Every Tweet is Like Sunday

January 6, 2019 6:53 AM

Your Smiths album name is the mildest complaint you had about the last dining experience you had outside of your home. Mine is The Potatoes Weren't All I Expected [SLTF]
posted by chavenet (209 comments total)

That Whining Sound Is Harsh For My Ears
posted by memebake at 6:58 AM on January 6, 2019 [5 favorites]

"Proper Cornbread Is Neither Sweet Nor Yellow"
posted by HillbillyInBC at 6:59 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

'It's Too Dark in Here and the Fries Are Burnt'
posted by Fizz at 7:01 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

The Guy Is Moving So Slowly
posted by Night_owl at 7:01 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

Brussels Sprouts And Mushrooms Together Is A Bit Much Earthy/Bitter In A Dish For Me.
posted by a power-tie-wearing she-capitalist at 7:14 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

Delicious but rich and now I'm queasy
posted by bunderful at 7:16 AM on January 6, 2019 [7 favorites]

The Salsa Roja Wasn't As Good As the Salsa Verde
posted by detachd at 7:18 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

“You Can Almost Taste the Comic Sans”
posted by oulipian at 7:19 AM on January 6, 2019 [9 favorites]

My Parents Are Too Drunk
(But This Is Damn Good Lamb)
posted by ethical_caligula at 7:22 AM on January 6, 2019 [18 favorites]

“The Chicken Soup Isn’t As Good As The Stuff In The Tureen At Pavillion’s”
posted by The Gooch at 7:24 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

"The food is delicious but the date is a self-important bore"
posted by ChuraChura at 7:26 AM on January 6, 2019 [13 favorites]

Featuring such hits as "No, I don't think Hillary is unlikeable," "Yes, I really do like spicy food," and "Oh, IT must be interesting."
posted by ChuraChura at 7:27 AM on January 6, 2019 [24 favorites]

“I don’t think my parents can sit on barstools anymore”
posted by wellred at 7:30 AM on January 6, 2019 [8 favorites]

Please Please Please Don't Put Condiments On My Meal If You Don't List Them On The Menu
posted by delfin at 7:32 AM on January 6, 2019 [16 favorites]

The Sausage Crumbled With Unnerving Ease
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:32 AM on January 6, 2019 [11 favorites]

His Cut of Beef was More Rare than Mine
posted by muddgirl at 7:34 AM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

30 Dollars a Glass
posted by mwhybark at 7:34 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

"Whoever Made The Chocolate Cake This Time Isn't The Same Person Who Makes The Chocolate Cake I Like"
posted by taz at 7:36 AM on January 6, 2019 [19 favorites]

It's A Decent Approximation Of Pad Thai
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:39 AM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

The menu looks good, but I’ve already eaten.
posted by rh at 7:40 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Pupusas always take so long.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 7:41 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

"There Will Never Be Enough Napkins To Clean Up This Spill I've Made"
posted by nightrecordings at 7:42 AM on January 6, 2019 [18 favorites]

Talked about this last night with my best friend. His was:

"I have had to eat this delicious bi bim bap in a crowded place."

Mine was:

"There is too much homemade tonkatsu to eat all alone."
posted by Mizu at 7:43 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

"I Didn't Process That Deep Fried Sushi Meant Cooked Salmon, Which Is Inferior to Raw Salmon" circa yesterday.

I was tired, okay.
posted by brook horse at 7:43 AM on January 6, 2019 [5 favorites]

West Virginia Hibachi: I Should Have Asked For The Secret Menu
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:45 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Some of these sound more Belle And Sebastian than The Smiths.
posted by acb at 7:46 AM on January 6, 2019 [36 favorites]

This Madras Sauce Is Too Thin (But All the Other Restaurants Are Closed) - Extended remix
posted by TinyChicken at 7:48 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Something in My Coffee That Might Have Been a Hair
posted by capricorn at 7:48 AM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

Some of these sound more Belle And Sebastian than The Smiths.

