Just relax....
November 9, 2018 1:09 PM Subscribe
Do you suffer from insomnia? Here's Ellen Forney's illustrated survival guide. You can also try the US Army's (alleged) 2 minute sleep technique, recently featured in Teen Vogue and Fast Company.
True fact: alcohol and pot don't help you sleep.
OK, alcohol will make me wake up with a hangover in the middle of the night, so fair enough. But lumping pot in there just doesn't seem right. I'm a lifelong insomniac, and pot has helped me fall asleep faster than anything else I've ever tried—nor have I noticed any impact on sleep quality. My experience has been that pot is like fucking magic for combating insomnia.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:39 PM on November 9, 2018 [18 favorites]
OK, alcohol will make me wake up with a hangover in the middle of the night, so fair enough. But lumping pot in there just doesn't seem right. I'm a lifelong insomniac, and pot has helped me fall asleep faster than anything else I've ever tried—nor have I noticed any impact on sleep quality. My experience has been that pot is like fucking magic for combating insomnia.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:39 PM on November 9, 2018 [18 favorites]
I'm not sure about actually going unconscious, but it seems to me that pot would at least help with the 'empty your mind' and 'relax your muscles' part of it.
posted by The otter lady at 1:43 PM on November 9, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 1:43 PM on November 9, 2018 [4 favorites]
So many of these tips seem more like indictments of civilization writ large than practical advice, too. Get some sunlight during the day? Limit your screen time? Stick to a consistent sleep schedule? Most people's jobs basically preclude using these tactics. It's almost cruel to suggest to an office worker in the late fall (for us Northern Hemisphere types) that the reason you can't sleep is that you're not getting outside in the sunlight and spending too much time looking at a screen. Like, what do you want people to do about that?
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:43 PM on November 9, 2018 [36 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:43 PM on November 9, 2018 [36 favorites]
I guess this is good for somebody new to insomnia? But for a thirty-year veteran, it's a lot of yes, of course, and then? And then?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:44 PM on November 9, 2018 [24 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:44 PM on November 9, 2018 [24 favorites]
Plus, there's no easy solution for "psst, Conscious Self, it's 5:03 am, time to wake up and take stock of your failures, beginning with the state of your bedclothes and ending with your capability to form bonds with other human beings." I'm on some medication that has stopped that for the present, but I understand it will quit working eventually. Still waiting for the sleep-study people to call me back.
posted by Countess Elena at 1:50 PM on November 9, 2018 [20 favorites]
posted by Countess Elena at 1:50 PM on November 9, 2018 [20 favorites]
Falling asleep and staying asleep are two different concerns.
posted by stevil at 1:58 PM on November 9, 2018 [20 favorites]
posted by stevil at 1:58 PM on November 9, 2018 [20 favorites]
My bedclothes are unaccountably saturated with fear sweat, and if it's 5:03 then I'm late for work so it probably only gets worse from there.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:58 PM on November 9, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:58 PM on November 9, 2018 [4 favorites]
As someone who usually takes at least an hour to fall asleep, one of the reasons I pull an all-nighter once every week or so is the magic of going to bed the next night...I actually experience what I imagine what normal people do when they go to bed. Lying down and, you know, within a few minutes falling asleep.
posted by maxwelton at 2:03 PM on November 9, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 2:03 PM on November 9, 2018 [9 favorites]
Wait a minute -- so when am I supposed to make a complete review of looming anxieties, deep-seated personality flaws, and hopeless situations beyond my control?
Also, if you can think of a better way to inflate minor embarrassments into soul-crushing failures than to ruminate in bed, flipping from side to side, I'd like to hear it!
posted by Construction Concern at 2:09 PM on November 9, 2018 [21 favorites]
Also, if you can think of a better way to inflate minor embarrassments into soul-crushing failures than to ruminate in bed, flipping from side to side, I'd like to hear it!
posted by Construction Concern at 2:09 PM on November 9, 2018 [21 favorites]
Also, if you can think of a better way to inflate minor embarrassments into soul-crushing failures than to ruminate in bed, flipping from side to side, I'd like to hear it!
