Harry Potter spoilers (SLYT)

August 21, 2018 10:21 PM

Austin McConnell's wife has been reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and she's just gotten to the huge spoilers!
posted by colin.jaquiery (38 comments total)

Oh, please, we had someone yell out that spoiler within a few minutes of getting the book at midnightish at the bookstore on the day of release.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:47 PM on August 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

I know it's cool to be like "oh of course I saw it coming because the Hero's Journey, blah blah blah" but I did not at all see it coming, and my reaction was pretty similar to this lady's.
posted by lunasol at 10:59 PM on August 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

Oh my goodness they are both so adorable and sweet. I just want to hug them both.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 11:20 PM on August 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

Oh, please, we had someone yell out that spoiler within a few minutes of getting the book at midnightish at the bookstore on the day of release.

People who do that can jump in a lake, such a shitty thing to do.
posted by Pendragon at 1:16 AM on August 22, 2018 [11 favorites]

Yeah. A friend of mine was in line outside a book store to buy that installment and somebody did a drive by. They literally drove past the store and yelled the spoiler out the window as they rode past. Kids in the line and everything. I'm generally not a spoiler averse person, but fuck that guy.
posted by brundlefly at 3:13 AM on August 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

There's definitely a difference between "we are discussing this work as people fully aware of its contents" and "fuck you, I am robbing you of the enjoyment of discovery in order to attain the joy of an act of dominance over you."
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:37 AM on August 22, 2018 [12 favorites]

I'm not a lip reader, but I was watching this without sound at first (hoping it would have subtitles the whole time) and I could completely read her saying "I'm so upset!"
posted by doctornecessiter at 5:07 AM on August 22, 2018

Oh my gosh, the "do you want ice cream?" at the end slayed me. What a sweet couple.

My younger sister and I went and bought Half-Blood Prince at midnight when it came out, and through sheer bad luck as she flipped through the book while waiting in line, she read that line and spoiled it for herself. She got major points for not telling me until I'd finished the book.
posted by SeedStitch at 5:37 AM on August 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I seriously thought they were joking at the time and did not pay much attention beyond rolling my eyes.
Six hours later: "ohhhhhhh."
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:48 AM on August 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

I predicted Dumbledore's death at the end of book 6 many books prior, but not who killed him. And honestly it wasn't like I wasn't as upset when he died even expecting it. (Not the most upsetting death in that series for me, though.)
posted by jeather at 6:09 AM on August 22, 2018

Am I the only one a little creeped out by the guy filming his wife's reaction, knowing himself what was coming, then putting it out on YouTube? I wondered if, should he get access to a time machine, he'd show up at a screening of Old Yeller with a number of young children attending.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:24 AM on August 22, 2018 [13 favorites]

Man, if I filmed grumpybearbride reading a book and asked "WHAT HAPPENED IN THE CHAPTER?? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED?" she would put me in a cannon and shoot me to the moon.

And that is just one of the reasons I love her so very much.
posted by grumpybear69 at 6:35 AM on August 22, 2018 [10 favorites]

Halloween Jack, you’re not the only one. And like - he’s sounding sympathetic and all, but also, he knows he is filming! If my husband filmed my private reactions to things to put on the internet, I would 100% be attorney shopping right now.
posted by corb at 6:46 AM on August 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I had the book spoiled by World of Warcraft, of all things. Tons of spam posts in the forums with the spoiler as the subject line, and tons of level 1 alts hanging out in the major cities and leveling zones /yelling the spoiler. Oh well. Still love HP forever.
posted by lazaruslong at 7:02 AM on August 22, 2018

I brought my older child to the Warner Studios Harry Potter exhibition in England this summer. There were only two children in our touring group (both 8) and the guide asked at the start how far into the series they were. The other child was on book/movie 5, but mine is only half way through book 3. The guide made sure for the rest of our 3 hour tour to not spoil anything for either child. She did it so skillfully and carefully, ensuring that the adults in the tour got all the necessary information, while gliding over any big reveals. I really appreciated that as it leaves so much discovery for us ahead!
posted by recklessbrother at 7:36 AM on August 22, 2018 [23 favorites]

Yeah, I had the book spoiled by World of Warcraft, of all things.

Hah, me too. Except at the time I couldn’t give a shit about HP so I found the whole situation hilarious.
posted by sideshow at 7:45 AM on August 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

tons of level 1 alts hanging out in the major cities and leveling zones /yelling the spoiler

Oh my god, that was so annoying. I had already finished the book when I logged on, or I would have been SO ANGRY. I know a few more people who got spoiled in WoW. You have to be a complete jerk to do that, or the driveby shouting.
posted by gemmy at 8:28 AM on August 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I do not remember what I did for book 6, but I did stay up all night before a family trip (driving, not me as the driver) finishing book 7. I have enough trouble avoiding TV spoilers now, I must have just stayed offline entirely.
posted by jeather at 8:37 AM on August 22, 2018

I never really believed it was true that he died. Like, he's coming back, right? Magic.... ?

Right?
posted by slipthought at 8:48 AM on August 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

I had someone spoil that through an email subject line to an email list.

I still haven't forgiven her.
posted by bshort at 9:03 AM on August 22, 2018

I would have found it infuriating if someone was talking to me about my reactions during an intense part of a book. I'm not sure whether filming and broadcasting would have made it worse.