And some Belle and Sebastian album covers look like Smiths album covers. It's all harmless fun.
posted by nightrecordings at 7:51 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

We Had to Ask for Silverware After the Food Was Served
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:54 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

The mushrooms had a squeaky texture
posted by natasha_k at 7:56 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

This Cake Is Not Up To Your Usual Standards (Are You Okay?)
posted by Adridne at 7:59 AM on January 6, 2019 [11 favorites]

Everything Is Fantastic, But We Only Ordered One Stella
posted by tantrumthecat at 8:02 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

'I Ate Too Much And Can't Have Kulfi'

Honestly though, dinner last night was incredible. We ate at one of those places where the food is great but I'm 95% sure it's a front for some kind of family crime organization.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 8:13 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I'm Hungry and Tired, How Long Does it Take to Make Pizza?
posted by nubs at 8:14 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

I'm Not Sure I'm Doing This Right.
posted by peeedro at 8:14 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

This Vegetarian Hotdog Wasn't Worth The Queue, Ingvar Kamprad
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:19 AM on January 6, 2019 [10 favorites]

"I can't possibly finish this"
posted by rodlymight at 8:20 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get My Nachos
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:23 AM on January 6, 2019 [15 favorites]

Too much vinegar in the bean salad
posted by some loser at 8:25 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I've Lost Control of this Shawarma
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:30 AM on January 6, 2019 [34 favorites]

I Don't Remember Getting Lemons With My Chicken Tikka When I've Ordered It Before
posted by LionIndex at 8:35 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

(But I'm Not Complaining)
posted by LionIndex at 8:35 AM on January 6, 2019

I Didn't Expect This To Be In Sandwich Form
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 8:40 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

There Is Not Enough Left To Take Home (But It Is Too Much To Eat)
posted by uncleozzy at 8:41 AM on January 6, 2019 [10 favorites]

I Wish They Served Liquor
posted by Daily Alice at 8:42 AM on January 6, 2019 [8 favorites]

This Isn't What I Ordered
posted by waitingtoderail at 8:43 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

How do you say steak frites in French?
posted by valkane at 8:44 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

Should Chicken Tikka Really Have Green Peppers?
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 8:46 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

The Kale Was Cut With Romaine
posted by dismas at 8:47 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I don't know why I always expect a bit more.
posted by mollweide at 8:50 AM on January 6, 2019 [5 favorites]

I Don't Care If They Do Deliver It To the Table, Eleven Pounds is Far Too Expensive For a Double Talisker
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:55 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

I Wasn't Here for a Scripted Lecture from the Waiter.
posted by ardgedee at 8:56 AM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

Oh It's Just That Maybe We Should Have Stayed In
posted by alex_skazat at 8:56 AM on January 6, 2019 [16 favorites]

Five Minute Wait for Arancini is a band name, though, I'm convinced.
posted by cage and aquarium at 8:56 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

The Steak Was Larger than I Was Comfotable with

and

Does the Kitchen Even Wash the Greens?
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:01 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

It's Not Insufferable To Ask The Check To Be Split, Jonathan
posted by alex_skazat at 9:02 AM on January 6, 2019 [24 favorites]

It's A Bit Loud and the Wait Was Long
posted by AV at 9:02 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

“This Menu is Fine if You Want Poached Eggs and Wilted Spinach, Otherwise...”
posted by greermahoney at 9:03 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Really, There Isn't Any Chicken Vindaloo Worth Eating on Second Avenue
posted by alex_skazat at 9:04 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

I'm English So The French Cook Offered To Grill My Meat Well-Done - (12 songs about why it's fine to be a racist if you're a vegan)
posted by howfar at 9:06 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

They Didn't Tell Us How Long The Wait Would Be
(How Soon is Brunch?)
posted by redsparkler at 9:08 AM on January 6, 2019 [9 favorites]

Happy hour is over.
posted by theperfectcrime at 9:14 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

"The Sampler Apps Taste Like They Came From the Frozen Section at Kroger."
posted by cooker girl at 9:16 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

"I Was Certain That This Dish Came with Black Beans and Rice (But Apparently, I Was Wrong)"
posted by droplet at 9:20 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

If It's Just Juice (It's Not Really A Mocktail, Is It)
posted by cortex at 9:22 AM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

Why Do I Always Get Such Tiny Wings
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:25 AM on January 6, 2019 [7 favorites]

They Tried Handing My Obviously Blind Husband A Menu Again
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:26 AM on January 6, 2019 [15 favorites]

My Beloved's Tiramisu Has Reminded Me How Tasty Rum Is (but I am not supposed to
mix alcohol with my psych meds)
posted by bagel at 9:27 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

It's Leftover Night Again (We Rarely Eat Out)
posted by nubs at 9:33 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

That's not our ramen
posted by Space Kitty at 9:36 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Grilled avocado unavailable
posted by Space Kitty at 9:37 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

People Keep Opening the Door (And It's Freezing Outside)
posted by Grangousier at 9:48 AM on January 6, 2019 [8 favorites]