The shower is excellent for that as well, don't discount it!
posted by maxwelton at 2:13 PM on November 9, 2018 [10 favorites]
The shower is excellent for that as well, don't discount it!
posted by maxwelton at 2:13 PM on November 9, 2018 [10 favorites]
I've recently discovered the BEST way for me to fall asleep - I run through the NATO alphabet, and before I can say Uniform Victor Whiskey I'm out. I don't know why this works, but it's the right amount of boring+attention grabbing.
posted by Dmenet at 2:27 PM on November 9, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Dmenet at 2:27 PM on November 9, 2018 [5 favorites]
When I am randomly blindsided by a blast of hot shame dredged up by my unconscious from some 19-year-old memory of a mildly awkward thing that I once did but which my mind has helpfully inflated to the point where commiting suicide seems like a genuinely helpful suggestion, it really helps to remind myself that this happens to everyone. Why are brains so stupid? I don't know, but if I can remember that it's just a normal stupid brain thing and not incontrovertible evidence of my own uniquely irredeemable worthlessness, I can usually get over it in pretty short order.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:42 PM on November 9, 2018 [35 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 2:42 PM on November 9, 2018 [35 favorites]
The viz I invented, that used to always work, was I would imagine myself out in the ocean on a platform like an oil rig. It would slowly descend and I would go beneath the waves, deeper and deeper, into the dark. I should try it again.
posted by thelonius at 2:42 PM on November 9, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 2:42 PM on November 9, 2018 [4 favorites]
The shower is excellent for that as well, don't discount it!
I only have happy thoughts in the shower, me. That's why I sometimes have a problem leaving the shower. Also I guess because there are no clocks in my shower, so if I have to focus on hurrying I'm obliged to count the seconds aloud.
...Topically, I'll add that so many of these quite good guides focus the lion's share of their advice for falling asleep, which is not something I -- a profound and expert insomniac -- find hard, most of the time.
My personal hell comes from waking up at 3 AM to take a pee, then immediately finding myself as awake as a highly caffeinated child at high noon watching a car chase.
I used to lie in bed and meditate or stretch but these days I just say, "To fuck with it," and get up and try to be productive (clean the house, do the dishes, put laundry through, do the dullest parts of my job, clip the dog's nails, et cetera). Wasting time is wasteful, after all.
posted by Construction Concern at 2:44 PM on November 9, 2018 [5 favorites]
I only have happy thoughts in the shower, me. That's why I sometimes have a problem leaving the shower. Also I guess because there are no clocks in my shower, so if I have to focus on hurrying I'm obliged to count the seconds aloud.
...Topically, I'll add that so many of these quite good guides focus the lion's share of their advice for falling asleep, which is not something I -- a profound and expert insomniac -- find hard, most of the time.
My personal hell comes from waking up at 3 AM to take a pee, then immediately finding myself as awake as a highly caffeinated child at high noon watching a car chase.
I used to lie in bed and meditate or stretch but these days I just say, "To fuck with it," and get up and try to be productive (clean the house, do the dishes, put laundry through, do the dullest parts of my job, clip the dog's nails, et cetera). Wasting time is wasteful, after all.
posted by Construction Concern at 2:44 PM on November 9, 2018 [5 favorites]
I have always found it difficult to fall asleep. The only thing that really works for me to fall asleep is reading. Doesn’t even have to be much reading, but it works like a charm.
posted by fimbulvetr at 2:46 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by fimbulvetr at 2:46 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
I have adhd. The part she talks about being manic and not wanting to take sleep meds is my every day. Except it’s not mania, because its my entire life. And it’s not (necessarily) sleep medication, it’s the entire going to bed process. I don’t ever want to go to bed and will (at least previous to recognizing it) stay up until I pass out. I literally did not realize until my diagnoses a few years ago that I needed to make the decision to go to bed. Doctors, including two sleep doctors and a gp that had been with me through most of my adult life didn’t recognize this pattern because I was self reporting
Screens made it worse; but before screens there were books. From an early age, I was hiding under the blankets with a flashlight to read. When I have actually managed to keep my phone out of my room, I will read all night.
I honestly did not know that to go to sleep you shouldn’t stay up until you’re pass out tired. It probably doesn’t help that I’m pretty sure my parents both had adhd and both had horrible sleep habits; so I was unable to differentiate between normal sleep patterns and abnormal sleep.
It took being diagnosed at 39 to be able to recognize the sleep hygiene issues that I intellectually knew and my own problems because they were outlined there.
