You cannot pet the dog in Dark Souls

March 9, 2019 12:32 PM

Can You Pet the Dog? (@CanYouPetTheDog) [Twitter] “Whether out on the sidewalk, at a party in somebody’s house, or fleeing from a pack of wild dogs, what’s your first instinct—as a rational, sound-minded human being—upon meeting a dog? That’s right: you want to pet it. Video games are meant to let us fulfill our wildest fantasies, and yet, many of them won’t grant us that simple wish. One hero has taken to chronicling every game that lets you pet dogs—and those that don’t. Each entry gets straight to the point, saying whether or not you can pet a dog in a particular game and providing visual evidence.” [via: Kotaku]
posted by Fizz (63 comments total)

Meeko. Meeko. You can't pet meeko, you can only watch them launch themselves at a dragon and die protecting you... oh Meeko...
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:49 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

I want a game like Skyrim, but where all you do is go around petting dogs.

... Wait a minute, is that what Pokemon is?
posted by meese at 1:00 PM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

I haven't played any pokemans, but it always sounded to me like a game where you imprison dogs in tiny cages and train them to fight for you in the only moments they spend in the open.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 1:08 PM on March 9, 2019 [17 favorites]

... Wait a minute, is that what Pokemon is?

No. Pokemon is dog-fighting with monsters. What you want is something else.
posted by Fizz at 1:09 PM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

the only major flaw that legend of zelda: breath of the wild has is that you can't pet the dog.

like I would totally pay at least five bucks for dlc that just let me pet the dog.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 1:09 PM on March 9, 2019 [12 favorites]

like I would totally pay at least five bucks for dlc that just let me pet the dog.

They're good sprites Ganon.
posted by Fizz at 1:17 PM on March 9, 2019 [15 favorites]

Dark Souls isn't really a pet-the-dog kind of game.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 1:29 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

Wait a minute, I thought Dark Souls was a metaphor for petting dogs.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:29 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

Years ago I tried playing Tomb Raider. The second level of the game started with two dogs mauling my character to death. I quit playing the game after determining that the only way through that scenario was to shoot the dogs; I just couldn't.

I'd probably still be playing it if I'd been able to pet the two doggies. That's a much better scenario.
posted by LilithSilver at 1:31 PM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

Those were wolves, dude. You can totally go back and kill them now.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 1:33 PM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

They were clearly supposed to be dobermans.

I wouldn't shoot wolves either.
posted by LilithSilver at 1:38 PM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

> I thought Dark Souls was a metaphor for petting dogs.

Petting dogs is the Dark Souls of metaphors.

You can pet the dragon in Panzer Dragoon Saga and the pods in Nier: Automata, they're dog-like enough I reckon.
posted by Bangaioh at 1:42 PM on March 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

Still playing Assassin's Creed III: Liberation. You can pet the dogs. Also the pigs.
posted by asperity at 1:43 PM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

In chess you can pet the horsies.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:47 PM on March 9, 2019 [38 favorites]

The bestest doggos in gaming were in Torchlight because they enabled your hording issues by carrying back your loot to town and got it sold.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 1:51 PM on March 9, 2019 [8 favorites]

You cannot pet the dog on metafilter.
posted by Nanukthedog at 1:51 PM on March 9, 2019 [10 favorites]

like I would totally pay at least five bucks for dlc that just let me pet the dog.

Same. Leaving money on the table, Nintendo!

Sure, the Hero's Path was incredibly helpful, but we wanna pet the dogs in addition to feeding them hunks o'meat.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:57 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

You cannot pet the dog on metafilter.
posted by Nanukthedog

Eponysterical...but what if we patiently waited, with open hearts and hands, made no startling moves, and offered treats?
posted by otherchaz at 2:00 PM on March 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

I remember the shock I felt at 13 when I realized my dog, whom we'd had for a couple of years, didn't really like being petted all that much. I stepped back from him one day and said "you didn't enjoy that, did you?"

It was a big disappointment, but I think I've seen the same thing in a lot of dogs since, and their people are mostly oblivious.
posted by jamjam at 2:05 PM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

Warframe lets you pet the weird bat-dog things and the weird hairless cat things *and* the little bird-like robot walker things.

Wargroove, infuriatingly, does not let you pet either the commander who is a dog or the units who are packs of dogs.
posted by tobascodagama at 2:06 PM on March 9, 2019

Wait a minute, I thought Dark Souls was a metaphor for petting dogs.

Dark Souls is a metaphor for giving a cat a belly rub.
posted by pwnguin at 2:08 PM on March 9, 2019 [16 favorites]

You can't pet the reptodogs in No Man's Sky, but you can feed them carbon, and they'll follow you around and bring all their friends, then poop, and you can collect the poop. It's cute!
posted by zompist at 2:10 PM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

Yeah that's one of the minor things that bugs me about Witcher 3. Want to kill dogs anytime you want? We got you!
posted by Brocktoon at 2:19 PM on March 9, 2019

More recent Pokémons, from X and Y onwards, let you give treats and pets to all your creatures.
posted by bagel at 2:22 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

You can pet a dog in any game if there's a dog next to you while you play.
posted by skymt at 2:30 PM on March 9, 2019 [19 favorites]

Petting dogs is the Dark Souls of metaphors.


