Apiarists Gone Rogue
October 16, 2018 6:50 AM Subscribe
California’s almond harvest has created a golden opportunity for bee thieves. Come for the bee thievery; stay for names like Joe Romance and "Rowdy" Jay Freeman (a sheriff's deputy and a beekeeper).
a sheriff's deputy and a beekeeper
THEY'RE COPS (except for the beekeeper).
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:04 AM on October 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
THEY'RE COPS (except for the beekeeper).
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:04 AM on October 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
thinks: Huh, megathread has gone quiet, I wonder what else is on the Blue *clicks latest post*
This was much more than an impulsive theft: It was the largest bee heist any of them had ever heard of...
Wild horses won't stop me reading this piece.
posted by Molesome at 7:55 AM on October 16, 2018 [10 favorites]
This was much more than an impulsive theft: It was the largest bee heist any of them had ever heard of...
Wild horses won't stop me reading this piece.
posted by Molesome at 7:55 AM on October 16, 2018 [10 favorites]
Bee rustling? Meh. Try stampeding bees through the Vatican. Now that's kinky.
posted by zaixfeep at 8:21 AM on October 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by zaixfeep at 8:21 AM on October 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
Thievery is for inanimate objects. When you steal livestock, it's rustling. The article missed an opportunity to use the phrase "bee rustlers."
I absolutely agree that that's more awesome, but a wrinkle with hive theft is that the hives themselves are worth a lot of money - at least a couple hundred dollars per hive just for the parts, to say nothing of the value of the honey. So these guys could be accurately described as both bee rustlers and beehive thieves.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:41 AM on October 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
I absolutely agree that that's more awesome, but a wrinkle with hive theft is that the hives themselves are worth a lot of money - at least a couple hundred dollars per hive just for the parts, to say nothing of the value of the honey. So these guys could be accurately described as both bee rustlers and beehive thieves.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:41 AM on October 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
AlonzoMosleyFBI: "THEY'RE COPS (except for the beekeeper)."
COPSE, surely.
posted by chavenet at 8:49 AM on October 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
COPSE, surely.
posted by chavenet at 8:49 AM on October 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
Something that this article didn't quite touch on: I've been asked before why it's necessary to truck bees into the almond groves, instead of just leaving them there year-round. The reason is, almond trees blossom for like three weeks - and because of the monoculture model of farming, after that three weeks is over, there isn't anything else blooming at all for dozens of miles around. If a hive was left in an almond grove permanently, they'd have a short bonanza and then run out of food stores and starve before winter even started.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:55 AM on October 16, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:55 AM on October 16, 2018 [8 favorites]
How much would they need to dedicate to other plants to allow the bees to stay all year. This systematic trucking of bees cannot be sustainable or good for the environment.
posted by GoblinHoney at 9:01 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by GoblinHoney at 9:01 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
AlonzoMosleyFBI: "THEY'RE COPS (except for the beekeeper)."
He's a hard-nosed flatfoot with a penchant for burning pine needles. She's a colony of 50-thousand domestic engineers. Together, They Fight Crime!
posted by endotoxin at 9:21 AM on October 16, 2018 [9 favorites]
He's a hard-nosed flatfoot with a penchant for burning pine needles. She's a colony of 50-thousand domestic engineers. Together, They Fight Crime!
posted by endotoxin at 9:21 AM on October 16, 2018 [9 favorites]
To the beemobile!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAf_tMxc2RA
posted by AndrewInDC at 9:31 AM on October 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAf_tMxc2RA
posted by AndrewInDC at 9:31 AM on October 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm genuinely stunned it took 11 comments to get to the Simpsons reference.
posted by kersplunk at 9:48 AM on October 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by kersplunk at 9:48 AM on October 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
That's breaking the beekeepers knees.
posted by clavdivs at 11:19 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 11:19 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
Even though the total population of domesticated honeybees has increased around 45 percent worldwide since 1961, the proportion of agricultural crops that depend on pollinators is growing at a rate closer to 300 percent, stoking fears in certain scientific circles of a global pollination crisis.
I'm in the wrong line of work.
posted by allkindsoftime at 11:44 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm in the wrong line of work.
posted by allkindsoftime at 11:44 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
Bees = the littlest livestock !
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:51 AM on October 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:51 AM on October 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
How much would they need to dedicate to other plants to allow the bees to stay all year. This systematic trucking of bees cannot be sustainable or good for the environment.
Really nothing about industrial monoculture farming is sustainable or good for the environment. They do it this way because it's currently the cheapest way to do it. Economies of scale, baby.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:07 PM on October 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
Really nothing about industrial monoculture farming is sustainable or good for the environment. They do it this way because it's currently the cheapest way to do it. Economies of scale, baby.
posted by showbiz_liz at 1:07 PM on October 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
Bees = the littlest livestock !
From the Demaundes Joyous, a book of riddles published in 1511:
- Which is the moost profytable beest and that men eateth least of?
- That is bees.
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:20 PM on October 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
From the Demaundes Joyous, a book of riddles published in 1511:
- Which is the moost profytable beest and that men eateth least of?
- That is bees.
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:20 PM on October 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
GoblinHoney: "How much would they need to dedicate to other plants to allow the bees to stay all year. This systematic trucking of bees cannot be sustainable or good for the environment."
If there was a variety of different crops on each quarter-section (a section is a square of land 1 mile on a side) a hive would have 16 different crops to feed off of within a mile and a half which would probably be sufficient if properly chosen. However while a quarter used to be what the government handed out to homesteaders as a reasonable size to be self supporting it is laughably small as a unit for industrial farming.
Almond farms (if they are anything like apples or grapes around here) could probably support year round hives if they planted a combination of ground covers that bloomed all year round (things like mint for example). That would require supporting crops that are currently parasitic though so of course no one currently does it.
posted by Mitheral at 3:02 PM on October 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
If there was a variety of different crops on each quarter-section (a section is a square of land 1 mile on a side) a hive would have 16 different crops to feed off of within a mile and a half which would probably be sufficient if properly chosen. However while a quarter used to be what the government handed out to homesteaders as a reasonable size to be self supporting it is laughably small as a unit for industrial farming.
Almond farms (if they are anything like apples or grapes around here) could probably support year round hives if they planted a combination of ground covers that bloomed all year round (things like mint for example). That would require supporting crops that are currently parasitic though so of course no one currently does it.
posted by Mitheral at 3:02 PM on October 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
It's not so much supporting an alternate crop; it'd be supported enough crops that bloom all spring and summer that would allow the bees to be self sustaining. Dozens of different plants, not much of a bother if you have an ecosystem or even a standard domestic garden but for agriculture? Too much effort compared to just shipping bees.
posted by Jilder at 4:15 PM on October 16, 2018
posted by Jilder at 4:15 PM on October 16, 2018
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