My issue with sleep boils down to:
- end of the night is a form of a deadline, which causes a tiny (or a lot) of panic, which causes some amount of norepinephrine to be released, which people with adhd don’t produce or utilize correctly. Thus bed time actually stimulates the brain, causing me to wake up more
- the consequence of going to bed too late is too far forward in time for me to heed effectively. Because the consequence (negative) is 8 or so hours later, I don’t pay heed to it. People with adhd need consequences (positive or negative) brought forward in time since we lack certain longer term thinking that most neurotypical people have.
So yeah, if you have problems sleeping, and they’re life long and you just don’t like to go to bed, at least consider adhd. Not everyone with adhd has sleep problems, but it’s a significant portion; so much so that it used to be part of the symptoms but because it was hard to quantify, it was removed.
——-
Also, I’ve considered making a career out of becoming a self-proclaimed sleep coach because I know a lot about sleep even though I suck at implimenting the necessary change in my life. Also I’m convinced most (not all, of course) sleep problems will be solved by keeping the phone out of the bedroom. (She says, unable to do the same herself).
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:58 PM on November 9, 2018 [10 favorites]
Screens made it worse; but before screens there were books. From an early age, I was hiding under the blankets with a flashlight to read. When I have actually managed to keep my phone out of my room, I will read all night.
I honestly did not know that to go to sleep you shouldn’t stay up until you’re pass out tired. It probably doesn’t help that I’m pretty sure my parents both had adhd and both had horrible sleep habits; so I was unable to differentiate between normal sleep patterns and abnormal sleep.
It took being diagnosed at 39 to be able to recognize the sleep hygiene issues that I intellectually knew and my own problems because they were outlined there.
My issue with sleep boils down to:
- end of the night is a form of a deadline, which causes a tiny (or a lot) of panic, which causes some amount of norepinephrine to be released, which people with adhd don’t produce or utilize correctly. Thus bed time actually stimulates the brain, causing me to wake up more
- the consequence of going to bed too late is too far forward in time for me to heed effectively. Because the consequence (negative) is 8 or so hours later, I don’t pay heed to it. People with adhd need consequences (positive or negative) brought forward in time since we lack certain longer term thinking that most neurotypical people have.
So yeah, if you have problems sleeping, and they’re life long and you just don’t like to go to bed, at least consider adhd. Not everyone with adhd has sleep problems, but it’s a significant portion; so much so that it used to be part of the symptoms but because it was hard to quantify, it was removed.
——-
Also, I’ve considered making a career out of becoming a self-proclaimed sleep coach because I know a lot about sleep even though I suck at implimenting the necessary change in my life. Also I’m convinced most (not all, of course) sleep problems will be solved by keeping the phone out of the bedroom. (She says, unable to do the same herself).
posted by [insert clever name here] at 2:58 PM on November 9, 2018 [10 favorites]
When I am randomly blindsided by a blast of hot shame dredged up by my unconscious from some 19-year-old memory of a mildly awkward thing that I once did but which my mind has helpfully inflated to the point where commiting suicide seems like a genuinely helpful suggestion
I've started pushing back against that. "Really? You have to look that far back to find something to beat me up about, jerkbrain? Nah."
Mostly I just lie there silently reciting this version of the metta meditation until I drift off or it's time to get up.
posted by Lexica at 3:38 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
I've started pushing back against that. "Really? You have to look that far back to find something to beat me up about, jerkbrain? Nah."
Mostly I just lie there silently reciting this version of the metta meditation until I drift off or it's time to get up.
posted by Lexica at 3:38 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
posted by betweenthebars at 3:59 PM on November 9, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by betweenthebars at 3:59 PM on November 9, 2018 [9 favorites]
I only have happy thoughts in the shower, me. That's why I sometimes have a problem leaving the shower. Also I guess because there are no clocks in my shower, so if I have to focus on hurrying I'm obliged to count the seconds aloud.
Yeah, I really wish sleeping in the shower were a viable option.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:13 PM on November 9, 2018 [7 favorites]
Yeah, I really wish sleeping in the shower were a viable option.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:13 PM on November 9, 2018 [7 favorites]
I’ve been working harder at the discipline of putting the iPad or laptop down an hour before bedtime & turning back to paper books for that hour. I’m not perfect at it (see the time stamps in my posting history) but when I practice that, it helps.