Is one of the dogs named Crouton?
posted by darkstar at 2:32 PM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

'Dogmeat' from Fallout 4 is one of the better video-game companion dogs. And Skyrim has a good dog too.
posted by Fizz at 2:44 PM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

the only major flaw that legend of zelda: breath of the wild has is that you can't pet the dog.

They were going to put a button in that let you pet the dog, but it got canned under their design philosophy of multipurpose game actions.
posted by Quackles at 2:48 PM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Source regarding the dog petting thing.
posted by Quackles at 2:54 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

Mario Odyssey has a great in-game dog. He finds treasure, but he'll also follow you around and play fetch with your hat. Good boy.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:59 PM on March 9, 2019

You cannot pet the dog in Dark Souls

You can try to pet that dog, it just doesn't let you! Because it has a job to do.

(It's difficult to explain this without spoilers, but it involves... time travel. Poor Sif.)
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 2:59 PM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Would also happen all the time when I was playing a druid and just hanging out in bear or cat form. Nothing like being a bear. Minding my own business and watching auctions. And then some paladin comes up and starts scratching my ears while going "YOU'RE SO CUTE!"

Haha. I used to have a macro for WoW I'd use on the occasional druid, where I'd pet them, say "You're a kitty!" and emote an excited clap.   Sadly, no one ever seemed to note the reference, though I can't really complain since I always laughed when I did it, which was the important bit.

Blizzard has allowed at least some animals, like some fawns and cats, to be petted since at least Legion—they'll have a special icon and you'll kneel down while you do it, then they'll jump around excitedly for a moment.  It's quite cute.  I was saddened though that you get no vanity buff for doing so.  Can't recall if they have any dogs flagged as such in the game, but I'd be surprised if they don't.
posted by los pantalones del muerte at 3:06 PM on March 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

Witcher 3 gets a lot of praise. Deep sidequests, good design, all that jazz. But you cannot pet the dogs, or the cats. Massive failure!

I remain baffled that Fallout 4 didn't have multiple DLC cashgrabs that simply added additional tricks and being-petted animations to Dogmeat.

I think it might be possible many game developers don't actually know what dogs are. I know that seems strange, but it seems to fit the facts in many cases.
posted by Drastic at 3:46 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

Bran is the underrated Skyrim dog. I'll bet a few of you are googling who he is right now.
posted by East14thTaco at 4:31 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

In nethack you can throw food to cats, dogs, and horses to turn them into pets, but you can't pet them.
posted by idiopath at 4:43 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

I don't play The Sims 4, but they have an expansion called Cats & Dogs. LGR did a review and the first thing that shocked me was the price tag: $40 (it's $20 now). I knew it was a shitty cash grab when the usually hyper-optimistic LGR was disappointed in the obvious lack of features. And hey! Do you want DLC for your DLC? Because you can buy an expansion for the pet expansion! Insert "yo dawg" joke (and pun!) here.
posted by Brocktoon at 5:16 PM on March 9, 2019

All this talk of the dog in Torchlight reminded me again of Penny Arcade's take. Who's my good boy?

Also, while trying to think of older games with pettable dogs, somehow all I came up with was the photographer's bottom from North And South. Endlessly rewarding!
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 6:01 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

Petting dogs seems so 2017. The next gen games will have a giant cat head jutting into the frame, attempting to scratch its head with your knuckles, generating random keystrokes and trackpad movements.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:03 PM on March 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

You cannot pet dogs in Wolfenstein 3D. However, with a little modding, you CAN pet dogs in Woofenstein 3D.
posted by codacorolla at 6:14 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

Pet the Pup at the Party is a game where your goal is to ... pet the pup at the party. It's surprisingly difficult, but you know, if you want a game where petting the dog is the entire point.

I'm dog-sitting currently and these two dogs have made a real-life game out of being petted. With one, if I stop, she'll quietly whine until I do so again. The other will just jump all over me and try to sit in my lap (she's about 40 lbs so it ... doesn't work out). It's a good thing they're both cute.
posted by darksong at 6:45 PM on March 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

Today I took my toddler out to play in the snow, and he met a super-enthusiastic terrier-mix who lives up the street, who was so excited to meet a human her size that she leapt up on his chest, badly misjudging the Newtonian physics of the equation and knocking my startled child to the ground. The dog then attempted to lick his face in penance, making the situation much worse and ending with a screaming toddler and a deeply worried dog. While this situation played out, I learned that my neighbor's cousin wrote Sharknado.

This story has no bearing on video game dogs, but I'm pretty sure I'll never get to tell it anywhere else. Thank you for your time, MetaFilter.
posted by Mayor West at 6:46 PM on March 9, 2019 [35 favorites]

This really needs to be combined with Does the Dog Die.
posted by DingoMutt at 6:49 PM on March 9, 2019 [7 favorites]

They were going to put a button in that let you pet the dog, but it got canned under their design philosophy of multipurpose game actions.