The Small Tear in the Imported Paper Lampshade
posted by ropeladder at 9:50 AM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

That was Ok I guess.
posted by sexyrobot at 10:07 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

My Burnt Ends Didn’t Satisfy
posted by loriginedumonde at 10:12 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Our Local Sushi Place is Good But The Ventilation is Poor So We Only Get Takeout Because We Don't Want to Smell Like Tempura All Day (It All Works Out - You Get 10% Off If You Pay Cash For Pickup Orders)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:14 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

You Mean This Isn't (The Fajita Burrito)?
posted by glonous keming at 10:14 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

I Had To Come Into Wetherspoons Because It Was The Only Place In West Bromwich To Buy Crisps.
posted by ambrosen at 10:14 AM on January 6, 2019 [7 favorites]

So Much For Gravy on The Side.
posted by Lizard at 10:20 AM on January 6, 2019 [15 favorites]

The Momo Were Delicious (But Remind Me I No Longer Live In Boston)
posted by nat at 10:20 AM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

They Brought Out the Queso with Our Entrees
posted by thecaddy at 10:20 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Two of the Sixteen Mini-Doughnuts Had Bacon Even Though We're Vegetarians (But at Least We Didn't Eat Them)
posted by lisa g at 10:24 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Guacamole and Avocado are Different
posted by Sequence at 10:29 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

They’re Still Out of Crab.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:37 AM on January 6, 2019 [7 favorites]

only slightly better than staying out in the rain
posted by philip-random at 10:38 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

It's a Bit Less Than I Usually Get
posted by Quindar Beep at 10:38 AM on January 6, 2019 [16 favorites]

She's Setting Everything Down Just Out Of My Reach
posted by Enemy of Joy at 10:41 AM on January 6, 2019 [17 favorites]

I Cracked A Tooth On A Chicken Bone Fragment
posted by boo_radley at 10:42 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

The Conversation at the Table Next to Us is so Very, Very Loud
posted by Otherwise at 10:43 AM on January 6, 2019 [7 favorites]

You're Too Nice To Be Working Here
posted by Capt. Renault at 10:43 AM on January 6, 2019 [7 favorites]

> It's A Bit Loud and the Wait Was Long

A description of the second Stone Roses album, surely.
posted by Quindar Beep at 10:43 AM on January 6, 2019 [14 favorites]

Nobody Told the Servers There Was a Discount Special Advertised
posted by smelendez at 10:46 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

The Candle on the Table Set Mother's Menu Aflame
posted by bendybendy at 10:46 AM on January 6, 2019 [27 favorites]

We Had to Ask for Silverware After the Food Was Served

Dinner at the in-laws last night, featuring college radio favourite “I Will Need Either Cutlery Or A Lot More Napkins.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:59 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Since You Asked, the Cake was a Bit Dry (But Maybe It's Me?)
posted by Gin and Broadband at 11:10 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

There Was No Fennel At The Market
posted by wintermind at 11:10 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I Have to Go to the Counter to Order?
posted by AJaffe at 11:12 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

I didn't know this Mai Tai was going to come in a pint glass
posted by Rinku at 11:20 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

I’m Not Impressed with the Vegetarian Options.
posted by gryphonlover at 11:20 AM on January 6, 2019 [11 favorites]

They're the Only Place Left Still Open.
posted by AnhydrousLove at 11:21 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

Another inspired album-naming thread, Post Here When You See A Clickbait Link That Would Make A Great Album Title, which includes the very Mozzish "The Most Frequently Played Song In The World Is One We All Hate"
posted by bendybendy at 11:23 AM on January 6, 2019 [5 favorites]

"The Horseradish Was More A Whisper Than A Scream"
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 11:23 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

They Were Out of the Tea We Wanted
(So We Ordered a Different Kind, Which Was Also Very Nice)
posted by kyrademon at 11:32 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I Am Trying To Enjoy A Nice Relaxing Evening Out And Wish I Could Tune Out The Industry Shop Talk From The Table Next To Me

(Seriously, I had like 12 hours where I didn't have to think about work and as soon as I sit down I hear people discussing their own jobs in the same industry. Whyyyy meeeee.)
posted by rhiannonstone at 11:33 AM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Or if catered lunch at work counts as a dining experience outside my home:

I Guess I Have To Go All The Way Back To North Carolina To Get Decent BBQ Huh
posted by rhiannonstone at 11:37 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

"They'll Never Believe This Cake On MetaFilter"
posted by Wordshore at 11:38 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