The thing that helps me the most, which I tend to do almost every night, is to put in my good in-ear headphones & put on some music. I find that I usually drift off within 10 minutes, but will occasionally wake back up after half an hour or so. If I turn the iPod of right then, I’m out like a light. I usually pick 1 album so that if it ends while I’m asleep, I’m not jolted awake by the change in tone of another album. I often wake up in the morning with no memory of having pulled my earbuds out, & will have to look & see if the whole album played, or where I turned it off.
Staying asleep however, simply requires medication. I thought it was a little smug of the author to bag on clonazapam but then, I take it for an anxiety disorder & the fact that it makes me drowsy if I take it at bedtime is just an additional feature. Yes, I’m dependent on it in that I would need to withdraw slowly in order to not suffer severe side effects, but calling this “addiction” is a misuse of that word. I’d love to not need anti-anxiety meds, but when your brain chemistry is fucked up, medicine that helps that is medicine, the same way a diabetic is “addicted” to insulin.
Anyway. Less screens, more books, calm, preferably instrumental music & yeah, cool temps and a thick blanket, though I think the latter is just because of how I grew up. I lived in drafty old rental Victorians in San Francisco in my childhood, so it’s supposed to be uncomfortably cold at night. Man, I really can’t sleep when it’s hot.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:36 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
The thing that helps me the most, which I tend to do almost every night, is to put in my good in-ear headphones & put on some music. I find that I usually drift off within 10 minutes, but will occasionally wake back up after half an hour or so. If I turn the iPod of right then, I’m out like a light. I usually pick 1 album so that if it ends while I’m asleep, I’m not jolted awake by the change in tone of another album. I often wake up in the morning with no memory of having pulled my earbuds out, & will have to look & see if the whole album played, or where I turned it off.
Staying asleep however, simply requires medication. I thought it was a little smug of the author to bag on clonazapam but then, I take it for an anxiety disorder & the fact that it makes me drowsy if I take it at bedtime is just an additional feature. Yes, I’m dependent on it in that I would need to withdraw slowly in order to not suffer severe side effects, but calling this “addiction” is a misuse of that word. I’d love to not need anti-anxiety meds, but when your brain chemistry is fucked up, medicine that helps that is medicine, the same way a diabetic is “addicted” to insulin.
Anyway. Less screens, more books, calm, preferably instrumental music & yeah, cool temps and a thick blanket, though I think the latter is just because of how I grew up. I lived in drafty old rental Victorians in San Francisco in my childhood, so it’s supposed to be uncomfortably cold at night. Man, I really can’t sleep when it’s hot.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:36 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
When I am randomly blindsided by a blast of hot shame dredged up by my unconscious from some 19-year-old memory of a mildly awkward thing that I once did
I called this The Regret Show, and it was a nightly thing for years. Therapy, introspection & a purposeful, mindful shedding of my past has been an important part of growth for me as a human being in general. When these things pop up at random now, I’m more able to remind myself that that’s not who I am any more & because I’m no longer deliberately manufacturing my own misery, I’m able to forgive myself and let it go. Getting to that point took a good solid number of years of work, though. It’s been a long, tough battle just to learn that it’s okay to be me, now.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:44 PM on November 9, 2018 [8 favorites]
I called this The Regret Show, and it was a nightly thing for years. Therapy, introspection & a purposeful, mindful shedding of my past has been an important part of growth for me as a human being in general. When these things pop up at random now, I’m more able to remind myself that that’s not who I am any more & because I’m no longer deliberately manufacturing my own misery, I’m able to forgive myself and let it go. Getting to that point took a good solid number of years of work, though. It’s been a long, tough battle just to learn that it’s okay to be me, now.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:44 PM on November 9, 2018 [8 favorites]
I love that illustration, it's a much more engaging version of my "sort out your sleep" spiel and handout that I end up going through with about 1/10 of my patients.
posted by chiquitita at 5:31 PM on November 9, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by chiquitita at 5:31 PM on November 9, 2018 [1 favorite]
I called this The Regret Show
Great term for it. Isn't it weird how there's a set repertoire of regrettable moments that your brain has to present you with? Like, I can actually think of three or so of my personal Regret Show's most popular episodes right off the top of my head, ones that have actually come up so many times that they've lost some of their potency. Yet I know that there must be literally thousands more equally-mortifying moments in my past which have somehow managed to become decently and thankfully forgotten over the intervening years since they happened.
