazaruslong at 6:06 AM on December 13, 2017 [12 favorites]
I find it interesting that both Ron and Harry are apparently into cannibalism now, with a specific focus on Hermonie and her family.
And, in all honesty, the Death Eaters seem like a most reasonable group.
posted by nubs at 6:21 AM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
And, in all honesty, the Death Eaters seem like a most reasonable group.
posted by nubs at 6:21 AM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
Mountains of mice exploded. Several long pumpkins fell out of McGonagall.
So many questions.
posted by zarq at 6:25 AM on December 13, 2017 [9 favorites]
So many questions.
posted by zarq at 6:25 AM on December 13, 2017 [9 favorites]
I would pay top dollar to see this animated or acted out, especially the death eater scene.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:38 AM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:38 AM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
I can't get them to load right now, but the apps to make the narration and dialogue are both available online.
posted by capricorn at 6:41 AM on December 13, 2017
posted by capricorn at 6:41 AM on December 13, 2017
Ron was going to be spiders. He just was.
posted by Fig at 6:47 AM on December 13, 2017 [16 favorites]
posted by Fig at 6:47 AM on December 13, 2017 [16 favorites]
brb, I have to change all my passwords..
posted by Horkus at 7:36 AM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Horkus at 7:36 AM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Oh, my God. The Botnik studios twitter feed is amazing. I love these important Halloween safety tips.
posted by yankeefog at 8:20 AM on December 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by yankeefog at 8:20 AM on December 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
"If you two can't clump happily, I'm going to get aggressive," confessed the reasonable Hermione.
It me.
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:27 AM on December 13, 2017 [7 favorites]
It me.
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:27 AM on December 13, 2017 [7 favorites]
Is Hermione a mod?
posted by Segundus at 8:39 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Segundus at 8:39 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
There will always be new forms of art.
posted by AlSweigart at 10:10 AM on December 13, 2017
posted by AlSweigart at 10:10 AM on December 13, 2017
I believe one of the contributors is also the person behind Object Dreams which also never fails to make me laugh until I am hyperventilating/crying/feeling a great overreaction.
To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds.
posted by jeudi at 10:21 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds.
posted by jeudi at 10:21 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
In case I ever am at a meetup, be warned that my new way of saying "hello" is now "The dark arts better be worried, oh boy!"
posted by sgranade at 10:23 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by sgranade at 10:23 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
Magic: it was something that Harry Potter thought was very good.
posted by nubs at 10:28 AM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by nubs at 10:28 AM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
In all fairness, if Ron is one of those weirdos who'd wear a shirt with his face printed on it, that is pretty bad.
i picture it as not just a shirt with his face on it but beneath the face it says RON! in an annoying typeface that is nevertheless neither comic sans nor papyrus
posted by poffin boffin at 11:47 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
i picture it as not just a shirt with his face on it but beneath the face it says RON! in an annoying typeface that is nevertheless neither comic sans nor papyrus
posted by poffin boffin at 11:47 AM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird.
this... is a surprisingly good summation of how i feel about ron as a character (i do not like ron as a character).
posted by halation at 11:59 AM on December 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
this... is a surprisingly good summation of how i feel about ron as a character (i do not like ron as a character).
posted by halation at 11:59 AM on December 13, 2017 [3 favorites]
Previously, I wrote a bit about botnik’s tools and process.
As before, you can try out their keyboard models for yourself: Harry Potter Narration and Harry Potter Dialogue. Their GitHub repo has some instructions.
posted by mbrubeck at 2:37 PM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
As before, you can try out their keyboard models for yourself: Harry Potter Narration and Harry Potter Dialogue. Their GitHub repo has some instructions.
posted by mbrubeck at 2:37 PM on December 13, 2017 [2 favorites]
i picture it as not just a shirt with his face on it but beneath the face it says RON! in an annoying typeface that is nevertheless neither comic sans nor papyrus
Cooper Black then?
posted by acb at 2:55 PM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Cooper Black then?
posted by acb at 2:55 PM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
More extremely good fanart on Twitter from @sketchshark.
posted by skymt at 4:58 PM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by skymt at 4:58 PM on December 13, 2017 [4 favorites]
Ah, yes, the Scrubs predictive text experiment! I thought this sounded incredibly familiar.
posted by itesser at 5:29 PM on December 13, 2017
posted by itesser at 5:29 PM on December 13, 2017
Does anyone know the maximum practical size of the corpus? I may have six million words of terrible SA goon flash fiction at my disposal...
posted by Sebmojo at 6:33 PM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Sebmojo at 6:33 PM on December 13, 2017 [1 favorite]
Sebmojo, you remind me that however many years there are of Penthouse Forum letters would be a hell of a training corpus.
McGonagall dropping pumpkins, indeed.
posted by rokusan at 6:24 AM on December 14, 2017 [1 favorite]
McGonagall dropping pumpkins, indeed.
posted by rokusan at 6:24 AM on December 14, 2017 [1 favorite]
Even putting just one Lovecraft novella in last night yielded hilarious results. I tried to put all of the Silmarillion in, but it was taking a very long time to process.
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:52 AM on December 14, 2017
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:52 AM on December 14, 2017
Even putting just one Lovecraft novella in last night yielded hilarious results.
fics or it didn't happen
posted by murphy slaw at 6:59 AM on December 14, 2017 [6 favorites]
fics or it didn't happen
posted by murphy slaw at 6:59 AM on December 14, 2017 [6 favorites]
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posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 4:44 AM on December 13, 2017 [6 favorites]