"I also planned to put it on a hot dog."

October 24, 2018 8:49 AM

Chopped champion Drew Magary goes on a journey through the dumbest foods you could put $400 of caviar on.

(Previously in his quest to ruin expensive ingredients)

posted by Copronymus (21 comments total)

I had no idea that what my soul needed this morning was a video of a dog declining to eat caviar off a spoon, but apparently it was.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:02 AM on October 24, 2018 [4 favorites]

Perhaps the dog failed to understand that it was farmed caviar, and declined on moral reasons?
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2018 [4 favorites]

Ha, wondered if this would make it here. Read the article at work yesterday and yelped out loud when I got to the hot dog.

Drew Magary is such a goon, but writes so beautifully when the mood takes him. Big fan.
posted by ominous_paws at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2018 [4 favorites]

I enjoyed this, as I always enjoy Drew Magary articles (side note: I always picture Drew Magary as being kind of obese, so I'm actually always surprised when I see a photo of him that he's actually fairly thin and athletic looking).

Since marrying a Belarussian man, I've eaten way more caviar than I would have thought likely. Weirdly, he doesn't like caviar (though he loves taramasalata - I don't understand the man), but his family buys it from time to time so I get to partake.

I've also discovered that I am picky about caviar - I much prefer the black stuff to the red stuff, so I need to physically restrain myself from greedily guzzling it at parties, since it's also the more expensive kind. I've only eaten it on buttered bread, but caviar on scrambled eggs is going to happen some time in the next year.
posted by peacheater at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2018 [3 favorites]

The dog didn't refuse to eat it because it was caviar; the dog refused to eat it because it was Costco caviar. Damn dog snob!
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:08 AM on October 24, 2018 [3 favorites]

Perhaps the dog is a locavore, and only wishes to sample the caviar made from dog eggs.
posted by ominous_paws at 9:17 AM on October 24, 2018 [4 favorites]

Maybe I'll hit up the Russian grocery for some salmon roe...
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:24 AM on October 24, 2018

Roe-based maki sushi is always a favourite of mine. I'm not sure if I've actually had "caviar" in any other context, though. The caviar omelette does sound like something I'll have to try if I ever get a chance.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:26 AM on October 24, 2018

honestly caviar mac and cheese is a perfect idea and I'd be surprised if it's never been served somewhere already
posted by GuyZero at 9:30 AM on October 24, 2018

some of these are vile but yeah some look good. Osetra is soooooo yummy. but yeah I'm not an oligarch.

some tobiko and sriracha on a barbeque'd oyster is to die for!
posted by supermedusa at 9:37 AM on October 24, 2018

I would have gone with it on a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup...
posted by jim in austin at 9:39 AM on October 24, 2018 [1 favorite]

There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's...

... except maybe that one.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:41 AM on October 24, 2018 [8 favorites]

Reese's are already salty enough without adding caviar. Definitely a bad move.

I'm sure there exists some viable combination of caviar with chocolate, though.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:51 AM on October 24, 2018

Big time miss on not putting it on an actual Costco hotdog. #unimpressed
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:53 AM on October 24, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm not a big caviar fan. Except for tobiko, which I love. Tiny, crunchy yumballs!
posted by Splunge at 9:55 AM on October 24, 2018

What I assume buying Costco caviar looks like
posted by ckape at 10:12 AM on October 24, 2018 [1 favorite]

I broiled a wiener, then griddled the bun in straight butter. On one side of the dog is the Osetra. On the other is a little bit of (Randy Marsh voice) crème fraiche.

Looking at the picture before reading the accompanying text, I was secretly hoping he had put mayo* on the hot dog.



* It's a perfectly good hot dog garnish. I will die on this hill.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:23 PM on October 24, 2018 [2 favorites]

Due to work, my grandfather once found himself the owner of a number of tins of real-deal Iranian caviar.

I liberated one of the tins and ate its content with a friend. I got sour cream, made my own blinis, the works. It was fine. It was good, even. However, philistine 20s me & friend got the impression that it didn't hold a candle to fresh sardines (preferably of the xouva variety, i.e. juvenile pilchards) bought off the fishing boat and roasted on an open fire.

Fresh sardines and anchovies are underrated.
posted by kandinski at 2:27 PM on October 24, 2018

Heck, even preserved sardines and anchovies are underrated.
posted by tobascodagama at 4:04 PM on October 24, 2018 [2 favorites]

So I'm on board with the mac & cheese but the trick is to get the Annie's that's the shells, so the caviar nestles inside each noodle. That's the only way I make boxed mac & cheese these days.

Ok, ok, I make it with peas, not caviar. But still.
posted by quaking fajita at 4:28 PM on October 24, 2018 [7 favorites]

Wow! I had no idea Drew Magary was anything other than the author of The Hike, which is a wonderful and bizarre book that you should totally read.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 9:37 AM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]