What was so special about those moments that caused them to be seared so indelibly into my memory, when so many more just slid silently beneath the waters of oblivion? Is it random, or what? Is it related to how I handled it at the time, and if so is it something I could avoid doing in the future? I dunno. Wish I did!
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:33 PM on November 9, 2018 [6 favorites]
Great term for it. Isn't it weird how there's a set repertoire of regrettable moments that your brain has to present you with? Like, I can actually think of three or so of my personal Regret Show's most popular episodes right off the top of my head, ones that have actually come up so many times that they've lost some of their potency. Yet I know that there must be literally thousands more equally-mortifying moments in my past which have somehow managed to become decently and thankfully forgotten over the intervening years since they happened.
What was so special about those moments that caused them to be seared so indelibly into my memory, when so many more just slid silently beneath the waters of oblivion? Is it random, or what? Is it related to how I handled it at the time, and if so is it something I could avoid doing in the future? I dunno. Wish I did!
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:33 PM on November 9, 2018 [6 favorites]
I read that two minute sleep thing and, while it hasn’t been a panacea, I have found that the “relax your eye sockets and forehead” advice is pretty useful, especially as someone who’s found progressive muscle relaxation to be a somewhat unpredictable technique in its effectiveness.
Also, my sleep visualization has long been imagining myself lying on my mattress as it falls endlessly through an infinite pitch-black abyss (ignoring the fact that in actual free fall I wouldn’t press against the mattress in the same way). I don’t know what it says that I find this a comforting image.
posted by invitapriore at 5:35 PM on November 9, 2018
Also, my sleep visualization has long been imagining myself lying on my mattress as it falls endlessly through an infinite pitch-black abyss (ignoring the fact that in actual free fall I wouldn’t press against the mattress in the same way). I don’t know what it says that I find this a comforting image.
posted by invitapriore at 5:35 PM on November 9, 2018
Y'know, even though everyone says you shouldn't do it, I kind of just love reading in bed. When I'm in bed is the calmest time of day and I think part of why I take a long time to go to sleep is that I like to just relax and savor it consciously. One of my favorite things to do in bed, of course, is read books—most nights I fall asleep reading a book on my phone with the screen way, way down. (The newest iPhones are very comfortable in the dark, mellow and dim even with dark-adjusted eyes. This was a pleasant surprise when I upgraded recently.) It's as much a "won't stop" as a "can't stop" situation, if I'm honest.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:46 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:46 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
So, does anyone else find that if they concentrate on breathing that they’re unable to resume breathing automatically without conscious effort afterward and lie awake just breathing in and breathing out until exhaustion eventually overcomes them a minute or two before the alarm goes off? Me neither.
I’ve got a lot of mileage out of the soundtrack of the video game Machinarium as a sleep aid when on the road though.
posted by rodlymight at 6:02 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
I’ve got a lot of mileage out of the soundtrack of the video game Machinarium as a sleep aid when on the road though.
posted by rodlymight at 6:02 PM on November 9, 2018 [2 favorites]
My personal hell comes from waking up at 3 AM to take a pee, then immediately finding myself as awake as a highly caffeinated child at high noon watching a car chase.
Are you me?
I have found the meds work well in that (frequent) situation, but it feels like a bandaid at best.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:47 PM on November 9, 2018 [3 favorites]
Are you me?
I have found the meds work well in that (frequent) situation, but it feels like a bandaid at best.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:47 PM on November 9, 2018 [3 favorites]
If it's 3:34 AM and you're still awake, just relax and bring on the horn section.
posted by delfin at 6:56 PM on November 9, 2018
posted by delfin at 6:56 PM on November 9, 2018
Both of my kids have ADHD, and on tough nights I swear by the Audible versions of The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep and The Little Elephant Who Wants to Fall Asleep. They work on adults, too. I've used them myself when insomnia strikes - I usually don't have trouble falling asleep when I first go to bed, but if I wake up to use the bathroom or if the cats are being rowdy, then all bets are off, because once my brain is up, I'm up, be it 5:45 or 3:45.