"Even If We'd Had Longer It Wasn't That Good"
posted by TheWaves at 11:48 AM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

The Waitress Acted Like It Was Weird For Me To Ask For Sour Cream To Put On My French Toast (Also There Was No Sour Cream To Be Had)
posted by poffin boffin at 11:59 AM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

Well, this is America, so I guess you have to expect american cheese.
posted by bitslayer at 12:01 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I'm Always Stuffed By The End
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:03 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

the first single released will be This Is Why I Prefer To Only Eat At Ukrainian Diners
posted by poffin boffin at 12:03 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

They Were All Out of Black Pepper Chicken and I Didn't Want to Wait.

More of a Modest Mouse title, innit?
posted by Guy Smiley at 12:17 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

The Piped-In Disco Music Was Not Unpleasant, But Rather Incongruous
posted by anthom at 12:23 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Mine is:

I Should Have Ordered The Large Curly Fries.

My wife's is:

I'm Afraid To Eat The Mint.
posted by KHAAAN! at 12:41 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

Waiter, It Was Really Nothing.
posted by gauche at 12:45 PM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

I haven't been here in four years and now I remember why.
posted by ZipRibbons at 12:49 PM on January 6, 2019 [10 favorites]

There Certainly Is A Lot Of White Food On My Plate
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:50 PM on January 6, 2019 [5 favorites]

The Delicious Regret of Taco Bell
posted by elsietheeel at 12:56 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

Our Local Sushi Place is Good But The Ventilation is Poor So We Only Get Takeout Because We Don't Want to Smell Like Tempura All Day

holy hell Mandolin Conspiracy, do you live near King and Tecumseth? because I used to have that exact same issue when I lived in that neighborhood!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:59 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

This Bacon Isn’t Crispy Enough

Which, seems an unlikely Smiths album, no?

I Guess I Have To Go All The Way Back To North Carolina Texas To Get Decent BBQ Huh. FTFY. I have noticed people here making that mistake all the time.
posted by jeoc at 1:04 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I Would've Liked A Little More Sauce
posted by pointystick at 1:05 PM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

I'm Confident the Takeout Bag Doesn't Contain the Cookie I Paid For
(But I'll Feel Like an Ass if I Open it Here to Check)
posted by maxwelton at 1:07 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

The last song on that album was "No Cookie; How Hard Can This Be?"
posted by maxwelton at 1:09 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

The Trotters Were Too Realistic.
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 1:20 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

There's too much lettuce on this lettuce-wrapped double cheese burger.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:25 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

“My Pho Contains Brisket and Beef Ball When I Only Wanted Round Steak”
posted by hwestiii at 1:31 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

I was expecting a bit of powdered sugar on top.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:36 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

I Thought It Was A Hair (It's Just Some Cheese But I'm Still Queasy)
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:39 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

I Didn’t Much Care for the Sesame Chicken
posted by holborne at 1:44 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

5_13_23_42_69_666: holy hell Mandolin Conspiracy, do you live near King and Tecumseth? because I used to have that exact same issue when I lived in that neighborhood!

Heh. No, but it's not the only sushi place in town where you can end up smelling like the fryer.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:49 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Too Complex a Flavor Profile for Breakfast
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:53 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

It didn't say online that the restaurant was closed today.
posted by Ruki at 1:56 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

Did We Really Need 2am Pizza?
posted by ovenmitt at 2:00 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Which items are gluten-free?
posted by bile and syntax at 2:05 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

The Gravy Lacked Tang
posted by mantecol at 2:08 PM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

Wine For One? No-One Else Showed For The MeFite Meetup.
posted by Wordshore at 2:09 PM on January 6, 2019 [10 favorites]

I'd think the prices would be lower since they moved out of the downtown core but I guess they're just building a buffer against the coming recession.
posted by tilde at 2:33 PM on January 6, 2019

And also

"They took your straw back ... oh, I see it's wedged in a crack for the next time someone moves these tables."
posted by tilde at 2:35 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

There's No Aardvark
posted by curious nu at 2:43 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Well, at least I couldn't taste the Chef's sexual dysfunction this time.
posted by hoodrich at 2:47 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

My Date Ordered Something I Didn't Want to Try
posted by the primroses were over at 2:48 PM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

What I Really Wanted Wasn't On The Menu
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:49 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

If I Had Seen it, I Would Have Ordered the Eggs Benedict Too.
posted by happyroach at 2:54 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Oh Lord, They Buttered the Bread (Lament For My Bowel)
posted by Panthalassa at 3:02 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