On the other hand, she seemed to be alright with it.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 9:10 AM on August 22, 2018

Dumbledore dies?
posted by Segundus at 9:36 AM on August 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

I am literally in the middle of the movie today. Had to stop before the end to do stuff. I know about Dumbledore dying though because when my child got to that part in the book a while ago he was a bit sad and even cried a bit... Also doesn't at least one major character die in each book starting with Order if the Phoenix?
posted by thefool at 9:57 AM on August 22, 2018

Sorry. No amount of ice-cream will ever make up for that sofa.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 11:36 AM on August 22, 2018

Livejournal spoiled it for me, but it later offered links to download book 7, so all is well. :)
posted by luckynerd at 12:46 PM on August 22, 2018

It's all right, he's still giving all the infodumps in Book 7, instead of Snape, who would have been the logical choice, and yes, I am still bitter TEN YEARS later, thanks for asking.
posted by dannyboybell at 2:43 PM on August 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

If you call the infodump the "detective explains the crime" scene a la Christie, they're great. (I have a soft spot for those.)
posted by jeather at 2:45 PM on August 22, 2018

Oh my goodness they are both so adorable and sweet. I just want to hug them both.

I... am not watching the same video as you. That dude is fucking creepy-sing-songy-horror-movie sounding, and he talks to his wife as if she's ten years old. My skin is crawling.
posted by tzikeh at 4:14 PM on August 22, 2018 [10 favorites]

That woman has the patience of a saint. You interrupt me like that when I'm reading and I will cut you, I'm not even kidding.
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:46 PM on August 22, 2018

So I never read the books when they came out, and I started reading them to my son when he was 5. We got halfway through Prisoner of Azkaban before he got a bit scared and we stopped reading.

I had enjoyed the discovery of the books for myself, but was never sure when we would finish the books because he's still a bit scared of them even though he's almost 7 now.

So I stupidly clicked on this link and successfully spoiled it for myself. Whoops!
posted by trif at 3:00 AM on August 23, 2018

I dunno, I think it's ridiculous for anything to be half blood. That's more a well-fed bedbug than any kind of prince.
posted by Grangousier at 4:06 AM on August 23, 2018

HE JUST FELL INTO A CURTAIN.

With no handrails or safety ropes around it or anything. Hence my related theories that 1.) the wizarding world hasn't completely taken over the muggle world because there's no wizard OSHA, and 2.) the Wizengamot is so huge because like, 90% of its capacity is taken up with personal injury lawsuits.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:46 AM on August 23, 2018 [3 favorites]

my related theories that 1.) the wizarding world hasn't completely taken over the muggle world because there's no wizard OSHA

While I know there are a lot of issues with HPMOR, one of the things they got the most right, imho, is the idea that actually it's kind of a huge deal when 11 year olds get horrifically injured at a school and it should bring a much greater law enforcement and other presence and scrutiny.
posted by corb at 6:34 AM on August 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

What's being filmed here --- the process of staring at marked-up wood pulp until you have an intense emotional reaction, set in motion a decade ago by a person you will never meet --- is one of the most remarkable things about being a human. I am glad she was willing to share.
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 7:56 AM on August 23, 2018 [2 favorites]

So the wife went years without reading or knowing, but then he puts the spoiler right in the video title? What a dear.
posted by dozo at 8:13 AM on August 23, 2018

A good story cannot be spoiled. I understand both sides of it, though, the joy of "spoiling" for another and the joy of discovering for yourself.

"Am I the only one a little creeped out by the guy filming his wife's reaction, knowing himself what was coming, then putting it out on YouTube? I wondered if, should he get access to a time machine, he'd show up at a screening of Old Yeller with a number of young children attending."

That would be an interesting video. People like seeing other people react to things, particularly something they have a connection to. I'd only find this creepy if his wife wasn't aware she was being filmed.
posted by GoblinHoney at 9:45 AM on August 23, 2018

I continue to be flabbergasted that anyone can remain unspoiled for that spoiler this many years after the book was written when the book was THAT popular. Seriously, I know so many pop culture spoilers (horse's head! sled! who's your daddy? dead all along!) WITHOUT having ever seen the movies or read the books because after a while the reasonable "don't spoil" limit of life expires on works that are super popular. Who here who doesn't want to know how Infinity War ended actually has somehow still not found out how it ended?

"While I know there are a lot of issues with HPMOR, one of the things they got the most right, imho, is the idea that actually it's kind of a huge deal when 11 year olds get horrifically injured at a school and it should bring a much greater law enforcement and other presence and scrutiny."

Hear, hear! Not to mention that it's a deeply concerning BAD PROBLEM when a fucking TEACHER abuses his students who are 11 years old. I do not get why people luuuurve Snape so much when he is literally a child abuser and I would have been terrified in his classroom with no escape or recourse for seven years. Why the hell would Hogwarts LET HIM do that shit? Go HPMOR for fighting back there.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:41 PM on August 23, 2018

"Who here who doesn't want to know how Infinity War ended actually has somehow still not found out how it ended?"

Me, although I have like, six movies to watch before I get to it, so the jury is still out. My pet theory is that Thanos is Chris Pratt's dead mom.

That said, I'm not super into Marvel, beyond a half-hearted resolution to watch all the newer movies. Maybe the moral is that the people who are intensely involved in a fandom are the most likely to be spoiled. So uhh, stop enjoying things, people.
posted by colin.jaquiery at 8:42 PM on August 24, 2018