posted by candyland at 7:46 PM on November 9, 2018
posted by candyland at 7:46 PM on November 9, 2018
I came up with my own visualization for when it’s 3:30 am and my brain is going in circles. I ask myself “what would my body feel like if it were sleepy?” Making my brain focus on things like “my eyelids would feel heavy” etc. makes my body realize that it actually is, and that shifts the focus away from my brain and short circuits the spiral.
posted by matildaben at 10:02 PM on November 9, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by matildaben at 10:02 PM on November 9, 2018 [1 favorite]
Ellen Forney is awesome. I recommend her early biographical comic strip, collected in the book Monkey Food: The Complete “I Was Seven in ’75” Collection, as well as the graphic novel about her adult life with bipolar disorder, Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me.
posted by D.C. at 11:26 PM on November 9, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by D.C. at 11:26 PM on November 9, 2018 [3 favorites]
A motion activated night light in the hall made it much, much easier to get back to sleep after a pee break. Less light= less sleep disruption, at least for me.
posted by peppermind at 1:29 AM on November 10, 2018
posted by peppermind at 1:29 AM on November 10, 2018
I love youse guys. Various things have been a bit more difficult lately, which means I've had much worse insomnia than usual. Reading your stories makes me feel not alone.
posted by b33j at 1:38 AM on November 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by b33j at 1:38 AM on November 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
Yeah, hello it’s 4:17 and & I’ve been reading the internet on my phone since 3:38. Fuck you, brain.
This is not an everyday occurrence thankfully, but even once or twice a week will throw me off balance pretty good, & now I’m heading into what will probably be a groggy dumb weekend. Argh.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:21 AM on November 10, 2018
This is not an everyday occurrence thankfully, but even once or twice a week will throw me off balance pretty good, & now I’m heading into what will probably be a groggy dumb weekend. Argh.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:21 AM on November 10, 2018
I just tried all of this "I woke up in the middle of the night" shit and none of it worked including reading the boring book, which is why I gave up once again and am on a screen. I am waking up around 5 a.m. being Too Hot, but the second I take off blankets, I am Too Cold and nothing is fucking working. On a scale of 1-10 as to how actually sleepy I am right now, I'm at a 2. I know all of the "sleep hygeine" crap and it doesn't necessarily work. I have heard of all of this before.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:42 AM on November 10, 2018
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:42 AM on November 10, 2018
About a year ago I read this article about a technique called the Cognitive Shuffle, and it changed my life. I don't dread going to bed anymore.
The way I do it is to listen for my heartbeat. I pick a letter of the alphabet, and every eight beats of my heart, I think of a word starting with that letter.
I'm asleep within minutes.
A year into it and if anything it's become more effective. I no longer even have to do the technique anymore; I can just will myself to get into that drifting-off state of mind.
I can take naps. Naps are amazing.
posted by MrVisible at 5:46 AM on November 10, 2018 [14 favorites]
The way I do it is to listen for my heartbeat. I pick a letter of the alphabet, and every eight beats of my heart, I think of a word starting with that letter.
I'm asleep within minutes.
A year into it and if anything it's become more effective. I no longer even have to do the technique anymore; I can just will myself to get into that drifting-off state of mind.
I can take naps. Naps are amazing.
posted by MrVisible at 5:46 AM on November 10, 2018 [14 favorites]
I have struggled to get enough sleep for years and years. Whatever person assembled this five-hour YouTube supercut of the BBC’s Shipping Forecast is a saint. Start it, fast forward to some random start point, and I’m generally out in a few minutes.
In addition to the soothing delivery style and repetition, the content requires just enough of my attention to keep me from worrying - or from getting interested the subject, which has happened when I tried traditional videos/podcasts.
posted by FallibleHuman at 6:44 AM on November 10, 2018 [4 favorites]
In addition to the soothing delivery style and repetition, the content requires just enough of my attention to keep me from worrying - or from getting interested the subject, which has happened when I tried traditional videos/podcasts.