"This isn't the beer I asked for, but it's not so bad."
posted by kimota at 3:02 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

It's Not What I Ordered, But I'm Fine With It
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:15 PM on January 6, 2019 [10 favorites]

The potatoes could have been hotter.
posted by theora55 at 3:20 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

This Drink Reminded Me Why I Don't Like Beer, But It's Not Your Fault
posted by rogerroger at 3:36 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

The Dog Won’t Stop Farting
posted by K0dama at 3:43 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I Wanted To Be Myself in the Back Corner But They Put Me in a Booth in the Front Right Next to Screaming Children
posted by Fig at 3:57 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

The Restaurant is Mostly Empty But We've Been Seated at the Worst Possible Table.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:00 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

I Guess You Get What You Pay For With the Free Lentil Soup
posted by invitapriore at 4:04 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

“Spicy enough, but disappointing somehow”
posted by rodlymight at 4:22 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

"I Was Looking For A Cheese And Then I Ate The Cheese,
And Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now."
posted by Wordshore at 4:27 PM on January 6, 2019 [6 favorites]

I Specifically Asked For No Cornbread
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 4:30 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Wine For One? No-One Else Showed For The MeFite Meetup.

There is a night that we never goes out.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 4:31 PM on January 6, 2019 [13 favorites]

The Sushi Prix Fixe Was a Bit Pedestrian; the Soy Sauce Pitcher Dribbled
posted by potrzebie at 4:49 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Since Medium Rare Was Burnt, I'd Hate To See Well Done
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 4:52 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

It'll Be More Comfortable Once They Expand Next Door.
posted by Mutant Lobsters from Riverhead at 4:58 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Everything Is The Same Shade Of Brown
posted by ook at 4:58 PM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

The Pho Was A Nice Try, But A Bit Watery And Missing A Few Key Ingredients.
posted by blue shadows at 4:59 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Our Waitron Was Definitely Eavesdropping (So I Deliberately Made It Weird)
posted by palomar at 5:02 PM on January 6, 2019 [10 favorites]

Took Me A While To Get The Normal Menu.
posted by jessamyn at 5:26 PM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

There's Too Many Wannabes Here
posted by vignettist at 5:28 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

You Were Right: We Should Have Subbed the Ceviche for the Empanadas
posted by gingerbeer at 5:55 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Jesus, It’s Cold In Here (Why Isn’t It A Law That Every Anchorage Business Has An Arctic Entry?)
posted by charmedimsure at 6:04 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

There is No Potato Soup at this Wawa (The Philadelphian’s Lament)
posted by ActionPopulated at 6:10 PM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

Why Are Half The Steamtables Empty? (It Must Be Shift Change)
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:41 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

The vegetable options are unappealing.
posted by rpfields at 6:48 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

"The Child Next to Us May Have the Flu"
posted by hwyengr at 7:18 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Stuck At The Dining Table Because The Bar Was Too Full
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 7:25 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

I Didn't Know Spaghetti Squash Could Be Made To Be This Unhealthy
posted by Seamus at 7:41 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

The Cheese Got Warm in the Sun
posted by emd3737 at 7:59 PM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

Is that all the crab meat I get?
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:10 PM on January 6, 2019 [4 favorites]

Please turn down the music so we can hear the specials.
posted by lipservant at 8:16 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Our Waitron Was Definitely Eavesdropping 

Don't worry, retrofuturistic Waitron 9000 exists To Serve Humans
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 8:19 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

Please turn down the music so we can hear the specials.

Everyday Is Like Friday Night, Saturday Morning?
posted by elsietheeel at 9:07 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Why Is The Edamame So Cold
posted by Panthalassa at 9:59 PM on January 6, 2019 [2 favorites]

Yuck, Now I Have Onion Breath
posted by HotToddy at 10:11 PM on January 6, 2019 [1 favorite]

When I Asked for New Chips Because Mine Were Stale I Didn’t Mean Bring Me More Stale Chips.

This Is an Oyster Bar and You Don’t Even Have Oyster Crackers for This Abomination You Call Chowder.

