"Hey, I just wanted to let you know someone is pretending to be you …"

February 20, 2019 3:01 PM

Last year, I found out someone was using my photos to catfish women. He stole dozens of my online photos – including selfies, family photos, baby photos, photos with my ex – and, pretending to be me, he would then approach women and spew a torrent of abuse at them. It took me months to track him down, and now I’m about to call him. I’m nervous, so much so that I have been putting it off for weeks. I sit down and dial. My palms are sweaty. He picks up.

–How to catch a catfisher by Max Benwell. [CW: Abusive language]
posted by Kattullus (20 comments total)

This reads like some sort of bizarre affiliate marketing post. I definitely know several businesses to contact if I need to polish up my insta or research a catfisher, now.

I will say that if you ever get a chance to call up an internet scammer and yell at them, it's great fun. If you tell them you're with law enforcement they will say some wild shit before they hang up on you.
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:18 PM on February 20, 2019 [9 favorites]

Very interesting story and utterly unsatisfying end! I had such a strong and powerful urge for Max to get revenge and retribution, but he just let it go! I could never.....
posted by pjsky at 3:18 PM on February 20, 2019 [11 favorites]

But why my face? I ask. She pauses awkwardly. “Because … you’re attractive,” she says. Thanking her, I explain that there’s no way I can mention that in my article.

#grauniadhumblebrag
posted by The Tensor at 3:20 PM on February 20, 2019 [40 favorites]

Yeah, I don't feel like he really caught the catfisher. That catfish got away.
posted by grumpybear69 at 3:33 PM on February 20, 2019 [5 favorites]

That all seemed pretty pointless.
posted by ryanrs at 3:37 PM on February 20, 2019 [12 favorites]

"From what I’ve gleaned, my catfisher is from Oklahoma and likes beautiful and sexy, women. (I know this because I have found comments he has left on random women’s Instagram posts. One says beautiful, the other sexy)."

....and ya lost me.

Not that you had me that much in the first place. Three different women bothering to do a reverse image search and contact you was a weak starting point.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:46 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

That was underwhelming but predictable. Catfisher doesn't want to bite, so there really wasn't anywhere to go! Cool that he found his catfisher but a huge bummer this person had no interest in giving any insight as to why they did what they did. Presumably that time period where they decided to not participate in the article is when they had to examine themselves to realize they had no good answers for why they were being so shitty.
posted by GoblinHoney at 3:50 PM on February 20, 2019

Gotta put the hook all the way through the bait or you're just going to end up feeding the fishes.
posted by AugustWest at 3:53 PM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]

I'm puzzling over the point of it without legal consequences. Did he even bother to call law enforcement? Why was this guy doing it anyway - just because he had some rage towards women he wanted to take out? From what little was gleaned, the catfisher sounds like the majority of dudes on Tinder, some of who aren't catfish and are merely ...blech. Those guys behave the same way without even bothering to hide their identities.
posted by medea42 at 4:44 PM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

For those of you itching for a story where a) the catfisher is caught and goes to jail and b) gives more insight into why they did what they did, I present you with:

Indictment: The Crimes of Shelly Chartier [CBCdocsPOV ]
Indictment: The Crimes of Shelly Chartier [YouTube]

the story of a Canadian woman who catfished NBA player Chris 'Birdman' Andersen and a teenage Instagram model.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 5:18 PM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]

I assume that, for the author, half the point of writing the article was to establish public documentation that he wasn’t the person sending awful messages to people. Gotta nip that reputation poison in the bud before it becomes a permanent Google stain.
posted by dephlogisticated at 5:31 PM on February 20, 2019 [9 favorites]

Just as a side note:

Max Benwell is an Audience Engagement Editor for Guardian US

What the hell is an Audience Engagement Editor?
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 5:38 PM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]

The guy whose job it is to get people interested in their stories (for example, by asking, "What the hell is an Audience Engagement Editor?")
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:44 PM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]

Editor seems like a weird way to describe that job.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:54 PM on February 20, 2019

The Online Harassment Field Manual linked at the end of the article offers a variety of resources and further reading, including Wellness and Community, Legal Considerations, and Cyber Safety and Security.
posted by Little Dawn at 8:23 PM on February 20, 2019 [3 favorites]

I feel catfished by this article. I was defrauded of my time by someone pretending to be a writer.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:49 PM on February 20, 2019 [7 favorites]

Buzzword Salad.
posted by Optamystic at 2:57 AM on February 21, 2019

I can't say I am a fan of this trend in articles that just end with no resolution. Is it that everyone fancies themselves a writer and thinks they have a story worth telling regardless of whether or not they can wrap it up with at least an insightful ending based on their experience? Or was this just an exposure piece (which wouldn't make sense given that he didn't use the guy's real name, did he?). What new wisdom or perspective about the phenomenon of catfishing are we supposed to glean from this? This is a glorified social media post.

Sorry, I'll stop yelling at cloud.
posted by Young Kullervo at 5:18 AM on February 21, 2019 [2 favorites]

Well, he did get to publish an article in the Guardian apparently "proving" that he's hot. Which he definitely can't mention in his article.
posted by Autumnheart at 8:54 AM on February 21, 2019 [2 favorites]

Editor seems like a weird way to describe that job.

When you can't pay people you give them a title.

see also: any producer who's not an "executive producer" in video production.
posted by davros42 at 10:40 AM on February 21, 2019