Fencing Reflex Connects Life and Death

April 11, 2018 5:33 AM

The beginning of life and the beginning of death have such similarities. In Buddhism, we say the entering and leaving of a life is with great pain and with disruptions in the brain. In the beginning, we leave behind all memories of the past, in the end, we revisit the past before we move onward. This story is not a Buddhist one, but it reminds me of a Buddhist description in the science of what reflex and reaction in babies and those close to the end of life does suggest the entry and exit of life to be similar in brain.
posted by Yellow (8 comments total)

thank you for sharing this beautiful piece of writing.
posted by 15L06 at 5:43 AM on April 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

I cried.
posted by PMdixon at 5:53 AM on April 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

"Over and over again his arm gathered in and uncurled, taking in the scope of the room."

My father died 11 years ago today, and the distinct memory of his hand movements when he was going out, in so much pain, still haunt me. If I happen to be in bed and for some reason curl my arm up to my face in the way described, I can't help but think of him. I never thought of it as some universal reflex. This was a wonderful and difficult read for me today.
posted by HumanComplex at 7:34 AM on April 11, 2018 [4 favorites]

I worked in a nursing home as an adolescent and this piece gave me a sense of relief that during those moments when a passing persons hands clutch and writhe, they aren't clutching or grasping at this world...they're scraping away the dew so they can be welcomed into the next.

Very moving piece.
posted by Dillionaire at 8:35 AM on April 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

This is beautiful and moving. My mother and father died within two weeks of each other after a terrible car crash (not their fault--I still feel the need to say that even after two years). My dad died first--I was on my way to the hospital--and I sat by his bed and held his hand after he was gone and talked to him for a while. He and I were closer than my mother and I. I was holding my mother's hand when she died and I closed her eyes afterward. This writing brought tears to my eyes and I am reminded that I need to find a therapist. Thank you for linking to it.
posted by byjingo! at 10:02 AM on April 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

A wonderful piece, thanks for sharing. I was with both of my parents as they passed to whatever comes next. It's comforting to know that we make the same motions before birth and death as if both are passages to something new.
posted by skepticbill at 10:14 AM on April 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Unexpectedly moving, and it got dusty in here.
posted by achrise at 10:17 AM on April 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Wow, this was beautiful, thanks for sharing. As a midwife, I am privileged to be involved with some of the most intimate moments of people's lives and have often thought of working in hospice as well as pregnancy, as they seem like the two edges of the curve bending back to form a circle. I never thought about the connection between reflex onset and return, though, and am awed by his insight. Thanks again.
posted by stillmoving at 1:36 PM on April 11, 2018 [4 favorites]