posted by FallibleHuman at 6:44 AM on November 10, 2018 [4 favorites]
Something I got from a Pat McManus humor story, of all places, that has been working in displacing the Regret Show, is my Insomnia Farm. I've developed something like a continually developing memory-palace hobby farm, so in my imagination I drive up to it (you take a right turn part the glacial erratic rock outside of McMinnville, OR) along the roadside canal with the nutria and cypress hedge, over the wooden bridge and past the wrought iron rooster-shaped mailbox, and park, and first unlock the shed and feed the Maine Coon cats (Hitler and Mango), then the pygmy goats Godelgaudus (white), Gundolhinus (gray), and Black Philip (I realized I didn't know what goats eat so my fantasy goats eat alfalfa hay and gummi bears) who have a walk-up ramp onto the turfed roof of the little mid-century-modern-furnished farmhouse; then I feed the koi and observe the wood ducks, then get to work on the little garden and hoeing and planting and harvesting and post-setting and hops picking and running things up the hill to the vineyard with a wheelbarrow, according to the season, etc etc. It's a nice relaxing meditation ritual and I rarely get to the actual agricultural tasks. Other than that, 300 mcg melatonin helps.
posted by Capybara at 8:10 AM on November 10, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Capybara at 8:10 AM on November 10, 2018 [5 favorites]
I gave this a try when I woke up in the middle of the night. It didn't work; the article said it might not, so I'll try again. I kept getting hung up on the visualization: which lake? I have two favorites, but both of them are full of either recreational traffic or barge traffic, so you don't want to be floating asleep out there, plus the Coast Guard is in one of them. Also, what kind of boat? A steel flatboat of the kind you usually get there? The sun is going to be mighty hard on you in the middle of the day. And the mosquitoes from the swamp, if you're not moving fast on a motorboat, well . . . But this was at least time not spent feeling bad about myself.
posted by Countess Elena at 9:06 AM on November 10, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Countess Elena at 9:06 AM on November 10, 2018 [1 favorite]
I love Ellen Forney's comics, but her advice about sleep is, at least for me, pretty much total bullshit. I have insomnia from trauma, and a few years into it sleep hygiene was the new magic buzzphrase for blaming the victim. Sleep hygiene suggestions like "don't read in bed" turned my bed into a place where all I did was go at night and fail to sleep, and it turned my anxiety up to eleven and made it so much harder to even get into bed. For me the magic fix has been prescription medication for both phase one and phase two insomnia, melatonin, reading quietly in bed (screen or book, I have flux on my ipad), and giving the finger to everyone who wants to talk to me about sleep hygiene! and how amazing it is and how I'm doing it wrong.
posted by bile and syntax at 9:17 AM on November 10, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by bile and syntax at 9:17 AM on November 10, 2018 [6 favorites]
So yeah, if you have problems sleeping, and they’re life long and you just don’t like to go to bed, at least consider adhd. Not everyone with adhd has sleep problems, but it’s a significant portion; so much so that it used to be part of the symptoms but because it was hard to quantify, it was removed.
YES THIS. no one believes me when i say that adderall helps me sleep better, especially if it's a second regular-release dose in the late afternoon on top of the morning's XR.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:12 AM on November 10, 2018 [1 favorite]
YES THIS. no one believes me when i say that adderall helps me sleep better, especially if it's a second regular-release dose in the late afternoon on top of the morning's XR.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:12 AM on November 10, 2018 [1 favorite]
I take 5mg of Xanax and I sleep great. I don't understand why it's used recreationally, but perhaps that is because I am old and fat.
posted by Brocktoon at 10:27 AM on November 10, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Brocktoon at 10:27 AM on November 10, 2018 [1 favorite]
As an anglophile Dutchman my engagement with metafilter from 2004 started as a result of my insomnia; waking around 3 or 4 and being unable to get to sleep again. The blue colour was obviously darker than white and appropriate for the middle of the night. And when the NL was asleep the US would have it's evening hours of activity.
I got quite desperate about my insomnia; none of the sleep hygiene rules worked. And Dutch doctors don't prescribe sleep medication.
I'd be quite testy at work; having a harder time to be on the ball.
Long story short: the sleep clinic provided no help. Only after 14+ years of insomnia I happened to ask my doctor for an antidepressum to help me sleep. Turns out there's an antidepressum that even at a tiny dose works wonders for me. Mirtazapine. A normal dose made it hard for me to pronounce words quickly, which is crucial in my line of work, but even half a pill worked wonders: from the first day I took it I slept through the whole night again and woke afreshed.