This Was Delicious Last Time I Was Here Why Is It So Horrible Now?
posted by bendy at 10:24 PM on January 6, 2019 [3 favorites]

The Banh Mî is amazing but they're always playing The Venga Boys.
posted by cilantro at 1:35 AM on January 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

I Know This Is Bad For Me
posted by Vesihiisi at 2:23 AM on January 7, 2019 [8 favorites]

they're always playing The Venga Boys.

no i think you misunderstood its supposed to be a complaint
posted by uncleozzy at 5:26 AM on January 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

Too Small Soup

2Small Soup

２  ｓｍｏｌ  ｓｏｏｐ

Depending on the genre I guess.
posted by jonnay at 5:54 AM on January 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

Luckily this late arriving espresso was meant to be served over ice.

(lead single 'my diamond shoes are pinching meeeeeeeeeeeee.')
posted by halcyonday at 6:05 AM on January 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

Why do you list complicated menu items if you never (ever) get them right?
posted by Sophie1 at 6:44 AM on January 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

The Mates at the Office Made Fun of My Breakfast Choices
(and heaven knows I'm miserable now)
posted by pianoblack at 6:52 AM on January 7, 2019 [6 favorites]

This Trying Too Hard to be Charming Waiter.
posted by Naberius at 8:31 AM on January 7, 2019 [4 favorites]

The Hot Sauce They Told Me To "Be Careful" With Wasn't Really That Hot.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:52 AM on January 7, 2019 [2 favorites]

My Stomach Hurts, So Why Am I Still Eating?
posted by ElleElle at 8:59 AM on January 7, 2019 [6 favorites]

I Chose My Froyo Toppings Without A Coherent Plan, Again
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:03 AM on January 7, 2019 [10 favorites]

This Cider is Considerably Stronger than the Listed AVB

Feat. "Everyone at the Table Could Hear What Was Happening in the Bathroom (And I Had to Go Three Times)"
posted by agentofselection at 10:12 AM on January 7, 2019 [5 favorites]

I Brought You To The Ramen Shop And You Ordered A Tuna Wrap
posted by spinturtle at 10:53 AM on January 7, 2019 [9 favorites]

Pigeon Trapped in the Gents' Again
posted by miles per flower at 11:44 AM on January 7, 2019 [8 favorites]

The Food Truck Ran Out Of Food (So We Ordered Delivery To The Brewery Taproom)
posted by snowmentality at 11:57 AM on January 7, 2019 [2 favorites]

This Wendy's Smells Like Overheated Aged Body Odor
posted by "mad dan" eccles at 12:26 PM on January 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

My Stomach Rebelled at the Very Idea of Sauerkraut
posted by DrAstroZoom at 12:57 PM on January 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

T’hb’s contribution: “That was more Greek yogurt than I was expecting”.
posted by halcyonday at 1:43 PM on January 7, 2019 [2 favorites]

"I Think the Waiter is Stoned"
posted by gingerbeer at 2:22 PM on January 7, 2019 [9 favorites]

I’m Not Impressed with the Vegetarian Options.
The Pasta Primavera Song

(When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we joked that we were going to get the caterer to make something delicious for us, then give everyone else pasta primavera. Fellow vegetarians, you know what I'm talking about. Don't fret, we gave everyone very good, very tasty, creative vegetarian options. But it was a nice revenge fantasy.)
posted by soren_lorensen at 2:34 PM on January 7, 2019 [6 favorites]

Uninspired Parmigiana
posted by not_on_display at 6:24 PM on January 7, 2019

@soren_lorensen - The second disk of that two-CD set would be:

"The Vegetarian Meal is Just A Larger Helping of Sides"
posted by muddgirl at 6:27 PM on January 7, 2019 [7 favorites]

The Pasta Primavera Song

If you hate Pasta Primavera, and getting stuck with the veg
If you're not into fresh greens, and you crave a cheese wedge
If you like double burger Big Macs, or a chicken BBQ
Here's the meal that you've looked for, it's a Meat Bomb for you
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:44 PM on January 7, 2019 [1 favorite]

B Side:
Some Protein Would Be Nice (Entree Salad With Low Fat Dressing Remix)
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:06 PM on January 7, 2019 [3 favorites]

This All-Inclusive Resort Breakfast Sausage is Kind of Dry
posted by numaner at 7:19 PM on January 8, 2019 [2 favorites]

We All Noshed on a Haddock Submarine

(sorry wrong band)
posted by not_on_display at 8:42 PM on February 4, 2019 [1 favorite]

I said I like it here, can I stay?
I got this check I cannot pay;
Do you have a vacancy
for a pot scrubber?
posted by not_on_display at 10:39 PM on February 4, 2019

Do I have to eat the pizza until it fits in the fridge?
posted by tilde at 11:00 AM on February 5, 2019