I don't care how logical their decision may have been, it's bullshit and if they thought petting would only be a single-use game action they should have thought harder about alternate use cases for a "pet" command.

Also, it's a completely legitimate design philosophy to have game actions that serve no purpose other than fulfilling the desires of players. It's all about immersion, just look at all the games that let you flush toilets.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:53 PM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

Lies! You can pet Dogmeat, but only once, when you first meet him.

You cannot pet the dog in Dragon Age, but you can get little cutscenes where all your companions tell your dog how great it is.
posted by lovecrafty at 6:54 PM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

I bet my nintendog is super lonely right now. :(
posted by Literaryhero at 7:12 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

This is not a video game story, but in my D&D campaign, one of the players bought a mastiff to have as a watchdog around camp. He's very careful to try to keep the dog out of any combat that might happen for fear that the monsters will target him.

Because I want to preserve my appearance as an impartial DM who is capable of having monsters exploit any weakness in an encounter, I have not told him I would never target a dog, even an imaginary one, and that I want to give that mastiff belly rubs (and soon there will be an NPC that does that).
posted by nubs at 7:23 PM on March 9, 2019 [12 favorites]

You cannot pet the dog in Minecraft, despite the fact you can tame and/or breed a literal dog army that will sacrifice their lives to protect yours.
posted by anastasiav at 7:52 PM on March 9, 2019

You can pet the dogs in Dragon Quest XI. I think the cats have a non-petting, but friendly interaction, but my favorite animals in the game are the cows. The cows will tell you the weather, for some wholly inexplicable reason.
posted by Diagonalize at 8:32 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

> I don't care how logical their decision may have been, it's bullshit and if they thought petting would only be a single-use game action they should have thought harder about alternate use cases for a "pet" command.

yeah the way I’d do it is “push y while not holding a weapon to pet.” It’d work on all animals.

If it’s not intuitive, it’s no less intuitive than the cooking system.
posted by Reclusive Novelist Thomas Pynchon at 9:54 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

Can't wait for Hades to move out of early access so I can pat Cerberus, as the gods intended.
posted by gesso at 10:08 PM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

I gave up on WoW super early because I accidentally killed a cat while trying to pet it :(
posted by lwb at 10:37 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

I gave up on WoW super early because I accidentally killed a cat while trying to pet it :(

Are you sure you aren't a character in a Steinbeck novel?
posted by Literaryhero at 3:46 AM on March 10, 2019 [14 favorites]

In all the Sims games I've played - most recently the iOS version - you get points and strengths and awards for petting dogs. It seems vital to their survival. So there's that.
posted by bendy at 4:07 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]

Some dogs are cuddlers and love pats, others not so much. I have shared my life with both.
posted by freethefeet at 4:30 AM on March 10, 2019

Five minutes out of the tutorial for Watch Dogs 2, I found out that there's a contextual button press that will let you pet dogs and tell them they're good.

A+++ WOULD WATCH DOGS AGAIN
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 9:39 AM on March 10, 2019 [2 favorites]

Far Cry 5 went on sale and I said why not. You can recruit a dog, a mountain lion, and a bear. And you can pet them! At least the dog and the cat. I haven't unlocked the bear yet.

He's a good boy, too. He spots all the enemies in an area for you.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 10:49 AM on March 10, 2019 [2 favorites]

This really needs to be combined with Does the Dog Die.
posted by DingoMutt

Eponysterical...and I didn't find you in either list
posted by otherchaz at 11:03 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]

No mention of Monster Hunter World yet? I haven't played it yet, but the idea of going out and fighting, partnered with a sentient bipedal domestic cat is so appealing to me. Especially because... you have a sentient bipedal domestic cat, and you hunt, you just know that the cat's going to be pissed if you don't bring them along.
posted by wotsac at 12:13 PM on March 10, 2019

Not only can you PAT the dogs in RDR2, you can TALK to them to tell them they are good doggos.
posted by biscotti at 2:24 PM on March 10, 2019 [4 favorites]

Say what you will about the Far Cry games, but the most recent have a pretty good animal-petting engine. New Dawn has a massive boar who just loves ear scritchies.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:55 PM on March 10, 2019

In Pillars of Eternity 2, you can not only pet the first dog you see in town (which gives you good points, of course), but you can adopt any stray cat or dog you see around and have it run alongside you!
posted by drinkyclown at 7:36 PM on March 10, 2019 [2 favorites]

Far Cry Primal: every predator petted and reviewed
posted by praemunire at 8:47 PM on March 11, 2019 [2 favorites]

My first instinct in videogames that feature dogs and children is to see if the game allows you to harm them in any way. I've no wish to do violence to dogs or children, but knowing the majority of games disallow harming either compels me to at least try.
posted by GoblinHoney at 11:17 AM on March 13, 2019