So if you have problems sleeping through the night and it's not sleep apnea and none of the sleep hygiene rules are working: it's worth it to discuss Mirtazapine (Remeron) with your doctor.
posted by jouke at 10:56 AM on November 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
I got quite desperate about my insomnia; none of the sleep hygiene rules worked. And Dutch doctors don't prescribe sleep medication.
I'd be quite testy at work; having a harder time to be on the ball.
Long story short: the sleep clinic provided no help. Only after 14+ years of insomnia I happened to ask my doctor for an antidepressum to help me sleep. Turns out there's an antidepressum that even at a tiny dose works wonders for me. Mirtazapine. A normal dose made it hard for me to pronounce words quickly, which is crucial in my line of work, but even half a pill worked wonders: from the first day I took it I slept through the whole night again and woke afreshed.
So if you have problems sleeping through the night and it's not sleep apnea and none of the sleep hygiene rules are working: it's worth it to discuss Mirtazapine (Remeron) with your doctor.
posted by jouke at 10:56 AM on November 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
MrVisible, I read that article, downloaded the app last night and omg it was brilliant. You can't ruminate when your're picturing benign stuff to order. Thank you, thank you!
posted by kitten magic at 1:29 PM on November 10, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by kitten magic at 1:29 PM on November 10, 2018 [1 favorite]
“Did you try just, y'know, lying on your bed, having your eyes closed, and just relaxing?”
posted by ob1quixote at 10:04 PM on November 10, 2018
posted by ob1quixote at 10:04 PM on November 10, 2018
snuggling in a black velvet hammock in a pitch-black room
This sounds terrifying. Why not go that small extra step to being wrapped in black plastic and buried alive?
posted by some little punk in a rocket at 2:55 AM on November 11, 2018 [4 favorites]
This sounds terrifying. Why not go that small extra step to being wrapped in black plastic and buried alive?
posted by some little punk in a rocket at 2:55 AM on November 11, 2018 [4 favorites]
I really appreciate that she included something about waking up in the middle of the night. It's easy for me to fall asleep (probably because I very rarely am able to sleep more than 6 hours so I'm chronically underslept) but I wake up too early and it's always frustrating seeing stuff about insomnia that doesn't acknowledge the early-waking form.
Also, the above-mentioned trick about pretending to be asleep was my best tool as a (very inexperienced) teenage babysitter who had to put a bunch of kids to sleep--I would tell them they had to lie in their beds and pretend to be asleep while I sat in the hallway reading, and it usually worked.
posted by needs more cowbell at 8:02 AM on November 11, 2018
Also, the above-mentioned trick about pretending to be asleep was my best tool as a (very inexperienced) teenage babysitter who had to put a bunch of kids to sleep--I would tell them they had to lie in their beds and pretend to be asleep while I sat in the hallway reading, and it usually worked.
posted by needs more cowbell at 8:02 AM on November 11, 2018
Me: Mmm, so tired, time for sleeps!
Brain: Remember when you accidentally farted in front of that girl you had a crush on in grade 8?
Me: Oh god.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:33 PM on November 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
Brain: Remember when you accidentally farted in front of that girl you had a crush on in grade 8?
Me: Oh god.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:33 PM on November 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
I've been using and loving this alpha-numeric counting technique posted by Redstart.. Dunno if it would work for serious insomniacs, but it's been working for my politics-worrying sleep disturbances. The furthest I've gotten so far, I think, is maaaaybe K or L.
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 5:38 PM on November 13, 2018
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 5:38 PM on November 13, 2018
The shower is excellent for that as well, don't discount it!
Everyone knows the shower is for recreating arguments, only this time you are way wittier.
posted by Tarumba at 10:06 AM on November 14, 2018 [1 favorite]
Everyone knows the shower is for recreating arguments, only this time you are way wittier.
posted by Tarumba at 10:06 AM on November 14, 2018 [1 favorite]
oh wow how dare them to say that inside my head
posted by Countess Elena at 11:48 AM on November 14, 2018
posted by Countess Elena at 11:48 AM on November 14, 2018
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I've never tried the stretching/visualization trick. I'll see what I can do.
posted by Countess Elena at 1:25 PM on November 9, 2018 [4 favorites]